Chapter 15
15
He led her to the front of the SUV, leaned back against the hood and positioned her in front of him. For several seconds, she stared at the horizon, unable to determine which aspect of the gorgeous view needed her attention.
She started to turn.
He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Wait for it. It’ll happen any minute now.” His breath on her ear sent a shudder through her. One arm tightened around her as he raised the other to point at a spot between two mountains. “Keep your eyes on that spot.”
She did. Less than a minute later, the setting sun dropped into it, splashing the snow-capped mountains in silver and orange flames. Slowly, the color spread over the valley and across the city. The scene was so spectacular, so breathtaking, she clasped her hands over her mouth in wonder.
They stood like that for several minutes, until the sun disappeared behind the mountains.
“My God, that was beyond beautiful.”
“Yes,” he breathed. “It was.” The simple agreement made her glance at him. There was a quiet joy in his face as he stared at the view, but there was also a tinge of sadness and pain in his eyes that made her stomach dip alarmingly.
“You really love being here, but this place also makes you sad,” she observed quietly. “Why is that, Zach?”
He immediately stiffened. His arm started to drop but she grasped it and held on.
“Talk to me, Zach. Please. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”
His jaw tightened. “Did it occur to you that I don’t need your help? I told you from the start, there’s nothing important enough to impact what happens between us.”
“But this is important, don’t you see? I can’t see your pain and just ignore it. Just as I can’t ignore the fact that even though you didn’t want to get on The Indigo Lounge plane, you went ahead and joined the trip anyway. Call me presumptuous, but I think you did that because of me?—”
“Yes, I did.”
She turned fully in his arms. “But why? What happened? The Indigo Lounge is one of the most successful business ventures of this decade, and yet you’ve had very little to do with it since its inception.”
“I employ highly paid and highly motivated people?—”
“Don’t give me the company line, Zach. I’m not stupid. There’s something about this place that has a hold on you, same as with The Indigo Lounge. You don’t have to tell me, but please don’t deny that it impacts what’s happening between us.”
“And what do you think is happening between us?”
“You give and expect me to take without giving back. I’m not wired that way. I need to know that I can give you something worthy in return.”
“You do.”
She sighed. “I’m not talking about sex, Zach.”
“Neither am I.” His eyes darkened in the fading light. She held her breath and waited. “Being with you… it helps me,” he stated quietly.
Her heart leapt. “Helps you… with what?”
“It just helps, Bethany. Can’t we leave it at that?” he whispered fiercely.
She started to shake her head and caught sight of Philip, sitting behind the wheel, his face averted from them, trying to be discreet. But there was no doubt the driver had witnessed their argument.
A glance at Zach told her he knew it too, but there was no hint of embarrassment on his face. It made her wonder just how well Philip knew his boss and how many times he’d had to avert his gaze like this. “I know next to nothing about you, Zach. That has to change.”
Grey eyes narrowed. “Is that an ultimatum?”
“It’s a simple truth. The sex is great. But I need more. Much more, or this won’t work for either of us in the long run.” She stopped and swallowed. “Or maybe there won’t be a long run for us.”
“Bethany…”
“I’m not demanding. Hell, I was the girlfriend who was so trusting and oblivious to what her boyfriend was up to that he had to spell it out, remember? But today you called me brave. You helped me to take hold of my fear and crush it. All I’m asking is that you think about doing the same.”
“And if I don’t?”
It took a surprising amount of effort just to shrug. “I can’t answer that. I’m not an expert on relationships. But I know I won’t be content to live in a vacuum forever.”
He remained silent for a very long time. Then he nodded. “Understood.”
They travelled back home in silence. But all through the journey, his arms surrounded her, with her head tucked under his chin. The furtive glances she cast his way showed his face shadowed with myriad expressions she couldn’t decipher.
Whatever demons Zach Savage possessed were raging full force. And although it hurt to think she’d been the one to bring them out in the open, she was glad he wasn’t brushing them away. His chest lifted and fell in a jagged shudder as they drove through the gates of his house.
Her fingers fisted in his shirt as she felt his pain. Lacing his fingers through hers, he led them into the house but stopped in the large foyer.
“I need to make some calls. I’ve neglected a few things since we’ve been here. I’ll catch up with you in a few hours?”
Her heart sank. “Oh, okay,” she murmured.
“If you’re hungry, just dial the kitchen. They’ll rustle up something for you.”
She tried to smile despite the vice tightening around her heart. Zach was in full retreat mode. He had no intention of confronting his demons. At least not today. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
He pulled her to him and planted a hard kiss on her parted lips. Heat immediately engulfed her, but he strode away toward his study.
She stood there, her fingers touching her tingling mouth as he shut the study door behind him. For the first time since she’d met him, Zach had actively, willingly retreated from her.
Trepidation welled up in her gut and grew with each passing second.
Perspective. You need perspective, girl .
Whirling, she flew up the stairs and headed for their suite. Going to her side of the bed, she sank down and grabbed her phone.
