7. SEVEN
SEVEN
Natalia
I stride into the house without looking back, spine straight and hips swinging, in total contrast to the pounding of my heart and my sweating palms after what I just pulled.
Did I read that right? I only caught the end of the interaction and Colton’s desperate look before something fiercely protective—and yeah just a little bit territorial—came over me, and I started acting on automatic.
Why am I getting territorial over Colton?
I tell myself that, despite only knowing each other for such a short time, it’s just because he’s so sweet and caring that I’ve quickly grown fond of him and Jayden.
And I did not like the way he was looking at that perra like he was hating every second of the interaction but didn’t feel like he could do anything to stop it without hurting or scaring her.
He’s so careful despite his size, or maybe because of it. I’ve watched the way he handles Jayden like his son is made of glass. Somehow I just knew.
Or I thought I did, but now I’m inside and he’s still standing out on the porch, giving me too much time to wonder if I got it wrong.
Mierda.
I ignore the way my lips tingle with awareness of the way it felt to kiss him, the heat and the rich scent of him that filled my senses up close like that.
I definitely took things too far. The little voice at the back of my mind that sounds remarkably like my cousin Elisa, is screaming that I didn’t take them far enough, but I ignore her.
I’m relieved when I hear the door shut behind me and turn, composing myself as I brush off the front of my gym shorts needlessly. “Hey, ah… listen. I hope—”
I break off because he’s standing far closer than we’ve ever stood before just to talk, and for some reason the fresh, rich scent of him is doing strange things to my insides.
“You—I—that was…” He laughs, shifting Jayden to his other arm and reaching out as if he wants to touch my cheek or my hair.
At the last moment I step back and his hand falls to his side.
“Sorry. I hope I didn’t play that wrong. I got the feeling she was bothering you.”
“Right. Siobhan. Yeah, she has been stalking me on and off for about three months. I thought I’d gotten rid of her. It was quite a shock to have her turn up here. You were amazing.”
“Thanks.”
There’s a pause where neither of us says anything, and I repeat the kiss over and over in my head, berating myself for doing something so reckless.
Colton’s voice is low and gravelly when he speaks next. “That was some kiss.”
I try to keep my expression neutral when, in reality, a riot of emotions is skating across my heart.
I’m strangely elated to have someone talk about kissing me like that, relieved he felt it too, and so, so guilty for leading him on if I’ve made him think it was something it’s not.
“Colton, I hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression. It was only pretend.”
“Right. Yeah. I knew that.” I watch his face fall and silently curse myself. He sighs. “I’m gonna go change Jayden’s diaper and then I’d better head off for training.”
“Right.”
While he’s out, the afternoon drags while I have plenty of time to worry that I’ve somehow fucked this up. I spend it anxiety cleaning, which is not really part of my job description, but I can’t help it.
I’ve just finished wiping down the spotless kitchen when I hear Colton’s key in the door. All my nervous thoughts collect into a knot of anxiety in my throat.
As soon as the door opens I start talking. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable this morning or ruin your interview. I hope I didn’t overstep.”
Colton freezes. His jaw drops open, and he drops his training bag on the porch and sweeps his other hand out from behind his back, revealing a giant bunch of flowers. “Overstep? Natalia, you saved my hide! Again! It was me who nearly—”
I burst into nervous laughter, and yeah, that flutter in my chest is back again as he hands me the flowers.
“The florist assured me these were right for a thank you and not romantic or anything like that because I would never dream…”
“Right,” I say quickly. “It just looked like you could use some help.” To cover whatever crazy emotions I’m feeling, I pick up Jayden’s monitor and switch it on, smiling at the sight of him starting to stretch and yawn.
“Oh hey, you got him down for another nap?”
“Yeah, but I think he’s just waking up now. Perfect timing.”
Colton shakes his head. “You are so good at this. I mean I don’t know why I’m surprised. Of course you are.”
I’m relieved things aren’t going to be awkward and he’s not annoyed at me, but as he heads for a shower and I try to find something to put the flowers in, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been acting.
How ridiculous! I’m on the rebound from Miguel and looking for something to latch onto.
That’s all this is. I need to act like the grown-ass woman I am and learn to stand on my own feet instead of rushing into something that would never work.
I mean Colton and I are from two different worlds.
Besides, Colton and Miguel are cut from the same cloth.
They’re both ready to start a family, something I’ll never be able to give any guy.
I might as well face it; who would want me now?
Even if Miguel could have been happy without children, the pressure from our families alone would have been enough to implode our relationship eventually.
You don’t understand family expectations until you’ve been around a big Mexican family at special events.
I wouldn’t be that surprised if my parents want to keep Miguel in the split when they find out my secret.
In danger of becoming morose, I dash the last of my cold tea into the sink and head to Jayden’s room.
The perfect thing about working with babies is they don’t judge you the way grownups do.
As long as you’re there for them when they’re crying or hungry or tired, they’ll love you for it, no matter whether you have working ovaries or not.
Jayden smiles when I lift him out of his crib.
I expect him to be hungry, but he turns his face away when I offer him the bottle, even though he fell asleep before he finished the midday one.
I see why Colton was worried. I’ll talk to him about trying a different formula.
Some babies are fussy about that. Perhaps that’s Jayden’s problem.
I set the flowers up on the nightstand in the guest bedroom and smile to myself.
I’ll have Jayden eating and sleeping well before he knows it, and I’ll be able to properly thank Colton for his generosity.
I really can’t believe how lovely he’s been, letting me stay here and helping me get Abuela’s house fixed up and all.
As if to emphasize that point, my phone buzzes with a message from Leroy: Got those tiles so I can make a start on the roof tomorrow. Should have it watertight in no time. Then we can talk about replacing the front door and the carpet and getting rid of that moldy smell.
I wish people were as easy to fix up as houses. Broken ovaries, broken engagement, broken dreams. I feel like I need a renovation.
I guess I’ll just have to muddle along until I figure out what single life looks like. Or until Elisa and Nico have kids and I can move in with them and take up my position as a doting auntie.
Somehow that thought brings me very little comfort, even though the thought of Elisa with a big, happy family has always been close to my heart. I’ve just always hoped we’d be raising our families together and our kids would be close like we were growing up.
But that’s not what fate has in store for me.