Chapter 41
Only the beating of her heart in her ears could be heard as Colette processed Marshall’s words.
“You want me to leave?”
He cuddled closer. Colette blinked, trying to fight off the urge to cry.
“I don’t want you to leave. But someone is going around murdering good people, and I need to make sure you’re safe,” he spoke softly into her ear. Tightening his grip around her waist, Colette stiffened at the touch. A moment ago, it was welcome; now it seemed like a small part of a long goodbye.
Brushing her palm on his beard, she marveled at how soft it was.
Here was everything she wanted, and it was slipping through her fingers.
So soon. A pattern in her life, repeating itself.
This time, it hurt more. Her eyes locked with his, and suddenly the room seemed to close around them. All she could see was Marshall.
She wiped away the trace of a tear at the edge of her eye, her stomach in turmoil.
When she had offered to do anything, that was the last thing she expected.
“But how will I do my job?”
“We’ll set you up for remote work,” he said quietly.
“I’d rather have you safe in the city. It’s hard enough knowing how many people count on us and work with me at the ranch.
There are some people who have to stay here, but you don’t.
I’ll have a much easier time figuring things out if I know you’re out of the killer’s reach. ”
Snuggling her head closer, she pressed it into his shoulder.
Colette tried to keep the empty hollow in her chest from destroying her entirely.
Something precious was just within her reach with Marshall, a delicate seedling just taking root.
His words had been the equivalent of crushing it with his foot.
She was no love expert. Her past relationships had been simple, functional, and at times, they left her feeling empty.
In her wildest dreams, she had never expected Marshall to make her feel that way.
“Okay,” she said, her eyes searching his face. It was hard to say anything else.
Would he miss her? Or was this fledgling romance just too new to survive?
She worried her bottom lip, wondering if he would even want her to come back, once distance and time did their damage.
Her previous relationships had ended faster than they had begun, with men using her for a few moments of pleasure, then moving on.
The last thing she anticipated was for Marshall to be that kind of guy, too.
To be hers for only a moment. This time, she had been confident things were different.
Colette shivered, suddenly cold despite the heat of his arms.
Alone, but with Marshall.
She could physically sense when her heart began to detach, to distance itself from him. Her protective walls slid into place, locking him out of the heart she had been ready to freely give him.
“I’d better start packing. I’ll leave tomorrow morning,” she said, pushing herself up on one arm. As though sensing the walls coming up, Marshall pulled her back down on the bed.
“Don’t be like that,” he said, tugging on the strands of her hair and bringing her face to his. “This isn’t a goodbye. This is me trying to keep you safe. I care about you.”
“Why does it feel so final?” she asked in a small voice.
“Because we’ve both been used before. This isn’t like that. I don’t want to be apart from you,” he admitted, pressing his lips to hers. “And I don’t think you want to leave me either.” His kiss was warm and demanding, as though he was trying to savor every last ounce of it.
A pool of need began to build within her.
Her body missing him before they had even parted.
She lifted a leg and draped it over his hip, seeking the pressure, the closeness, the oblivion.
His growing need pressed against her center.
Suddenly, she wasn’t caring so much about packing.
She needed Marshall as much as she needed air.
Marshall gently rolled her over onto her back, their bodies clinging to each other, reluctant to be separated.
Lifting himself up on one arm, he took one of her hands and pressed it to his chest. The steady rhythm of his heart sent waves of sensations through her.
A powerful response bloomed in her chest, warmth spreading from where they connected.
“You feel that?” he asked.
A nod was all she could give, sadness encroaching, its heavy weight attacking the small glimmer of joy that remained within.
“It’s yours if you want it,” he said softly. “I’m not sure what it’s worth, but take it with you. Then you know I’ll always come back to get it.” His mouth curved into a flirty smile.
Her breath caught in her chest, the admission achingly beautiful in its simplicity and honesty.
Could she tell him the same? Tell him that his heart was the greatest thing he could ever give her?
Colette’s mind was a mess of misery and pure happiness.
She tilted her hips, pressing them against his erection, and pulled him down, capturing his mouth.
Desperate for a distraction, she opened up to him.
It would have to last until the next time they would be together.
There was no way to anticipate when she would see him again once she left.
The stakes were too high; he had too much to lose.
Until then, they had this moment.
A moment when they could belong to each other.
Melding their bodies and sating their unquenchable need.
She would surrender to the sensation, regardless of how fleeting it was.
It was the only way she would survive what was to come.