9. NINE
NINE
Colton
I like being able to open the passenger door of my car for Natalia after the game, and the way the combination of her scent and Jayden’s is starting to smell like home.
I shouldn’t like it quite as much as I do, but I don’t want to get in my head about it, so I turn the stereo on and try to just enjoy it.
There’s only one album I let myself listen to on game day, and the song that starts up from it is “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.”
Natalia laughs. “Old school.”
I laugh. “It’s a bit of a tradition for me on game day. Did you ever see that movie, Remember the Titans?”
“Yeah, I loved that movie.”
“Me too! I must have watched it fifty times. Anyway, on game day that’s the only thing I’ll listen to. Whether we win or lose.”
Her lips curve into a smile. “Because you treat every game the same way, win or lose?”
I nod.
“And because you’re cheesy as hell?” Her brow quirks in this hot as fuck little smirk, and I slap a hand over my heart in mock outrage.
“I resemble that remark.”
She laughs with her whole self. Her eyes crinkle and her smile stretches wide over pretty white teeth. Gods she’s beautiful when she laughs.
I pull out of the parking lot and onto the street, and for a moment I just tap my hands on the steering wheel along with the music, riding high on a crest of happiness.
As the chorus comes on, Natalia starts to sing along, and I have to sneak a look.
Damn. She has an amazing singing voice. Makes me glad I didn’t try to hum along because I would have sounded like a strangled chicken next to her.
Jayden burbles from his car seat in the back and I grin. It honestly doesn’t matter that Coach is pissy with me or that we lost again. Today I’m king of the world.
The next song that comes on is slower. I pull onto the highway and check my rearview mirror, still loving catching a glimpse of Jayden’s little face in the baby mirror I installed so I could keep an eye on him.
He looks back at me, all bright blue eyes and gummy smile, and I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather be right now.
“It was so lovely of your parents to invite me to dinner. Are you sure they won’t mind?”
“Are you kidding me? My mom would invite the whole team if I let her. She loves company. But I think she’s especially keen to get you alone.”
From the corner of my eye, I spot her smile. “Yeah, my mom would be the same.”
She hasn’t said much about her family. I wonder if I should ask her.
Before I can, she sighs. “Speaking of my family, I should call them, but I’m scared they’ll blame me. That they’ll be angry with me.”
Heart thumping in my chest, I ask softly, “You mean because of whatever brought you to Mosswood?”
She looks out the window, and I think for a moment she’s not going to answer. I won’t press her. Whatever it is, it can’t have been good. I know she’s trying to put on a brave face, but I can smell the sadness beneath her smiles.
When she speaks, her voice is a little rough at first. “The day before I came to Mosswood was supposed to be my wedding day.”
I’m so shocked it takes all my concentration not to run the car off the road. The tips of my fingers are suddenly like ice, and I’m breathing around a lump in my throat. “Y-your wedding day?”
“It was meant to be. But my fiancé messaged me on the morning of our wedding to say he couldn’t go through with it.”
“Oh, Natalia, I’m sorry.” And I feel like a prime asshole because even though I force the words out, what my heart is really doing is skipping along to the same happy tune as before, while also dancing and cartwheeling.
He couldn’t go through with it! Which means she’s definitely one-hundred-percent single.
And I’m a dick for being happy about that.
She nods, wiping under her eyes with a knuckle, and now I want to find this idiot and put my fist in his stomach. Imagine having this goddess of a woman and throwing it all away because—what? Because he was too scared to commit?
Natalia sniffs. “Yeah. You know the worst thing? I don’t blame him. Not really.”
My knuckles tighten on the wheel, and the leather protests with an angry squeak. “You’re too kind.”
She turns to me in surprise. “Oh he didn’t get cold feet. At least not in the way you think. Miguel wanted a family. I just can’t give that to him.”
I frown. “But you—” Then the penny drops. “Oh! Shit, you can’t have children?”
She shakes her head, and the way her lips are pressed into a thin line tells me everything about her tenuous control on her emotions right now.
I wish she’d feel comfortable to let go with me—let me comfort her—but I can hardly blame her for holding back.
When the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world walks away from you over something like that, how could you trust someone new to have your back?
“Natalia, that’s… that’s fucked up.” I squeeze my fists tight around the wheel again to stop from reaching over to stroke her thigh. I don’t need to be trampling down her boundaries at a time like this. “On your wedding day?”
She sniffs. “It is kinda fucked up, though, right?”
“Total horseshit!”
Her teary expression breaks into an incredulous smile. “You know what’s even worse? He still hasn’t called me. Or messaged or anything.”
I shake my head. “Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta say this guy sounds like he never deserved you.
Maybe you’ll look back on this as a blessing in disguise one day.
I’d sure like to say that fate has something better in store for someone as special as you.”“Awww. Thank you for saying that. You’re just so lovely.
I hope that you find your fated mate one day too.
When you do, she’ll be a lucky shifter!”
I want to say more. I want to ask what if the woman I’m meant to be with isn’t a shifter at all, which is why I haven’t found her yet, but one thing at a time.
Natalia has healing to do, and I can’t just stampede in and ignore what she just shared with me today.
So I keep my thoughts close to my chest for now.
There has to be a reason I’ve been obsessing over her scent, over the way she fits so right into my life.
