Chapter 2
Leia had thought her pain couldn’t get any worse.
She’d really imagined, considering her own circumstances, that the single most heart-ripping news she could face was that the man she loved was about to have a child with another woman.
Until she’d caught a glimpse of Noah’s reaction to the news of his impending fatherhood.
She was dead certain he hadn’t even realized the naked emotion emblazoned on his face a split second after Ashley had told him about the baby.
Wonder and elation.
It had dissipated very quickly, of course. The circumstances were nothing if not fucked up.
Now, the combination of shock and confusion had rendered his normally vibrant skin sickly grey. His brows clamped together. His hands trembled before he tightened his hold on her.
“You’re leaving me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Even before I verify there’s any truth to what that bitch is saying, you’re leaving? And what the hell do you mean by competing? ”
“You know it’s the right thing for me to do, Noah,” she forced out through her pain.
He stepped back, unclamping his hands from her arm. “No, I fucking don’t. All I know is that a few short hours after promising me you wouldn’t, you’re running again.”
“Don’t say that. Please.”
“Please? Then tell me what it is you’re doing.
I’m seriously confused, Leia. Enlighten me in plain fucking English so I get that you’re not walking away from me because I’m…
I’m…” His jaws clenched tight and he closed his eyes.
Shoving a hand through his hair, he breathed in deep.
“I may not have known you for a long time, but I know you’re not walking away because of this. So tell me, what the hell is it?”
She opened her mouth to remind him that she was only half a woman, that what her stepfather had done to her had damaged more than her spirit, but the pain shredding her heart stopped her.
She shook her head. “I deluded myself into thinking that we could make this work. God, I don’t know what I was thinking.
My last relationship was just before I turned seventeen, Noah.
And I can’t even call that a proper relationship.
I was little more than a spoiled teenager with a rebellious streak, testing my boundaries.
I had no idea what I was doing then. And this…
this is way more than I can deal with. I’m going to fuck it up for you. You have to let me go.”
“You want to be able to pick and choose your battles, is that it? To retreat from the world the way you’ve done for the last five years and only come out when you think it’s safe and comfortable?” he grated at her.
A cold shiver chased down her spine. “Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I standing here fighting for you instead of letting you chicken out and walk away? Is that what you’re seriously asking me?”
She crossed her arms over her midriff, desperately wanting to cling to the ‘fighting for you’ part.
Letting Noah take control, convince her that walking away wasn’t the right thing to do, was the one thing she wanted more than breathing.
She’d woken up this morning happier than she’d ever been in her life.
She placed sole responsibility of that happiness at Noah’s feet.
The thought that in the future he could find her lacking was more than she could bear. And once the dust settled, he would remember just how fucked up she was. Remember how inadequate she was compared to the woman he needed. She couldn’t do that to him.
“You know she’s telling the truth. I saw your face. You haven’t seen each other in two years, but you know her. Whatever she’s done, you know she’s not lying about this.”
His face tightened. He nodded even though his eyes held nothing but condemnation. “And what’s about to happen to me several months from now is a deal-breaker for you? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t want my presence to confuse the issue. Whatever decision you make, can’t… shouldn’t include me.” She realized how wrong her words sounded the moment she said them. “I’m sorry, I meant?—”
“It’s fine. I get it.” His voice held cold, bleak acceptance. Its roughness tore at her bleeding heart. “Things are a little too messed up for you.”
“No! I mean yes, they are, but I’m doing this for you, Noah.”
“Like hell you are!” He gestured indoors to the two people seated out of sight. “He tells you to jump, and you can’t wait to ask how high! ”
“Warren has nothing to do with this,” she shouted. “Credit me with knowing my own damn mind.”
He seized her nape, forced her gaze upward to meet his. “If he’s got nothing to do with this—with us—then stay. God, baby, did last night mean nothing to you?”
Memory slammed into her, making her tremble. “Of course it did. This isn’t easy for me.”
