Chapter 21 Khloe
Khloe
One Month Later
Stacks’ mouth was all over mine. His hand was wrapped around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I laughed against his lips because that’s what we had turned into over the last month—hungry. For time, touch, and each other.
“God, you’re so damn beautiful,” he said, brushing his thumb across my cheek before kissing me again. “I miss you the second you leave.”
“You just saw me yesterday,” I said, laughing softly, even though my stomach flipped at the words.
“That’s too long.”
His lips trailed from my mouth to my jaw, down to my neck. I pushed at his chest lightly.
“Nooo,” I dragged out, smiling even though I wasn’t serious enough. “I told you I have to go. I have to finish the final touches for Kennedi’s sweet sixteen. I’m already behind. You said to stop by after I dropped her off at school for a hug.”
“I know,” he said, but he didn’t stop. His mouth found that spot just under my ear that he knew made my body melt. “Five more minutes.”
I sighed.
“Stacks…”
“Five,” he repeated, kissing me again.
“Okay,” I whispered, knowing good and well that five minutes with him never meant five minutes.
Over the last month, five minutes had turned into hours.
Phone calls that started at “good morning” and stretched until it was time to pick up Kennedi.
Random pull-ups in parking lots just to talk.
A million make-out sessions. A few fuck sessions.
I told myself I wouldn’t cross the line again after each time, but still did it again.
The guilt came in waves. At first, it was barely there. Then it started screaming. The more I entertained Stacks, the louder it got.
Pleasure has a way of muting guilt and freedom convincing you that you deserve it. Emotionally, I was confused as hell. I loved my husband deeply. We had built a life, but Stacks felt like a version of Kairo I once knew. He looked at me like I was a woman.
Coffee knew about Stacks and she hated it in theory but loved me too much to make me feel stupid. She never cosigned it, but she never shamed me either. She just listened and sighed a lot, saying I was making her brain hurt. Meanwhile, life refused to pause.
Stacks and Kairo both wanted more time. Somehow, Kairo had slowed down. He was home more and wanting to do more things together. It felt like the universe was playing a sick joke.
I finally had what I begged for. And I was splitting myself in half trying to give two men pieces of me that only one was supposed to have.
“You think about me when you’re at home?” he asked softly against my lips.
I hated when he asked shit like that. I did all the time. The same way that I thought of Kairo the entire time I was with him.
“You’re ridiculous,” I replied.
“You do.”
“I really have to go,” I whispered this time, more serious.
Kairo was at home waiting on me with breakfast. Fuck.
Guilt slammed into my stomach so hard that I wanted to vomit.
He smiled, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Go be great, then.”
He opened the car door, and stepped out.
“Lo.”
“Don’t get lost in your head,” he said softly. “You deserve to feel good too.”
And that was the damn problem.
I pulled off from his house with my heart still beating too fast. I drove a few streets over before grabbing my phone and calling Coffee. If I didn’t talk to someone, I was going to explode.
She answered on the second ring.
“I already ordered the cake. I’ll be there Friday to help with any last-minute stuff for Saturday.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “That’s not why I called.”
“Then what do you want, girl?” she sighed dramatically. “You’ve been driving us crazy with this sweet sixteen party all week.”
“I’m headed home. I just left Stacks’ house.”
There was a long pause.
“Okay,” she said, annoyed. “Go ahead.”
“I wish I could just figure out what I’m doing.”
“Meaning?”
“I love my husband,” I said quickly, like I needed her to know that first. “We’ve been spending more time together. He’s home more. He’s trying. But it feels… forced. Like why now? Why after I’ve been begging for years?”
Coffee stayed quiet.
“It’s like he could feel that I was giving someone else my attention. And now he wants to be everything I asked for. And I don’t even know how to receive it.”
“Mhmm.”
“And I enjoy my time with Stacks,” I admitted softly.
“He makes me feel like that teen girl that just gets to experience fun. The kind of fun I didn’t get because I was in school and rocking a baby.
We do dumb shit together. We had a naked pillow fight last week and just laid there laughing until our stomachs hurt. ”
Coffee made a low sound in her throat.
“The guilt is starting to wear me down,” I whispered.
“I’ve always been a good girl. And now I’m lying about my whereabouts, sneaking around, and looking at my husband in the face like I’m not doing this.
It makes it hard to even discipline Kennedi.
How can I tell her anything when I’m doing reckless shit? ”
Coffee couldn’t wait to speak.
“You opened a can of worms,” she said. “And now you have worms crawling everywhere.”
I sighed.
“You wanted to feel something. You felt it. Now you gotta deal with it.”
I pulled up to a red light, staring straight ahead.
“That mental and sexual bond you built with him is dangerous,” she continued. “It ain’t just physical, and that’s where you messed up.”
I swallowed hard. “What if he starts wanting more?”
“I think he already does.”
“Yeahhh… He asked me if I ever considered separation. It caught me off guard. Like why would you even ask that?”
Coffee sucked her teeth. “See? That’s that shit I be talking about. This was supposed to be fucking only. But you let that man mentally fuck you too.”
