Chapter 32
Talvie
The trees thin ahead. I haven’t been able to feel my feet since Beron called me Princess, but I’m still stumbling forward under his relentless pressure.
I tried to run.
He stopped me before I could take a step. “We tried that already, Princess.”
I tried to plead.
“We have no choice,” is all he said.
There’s nothing left to try.
Water shimmers between low branches, and I recognize the clearing. The reflecting pond. The same place I saw my new disguise, where I hated it so much I thought it was the end of everything, but it turned out to be a whole new beginning.
It’s the pool where I saw Lark’s face beside mine, a glimpse of my future.
What would I see now?
My face, wilder than it used to be, but also fierce and sure.
A woman with more confidence than I’ve felt in years.
A fae who has experienced loss and heartache, who fought to find a place in a new world, and who found more than she ever bargained for.
Someone awake and aware of the world for the first time, with so much more still to learn.
Someone who has found joy and friendship and family. Who has felt love.
And my future? I can only assume it will be the black watery nothingness of the Deep, because standing beside the pond, her icy stare locked on me, is Taynia.
Her mouth curls into a cruel twist. “Ah, Beron, darling. I knew the interest of a hunter could only be captured by one thing—prey.” She turns her gaze to me. “Now what do we have here?”
Long manicured fingers reach for my neck. In one snatch, she grabs my pendant and yanks. The cheap chain bites my neck for an instant before it snaps, and she wrenches Lumi’s moonstone away from me.
“No!”
My cry is useless. Without hesitating, Taynia encases the necklace in a block of solid ice and tosses it into the pond.
Between one heartbeat and the next, the tresses cascading over my shoulder go from midnight blue to dazzling white, and my reaching hands darken to the rich-brown skin I so missed when Lumi first disguised me.
Her reflections are all gone now. My dark fingers shake as I reach for my ears, feeling tall points protruding through my hair.
I drop to my knees. The basket of apples topples onto the snow.
“Ah, Talvie, there you are.” Queen Taynia bends over and grabs my face.
A tiny gasp comes from beyond the branches.
A flash of color. Cabbage purple.
My eyes fly wide.
“Yes. You found me!” I shout, drawing the attention of the few huntsmen standing across the pond. Anything to distract them.
Why, oh why, did Aili follow me? If the queen spots a little Wilder girl spying, she’ll kill her along with me just to avoid a witness. She won’t ask questions or spare an innocent life.
Not unless I can unfreeze her heart.
I can’t wait for the play. It has to be now.
I have to do this!
“R-remember the time you wove flowers into my braids?” It’s the first memory I latch onto.
I let emotion flood the words, trying to reach her.
“You were so patient, saying a princess should wield beauty like power. They all fell out and left a trail of blossoms all the way to dinner, and we were laughing so hard, Is? asked if we’d been drugged.
You just pressed a finger to your lips like it was our special secret. ”
Taynia stands back with a hand on her hip, not reacting.
“You must remember the snowball fight.” I try again.
“I was seven. You roped the entire palace staff into participating, saying it was for training my aim. Then you aligned us all against Beron and you pelted him in the face with snowballs.” I let the image breathe, absurd and bright in the frozen air.
Taynia is silent, but Beron ducks his face and coughs.
“You laughed so hard you cried. I think I peed myself.”
Still no reaction, so I rise to my feet.
“That was real. That was you. Not this stranger standing here with a frozen heart and an army of fear. Did you mean to freeze your own heart that day, Taynia? Or were you just trying to lock away the pain? Because that day changed everything. I didn’t just lose Is?…
I lost you too.” My voice shakes as I plead.
I’ve never said these things to my stepmother. Never told her how it hurt me when she shut me out, and it feels good to speak the truth out loud at last. If I can't sway her, I can at least hope Aili has time to sneak away. And I can face my fate knowing I told her how I feel. Knowing I tried.
“Look at what’s happened. Look around you.
You were trying to protect us with that wall—protect yourself, too—and I understand.
I do. I miss him every day, and I hate the Night Guardians who took him from us.
But this endless winter is hurting the entire Hinterlands.
The people are desperate. They’re leaving.
Families are torn apart. Those who stay are hungry and exhausted, working extra jobs just trying to care for each other.
The Hinterlands is breaking, and you’re the only one who can heal it. ”
The quiet is heavy. In the distance, an owl hoots as if to punctuate the hopelessness.
“You have to thaw your heart, Taynia. Let yourself feel, even if it hurts. Because you have to feel pain to be able to feel joy. That’s the only way to protect what we all love.
"Is? loved the Hinterlands like he loved you and me. You know he wouldn’t want this for you.
