Chapter 18
I didn’t leave my room for breakfast. I stayed inside and read.
When someone knocked and left a muffin and fruit with coffee at my door, I knew it was Rasheed.
The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air after his presence left.
The gesture made me want to cry, because yet again, he was proving how easy it was for him to choose to take care of me. To think of me.
My parents and sister knew I was retreating back into my shell, so they checked on me throughout the day briefly but left me alone.
I’d engage with them at the rehearsal dinner, but that was all the energy I had in me for the day.
When I missed him too much to deny myself, I went to find Rasheed.
I expected him to be having lunch with everyone else, so I was surprised to find him in his room.
After letting me in, he climbed back into bed wearing nothing but his boxers, and the sight of his dick print had me wanting to do more than just talk.
“You feeling better?” he asked as I climbed into bed with him.
“Yes. Why aren’t you having lunch?”
“I ate earlier. Me and Tyler went out with Jason. He wanted to find a gift for your sister tonight, so we ate while we were out.”
“Oh, cool. That’s sweet of him. He definitely loves her in her love language,” I said with a smile, because that girl loved gifts.
“What’s yours?”
“Service. Though you make me feel like it’s physical touch too. I used to hate spending a lot of time with men or having random people touch me, but that hasn’t been the case with you.”
“Yeah, they say our love language is based on what we were used to as a child and what we desire as an adult with the person we’re with, so I think it can change depending on the relationship.”
“What’s yours?”
“Quality time, and depending on the woman, service or physical touch.”
“What about me?” I asked softly, bashfully.
“Physical touch. I got the vibe that you were a loner who liked to be to yourself, and I noticed the only time you don’t stiffen up or pull away quickly when people touch you is if it’s your sister, parents, or me.
So when you let me touch you, and especially when you touch me first, that does something to me. ”
“You’re very observant.”
“In all things.”
“I’m sure that makes you a great partner and lover.”
“It does, but you’ll find out.”
As he lifted my hand and kissed it, I shifted the conversation with, “Speaking of being a lover… why did you have slow sex with me? You didn’t fuck me like I thought you would. It was almost like you were making love to me. But that couldn’t have been possible because we just met.”
I felt the quake of his body as he laughed silently.
“Is that what you wanted me to do? Fuck you?”
His hand lowering down my back and squeezing my ass before smacking and rubbing it kept me from speaking immediately.
“That was my expectation.”
“To be clear, anyone can fuck you… though not better than me. I made love to you because I got a lot of love to give, and I wanted to pour it into you because you seem…”
“Seem what?” I asked, tone quiet yet urgent when he hesitated to continue.
“Empty.”
I looked up at him and he cupped my cheek as I rested against his chest.
“So what if I am?”
“You don’t have to be. I can fill you up.”
“Why would you want to, Rasheed?”
“We all deserve love. I have to have a reason to want to give it to you?”
“Yeah. Otherwise, it just sounds like you’re running game.”
Rasheed released a rumble of laughter that reverberated against my soul and created pure joy.
“I already got the pussy, so I don’t have to run game, sweetheart.” He lifted slightly and kissed me. “I’m too old for that shit anyway, but if you need a reason beyond you deserving it… my heart calls out to you. It feels like you letting me love you is the only way you can answer.”
“I want to answer, baby,” I confessed, holding back the but at the tip of my tongue. The but that told me this was crazy, this was fast, this couldn’t last, this couldn’t be real. I didn’t want to think. I only wanted to feel.
Lifting my lips to his, we exchanged breaths in a kiss that quickly turned into clothes being removed and Rasheed putting me on my hands and knees.
“I want you to remember how much I adore you and care about you, ’cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t,” he warned, planting one foot on the bed while he lined himself up at my opening.
“Oh shit,” I whined, completely caught off guard by how full I felt from his strokes—hard, deep, fast.
I gripped the sheets as my spine turned into linguine. I couldn’t stop the sounds that poured from my mouth as he fucked me. His grip on my waist tightened when I tried to adjust myself against him.
“Don’t run. Stay just like that,” he ordered before smacking both ass cheeks. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I fucked him back. “Mhm. There you go.”