“But you’re doing it anyway. Do you really have so little faith in us?” he demanded gruffly, sliding his thumb back and forth over the short hairs above her ear. She knew he loved that patch of shaved hair. He’d been fascinated with it from the moment they met.
God, had it only been a handful of days that she’d walked into the Indigo Lounge’s Ozone Bar and seen him for the first time?
She wasn’t ashamed to admit Noah King had become her whole world in a stupidly short time.
And now, she had to walk away.
Tears prickled her eyes. Once she left this place she wouldn’t feel his touch ever again.
The knowledge slashed her in two. She clung to the wrist that brushed her jaw, treasuring the moment before she had to let him go.
When her long nails dug into his flesh, his blue eyes darkened.
Unable to speak because everything seemed to come out wrong, she dug in deeper.
His soft hiss was music to her ears. He stepped closer, his fingers tightening.
Just for a moment longer, she wanted to enjoy this, wanted to bask in their unparalleled passion for each other.
His thumb caressed the curve of her ear, traced her jaw to the corner of her mouth.
Her lips parted, and he slid his thumb in.
She sucked him slowly, absorbing his texture and the emotions that flitted over his face.
He still looked pale and haggard, but the blood was surging into his cheeks again and his breathing was growing shallow.
His other hand curved over her waist to grip her ass.
With a single step they were back against the wall, his body pressing down on hers.
She sucked eagerly on his thumb, her diamond tongue stud abrading the pad of his digit the way she knew made him wild.
His cock thickened against her stomach, its branding unmistakably possessive as his heartbeat hammered against hers.
He kissed the side of her mouth, his tongue licking at the point where her lips wrapped around his thumb. “I’m not ashamed to beg, Leia,” he whispered. “I need you. Don’t leave me, baby. Whatever the fuck’s going on, we’ll work our way through it.”
She wavered. Maybe they could work their way through this. Maybe she could even work her mind past the fact that he’d spent time behind bars. That was something else she’d have to deal with. But it didn’t compare to the fact that another woman was having his baby.
He pulled his thumb from her mouth and replaced it with his lips. Their kiss was incandescent as Noah mercilessly reminded her of their incredible chemistry. As if she needed reminding. Too soon, he let her up for air.
She tried to gather her scattered thoughts. “Noah…”
“You can have this, sweetheart. So many nights and days of this. Don’t you want that?
My cock inside your tight, beautiful body?
” His hand slid from her ass to wedge between her legs.
Subtly applied pressure had her shuddering and suppressing a groan.
“I’ll take care of you, baby. Worship you day and night.
No matter what. You’re the most important thing to me.
Don’t fucking walk away from me now. Please. ”
The sound of the door sliding back registered at the edge of her consciousness. Half of her was relieved at the intrusion, even as the other half crumbled in inevitable dread.
“Leia.”
Warren’s voice made Noah freeze. His whole body went rigid beneath the hand she’d clamped around his waist in the heat of their kiss.
She stared into his eyes. The ruthless lover she’d grown to love was very much present.
But so was the vulnerable guy who was floundering in the wake of shocking news.
She wanted to hold him to her. But that would prolong the agony for them both.
Because she wasn’t what he needed. He needed a woman who wasn’t broken beyond repair.
A woman who wasn’t at this very moment existing in fear of her life from her stepfather’s threats.
“I… I’ll be right there, Warren.”
Noah’s face froze into a mask of pure frost. The mouth that had kissed her so hungrily and reverently moments ago thinned into a formidable line. His hand slid from between her thighs and the grip on her neck disappeared between one breath and the next. When he spoke, his voice was blade sharp.
“You have exactly one minute. That’s as long as I’ll hold myself in check.
I’m not a violent guy, Leia. Despite your complete lack of faith in me, I hope you know that.
But if you’re not out of here in the next sixty seconds…
the doors get locked, the ropes come out, and you get a taste of how much of a monster I can be.
I’ll destroy you before I watch you leave with that asshole, Leia. Trust me on that.”
Unable to speak in the presence of his arctic-cold anger, Leia jerked out a nod.
