30. Chapter 30 - Minnie
I head onto Main Street, heart racing. What was I thinking, leading an army of twenty-six giant chipmunks through Silver Springs?
Someone will recognize that the clothes, bags and shoes they’re carrying are mine.
“Chipmunk merchants!” I shout at anyone who passes by. “Just chipmunk shifters selling high-end fashion.”
Yeah right.
I wait for someone to call me out on it. To shout that I’m a liar. To call the police. But the wards keep humans from seeing anything unusual, and supes spare me and my crew a curious glance before continuing on their way.
Kids are the only ones who show any interest at all. They stop to watch, and their parents pull out their phones and snap pictures of their wide-eyed little ones watching the chipmunk parade.
They’ll get posted on Screech. Amber will see them. What if she asks questions?
But by then, I’ll be all moved into my new house. There’ll be no evidence we ever lived at the bakery at all. I hope…
I almost convince myself this is going to work when I spot Sapphire.
She’s dressed in her signature hoodie and flanked by two of her mates.
Ford the pegasus shifter is in human form, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, and Wim the wolf shifter is following behind them with his head bent over his phone.
I look left. I look right. I consider diving behind the giant blue recycle bin in a nearby alley.
“Minnie!” Sapphire shouts.
“They’re chipmunk merchants,” I shout back before she has a chance to ask.
She eyes the chipmunks and then points to a purse Blaze is carrying. “I’ll take that.”
“What?” I look from her, to the chipmunk, to her men in a panic.
Wim looks up briefly from his phone. “The purse? Really?”
Sapphire smirks. “I’m going to set it on fire.”
“Tempting…” I mutter.
The purse is bright pink, like everything I own, and pretty hideous. Maude Montgomery gave it to me for my twentieth birthday, and spent a full five minutes raving about how it was absolutely stunning, one of a kind, designer, and, most importantly, expensive.
I wouldn’t mind burning it… if it wasn’t stuffed full of my underwear. Not just some of my underwear. All of it! And given the Maude-approved length of every dress I own, commando is not an option.
Sapphire’s pegasus shifter—who comes from a family as ancient and rich as my own—steps in front of Blaze.
“You can’t take the purse,” I cry.
Sapphire gives me a questioning look. “They’re merchants, right? So I’m buying it.”
Ford takes his wallet out of his suit pocket. “Do you take card?” he asks Blaze.
I feel like I’m going to be sick. I can’t let Sapphire burn my underwear. And I definitely can’t let her find my underwear. She’s going to ask questions, and then she’ll figure it out, and tell everyone in town, and… and…
“Is he a danger to you?” Blaze asks, and I realize I’m hyperventilating.
I quickly shake my head in an emphatic ‘no.’
“What about him?” Blaze wiggles her nose in Wim’s direction.
I realize he’s stripping off his shirt and my eyes widen. Is he getting naked in the middle of the street?
“You can’t take off your clothes,” I cry. We’re getting enough attention as it is!
“It’s for a photo,” he tells me.
“I’ll pay for it,” Ford adds, extending his credit card again. Then, his nose scrunches up like he’s going to sneeze. “Oh no, fur. Ah…ah…” He freezes, his face wrinkled up.
“Don’t sneeze!” I cry.
When Ford sneezes, he shifts. When he shifts, his clothes shred, and he becomes a pegasus. Which is all fine and good until he shifts back. Then, he just ends up naked.
“Sneeze, sneeze, sneeze,” Sapphire chants.
As if people aren’t staring enough already.
The crowd around us has grown since Sapphire’s arrival. A teen is recording a dance with the chipmunks as a backdrop—actually a bunch of people have their phones out—and a little girl Natty’s age keeps pulling her mom closer, asking to pet the chipmunks.
I wish my little boy were here. He’d love being part of our chipmunk pseudo-parade. And I could add a photo of him grinning up at a chipmunk to my album. Another memory to look back at when Zachariah takes him away.
“Are you okay?” Sapphire asks me. “You look like you dropped your ice cream cone, and a dog ate it before you could.”
“You’d eat ice cream off the ground?”
“You wouldn’t?”
I shake my head.
She gives me a long look. I know she can tell I’m not okay, and force myself to smile.
If I was on Formula M, I shouldn’t have this problem. My expression would always be neutral, and my thoughts wouldn’t keep spiraling into full-blown panic.
I relax my face, put on a more neutral expression, and promise myself I’m calling the Warshire Witch as soon as I get to the house. I need Formula M 2.0.
“I’m fine,” I lie. “My feet just hurt.” I gesture at my shoes.
“Do you want me to burn them too?”
Yes. “No.”
“I guess I’m not allergic to chipmunks,” Ford says. “If Visa doesn’t work, I also have Mastercard,” he says to Blaze as he opens his wallet again.
The chipmunk glances at it, and then at Wim as he moves to stand next to one of her friends and holds out his phone, making a duck face as he snaps a selfie. “Perfect! I needed a new theme for my socials.”
Ford offers his credit card to Blaze one more time.
“Can you tell him to stop pointing that thing at my face before I make him?” Blaze demands.
Last thing I need is a chipmunk-pegasus showdown.
“Um…” I say, drawing a blank. How do I get out of this?
“I think they only take cash… or maybe nuts,” Sapphire says and chuckles. “Hehe nuts.”
“I got nuts right here,” Wim says and winks.
“We have to go,” I say.
“But the purse,” Sapphire says. “And fire!”
“I bought it,” I tell her.
“What about the dresses?” she points at one of Blaze’s friends.
“I bought them too. I bought everything the chipmunks are carrying. They’re delivering it to my place.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but I interrupt.
“The photo’s free,” I quickly say, and my body twitches as I add, “Let’s go, merchants.”
I expect Sapphire to stop me and demand the truth, but she and her guys head on their way.