Toes curling, I reached behind and grabbed his thigh as my breasts bounced and swayed. My spine tingled and body quivered as I came.
Rasheed pulled out and tossed me over his shoulder before climbing into the bed. He laid flat and set me on top of him.
“Ah!” I cried out as he slammed me down on his perfectly curved dick.
“ Rasheed ,” I chanted, moaning as he choked me and fucked me.
My toes curled atop the sheets as he bounced me up and down on his dick.
There was no need for me to try and take control—he was in control—and I loved being powerless to his pleasure.
“P-please don’t stop,” I slurred, clawing at his wrists as my wetness poured down on him. “Please don’t stop, baby.”
“You don’t want me to stop?” he taunted, pounding into me from underneath.
“Nooo!” I yelled, back arching and knees quaking. “Ahh, oh, ff—Rasheed!”
“Fuck!” he growled as I came and squirted against him.
His name repeatedly fell from my lips as he switched our positions and climbed on top of me.
“Shut up before you get us in trouble,” he commanded, pulling my hair and covering my mouth. His strokes were deep as he brushed against my clit. Their weight had my body swaying and rocking, but he anchored me. He kept me steady.
My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I continued to convulse underneath him.
I didn’t give a damn if anyone heard us.
The way this man was fucking me should have been studied and awarded for how good he was making every inch of my body feel.
Because I didn’t just feel Rasheed in my pussy.
I felt him all over. And when his saliva dropped onto my clit before he rubbed it and pressed his left hand into my stomach, I stopped trying to be quiet and proudly let him know just how good he was making me feel.
The Rehearsal Dinner
I thought the mansion was so big no one heard us upstairs while Rasheed was fucking the shit out of me, but I was in for a rude awakening when Grandma told me she wished she had a man knocking down her walls like I did.
And seeing as that was the exact phrase she used, I almost choked on my champagne.
“Oh pooh. I only heard ya ’cause I was upstairs looking for my extra pair of glasses. Ain’t no point in you being shame now, chile. You wasn’t shame when you let that man smack his balls against your—”
“Grandma!” I yelled, grabbing her hand as she patted my back. “Oh my God. Can we please not talk about this?”
Grandma Jean released a hearty chuckle as she sat back in her seat. Her hand went to my knee as she asked, “You really like him, don’t you?”
My eyes found Rasheed. He was across the room laughing at something Daddy said. His head was flung back, eyes closed and crinkling. I loved everything about this man, but I especially loved how happy and light he was. It was refreshing. It made me want to radiate within his shine.
“I do, and I’m so scared.” My chin trembled and eyes watered as my head hung. “It just seems so fast. Like, I don’t want to fall for the feeling and set myself up to be hurt again. It hurt bad enough when I didn’t really like the men, so I know it’ll hurt like hell after I fall in love.”
“Who said it’ll hurt?”
My head turned as I looked at her. “Of course it’ll hurt when it’s over.”
“I guess I’m tryna figure out why you’re planning for it to be over when it’s only just begun.
” Her question left me stumped, so I remained silent.
“All this new age talk these days… people say you can’t fall in love.
You have to grow. And that’s true. You do grow in love, but you know what falling in love do? ”
“What?”
“It shows you whether that man is strong enough to catch ya.” Her sentiment brought tears to my eyes as she squeezed my hand.
“I knew I fell in love with your grandfather when he made me laugh during a thunderstorm. We were in his little one room shack, almost balled up on each other in the tub because it was small.” She smiled as her eyes glossed over.
“The tornado siren was going, and it was raining like crazy. Even after the siren stopped, the thunder was so loud it sounded like the Lord was about to crack the sky and come down.”
Grandma sucked her teeth with a shake of her head.
“I wasn’t scared like I usually was. I was calm and at peace.
And in the middle of that thunderstorm, your granddaddy made me laugh.
I knew from that moment on he wouldn’t be just good to me but good for me.
I was safe with him, and that’s when I knew he was the one for me. ”
She patted my hand and kissed my cheek before shimmying away to dance with Daddy and Uncle Bobby. Her story made me cry. Not just because of the beauty of their love story, but how hopeful it made me for mine.