Chapter 29
Considering the incredible heights they’d achieved, the plummet was almost inevitable.
It began as she stood at the picturesque window of their suite at the Indigo Lounge HK. The view over Hong Kong Island was breathtaking, with myriad lights from skyscrapers reflected over Victoria Harbor.
Behind her, Noah was taking a shower.
They’d arrived late on Monday night and crashed. Now she was wide awake in the early hours, unable to shake the stone of anxiety wedged in her gut.
None of her staff at La Carezza had been able to reach the manufacturers. And since Warren had taken direct responsibility for fostering a relationship with the Hong Kong part of her business, she was operating in the dark, with the threat of his evil presence lingering.
She turned from the view and smiled at the sound of running water.
Noah had probably fallen asleep leaning against the shower wall.
The stamina he’d demonstrated during the flight had been nothing short of Olympic.
She hadn’t been surprised when he’d fallen into a coma-like sleep minutes after they’d checked in.
Grimacing that her anxiety was what had woken him, she crossed the suite to go check on him and stopped when she saw his wallet on the floor.
Picking it up, she walked to the dresser, her fingers caressing the expensive leather. Almost unbidden, Ashley’s smug voice exploded from deep within her subconscious.
… he asked for a copy of the scan to keep in his wallet …
She bit her lip. What she was contemplating was wrong, but her fingers moved anyway. She opened his wallet and plucked out the ultrasound scan before she could stop herself. Hands shaking, she held it up to the light.
The arms, legs and head were distinguishable but the rest was still a blob.
A desperately precious blob… A piece of Noah she would never be able to create with him… Knowing he would be a brilliant father made her heart swell with joy for him.
Even while savage pain ripped through her soul.
“What are you doing?” Noah’s deep voice vibrated from behind her.
She jumped, dropping the scan and wallet.
Slowly, he bent and picked up the photo. His eyes narrowed at her. “How did you know this was in there?”
“Ashley…”
His nostrils flared. “She told you about it the day she came to see you?”
“Yes,” she replied.
He looked down at the picture for a moment, then back at her. “What else did she say?”
“She said you were going to commit to her and the baby sooner or later and I was… standing in your way.”
He cursed. “That’s why you cancelled on me that night? ”
Her breath shuddered out. Suddenly cold, she folded her arms.
“I told myself I was just coming to you for the sex, but even then I knew it was a lie. Just as I knew right from the start that it was wrong to dream of any sort of future with you. But I went ahead and did it anyway. Her visit reminded me that I could never give you this, that I would never hold your babies… It didn’t matter whether you would want that with me or not.
All I could see was the black hole of nothingness…
” A sob escaped before she could stop it.
“It kills me, Noah. And when you told me you wanted to be a father… It was foolish, I know. God, we’d only known each other less than a week and I was already building you into my future, had already imprinted you so indelibly into my life that I ignored the one thing I could never ask you to overlook. ”
“Leia…”
She closed her eyes and squeezed the words out. “It’s okay. You have that now…”
“Just shut the fuck up for a minute?—”
She shook her head. “You have a baby on the way. Anytime this gets too heavy for you, just tell me and I’ll… I’ll step aside.”
He inhaled sharply. “You’d walk away from me? Again?”
“If that’s what you want. I know I can never be a whole woman for you.”
“Leia.” The rough gravity in his voice made her eyes pop open. He’d paled and his face was a mask of tortured resignation.
“If I couldn’t give you children, would you walk away from me?” he asked bleakly.
She frowned. “What? Of course not…”
He shook his head in despair. “You’re determined to be so fucking noble. Did you ever stop to think of how this would play out if our positions were reversed?”
She shook her head. “But it’s not,” she cried. “I’m the one?—”
“Who has to make all the sacrifices? Even more than you’ve already done?”
“You don’t understand?—”
“Then educate me. Or actually don’t. I’ve had it up to my back teeth with you falling on your sword for everyone.
” He stepped forward and grabbed her arms. “Be selfish for goddamn once. Demand what you want. Take what you need and to hell with everyone else. You want me. Take me, dammit. Don’t apologize or make excuses not to have me. ”
Her eyes rounded when he held up the scan. “I didn’t plan for this, but I’m making room in my life for it because I have no choice. You have a choice to make room in your life for me. Do you want to?”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a blessed second. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
His eyes narrowed. “You said yes to me once, and I dared to believe you meant it. You better make sure you mean it this time.”
“I mean it. If you want me, Noah, I’m yours.”
He stared at her for a long time before he exhaled harshly. Crushing her in his arm, he muttered, “God, you drive me crazy. I have no metaphorical toes left from dancing to your insane tune.”
Her heart hammered as she sought the words she needed to say. “Noah, about… about the baby.”
He stiffened. “Yes?”
“You know what I said about not wanting to be saddled… I didn’t mean it. If you want me to be part of yours and the baby’s life, I’ll?— ”
They both startled as the phone rang. She knew the moment Noah realized what she was thinking.
Phone calls in the middle of the night were never a good sign.
“Leave it,” she pleaded.
Noah soothed her shiver with warm hands. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
The ringing stopped. Then started again almost immediately.
“No,” she whispered under her breath.
“Hey.” He lifted her chin and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”
Gritting her teeth, she nodded.
He picked up the phone, listened, and looked over at her. His closed face set her heart racing. “It’s for you. From your office.”
She gave a sigh of relief. Business problems she could deal with, although finally talking to Noah about Ashley and the baby hadn’t gone too badly.
She answered the phone, her mind on that last, most important thing she needed to say to Noah.
At first, her PA’s words barely trickled through. Then she clutched the phone and fought the icy shivers dancing up her nape.
“Hang on, Celia, could you repeat that?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Michaels…” Her PA’s voice shook.
“Stop apologizing and tell me what’s going on.”
“I… I managed to track down the manager from our manufacturing outfit in Hong Kong. The reason they’ve been out of touch with us… Well, the manager says the warehouse burned down. We’ve lost the whole collection.”