22. Millie
CHAPTER 22
Millie
T he last place I want to be right now is at the flower shop.
Every time the bell rings to let me know a customer is here, I have to fake a smile and pretend like everything is okay.
Except it’s not.
My mind won’t stop racing.
I’ve tried to make to-do list after to-do list to figure out what to do next, but I always crumple the page and throw it in the trash. Between the spring festival and the shop, and the uncovering of the state of Will’s record store, I’m overwhelmed.
At least there’s stock to put away today and flowers to organize. Will should be coming over at some point because we are going to take a trip to Florence’s family winery.
We are two months away from the spring festival, and it feels like we have nothing done. There are still so many things to check off, but they keep getting pushed to the back of my mind to make room for whatever is going on at the moment.
My phone buzzes while I’m putting away the latest ribbons with a reminder text from Mom about family dinner on Friday. She says to bring Will, of course .
Will would be there regardless of if I invited him or not.
He’s part of the Rose family, always has been. She likely texted him too, but Mom’s aware that we are both busy. Which reminds me, I wanted to ask her if she knows of anyone else who would work for me part-time.
If I could get a little help over the coming weeks, that would take the load off of planning this event. And I know Will wouldn’t take my assistance, but there’s got to be something I can do to help the record store. It’s not his fault things are terrible, and he’s not one to normally ask for help.
Will’s not one for confrontation and will use his mouth to distract me.
The door dings again, and I’m ready to greet the person coming in, except this time it’s Will walking through my door. When I left him this morning, he was shirtless and lying in bed. He said his goodbye with his signature smirk. It was harder than I’d like to admit to walk out that door.
“Hi,” Will says as he comes around the counter and kisses my cheek.
“Oh, hello, hi.” I stumble over my words.
He shrugs. “I missed you.”
His words are a shock to my core, as he says them so effortlessly. We’ve taken this fake-dating scheme and turned it into something that’s not so fake. It’s not like we’re trying to convince anyone Will’s taken right now. There’s no one here besides him.
“You’ve only been without me for a few hours,” I say.
“That’s too long.” Will wraps his arms around me and tugs me close to him, squeezing me tight as to not let me go. “Go on a date with me this weekend.”
“What?” I ask. I lean back to get a better view of his face, to try and see if he’s joking. “A real date? Not for show?”
He brings a finger to tuck a loose strand of hair around my ear. “I didn’t presume we were doing anything for show anymore.”
“I didn’t know what we were doing. ”
“It’s obvious, love.”
“This scares me,” I whisper.
“Why?”
“Because you’re you , Will. What about the shop?”
“What do you mean? What about it?” His brows furrow in frustration.
I snake my arms out of his hold and gently push him away.
“Do you plan to stay here?” I have the courage to ask.
“I—I don’t know, Millie.” He rubs the stubble on his jaw. “I’m trying to find a way out with the store, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to not do things with you.” He reaches for my hands and clasps them together. “It’s a date. One date. I want to take you out. Let me.”
“You know, this is what you said about the kiss and the fake dating and look at what happened…” I trail off. “I’ll say yes, but know that this doesn’t mean we are dating. Okay? I can’t tell myself that.”
“Okay,” he whispers and leans his forehead on mine.
It’s the fact that we both haven’t acknowledged this is real that keeps the small line drawn. My heart will still break when he leaves, but it won’t be as bad as if I allowed myself to give in and accept him as mine.
The front door dings. I pull myself away from Will to find Kira walking into the shop with some other girl I don’t know. Her eyes meet mine for the briefest moment, before going to Will, then to the display of flowers on the left.
Will pulls my jaw back to him. “Don’t let her overshadow what this is.”
I’m about to ask what he means when he steals a kiss. It’s short, but with it, I know he’s saying a thousand words he can’t voice. “I’ll pick you up in two hours to go to the winery, okay?”
“Okay.”
Kira waves to Will as he leaves. It takes everything in me not to yell across the room that he is mine. She’s conveniently here at the same time as him, and the last thing I want to do right now is talk to her. I wish she’d move on and move out.
“This all?” I ask as she and her friend bring a bouquet to the counter.
“Yes, it is.” She smiles, but it’s the kind of smile that makes you want to punch her in the face. “You two are cozy.”
Why is she trying to make small talk?
“We are,” I respond, not wanting to divulge any information to her that isn’t necessary.
She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t need to, and I’m glad when she decides to turn and walk out the door. Kira might be the reason why Will kissed me in the closet, but it would have happened eventually.
It might have taken longer, but it’s where Will and I always end up whenever he’s single and in town. I always tell myself that this time it won’t happen. But I can’t resist when he smiles at me and flirts and touches my arm in a way that tells me he’s waiting for me.
