Chapter 5 Christmas Crusader Unmasked
Christmas Crusader Unmasked
Sam Autry was a sight to behold this early in the morning, in the Mistletoe Elementary School no less.
He was wearing worn jeans and equally worn work boots, as well as a professional but sporty quarter zip with a pocket logo that said Holiday Brights, wrapped in cartoon Christmas Lights.
The kid was swinging punches at a grinning Sam, while Sam easily dodged all the violence.
“Lose something?” His low voice was taunting, smug.
“Why are you holding that . . .” Delinquent? Heathen? Anarchist? “child like that?”
“This is Brody,” Sam explained. “He’s my nephew.”
I met Sam’s twinkling green eyes. “Ah. That explains the mischief.” I had only run for a few seconds before I caught up to Brody Perkins. Why did I suddenly feel lightheaded and sweaty?
He lifted Brody higher, so they were closer to being eye-to-eye. “What mischief, nephew?”
I knew the blood was probably rushing to his little head by now, but the boy’s jaw squared, and he folded his arms across his upside-down chest. His floppy hair, wrangled by gravity, hung in staticky waves toward the floor. “She murdered Mrs. B.”
Sam chuckled as he flipped Brody around and landed him on his feet, his big hands clamping down on Brody’s shoulders to lock him into place. “She didn’t murder Mrs. B, ding dong. You saw the baby over the weekend when your mom took you over there.” To me he said, “Sarah and Delia are best friends.”
Brody growled.
Sam put his hands on either side of Brody’s face and forced him to look at him. “You need to be nice to Ms. Haden.”
“Why?” Brody asked through smooshed cheeks.
“Because I like her.”
Misunderstanding his uncle’s attempt at kindness, Brody said, “Ewww.”
Panic sizzled through my body, zapping all the important organs that should be working on an escape plan but were instead trying not to laugh at how cute and naughty Brody Perkins was.
Sam looked at me and winked. Panic turned to apoplexy, and I accidentally died on the spot. I wasn’t the murderer. Sam Autry was the murderer.
He looked back at his wiggling nephew. “Yeah, ew. But if you stress her out, she’s never going to say yes to a date with me.”
Brody stared at me with bug eyes, his eyebrows lost under the flop of his blonde hair. “You want to go on a date with Bam Bam?”
Sense slammed into me from the back. Like a gust of wind intent on knocking intelligence back into my fuzzy head.
I narrowed my eyes at Brody. “Your uncle is Bam Bam?” He nodded, face still squished.
“No, no I do not want to go on a date with Bam Bam. But I would like to go back to class. Are you ready?” I held out my hand, not sure if he would take it, but needing to do something productive.
Sam released Brody’s cheeks, tousling his hair and knocking his glasses askew. “You need to be good, B. No more evil sub propaganda, okay?”
Brody did not look convinced.
Sam squatted down to his level and met his defiant gaze with one of his own.
“Calling someone a murderer is not funny. It’s mean.
Are you a mean kid?” Brody shook his head, finally looking a little guilty.
“And is it fair your class has to wait for Ms. Haden to come get you before they can learn something today?” Brody shook his head again, his mouth pressing into a frown.
“And Christmas is right around the corner, dude. Do you want to get put on the naughty list?” His frown turned all the way upside down.
“A little harsh,” I whispered.
Sam looked up at me from where he knelt on one knee and wrinkled his nose at me. “Priorities, Holly.” He turned back to Brody. “Now, go on and be good.”
Brody leaned in and whispered, “Do you really want to go on a date with my teacher?”
Sam leaned in too, dropping his voice not nearly quiet enough. “I do.” He put his hand up and covered his mouth as if telling Brody a secret I couldn’t know. “I even want to kiss her.”
Brody broke out into uncontrollable giggles. “Okay, Bam Bam,” he said through bouts of laughter. “I’ll put in a good word for you.”
“Appreciate it.” Sam pulled him in for a quick hug, then stood back up to his full height.
Brody skipped off to class like nothing weird had happened at all. Frazzled, confused, and hot for no reason at all, I made to follow him.
A rough, warm hand grabbed mine before I could get away. I looked back to find Sam still standing there, green eyes blazing. “He’s a good kid. Just . . . just a bit dramatic.”
I nodded, having already sensed that. “I really need him to stop calling me a murderer, though.”
Sam’s face split with an amused grin. “Too many video games, I’m afraid.”
“Threatening Christmas?” I hoped my expression was censuring. But it was hard to know what face I was making because Sam’s hand was still wrapped around mine and he’d taken a step closer. “That’s not very nice.”
He shrugged and pointed to the pocket logo.
