Chapter 8
Emma
“ R emind me to kill you later for only packing thongs!”
I smile and shout right back at Justice from my room, “Thank me after a man helps you take them off!” She’ll survive ninety minutes in jeans on a horse. I’m no better in leggings I had to buy in the gift shop. Trotting in leather pants is stylish but foolish. In my rush to get this trip ready, I did not pack accordingly. I don’t own a pair of jeans or leggings, and usually my closet is just fine for it.
Jay clowns me all the time for my wardrobe, but I am who I am. The same way she could be the face of Target, I love high fashion but draw the line. Yes, overpriced jeans are a thing, but I’ll be damned.
I pull my hair into a low ponytail and button the rest of my blouse to meet Justice in the living room. We head down to the back of the resort for our excursion.
Jay has been in pretty good spirits since speed dating last night. She and Terrence wished each other the best in an attempt to move on, one I doubt either will uphold. Some people are perfect matches, and these two are it.
What about your match?
I hold back a groan at my vagina pulsing from the reminder of last night and pop on my sunglasses.
“You okay?” Justice peeks at my profile on the way to our small group near the stables.
“Mm-hmm!” My answer is too bouncy for my personality. Jay is the chipper one, not me.
I called Miles full of shit when he told me he’d put me to bed. I wanted to even the score after our time in the red room. I’ve never came so fast from a hand job. It’s usually impossible for me, like licking your own elbow. The way Miles read me and commanded my body without breaking a sweat is shameful.
In the heat of passion and frustration, I challenged him to another go, away from curious eyes and the possibility of running into one of our best friends.
We put every toy in my bag to use.
Never once did Miles make me feel guilty for my “arsenal of power tools,” as he called them. He took digs at the men who’ve failed to bring me pleasure but never felt threatened putting my toys to work. I wouldn’t give a damn if he did have something to say. A healthy sex life doesn’t guarantee that the person I’m with will get the job done. Half the time, I’m directing men to my G-spot like I’m landing a damn 747.
Not Miles.
We spent the better part of three hours with my toys, taking breaks in between for drinks and snacks. Miles promised not to use his mouth or fingers, which I assumed would give me the advantage, but he made a liar out of me once again. A screamer and a squirter too.
By two a.m., Miles was ready to tap out, but then he switched up and used my rose. I creamed all over the damn thing, rode out the aftershock for twenty minutes, and fell asleep in a pool of my own sweat.
I had every chance to end our game and go upstairs to my suite, but I didn’t, and I don’t know what that says about Miles and how I feel when I’m with him.
Men like West are easy: flirt, fuck, and leave. There are no attachments, no second thoughts, and no feelings. Last night was different. I felt like staying, not because of the potential for more orgasms, but because I was comfortable.
I woke up alone. The other side of the bed remained untouched, like Miles didn’t sleep. Maybe he did, but not with me. I was back in my suite in time to grab lunch with Justice and push away all thoughts of him. It shouldn’t bother me that he left, but it does. More than I’d like to admit.
What happened is over. We got each other out of our systems, and now we can move on.
I focus on the valley and the snow glittering on tree branches through streams of sunlight. Justice and I receive our instructions and set off on a trail with our assigned horse. Mine is Meadow, a spotted Appaloosa with a fabulous mane, who guides us deeper into the valley under blue skies. It’s not uncommon for me to complain about recreational outdoor activities that don’t include a penis, but this is nice.
My annual girls’ trip with Justice is the extent of my vacations. I travel often for work, shuffling between fashion events, but I don’t take time for myself like I should.
A man in a red cap trots up to me. He’s handsome in a rugged Chris Evans way, which is funny considering I told Justice when we arrived that I would find a mountain man.
How things change.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I smile. I have no reason to be rude. Sunlight catches on his beard and the camel-colored hair peeking out of his cap. His blue eyes are the color of the sky, and he’s got a juicy lower lip and a crisp jawline.