For the rest of the day I try my best to ignore the thoughts swirling around my head.
When that doesn’t work, I write out what needs to be done.
Because if I love one thing, it’s a task list. At least that tells me what I need to figure out before I close the store today.
I’m behind on inquiries for the spring because whenever I make time to respond, I’m reminded that I have to do something else, like inventory. Or ordering that vase for some random event. Or the billion other things that invade my mind at any given point.
It’s why I need lists. Without a list, I’m doomed to forget it, regardless how big the item might be.
What’s top of mind?
The spring festival.
I grab my computer, opening the list we started the other day. I got a lot of work done for the event yesterday at the coffee shop, but there’s a ton of little things I know I’m forgetting. For example, I need to finalize decorations. I’ll ask Miss Jane if there are pictures from last year's event.
The spring festival is more meant to celebrate the town, and sure, some city people come to town, but not enough that we need to list it on a larger event page. From what I can tell, it has enough organic attraction of its own. But it wouldn’t hurt to have more publicity.
Next, there’s talking to Mom about the store. It would be nice to find people I can rely on who could man the register or help with events. Learning to trust those people to do it alone would take time, but having extra hands would be enough help in itself. The summer is busier than the spring. I don’t want to risk having to turn away business because I’m too stubborn to accept help.
It may take me a while to come to trust someone to represent the business without me, but I want to try.
I need to try.
After that, assuming Mom knows someone, I can worry about the event. And Will. Speaking of the devil, his car pulls in front of the store window and he honks two times.
I wave and hold a finger in the air, and once he gives me a thumbs up, I head to the back room to quickly put a few things away. We weren’t busy today, so I mostly make sure nothing is out of place before I grab my coat and keys and walk to the front door. I turn the sign to closed and lock the door after I leave, smiling at how the front window display looks. There are splashes of pink and yellow to signify spring is coming, and I’ve taken the time to doodle some growing flowers on the windows.
Which reminds me…
I pause for a moment longer and pull my phone out of my pocket. I left my notebook inside the store, so I write my idea to brainstorm hosting a few classes for those that may want to plant their own garden. I would love to source more flowers locally if anyone was interested in using their land to help me grow flowers.
“Everything okay?” Will asks from behind me.
When I turn around, Will is leaning over the center console, talking to me out of the now-open passenger side window.
“I’m thinking about hosting a class for growing flowers.” I slip my phone back into my pocket and get into the truck with Will. “I don’t know if I’ll have time this year. But I said the same thing last year, and I want to stop doing that.”
“Stop doing what?” Will asks.
He looks behind him first, then pulls out from the curb and onto the main road. It will take us thirty minutes to drive to Florence’s family winery. I don’t mind the time to chat though. I thought about bringing my notebook, but I wanted this visit to be casual. If Flo’s parents want to donate wine or host a table, I want them to offer first before I send out emails requesting items from those that might not have.
“Putting myself last?” I cringe as I say it, but it’s true. I love my job. Being able to craft bouquets for so many different people and events is incredible. Having people tell me they love my work makes me cry every time. But do you want to know what else makes me cry? Feeling overwhelmed and stressed twenty-four seven. Not having time to grab dinner randomly with my girls.
“You shouldn’t say that like it’s a bad thing, Mills. You should put yourself first, you know. Without you, there would be no Rose & Ivy. If you take care of yourself, everything else will fall into place.”
“Who are you?” I chuckle. “That’s awfully wise. You should, um, do that too.” My voice is a whisper as I say the last sentence, realizing I should have kept that to myself. I clasp my hands in my lap and gaze out the window to avoid any glare from Will, but he places a hand on my leg and squeezes.
When my eyes find him, his expression is nothing but understanding. My hand covers his and I squeeze back, not speaking to show him we are in this together, but showing him by simply being here.
For the few moments when his thumb runs over my thigh, I’m calm. My thoughts disappear, and all that fills the silence are the birds flying back for better weather and the static from the radio station.
“For what it’s worth, I’m here for you, Millie. Whatever you want to do, I’ll do my best to be by your side. You want to go all in on events? I’m game. You want to close the flower shop more often? I encourage it. But if you want me to tell you that you can do it all…I can’t do that. You’re strong. And so capable. But you’re also missing out on so much by working yourself to the bone. And I’ve seen how exhausted you are.”
“I know…” I whisper. “I’m trying, you know? It’s not easy.”
He scoffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Boy, do I know that. If it was, the record shop wouldn’t be going bankrupt.”
It’s like water being dumped over my head. I’m brought back to reality and reminded Will is leaving. Not right now, but he will. So, he may be here for me right now, but unless he changes his mind and decides to fight for the store, or at least fight for us, I need to keep a wall around my heart.