“He thinks I know Santa because my company does all the lights in town. I think Sarah told him I was Santa’s helper one year and he thought that meant I’m a Christmas Elf .
. . so here we are. He does tend to listen to me really well around the holidays, though. ”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “A Christmas Elf?”
“Don’t I look the part?”
No. No, he did not. Unless Christmas Elves were always six-three, sexy as sin, and . . . and evil.
I pulled my hand away and started back down the hallway. “You do,” I said over my shoulder. “Exactly how I imagine they all look at the North Pole.”
“I meant what I told Brody,” he said, unfazed by my underhanded comment. This time I didn’t turn around. “I want to take you out on a date.”
His voice chased after me as I hurried back into the absolute chaos of first grade, the door closing behind me with a satisfied snick.
My heart was tripping over itself as I focused on the wide-eyed, slightly traumatized room full of first graders.
Sam Autry was in the building, possibly right outside my door, spewing bullshit about dates and kissing and . . .
At least one mystery had been solved. I now knew who was responsible for the Christmas extravaganza on every corner and rooftop in this whole damn town.
“Brody has something he’d like to say to you,” I announced loudly, calling for their attention. “Don’t you, Brody?”
His whole face wrinkled in concentration, then he sighed so big both his shoulders lifted and fell. “Fine.” Not a great introduction, but I gestured for him to keep going. “Apparently, she’s not a murderer.” Another big sigh. “Apparently she’s my uncle’s girlfriend, and he wants to kiss her.”
The class erupted in giggles. The sweet sounds should have been the cutest thing I’d ever heard, but I couldn’t get my face to cooperate. It was frozen in horror as I stared at this holy terror of a child.
I watched a girl with beaded braids lean over and repeat “he wants to kiss her” to her friend in something that could never be called a whisper. The kids’ giddy laughter started all over again.
My cheeks flamed with heat, but I was the teacher, the adult, the only person in the room who could wrangle this day back under control, or at least settle them down before we had to walk to Library in ten-ish minutes.
“Okay, wild things, settle down. Nobody is kissing anybody.” A red-haired little boy with the most freckles I’d ever seen fell on the ground, he was laughing so hard. A giggle bubbled up in my chest. I turned to Brody. “What have you done?”
He leaned forward. “Nobody’s talking about a murderer, are they?”
“You’re a genius, an evil genius.” He pushed his glasses up his button nose and grinned at me as if I’d just given him the highest compliment.
“You’re welcome.”
I could see he was wise beyond his years—not in a good way, but maybe in a useful way. “If we walk to the library, are we going to run into your uncle again?”
His face scrunched up once more as he thought about it. “Not if we go the long way.”
“Is the long way going to get me into trouble?”
“Not bad trouble.”
I nibbled my lip and wondered if he even knew the answer to the question I was asking. “Like, are they going to call parents and ask me not to come back?”
“Use the thing,” he said, pointing at the walkie-talkie still sitting on my desk. “Just tell Ms. Monika you’re taking us on a walk.” When all I did was narrow my eyes, he laughed a high-pitched sound and wiggled his body like only a six-year-old boy could. “It’s safe. I promise.”
Why was I trusting Brody Perkins immediately after he’d told the entire class I was a murderer? Because I was desperate. And flustered. And still very hot.
“Class, Brody is going to lead us on a nature walk to Library.” All sixteen kids perked up. “Stay in line and do not touch anything, okay?”
This was met with a round of excited yeses. I had a whole toolbelt of teacher strategies and tricks to use with wily littles. I had ways to make sure they stayed quiet, followed single file, and listened and responded immediately to me.
But I’d managed to forget all of them just because the owner of Holiday Brights was suddenly everywhere, all over this town I’d tried to leave, holding his adorably naughty nephew by the ankle, telling children he wanted to kiss me, making me forget why I’d written him off all those years ago.
This wasn’t how I was supposed to come home. But here I was, sneaking a whole first-grade class out an emergency exit, praying Brody was planning to lead us back into the building and not on some wild goose chase fueled by his maniacal imagination.
Thankfully, Monika didn’t seem phased when I told her we were going outside.
And thankfully, even though we walked straight into Sam Autry as he was reworking some light display on the side of the school building—as if Brody had chipped his uncle and knew exactly where he was going to be at all times—he didn’t bother us as we traipsed past him.
Nor did he react with anything other than a smirk when Brody told the red-headed boy behind him “that’s the uncle Ms. Haden wants to kiss. ”
Most of all, thankfully, we did find the library. Eventually. Seven minutes later than the librarian was expecting us.
But hey, I didn’t get fired on my first day, and I survived murder rumors. So all in all, not a bad start.