I laughed, trying to lighten the blow, but she wasn’t laughing.
“You playing house in two different worlds,” she said. “And both of them are real.”
“I don’t want to hurt either one of them,” I said. “But I know I owe everything to my husband.”
“You don’t owe anyone a destroyed version of yourself either,” she said. “But let me tell you something—if you don’t figure this out and chill, this can turn ugly.”
“How?”
“You think men don’t have egos? You think Stacks gon’ keep playing a side role forever if he’s catching real feelings? You think Kairo won’t feel the shift eventually? You’re juggling fire, Khloe. And fire doesn’t care how good your intentions are.”
My chest tightened.
“You gotta decide what you actually want,” she continued. “Not what feels good today. Not what strokes your ego. Not what fills a temporary void. What do you want long term?”
I didn’t answer because I didn’t know.
“You asked for a spark in your marriage,” Coffee said. “You got one. It just came from somewhere else. Now you gotta ask yourself if you’re trying to light a candle… or burn your whole house down.”
“You made a mess,” she said bluntly. “And grown women clean up their own messes. So figure out if you’re staying married and cutting this off… or if you’re walking away and doing it the right way. But this middle shit never ends cute. Trust me. As a divorce attorney, I’ve seen it all.”
I pulled into the house driveway and put the car in park.
“Well I’m home,” I said quietly. “The party coordinator’s inside. I’m already an hour late.”
Coffee sighed. “Go handle your business. And Khloe?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t wait until everything explodes to decide.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I ran into the house with the front door shutting hard behind me.
“Where is she?” I asked before I even sat down my purse.
Kairo was sitting at the dining table scrolling on his phone. He looked up slowly, annoyance on his face.
“You just missed her,” he said. “The meeting was only thirty minutes long. She stayed trying to wait on you, but she had to get to the venue to make sure things were how you wanted.”
Damn.
I glanced around like she might magically reappear. “Well… what did she say?”
He reached for a notebook on the table, flipping it open. He had actually been taking notes.
“The caterer is booked. The DJ is booked with a list of special songs from Kennedi. The fireworks she wanted were approved by the venue owners.” He squinted at the page. “She mentioned something about the bartender being booked too, but I couldn’t remember her name.”
“Oh yeah,” I said quickly. “That’s Ty’s girlfriend’s best friend.”
He blinked. “Wait. Niv’s best friend Ty?”
“Yes.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Since when does Ty like women?”
I shrugged casually. “Since she got a girlfriend. But yeah, her girlfriend’s best friend is a bartender. I met her one night with the girls.”
“Oh.” He nodded slowly. “Okay. Cool.”
He closed the notebook.
“Well, breakfast is cold now,” he said. “But if you want it, we can heat it up.”
“Okay.”
We moved to the kitchen. He grabbed the plates while I stayed glued to my phone, pretending to check emails but I was texting Stacks back.
I could feel him looking at me.
“What?” I asked without looking up.
“Nothing.”
But it wasn’t nothing. He stopped, then set the plate down and leaned against the counter.
“Baby… something is different.”
My fingers froze over my screen.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he said slowly, choosing his words, “I’m here. I’m home. I’m doing everything you said you wanted. And now you’re so busy you’re barely here.”
“You’ve missed events for Kennedi. You’re always rushing in or out. And look at you.” He gestured vaguely. “Since when do you wear jeans and T-shirts every day? You used to dress up for no reason. Do your long skincare routine. Light candles. Now you barely do any of that.”
“At one point,” he continued quietly, “all you wanted to do was have sex. Now it feels like you’re running from me.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. I went straight into defense mode.
“What does that even mean?” I snapped. “Don’t start with me today. I don’t have time for this.”
That caught him off guard, and I could see it in his face.
“I’m not starting anything. I’m talking to my wife.”
“And I’m telling you I don’t have time for it,” I shot back. “I’ve been planning a whole sweet sixteen. I’ve been handling everything.”
“It’s been going on longer than two weeks, Khloe,” he said. “I’ve been trying to overlook it. Trying to tell myself maybe you’re just stressed. But I’m tired.”
“Tired of what?”
“Tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying.”
“You weren’t saying that when you were at work all the time,” I fired back. “Or when your little clients were trying to undress in closets.”
His face changed instantly.
“Don’t,” he warned.
“Don’t what?” I said. “Don’t jump to conclusions? That’s funny. I’m not in a house letting a client try to seduce me like Ms. Nikki.”
He looked like I had slapped him. “You really still holding that over my head?”
“I’m just saying.” I shrugged, even though I was nauseous. “Don’t start assuming things about me.”
He dragged a hand down his face. “That’s not the same thing and you know it.”
“Whatever.”
He grabbed his keys and wallet off the counter. The front door shut so hard that I thought it broke.
I stood there with my arms folded. I knew I had hit below the belt. I knew I had twisted something innocent just to deflect. But what else could I have said? What answer could I have given that wouldn’t expose my hand?