He stepped back, stared down at her for another few seconds, then turned away. She knew the threat was real, that she’d wounded him badly. But she couldn’t move. Her feet remained caked in heart-wrenching fear and regret.
“Leia.”
She turned sharply toward Warren, her nostrils flaring in an effort to stem the hot, scalding tears that surged.
When she finally managed to get her feet moving, Warren held out a hand to her. She ignored it, just as she ignored the sharp reproach in his eyes.
He could go to hell. He, Ashley, her stepfather and the whole fucking world could go to hell. Her heart was hammering itself out of existence because she was choosing to be fucking noble. To do the right thing.
She swallowed a hysterical laugh and stumbled into the sun-splashed living room.
Ashley sat exactly where they had left her ten minutes ago, not a single hair out of place. She glanced at Leia and a small triumphant smile played at her lips. Leia’s fingers itched to slap the look off her face.
“You think you’ve won him back? Newsflash, bitch, all you’ve done is mess up both your lives. Even if he stays with you, it will be out of pity.”
“Is that why you’re running away? Because you’re afraid of competing with a little pity?
Or are you afraid that it’s just a little bit more?
Perhaps more than you’ll ever be able to handle?
” The questions were barely above a conversational murmur, but they raked over Leia’s skin like industrial-strength sanders.
Leia heard Warren enter. The sound of the door sliding shut reminded her that Noah was out there, counting down her minute.
Shivering in remembrance of his cold warning, she summoned a smile for Ashley. “Good luck.”
About to walk away, she saw the file of Noah’s alleged criminal charges. It was open to his NYPD mugshot. Her insides clenched hard. The look in his eyes was truly terrifying. They promised retribution of the worst possible kind—the retribution of a man who believed himself wronged.
“If you did this to him and you’re stupid enough to come back for more, trust me, you’re going to need all the luck in the world.”
She had the satisfaction of seeing Ashley’s demeanor crumble for a second before that infernal smile returned.
“I’m having his baby. It’s as simple and final as that. But if you need it pointed out to you further—baby trumps trollop. It’s been nice not knowing you.” Ashley waved her away.
“That’s quite enough,” Warren said. She’d forgotten he was behind her, and she jumped when he touched her arm. “Are you all right, my dear?”
She snatched her arm away. “I’m fine,” she responded automatically, unwilling to let anyone see how very much not fine she was. “I need… I need to grab my things… I’ll be right back.”
She glanced at the sliding doors. Her minute had come and gone.
Bizarrely, a part of her hoped Noah would storm in just so she could see him one last time.
Shaking her head at the pure madness behind that thought, she rushed up the stairs to the bedroom.
At the sight of the rumpled bed and the clothes strewn on the floor, she stumbled.
She’d gone on the Indigo Lounge trip to wash away the memories of what her stepfather had done to her, to regain some of the power he’d taken from her.
Little did she know she’d be walking away with so much more.
An experience of a lifetime. An experience that had been destined to last less than a week.
With an unforgettable man.
Leia trembled as she gathered her things.
The top she’d worn all day yesterday was creased and smelled bad.
On a selfish whim, she decided to keep Noah’s Vassar College T-shirt.
Stuffing her top into her purse, she pushed her feet into her heels, grabbed the rest of her belongings and rushed back downstairs.
Warren waited by the front door. Unable to resist, she glanced out to the terrace. Noah was pacing, his phone clamped to his ear.
He started to turn toward her, froze with his glance downward, and turned back to the view.
Knowing the move had been a deliberate effort on his part not to look into the living room clawed at her heart. She inhaled shakily.
What the fuck was she doing? She’d chosen to walk away. Dithering like an idiot only prolonged the pain.
Resolutely, she strode to the front door, her hand clamped around her purse. When Warren sent her one of his calm, barely there smiles, she ignored him. If that was his version of pity, he could stuff it. She didn’t need anyone’s pity.
Who the fuck’s business was it that her insides had turned into a barren wasteland?