After a while, I glance across at her. “Well I just feel lucky that fate brought you into our lives. Maybe you’ll find out Mosswood is where you were meant to be all along.”
She only gives me a sad smile, but I’m already thinking of ways I could cheer her up and help her forget all about that moron, Miguel.
It’s only once I get to my parents’ house that it occurs to me that maybe this is not the best place to be if Natalia is feeling emotionally sensitive.
You can always trust a bovine shifter to put their hoof in it.
So getting a whole family of us together is like a nuclear-level disaster waiting to happen.
I’m so distracted by Natalia’s revelation on the drive that I forget to warn her exactly what she’s in for when we arrive.
When we pull up in the drive, it takes us a minute to get Jayden and all his things, and by the time that’s done my parents have arrived. That’s when I realize I forgot to warn Natalia not to take them too seriously.
Natalia is holding Jayden while I unpack all the luggage that somehow seems to go with taking an infant anywhere. Let me tell you, I thought I was prepared for fatherhood, but I was not. All I can say is, it’s lucky I’m a strong bull!
The first thing Mom says is, “You look good holding a baby, Natalia.”
I groan inwardly. “Mom, I’m starving. Did you say something about a pot roast?”
She won’t let it drop, though. “Oh you can’t pause for a moment to compliment your friend?
” The way she says friend suggests she’s already forming ideas in her mind about my relationship with Natalia being more than it is, and I stumble into damage control.
“Mom, she looks like that all the time, OK?” And then I realize how that might sound.
“Ah, that is, she looks amazing all the time.” Damn it. Hoof. Mouth.
Natalia meets my gaze, cheeks coloring slightly. Jayden just burbles happily and tugs on a strand of her hair.
I steer everyone into the living room, telling myself for the hundredth time to be more chill.
“Is he putting on weight yet?” Mom calls from the kitchen as I get Natalia settled and take Jayden to lay him on the colorful mat my mom spread out for him.
“Well no, but the nurse says to keep trying. She says maybe once he starts on solids he’ll eat better.”
When Mom pokes her head around the dividing wall to the old, pokey kitchen her expression is outraged. “Solids! The calf is only two months old.”
I knew she would react like that. Bovine shifter culture is that a calf is fed exclusively milk for at least a year. Then again, bovine shifter milk is different. Special.
“What do you think of that?” Mom asks Natalia. “You said you’re a professional in childcare.”
Natalia glances between us for a moment. “Some babies are ready at four months, but they should be able to sit up unassisted.”
Mom scoffs. “Humans.”
I’m ready to charge in and try to rescue her from the situation, but instead of being offended, Natalia looks curious. “Do shifters raise babies differently?”
Mom beams, coming into the living room and sitting beside Natalia on the sofa, despite the fact that she’s still holding tongs in her hand and has her apron on. “Bovine shifters do. Yes.”
“So is Jayden a shifter as well?”
I jump in quickly before Mom can answer. “We don’t know yet. The surrogate had some shifter ancestry, but she was human. So maybe we do things the human way.”
Oblivious to my redirection, Mom continues. “Well it’s not too late. I’ve told you that. Proper milk will turn him if it’s given before age one.”
She means milk infused with the magic. We’ve been down this path before, when I first told her I wanted a baby.
She said I should hire a bovine wetnurse.
Trouble is, that’s harder than you’d think.
My family are the only bovine shifters in the area, and who wants to move to a small town like Mosswood to be a wetnurse to my kid?
“Oh, and have you found anyone who could feed him?”
Mom’s smile turns positively wicked. “Well, now. That’s an excellent question. Have we, Colton?”
I almost drop the toy I’m holding for Jayden on his face. “Mom!”
“What? It’s perfectly natural.”
Natalia’s brows furrow and she looks between us, no doubt wondering what on earth is going on.
The back of my neck feels hot, and my breath is heavy in my chest just thinking about what Mom is suggesting.
There is a magic that would make it possible for Natalia—or just about anyone—to breastfeed Jayden with the type of milk he needs. But it’s hardly the sort of thing you suggest to a woman you’ve only just met. An employee. Leroy’s words about Natalia being off limits ring in my ears.
Dad strolls in with his magazine and looks around the room and the awkward silence that’s fallen. “What? What did I do?”
“Not you, Gordon. I was just suggesting that Colton should milk Natalia so she can feed the baby.”
My jaw drops open, and I stare at her in disbelief. She didn’t.
Of course she fucking did.
Mom gives me a wicked little smile that says she knows exactly what she’s done and is not sorry about it.
“Oh!” Dad coughs awkwardly. “Well do you want us to go in the other room, son, and give you some privacy?”
Somebody kill me. Right now. Let me crawl into a nice deep hole outside and just cover me over.
My whole body is burning hot with embarrassment.
“She’s human! Can we please just try to have some chill?
” Natalia being human and new to much about the shifter world also means she doesn’t know the full extent of what my parents are blithely discussing, thankfully, but the milk comment is bad enough.
“Oh that doesn’t matter,” says Mom. “Your magic is strong.”
I drop my face into my hands. I give up on them. I honestly do.
Natalia clears her throat. “Um, will somebody tell me what is going on here?”
Mom looks all too ready to perform that duty, but I give her a glare she can’t ignore and stand from my position on the floor beside Jayden. “How about we step outside for a moment and I’ll explain. And for the record, I apologize in advance for this. For all of this.”