Justice is farther back on the trail, grinning at me from ear to ear. Always the hopeless romantic.
“I’m Brian.”
“I’m—”
Not interested.
The thought summons a side-eye from Meadow, who’s wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Wish I knew.
I entertain a friendly conversation before letting Brian down easy. There’s no denying what I want, and it’s not him.
“You’re not going out?” Justice adjusts her shirt dress in the floor-length mirror in the living area. Her Tinker Bell shape is perfect and will look even better with my thigh-high boots she’s borrowing for a date.
A date.
My girl is going out with the instructor from horseback riding. Preston’s name sure as hell didn’t match his face or his body. He’s fine. Tall. Dark hair. Olive skin. Muscular frame. He doesn’t look like he works at the resort, certainly not outside.
I can’t place where I’ve seen him before. But I know I never fucked him, so that’s a plus.
“I’m staying in for once,” I say, propped against the pillows I piled together on the chaise lounge.
Justice’s hand stalls. She sets down her blush and faces me. “Are you sure everything is okay? You seem…different.”
“How so?” I rub the same spot on my throat where Miles held as he fucked me silly with one of my vibrators.
She shrugs. “I don’t know, like you have a lot on your mind. If you want me to stay in, I can—”
“No. I’m alright, Jay.” Our stare reflects decades worth of friendship. We tell each other everything, which has made these last few days difficult. How do I share what I feel when it confuses me?
“It must be serious if it’s got you tongue-tied.” Justice takes a seat on the chaise next to me. She curls her legs under her, rests her chin on her palm, and waits.
I can’t help but laugh at how different we are. Justice thrives on Full House moments that end in a hug. She feels better, and I break out in hives. It took time for me to open up to her. I don’t exactly come from a household with loving parents who emulated a support system that made me feel safe. I have that with Jay, whose knowing grin says she understands.
“Fine.” I throw up my hands and surrender to a conversation I’m not ready to have, with myself or her. My lower lip sinks between my teeth as I wonder how much to share. Miles and I have only had two interactions at this retreat. Two. The first was a coincidence. The second…the second has my mind scrambling to make sense of why this man is still in it. Intercourse wasn’t involved, and he already has me undone.
“Should we order wine?”
“There is someone who has me…unsettled.” I frown at the stars in her eyes and roll mine. “Keep whatever you’re about to say to yourself if it’s—”
“What if you find your soulmate here?”
“Cheesy,” I finish. I’m revoking her Hallmark subscription.
I stop Justice from jumping up and down and ranting about divine intervention and love written in the stars. “Why don’t we talk about your date, Lady Soulmate.”
Her face drops, releasing the smile once plastered across her cheeks. I open my mouth to apologize, but she cuts me off. “It’s okay, Em. I’m”—she takes a deep breath—“fine, or will be. Maybe you were right about marriage being a sham.”
“Jay.” She waves me off when I reach for her. “You don’t believe that.”
“I don’t know what I believe anymore, but I’m tired of being sad,” she whispers.
My heart doesn’t break easily, but watching my best friend stumble to pick herself up will do it. Justice’s marriage, while imperfect and full of its shortcomings, was one of the good ones—a hell of a lot better than the one my parents have. She and Terrence didn’t treat their love like a business transaction, only showing affection when the media is watching. I never understood how anyone could stay comfortably miserable. There isn’t enough money or power for me to sacrifice my happiness.
I take a page from Justice and pull her into a hug. One date is harmless, unless Preston the Mysterious turns out to be Preston the Jerk. I’ll dissolve his body in acid if he disrespects her.
“Who’s the Sister, Sister now?” Justice sniffles and squeezes tighter.
“Hush,” I laugh. “Enjoy your date, but don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”
“Okay. Em?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t hide yourself if you like someone here. Staying in our suite with room service doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
We snicker.
“Be safe tonight and have fun,” I say.
“Love you.”
“Love you back.”