Chapter 4
“I’ve made reservations at Pietro’s for eight this evening.”
Leia didn’t want to pull herself out of the fog surrounding her. The fog numbed her. Made her not have to think about the next second, the next minute. Thinking meant remembering. Remembering brought sharp, blistering pain to her chest. Fog was good. She snuggled in deeper.
“Leia.”
That tone again. The one that made her feel like a disobedient subordinate. One he owned through and through and enjoyed controlling.
Snyder looks at you like you’re his private possession .
Leia froze, Noah’s words clanging through her head.
She’d rejected the observation at the time.
Now, it imbedded in her consciousness, and she couldn’t dismiss the remark.
She shivered, despite the sun blazing down on the lounger she’d spread out on in her private solarium, the farthest point from Warren’s wing of the mansion.
Had someone ramped up the air-conditioning?
She grabbed the remote, lowered the jazz funk she’d been using to drown out her thoughts and faced Warren.
Even though it was the weekend, he was dressed in his customary Savile Row suit, complete with waistcoat, pinstriped tie, cufflinks and polished brogues.
His hair was combed neatly enough to pass a military code test. She looked away and inwardly grimaced at the calm perfection she’d once aspired to.
“I’d rather not go out tonight, Warren.”
He took another step forward and she caught a hint of his expensive cologne. It was chilling and impersonal, nowhere near Noah’s potent, intoxicating scent.
Noah…
God, it hurt just thinking his name.
“We don’t always get to choose life’s experiences. I’m hoping the idea of dinner with me isn’t one of the less pleasant ones? Especially as it’s at your favorite restaurant?”
She turned the music off. “Is this some sort of life lesson?”
“If you want it to be.” He strolled forward in that controlled, calculated way of his and paused at the foot of the lounger.
Slowly, his gaze raked over her, and she shivered again. She still wore Noah’s college T-shirt but had changed into a pair of dark blue leggings after a hundred-lap swim this morning. She saw Warren’s eyes linger on the Vassar logo before they rose to hers.
“If it’s any consolation, I think you made the right decision, my dear. Now, you need to move on quickly. Excise the wound before the infection sets in.” His eyes dropped back to the logo. When she realized they lingered on her breasts, she folded her arms.
“Why did you come to Noah’s place with her?”
The question had swirled through her mind since yesterday.
Once they’d arrived home, all she’d wanted to do was retreat to a dark corner, away from the harrowing reality of what she’d done.
Despite knowing she was only prolonging the agony, she’d slept in Noah’s shirt.
She was nowhere near ready to let it go yet.
But in the clear light of day, she had questions. Ones she couldn’t shy away from any longer. “Did you know who she was before the airport yesterday?”
“No. She came to see me yesterday morning. When I became aware of the gravity of Miss Maitland’s news, I concluded that you shouldn’t be left to face it on your own. I came because you needed my protection.”
“You mean you didn’t trust me to deal with this my own way.”
“You dealt with it your way. I just wanted to make sure you were presented with the unsullied facts.”
“Well, you certainly did that.”
His eyes gleamed. “You know sarcasm isn’t a trait I admire, my dear. It’s a poor defense mechanism used by the uncouth. If you want me to think you’re in control of your emotions, do better.”
“Maybe I’ve discovered that giving my emotions free reign isn’t a bad thing after all. Did you stop to think about that?”
“Of course. I factored that in, which is why I gave you twenty-four hours to… wallow. But you need to get yourself together. We have another board meeting early tomorrow. And the unresolved subject of your stepfather still requires our attention. Had you returned home on Friday night, we would have made progress.” Again, that chiding tone but coupled with something else.
A hint of possessiveness. Recognizable now because it was amplified a thousand times with a single glance or word when it came from Noah.
This time, her shiver engulfed her whole body. “I haven’t forgotten what’s at stake. ”
“Good.” He tugged at the expertly pressed cloth of his trousers and sat down beside her.
“Besides the… emotional aspects of all this, I wanted to remind you of your corporate responsibility. Nothing can jeopardize what we’ve spent years building, Leia.
We’re so close. It would be a shame to do something foolish and risk everything.
” He gave a single shake of his head. The move was so alien to the Warren she knew that her sharp reply froze in her throat.
