Chapter 15 Khloe
Khloe
The drive home felt longer than it should’ve. It was like every light chose to be red that day. I cried such an ugly cry. It was one of those cries that sneaks up on you when your mind won’t stop replaying what your eyes saw.
What the fuck.
I had gone there with a pure heart. That’s what made it hurt worse. I genuinely wanted to check on Mrs. Nikki as her ‘niece’, making sure she was okay after everything she’d been through. And instead, I walked into something that cracked me straight down the middle.
Kairo was fully dressed. He looked shocked, confused, and almost scared when I opened that closet door.
I could admit that much. But what sent me over the edge was how quickly he went into defense mode and how fast he started explaining other shit instead of seeing where I was coming from.
He never took the time to see how that scene would look through my eyes. That’s what pissed me off the most.
I pressed a button on my steering wheel and called Coffee.
“What’s up, babes?” she answered.
“Are you busy?”
“Not anymore. I just had a client leave. Her husband settled after I found some messy-ass dirt he didn’t want coming out. I didn’t give a damn if she did breach the prenuptial contract, she was walking away with more than enough to start her new life.”
I laughed through my tears. That was Coffee, always fighting for women like it was her life’s mission.
“What’s wrong?” she asked gently. “I can hear it in your voice.”
I took a deep breath and told her everything. From walking into the house, to opening the closet door, to the look on Kairo’s face, to the way my chest felt like it was caving in on itself.
When I finished, she got real quiet.
“Can I laugh first?” Coffee asked.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. Go ahead.”
She laughed so loud that it made me smile. “I know that wormy bitch didn’t. Please let me tell my mama.”
“No,” I said immediately. “Kairo probably already told Mamma G, I’m sure. And as mad as I am, I wouldn’t wish being on her bad side on anyone.”
Coffee came from a well off family too, but her mama came from the trenches before marrying into it. That hood background was never far from the surface. Coffee inherited that duality honestly. She could switch from courtroom brilliance to street bitch in the blink of an eye.
She cleared her throat, about to go into Camille mode.
“I don’t need professional Camille,” I stopped her. “I need my friend Coffee.”
She sighed. “Damn. Not the government name. All I was gonna say was that your feelings are valid.”
I sniffed. “THANK YOU! Because if a man was on me like that, I would’ve maced his ass so quick.”
Coffee hummed. “Would you though?”
“Huh?”
“Because you didn’t mace that Stacks man,” she said in her serious voice. “And he was all over you those two times y’all met.”
I smacked my lips. “That was a friendly hug. He wasn’t naked and ready to stick it in.”
“True,” she said. “But feelings don’t care about technicalities. What matters is what your mind decides something means.”
“And right now,” Coffee continued, “your mind is loud as hell.”
I sniffed hard and wiped at my face with the back of my hand, shaking my head.
“Coffee, you have a point, but I don’t even want to focus on that right now.”
“So in that moment,” she asked, trying to switch gears with the conversation, “when you drove off… what would you have wanted him to do?”
I swallowed, staring at the road ahead of me.
“Because I understand why you’re mad,” she kept going. “But if we’re being honest, you’re not mad because you think he did something. You know deep down he was innocent. You’re mad about how he handled it and how he handled you afterward.”
“Yes,” I said immediately. “Like stop trying to explain it. Stop trying to make it logical. Just care about me. Just hold me in the moment. Just see that I’m hurt and respond to that instead of facts, explanations, and defense.”
Coffee was quiet taking in everything that I was saying.
“So you would’ve wanted him to chase you?” she asked. “Follow you home?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “Yes. Show up for me like you show up for everyone else. Especially that damn job.”
The words tasted bitter in my mouth, but they were true.
Coffee exhaled slowly. “Okay. But in that moment… would you have even been calm enough to let him be there for you? Or would it have been him chasing you, trying too hard, and it turning into something even uglier?”
I sniffed again. I really thought about what she asked, and the truth surprised me.
“I… can’t answer that,” I admitted honestly. “I don’t know.”
Coffee hummed softly. “And that’s the problem, Khloe,” she said.