For us. And no matter what you feel now, no matter how these past few years have been, I know you loved me once.
You locked your heart away to survive, but it’s still in there.
You can love again if only you thaw the walls around yourself. ”
With a sigh, I fall silent. If I haven’t reached her yet, I won’t. The rest is up to her. Her gaze hasn’t left my face, and not a single flash of emotion has crossed her eyes. She’s so still, I’d almost consider running again if it weren’t for the huntsmen guarding the clearing’s perimeter.
Then she laughs.
It’s a hollow sound. Bitter cold and unfeeling. Fake.
And I know. There’s no way to reach her with words alone. There never was.
My heart sinks to the bottom of the pond.
“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you two were conspiring,” Taynia says, pointing a sharp nail between me and Beron.
“Oh yes. Beron tried saying some of those same things to me, didn’t you?
” Her accusing glare is pure ice, but he stands at attention, unflinching.
She shakes her head and turns back to me.
“Of course Beron is loyal to me, darling, not to you. He did convince me of one thing, though. Do you want to know your new fate?”
I don’t. I definitely do not.
“Come then, Talvie. Have a look into the reflecting pond.”
Sharp shards of ice appear in midair, shoving me toward the water’s edge as Taynia flicks her fingers almost casually.
“Go on. Look. Tell me what you see.”
The smooth black surface clears around my reflection. My true face stares back, but I hardly recognize myself. I don’t feel like the same girl who left the palace with that face.
As I watch, the pond goes white around my reflection, until what I’m looking at is myself, encased in ice.
“Tell me!”
One of the ice shards jabs me in the back of the shoulder. “I—I’m asleep. Enchanted. Frozen in ice.”
“What else?”
“The room—it’s the throne room antechamber. I’m on a pedestal and you’re there. You look beautiful and…not sad, but…”
“I’m going to look despondent, darling. Maybe one of those half-breed wretches you were squatting with can show me a good sad face. They’re actors, right? We have to go to their stupid play after this. Keeping up pretences and all.”
Anger flares in my chest at her description of Lark and the kids. “They are so much more than that. I’ve met better folk out here than I ever did in the capital.”
She snorts. “Sure you have. Now, you see the brilliance of this plan? Beron was most convincing. It’s truly nefarious, actually.
I didn’t know he had it in him.” She gives him a bitter smile, which he doesn’t return.
“Instead of the kingdom grieving your death, it will be me they pity. Me they give attention and lavish with gifts. Me, the devastated widow whose cherished stepdaughter has been cursed to an endless frozen slumber, who shows incredible strength in wearing the crown despite all I’ve been through.
So tragic. The people will love me again. ”
“That—that won’t work.” My breath trembles. “Maybe for a moment, but they’re still suffering. Soon, the cold cruelty of this permafrost will be too much for whatever pity they might feel for you. You’ll end up alone, Taynia.”
She leans in close to me, taking my face in her hand again. The pinch of her fingers hurts my cheeks. “I’m already alone,” she whispers, and my heart breaks.
“Beron, the potion.” Taynia holds her other hand out and receives the bottle he carried here.
As he hands it over, his eyes catch mine.
There’s something there, something pained and raw.
It’s too late for regret, though. This might not be as fast as his axe, but I’ll be as good as dead all the same. Betrayal flares anew.
I throw a flurry of snow between us and jerk back, trying to escape. Taynia’s grip only tightens. Her ice shards jab painfully into my back and legs, pinning me in place. Before I can try to use my ice to shatter hers, she encases my hands in frozen blocks. She’s always had the stronger magic.
I jerk and shake my head, but Taynia only tuts and raises the bottle. Ice encircles my neck, holding my head still as she tips the open bottle to my mouth. It shoves past my lips despite my efforts to seal them, and cold liquid floods my tongue. It tastes like plumot and bitter berry.
I clamp my jaw. I refuse to swallow. She can’t do this!
Then ice clogs my nose.
I can’t breathe.
Reaching for magic to counter hers, I blast ice pellets outward, only to have them arc around her. She’s too strong. Lungs burning, my last thought is of Lark. I’m going to let him down.
I won’t be there for the play. More importantly, I’ll miss the hearing. What if Lark loses the kids because I couldn’t keep up my end of our bargain?
And I never got to tell him the truth of who I am. I never got to tell him my true feelings. I never got to tell him…I love you.
Storms. I love him.
I’m in love with Lark.
My lungs spasm, and a desperate gasp leaves me choking on plumot-flavored potion. It slides down my throat, a cold poison that pools in my belly. Ice spreads through my veins, and my eyelids fall, too heavy to keep open. The last thing I see only freezes me more—a flash of cabbage purple.
I failed.