“I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t have allowed you to go on this trip. ”
She jerked away from him. “ Allowed me? I’m twenty-three years old, Warren.”
He barely blinked at her outburst. “But in some aspects you’re still a child, a novice at certain things.”
“You really believe that, don’t you? Or do you just want me to remain a child? Frozen and helpless at seventeen?”
A look curled through his gaze, but his eyelids descended, shielding it from view. A chill whispered over her. She whipped her legs off the lounger and turned sideways.
“I would never wish you helpless.” There was a thread of hurt in his voice that made her feel bad. But it wasn’t enough to wash away the anger at what his description of her made her feel.
“Then don’t treat me like a child. I’m no longer the broken person you brought home five years ago.”
Warren turned toward her, his spine straight and his face somber. “I couldn’t be more proud of the progress we’ve made if I tried. But I wish you to not lose sight of that.”
“I won’t.”
“So will you accompany me to dinner? Pietro is holding our usual table.”
Leia wanted to refuse. But she didn’t want to give Warren the satisfaction of thinking she would be spending another evening wallowing.
And if she didn’t go out, she knew she would do exactly that.
Besides, the idea of not having to think about Noah constantly as she had been the last twenty-four hours was a welcome thought.
Left on her own, she would wonder if Ashley had managed to talk her way back into his life. If they were, even now, considering names for their child. Another arrow pierced her heart. Over and over, that look on Noah’s face when Ashley made her announcement flashed into her mind.
He may not have planned it, but the idea of a child meant something to him. It was that look on his face that had gutted her most of all.
He’d been ripped away from her before she’d had time to absorb the fact that she’d fallen in love with him.
Drowning in tears in the middle of the night, she’d consoled herself by thinking what she’d done was for the best. She’d never have to face the tough discussion of whether he wanted a family at some distant point in the future.
It was better this way. The burn might be too much to bear right now, but eventually she would forget him.
She had to.
“Yes, I’ll come to dinner,” she replied to Warren.
“Good.” About to rise, he paused, leaned in close and pressed his lips against her temple. Again, his chilling scent engulfed her.
Long after he’d left the solarium, she sat, wishing the scent was a different one.
And contemplating the possibility that it was time to move out of Warren’s house.
“If we don’t leave now, we’ll be late for our reservation.”
“I’ll be right there.” She slid her platform heels on and glanced at herself one last time in the hallway mirror.
She would need to decide soon whether to shave that patch of hair again or let it grow.
She resisted the urge to caress that part of her head the way Noah did, and faced Warren.
“I can’t find my phone. Have you seen it? ”
Warren glanced at his watch. “I haven’t. If you need to make a call you can use mine.”
She stopped herself from telling him that wasn’t the point and smoothed a hand over her forest-green sleeveless dress.
Her firm resolve had wobbled many times before she got dressed.
As she stood in the shower, indulging in another crying jag, wallowing had seemed a far better alternative to making meaningless conversation with Warren just to prove a point.
But she knew her former guardian wouldn’t let her off that easily.
In the car, he shrewdly engaged in conversation that would demand more of an effort than monosyllabic answers from her.
All the same, by the time they pulled up to the restaurant in West Palm Beach, she was a heartbeat away from instructing the driver to take her back home.
She gritted her teeth and stepped out of the car.
The urge to prove she was strong enough not to fall apart from a relationship that had lasted less than a week battled with the need to bawl her eyes out.
Strength won. Her sole aim for indulging in the IL trip had been to have a no-strings-attached fling.
She’d fucked that up spectacularly, of course, and fallen in love before they’d barely exchanged more than a few pertinent details about each other.
But that didn’t mean her life was over.
She sucked in a breath and let Warren walk her into the Michelin-star restaurant.
Pietro’s greeting was loud and effusive. Discretion had never been the portly Italian’s strong point, but the food here was great enough to make his customers overlook his boisterousness.
“A bottle of your favorite Grand Cru to start the evening off, bellissima ?” Pietro asked once they were seated by the window.
Leia started to shake her head, and then changed her mind. Getting drunk might be one way to numb the relentless pain. “Sure. Red, please.”
She ignored Warren’s microscopic frown.