“You wanted him to still chase you in a moment where you pushed him away. You told him, without saying the words, leave me the fuck alone. But what you actually wanted was for him to be there. To follow you anyway and refuse to give you the space you were basically demanding.”
“And now,” she continued, “because he chose the opposite—because he probably thought he was respecting you and giving you space—you’re mad at him for that. Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? Do you see what your mind is doing to you?”
I stared through the windshield, tears falling silently down my face. She did have a point. I just wasn’t ready to accept it.
“I think,” Coffee said softly, “you need to go home and just… sit for a minute. No thinking or replaying the situation. Just breathe.”
“I did have a long night,” I admitted. “We watched a scary movie before bed, and I tossed and turned all night while Kairo slept like a baby.”
Coffee laughed softly. “See? You probably just need a nap.”
“Yeah,” I said tiredly. “I’ll call you when I get up. I’m like ten minutes from the house now.”
“Okay. I love you, girl.”
“I love you too.”
I hung up and sat in silence for a minute.
The screen in my car switched automatically to my call log.
Three missed calls from Stacks. I also had a message sitting in my phone unopened with his song for the day.
I sighed, resting my head back against the seat for a moment.
I had told myself I was done. Done with the friendship, the confusion, and anything that would complicate my life more than it already was.
But staring at his name made my resolve wobble.
Everyone kept asking me to see things from Kairo’s perspective. No one ever just lets me sit in my feelings without trying to make them reasonable. That had always been my problem. I always considered Kairo. I always made room for him. I always bent and adjusted my feelings for him.
But talking to Stacks… it felt different.
With him, there was no history to manage, no marriage to consider, and no past to defend.
When I talked to him, I forgot about my responsibilities, my hurt, and my overthinking.
It felt like stepping into fresh air after being stuck in a room with no windows.
Laughter came easier and curiosity felt harmless. I didn’t have to explain myself.
I didn’t want to call him back, but I wanted that feeling. Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out and pressed his name on the screen.
The phone started ringing and he answered it quickly like he was waiting by the phone.
“I thought for a minute you dropped me like a bad habit.”
I let out a small, fake laugh and before I could stop it, I knew he heard it.
“What was that laugh?” he asked, curious.
I bit my lip, thinking if I should tell him the truth. “Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
I took a breath. “I started to feel some things I shouldn’t have. And instead of pretending I didn’t, I told myself I needed to remove myself from this friendship before it... you know. I know why we originally connected, but I took it upon myself to actually get to know you and—”
“Then why call?” he cut in.
The why that he asked wasn’t harsh but it did have me speechless for a second.
“Why call if you felt that way?”
I swallowed. My throat felt tight, like I’d been holding something in all day.
“Because I’ve had a really terrible day,” I said, starting to cry again.
“One of the worst I’ve had in years and not because of what happened, but because of how it made me feel.
No one seems to care about that part. Everyone keeps telling me to consider this, and consider that, and think about him, and think about the bigger picture.
I don’t want to consider anything right now but how Khloe feels. ”
I paused.
“And I know you’re the one person who won’t tell me to consider anything outside of myself.”
He chuckled, and I felt bad because it sounded like I was using him a little bit.
“Do you know how rare it is for a woman to say that out loud?” he said. “To choose herself without apologizing for it?”
Wait, hold on. I felt my shoulders relax just a little.
“People call that selfish,” he continued. “But it’s not.”
I closed my eyes for a second, taking his words in. It felt so good to be understood.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“I’m actually just parked in my driveway,” I said, looking at my house.
“Check your phone.”
I frowned and picked it up. A new text sat at the top of my screen.
“What is this?” I asked.
“My address,” he said. “You said you wanted a moment where you didn’t have to consider anything but yourself.
I’m not talking about anything sexual. Just come be a guest at my home.
We’ll talk, eat, and chill. I’ll even play you some music and have you gone before you need to pick your daughter up from school. ”
My heart started doing that fast, uneven thump that felt a lot like fear and excitement holding hands.
I sat there, staring at my front door.
I thought about talking about it with Coffee, but she’d tell me I was crazy. I considered calling Niv, but she’d chew me out for reaching out after she instructed me not to.