Keely answered on the third ring. “Hey, Peaches.”
Bethany grimaced. “If I told you I’m terrified of losing a man I barely knew a week ago, would you call me crazy?”
“Nope. I live in constant fear of losing men I’ve never even met, never mind fucked yet.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m serious, Keel.”
A sympathetic sigh echoed down the line. “I know, baby girl. I knew it when we spoke last week. Casual relationships aren’t your thing. Was I hoping you’d somehow make an exception this time? Probably. And I most definitely wasn’t counting on your no-strings guy being Zachary Savage himself. So I’ve kinda been waiting for this call.” Keely’s voice oozed sympathy.
“What should I do? He… he won’t talk to me.”
“You need to find a way to make him.”
“I’ve tried every way I know how.”
“Then try something else. Something that’s guaranteed to get his attention. Go for broke, or chalk it up to experience and come home before the hurt gets worse.”
Bethany kicked her shoes off and slid into bed. Rubbing her foot on the luxurious coverlet, she sucked in a slow breath. “The only thing that gets his attention is sex.” The realization made something in her chest hurt. She rubbed absent-mindedly at the spot just beneath her breastbone and gripped the phone harder.
“Are you sure? You’ve got him hooked enough for him to send a total stranger flowers and champagne. That might be a billionaire thing to do, but it’s certainly not a casual billionaire thing, especially from a guy who values his privacy the way Savage does.”
“I don’t want to hope, Keel. I’m scared I’ll get hurt again.”
“That makes total sense. But isn’t it better to get hurt now than further down the line when you’re even more invested?”
Although she agreed with Keely, Bethany didn’t want to admit either scenario.
“And remember, there’s absolutely nothing stopping you from getting on a plane and coming home now.”
That particular thought made her insides twist with panic and fear. “I don’t think I can.”
Keely stayed silent for several heartbeats. “Then do what Aunt Keely thoroughly recommends. Go for broke.”
Go for broke. Could she do it? And if she couldn’t, was she prepared to live with the alternative: that she hadn’t tried at all? A shiver of apprehension washed over her. Relaxing deeper into the bed, she turned her face into Zach’s pillow and inhaled his familiar heady scent. The idea of never smelling him like this again caused her heart to plummet. Seizing the opportunity to change the subject, she smiled. “Speaking of aunts, how’s Auntie Mel doing?”
“She can make a miraculous recovery tomorrow. Or she can get worse. You tell me which you want it to be, and I’ll make it happen.”
Crap. Keely was too clever by half sometimes. Bethany had called because she needed perspective. Keely was holding up the mirror far too effectively, and Bethany had no choice but to confront what lay ahead.
She bit her lip and passed her free hand over Zach’s pillow. She recalled the flash of pain she’d seen in his eyes and her resolve firmed.
“I think Aunt Mel needs to be sick for just a little bit longer.”
“That’s my girl. Go show him what you’re made of.”
She didn’t get a chance to. Not that night. Because once she’d undressed and brushed her teeth, she decided to call her parents. Being vague as to when she would return took more mental dexterity than she’d bargained for. Drained after the call, she pulled Zach’s pillow toward her and wrapped her arms round it.
Within minutes, she was asleep.
* * *
She woke alone the next morning. Zach’s side of the bed was cold and looked hardly slept in.
Her heart slammed with fresh panic. Tossing the sheet aside, she pulled on the T-shirt he’d discarded. Having his scent engulf her made her feel a little better, but it also brought home to her just how important Zach Savage had become to her.
Leaving the suite, she went downstairs and headed for his study. The door was ajar. She pushed it open.
He sat behind a massive roll top desk, his fingers flying over his laptop keyboard. The intensely focused look on his face made her pause.
“Morning, Peaches,” he greeted her softly without looking up.
The greeting raised her mood a notch, and she breathed a little easier than she had a minute ago. But the ache didn’t totally subside. She moved forward and sank into the seat across his desk.
“You wear reading glasses?” Heck, even they were sexy. Black, narrow square rims framed his eyes perfectly and increased his sexiness by at least another thousand degrees.
He stopped typing and looked up. Grey eyes speared hers. Seeing the familiar hunger in them gave her another tiny boost of confidence. Whatever was going on, sex was still very much a live and potent thing between them. “Why does that surprise you?” he asked.
“Because you’re inhuman everywhere else. You fuck me like you can fuck forever?—”
“I can,” he stated with no hint of arrogance.
A tingle started deep in her belly. “But you need glasses to read words on a page?”
He smiled as he plucked them off his face. But when his eyes met hers, they were intensely serious. “My eyes may not be perfect, but when you’re in my presence all I see is you, Bethany. Only you. And when it comes to you, my vision is fucking twenty-twenty.”
Jesus.
How could he say things like that to her and yet not let her in? “You were gone when I woke up.”
“You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You were tired after yesterday. I didn’t think it was fair to disturb you.”
