Chapter 5
F or a while, all I could do was stare at Houston.
When he said he’d had a long day at work and wanted to eat and get in my bed, I thought that meant I’d cook or we’d order something to have delivered.
Instead, he showed up at my penthouse apartment with birria tacos from my favorite restaurant and nothing for me to eat.
I replayed our conversation, asking myself if he’d asked if I had food and I wasn’t paying attention, but no. That wasn’t the case.
“Where’s mine?” I asked softly, refusing to believe this man hadn’t gotten me something to eat.
He looked up briefly before dipping his taco in queso cheese then the consommé. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, bae. I wasn’t really thinking about you. I was in a rush to get here and just got myself something.”
“Wow. Okay.”
With a chuckle, I ran my fingers through my hair and left the living room.
I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine, hoping it would help me calm down.
I was starting to not like how I acted with Houston.
Some of the shit he did pulled me out of character, and I was too calm and laidback to be in an almost constant state of anger or disappointment because of something he said or did.
Even if I told myself it wasn’t intentional, it still hurt, and I was tired of downplaying that.
I snatched a bag of frozen hot wings from the freezer then grabbed some cup noodles from the pantry.
I kept telling myself not everyone was considerate and thoughtful and that I shouldn’t be upset when a person wasn’t.
But you’d think at some point your partner would mirror your actions.
You’d think my constant consideration of Houston would make him consider me, but he didn’t.
And I was trying my hardest not to snap because he wouldn’t see the bigger picture.
He wouldn’t see the principle behind it.
All he’d see was me starting an argument because of some damn tacos.
Blinking back my tears, I inhaled a deep breath. I’d never made a habit out of letting a man see me in my feelings, and I didn’t want to start now.
“Oh, you didn’t have nothing to eat?” he asked from the living room. I shook my head and set the noodles on the counter. “Why you ain’t say that, bae?”
Chuckling, I gripped the stove handle and released a shaky exhale.
“How was I supposed to know you were getting something while you were out, Houston? We agreed we were going to eat and watch a movie until we crashed, so I assumed you wanted to have something delivered or me to cook since you didn’t mention stopping anywhere.”
He waited until he was done chewing to respond. “Yeah, but I decided I wanted these tacos at the last minute. I didn’t really think to call and ask you if you wanted something. My fault.”
I preheated the oven, not even bothering to respond.
I didn’t really want the wings, but I was so irritated I didn’t want to wait to have something delivered because it would further fuck up my mood.
But the thought of eating something I didn’t really want pissed me off more, so I cut the oven off and decided to go to the restaurant to get my own tacos.
By the time I was done slipping into a pair of jeans, a tee, and my white and black Sambas, Houston was making his way into my room.
“Where you going?” he questioned as a frown covered his face.
“To get me something to eat.”
“Why you ain’t ask for none of my tacos?”
“First of all, I shouldn’t have had to ask for any. Second, it was only three. If you gave me some, you would have complained about not having enough to get full.”
“Well where you ’bout to go?”
“Don’t worry about it. You weren’t worried about if I was hungry or not while you were getting your food.”
“Ugh here we go,” he complained, head flinging back as his eyes rolled.
“Yeah, here we go. Why on Earth would you get yourself something to eat and not bring me anything?” My hands were on my hips as my weight shifted to my right side.
“I told you I didn’t think about it.”
“So you didn’t think about me?”
“You making this something it’s not, Presly.”
“No, I’m making it what it is. I would never do some shit like this to you.
I always consider you. Anytime I’m out and about to get food, don’t I always check to see if you’ve eaten?
If I cook, don’t I always call and see if you want a plate?
You knew you were coming to my home, so what part of your mind told you it was okay for you to not get me something to eat? ”
“I’ll go get you something, aight? Damn. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It is a big deal!” I yelled as he turned to head out of the door.
“It’s not the tacos, Houston. It’s the fact that you don’t consider me.
You don’t prioritize me. You’re not thoughtful at all.
The only time you get me shit is if you fucked up or we’re on a date.
But in our average day to day, I’m always the one taking care of you, and I’m tired of that energy not being reciprocated. ”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he scratched his head. “Look, I’m not about to argue with you. I told you I had a long day and just wanted to eat and chill. If you want me to get you something, I will. Otherwise, I’m done with this shit.”
The audacity this nigga had to take his shoes off as if he thought he was about to get in my bed.
“Nu unh. You can go ahead and put those back on and head to your house.”
“Are you serious right now?” he asked through his chuckle. “You putting me out over some fucking tacos, bruh?”
“I’m putting you out because this is yet another example of how you don’t think about me.”
“Presly…”
“Just go, Houston.”
“Nah. This shit is dumb as hell. I’m not about to let you put me out over some fucking tacos.”
“I just said it wasn’t about the tacos! You don’t listen. You hurt my feelings!”
The moment a tear slipped down my cheek, I growled.
I hated myself for crying in front of him.
I didn’t want to look weak. I didn’t want him to think I cared too much.
I didn’t want him to use this to take advantage of me.
I didn’t want to feel vulnerable with a man who clearly didn’t care about my feelings.
“Bae,” he said quietly, chuckling nervously as he walked over to me. “I hurt your feelings because I didn’t bring you no food?”
“Yes,” I whined, crossing my arms over my chest when he reached for me. “You know those are my favorite tacos and that’s my favorite restaurant. Why wouldn’t you bring me anything?”
“I’m sorry, bae,” he cooed, pulling me into his chest. “I wasn’t thinking.
You know I’m not used to taking care of nobody but myself.
I was hungry, so I stopped to get me some food.
It didn’t register in my brain to call you or get you something.
I know you get tired of me saying it, but I’m an only child, bae.
I’m used to my mama and women taking care of me. ”
“Being an only child does not excuse you for being an inconsiderate adult. We might not be in a relationship, but I consider you in all things, and maybe that’s my fault. Just like you consider me getting you food as a form of taking care of you, I deserve that same kind of energy too.”
“You’re right,” he conceded before placing a juicy kiss to my cheek, then the corner of my mouth. “You’re absolutely right, Pres. I should’ve gotten you something. You always look out for me, and you deserve that from me too. I’m sorry.”
Rolling my tongue over my cheek, I nodded.
I was too emotionally drained to even speak.
This was not how things were supposed to be going between us.
I shouldn’t have had to train a man on how to treat me with common decency and consideration.
It made me feel crazy even being upset over something like this.
And it wasn’t even his fault. Houston had been self-absorbed since I’d met him.
The dates and being wined and dined overshadowed that, but now it was getting harder and harder for me to ignore.
Instead of getting upset over the traits he lacked, I should have just dealt with someone who had them and saved myself the trouble and resentment.
I also didn’t like feeling like I gave Houston a hard time all the time.
This situation was starting to feel toxic, and I didn’t like that one bit.
It would have been different if he was cheating or lying or something, but that wasn’t the case.
Yeah, he was self-absorbed, but was that a complete dealbreaker?
Maybe it should have been. Then again, no man or couple was perfect.
At least he wasn’t lying or cheating. Right?
“Hey,” he called, tilting my head by my chin. “I’ll take you to go get the tacos, we can have a few shots of tequila, then go to my place and play a few games of pool to unwind. Then we can call it a night. How does that sound?”
Licking the corner of my mouth, I shook my head. I wanted to tell him no, but at least he was trying to make it right. I couldn’t ignore his effort.
“Fine,” I agreed, but the whole time we headed out of my room, my heart ached. Something had to change between us, and seeing as I couldn’t change him, maybe what needed to change was us dealing with each other.