Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
WEST
“Mr. Brooks?”
I heard Marcus’s voice, but I didn’t move. My eyes stayed fixed on the window of my office, the city lights stretching endlessly beyond the glass. I hadn’t even gone home. I’d come straight to work after we landed and somehow never left. The building was empty. Everyone else had gone.
“Mr. Brooks,” Marcus said again.
I should’ve answered him, should’ve acknowledged that I’d heard him the first time. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to go home. If I’d had my own car, I would’ve let him leave a long time ago.
But I didn’t. Because I wasn’t thinking clearly.
All I’d done all day was think about Blue. Through every meeting, every email, every call, she was in the back of my mind, taking up space I didn’t realize she occupied until she wasn’t near me anymore.
I kept replaying everything that happened this morning.
How I handled it. How I froze. How I wished I’d been a little more human, a little less rigid, a little more capable of reaching for the thing I clearly wanted.
I didn’t know how to process what almost happened, or how certain I was that it was going to happen again.
I’d already made peace with the fact that Blue didn’t count. She felt like an exception. Like a free pass. Like someone I could find pleasure in without the anger I always carried when I even thought about being intimate with another woman.
“West,” Marcus said, his voice shedding the formality, slipping into the space where he sometimes let himself be my friend instead of just my employee.
“Sorry,” I muttered, grabbing a few things from my desk and sliding them into the drawer. “Let’s go home. I’ll drive myself in tomorrow so you can sleep in.”
Marcus huffed a laugh and shook his head like I’d officially lost it.
“There’s nothing waiting for me at home but dirty sheets and a sleeve of stale saltines. I’m not in a rush,” he said. “But I thought you might want to know that Marshal just texted me. He just drove Mrs. Brooks to the lake house.”
That information felt like an invasion of her privacy.
If she’d wanted me to know she was going, she would’ve told me.
wouldn’t she? Then again, we weren’t exactly speaking when we parted ways this morning.
Regardless, I opened my mouth to tell Marcus it wasn’t his job—or Marshal’s—to keep tabs on her. That I didn’t need updates.
But then I realized this wasn’t about tracking her movements. Marcus told me because he knew exactly where I’d rather be.
“It’s only eight o’clock, sir. I could have you there in an hour.”
I glanced down at myself. I'd showered in the office, changed into a clean suit, but I still felt unraveled. Disheveled in a way I hadn’t felt in years. But she’d always liked me that way. When I wasn’t perfectly in control.
I shrugged off the jacket, unfastened the buttons at my wrist, and nodded toward the door. “Let’s go.”
Marcus smiled with a smugness he thought I wouldn’t notice. I should’ve told him to wipe it off his face. But I didn’t have the energy. I just needed to get to her.
It was just after nine when we pulled through the gates.
Marshal was leaning against the other SUV, cigarette between his fingers, watching me with the kind of look that said he wasn’t surprised in the slightest.
I stepped out, not even acknowledging him until I got to the front steps. Then I paused and turned toward both men who were standing shoulder to shoulder, probably already placing bets on what the hell I was doing.
“Hey,” I called out.
Marcus lifted a brow. “Yes, sir?”
“Leave one of the cars. You two find somewhere else to stay tonight.”
Marshal smirked and tossed me the keys. Marcus didn’t say a word. Just gave me that damn smile again as he climbed into the driver’s seat. I waited until they drove off before I entered the code and stepped inside.
I didn’t know if Marshal had told her I was coming. Didn’t know if she’d seen the security cameras on the TV or caught me pulling through the gates. But I didn’t want to startle her. So I tossed the keys on the small table in the entryway and made sure my shoes clicked against the tile.
The house was mostly dark, just a small lamp casting shadows.
I went down the hall toward her bedroom, finding the door open but the room empty.
Then I pushed open the main room, wondering if she’d decided to sleep there instead, and weirdly, hoping she had.
Hoping she’d made herself at home. Owned the space.
But it was untouched.
Then, from the large window looking out over the lake, I saw her. She was sitting on the edge of the dock, feet dangling over the water, nothing but moonlight wrapped around her. She looked peaceful.
And I hated that I was about to disturb it.
Still, I couldn’t stay away.
I slid the back door of the bedroom open and stepped onto the wood deck, making my way toward the pier. Halfway down, the boards began to creak beneath my feet and she turned with a flash of fear in her eyes before recognition softened her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, voice flat but quiet as she stood to face me.
“I knew you were here.”
“But it’s not a problem, right?” she said quickly. “You said—”
“I’m not here to make you leave,” I interrupted, raising a hand to stop her words. “Of course it’s okay that you’re here. I’m glad you’re here. I came because you’re here.”
She inhaled slowly, nodding like she understood.
“I spent all day with my dad and Lisa,” she said after a pause. “She’s great, by the way. I wanted to hate her, but I’ve never seen my dad this happy.”
That made me smile. Small. Soft. Like I did something right.
“I made dinner, played cards with them. Then Lisa left for the night. Dad went to bed early. He doesn’t need me for that. So I came out here.”
“I’m glad you did.”
I stepped closer, lifting my hand to her neck and gently guiding her toward me. My forehead pressed to hers, my eyes closed as I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For shutting down. For making you think—” I swallowed. “I don’t know how to say it. I just... I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, West,” she whispered. “We broke a lot of rules this morning. And I knew when the spell wore off, it might make you feel—”
I snorted, cutting her off. “I don’t regret it. I just don’t know how to handle it. I’ve always been the fixer. The planner. I can solve every problem my family throws at me, but I don’t know how to be the man you make me want to be.”
She pulled back just enough to look at me, reading my sincerity. Then her hand slid down my chest, eyes locked to mine.
“Tell me why you’re really here,” she whispered. “What do you want from me?”
“Whatever you’re willing to give.” She blinked, and I gave her the rest of the truth. “Maybe it’s because you’re my wife, but you feel like a free pass. You feel safe because you know better than to expect a happily ever after from me.”
Her mouth tilted, not quite a smile. “Not sure if I should be offended or not.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you were.”
Her hands slid lower, stopping at my waistband, but she didn’t undo the belt.
“I told you I wasn’t going to sleep with you for what you could give me. I told you I wasn’t some whore the town would gossip about—”
“I know.” I stepped back, guilt clawing its way in. “That’s not what I meant. That’s not what I’m trying to—”
She stopped me with a look, then took my hand and backed toward the house.
“This isn’t about what I can get from you,” she said, voice soft but unshakable. “This is about what you need from me. If you think I’m a free pass, fine. Because you deserve to feel something, West. You deserve to feel free.”
When we reached the deck, she paused by one of the loungers, yanked the cushion off the seat, and dropped it at my feet. Her gaze never left mine as she lowered herself to her knees and whispered—
“Let me make you feel human.”