She nodded, and her eyes flicked to his laptop. “And now I’m disturbing you. You looked so serious just now.”
“I was trying to get stuff done before you woke up.”
“Why?”
He toyed with the handles of his glasses. “Because I want to devote today to what makes you happy.” His words, like so many before, spoken without guile or adornment, stunned her. He was making her seriously fall for him.
Hell, who was she kidding? She had fallen hard. She had fallen fast, and there would be no turning back. No matter the consequences. No matter that she knew her heart would break in a billion tiny pieces in the end.
Go for broke . “The only way you can make me unhappy is if you push me away,” she said boldly.
His eyes darkened. “I’ll try and do better,” he said.
Bethany’s heart stuttered. Considering she’d expected a firm rejection, this was a step forward. It wasn’t a huge step, but it would have to do for now. “That’s all I ask. Thank you.”
He nodded, but his eyes remained solemn, watchful, as if he was expecting something else.
“What?” she asked.
“You were on the phone for a while last night.”
She didn’t miss the veiled question. “Yep.”
“Everything okay?”
“My Aunt Mel is still sick.”
Concern immediately clouded his eyes. He dropped his glasses and rounded the desk to crouch in front of her. “Baby, why didn’t you say something?”
She tried to keep a straight face but silent laughter shook her shoulders, escalating when she saw Zach’s puzzled look. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t really laugh.” She explained the Aunt Mel situation and watched his eyes widen.
“Remind me never to cross your friend.”
Her laughter subsided. “Yeah, she can be a bit of a pit bull when the mood takes her.”
“I’m glad she’s been watching out for you.” His hand gripped her bare calves in a firm caress then moved up her legs to her knees.
Her breath caught. “You say that like it’s a thing of the past.”
His hands slid up her thighs and massaged gently. “I’d love to take an active role in watching out for you now.”
Again, emotion sucker-punched her. “It’s a two-way street, Zach.”
He nodded. “You want to level the playing field a bit. I understand that. And I’ll make every effort to reciprocate.”
Unable to resist touching him, since it felt like a lifetime since she’d last done so, she raised her hand and slowly slid her fingers through his hair. “I’m glad.”
They stayed like that for several minutes. Sure, expert hands slowly parted her thighs and stroked higher. “How do you feel?”
“Physically or emotionally?”
Wariness crept into his eyes, but he didn’t withdraw from her. “Either. You can tell me whatever you want, Bethany. You know that.”
“Okay. I was… upset when I woke and you weren’t there.”
“I told you?—”
“I know what you said, but that’s how I felt. And after what happened yesterday, I guess I’m a little… emotional about everything.”
“How can I make you feel better?” he asked.
Her fingers drifted over his ear and touched just beneath his earlobe. His tiny hiss gave an indication of his own state of mind. “Having you this close helps.”
“Then I’m not going anywhere, Peaches.”
“God, Zach. Is it wrong that I’m this greedy for you?” she whispered raggedly.
“Hell, no. If I wanted you any more than I do, I’d have to be carted off in a fucking straitjacket.”
His fingers glided higher and touched her outer sex. They both groaned as sensation of a different nature altered the mood.
“Is that my T-shirt you’re wearing, baby?”
She nodded jerkily. His thumb moving up and down her clit made forming words impossible.
“Hmm, I feel a sudden chill coming on. I think I want it back.”
Her pout drew his gaze to her mouth. Slowly, she licked her lip and watched his nostrils flare. “What about me? Surely you don’t want me to catch a chill?”
“I’ll keep you warm,” he promised. “Now give it back.”
She caught the edges of the T-shirt, pulled it over her head and dropped it on the floor.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” His thumb continued to caress her, but he pulled back slightly. “Scoot to the edge of the seat for me.”
Anticipation thrummed through her as she complied. Bethany couldn’t believe it’d been barely twenty-four hours since they’d last made love. It felt like a lifetime.
She gripped the armrests as he parted her thighs wider and his head descended. The trail of kisses down her midriff had her gasping for breath.
Watching his pleasure as his mouth trailed lower was its own aphrodisiac. Hearing him groan as her skin quivered beneath his kisses got her even hotter.
Maybe there was something to this after all. Something that went beyond sex for him. No man could get this turned on purely by sex, could he?
Thoughts flew out of her head at the touch of his tongue against her clit. But a loud trill from his desk rudely interrupted her cry of pleasure.
He jerked then closed his eyes on a pithy curse.
“What?” she demanded hoarsely.
“I’m sorry. I forgot I arranged a videoconference call.”
The word “video” had her scrambling to locate the T-shirt.
“Relax, no one’s about to see you naked. That I can guarantee.” His gaze dropped to her wet sex, and he groaned.
“It’s okay,” she said, although okay was the last thing she felt right now.
“It’s not fucking okay. But since I arranged it, I have to show up.” Hard regret entered his eyes as she tugged the T-shirt into place. “Don’t go far. We have unfinished business.”