2. Hollywood
2
HOLLYWOOD
“Y ou ever been waxed from ass crack to nut sack, forced in a suit, and shoved up on stage to be auctioned off for charity?” I asked, wiping my hands on an oil rag as I approached Bear and Thor, both working on a Chevy pickup that had been brought in yesterday. Bear’s boots hung out from underneath the front while Thor leaned over the hood, clenching his hands around a wrench.
“No,” Bear grumbled. “And if you’ve got nothing to do but talk about your nut sack, you could hand me that Phillips-head by your left foot.”
I bent down to get the screwdriver, placing it in Bear’s outstretched palm before continuing. “I don’t know if the fact it’s for Pollux makes me more or less of a whore for a good cause.”
“You don’t have to sleep with the winner, Hollywood,” Thor said, tightening the nut farther into place while Bear held the bolt firm. “In fact, I think Alba will insist that you don’t.”
I clapped Thor on the back and grinned. “Don’t worry about that, my brother. I assure you, the days of a free-dicking Hollywood are gone.”
“God,” Thor said, straightening, before wiping his dirty hands on his shirt. “Go find something better to do before I do it for you.”
“You see,” I continued, ignoring his protests for the sake of the punch line, “despite the outcry of millions of broken hearts, I’ve taken a vow of chastity.”
Bear snorted a laugh and scooted out from under the truck.
“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Hollywood! How could you?’” I grabbed my chest in mock dramatics, sighing as Thor rolled his eyes. “It’s a terrible sacrifice I had to make for my own well-being. You understand, don’t you? I mean, you’re off the market now. How long were you whacking it solo before Selene finally?—”
I ducked out of the way just in time to miss his massive fist as it flew at my face.
“Find something to do, Hollywood,” Thor growled.
“Temper, temper. I tugged too hard on the wolf’s tail.” Mirth singing in my blood from getting under his skin, I laughed and walked back toward the Honda I’d been working on all morning. “I’ll keep Selene’s name out of my daily dick updates ... I call them dick-dates.”
Thor glared at me while he backed into the customer service area, his features lighting up as soon as he set them on his wife, who currently read a book behind the counter.
“Anything I need to know about Leo duty tonight?” Bear took a drink of water and sat down on the chair next to the truck, tilting his head to the side while he waited for my answer.
“He’s healing up,” I said, “but Saint says he’s still not talking to anyone but me.”
Bear nodded. “Good. It should be an easy shift, then.”
Six months ago, we’d abducted Leo Caputi, the heir apparent of the notorious Caputi Mafia. For the first few weeks, he’d been detoxing off a bunch of shit and hadn’t spoken to us. Around Christmas, Selene had insisted he be moved to a house, and the only MC-owned space that didn’t have someone living in it was the two-bedroom I’d once shared with my older brother, Trojan. I had since moved in with Saint and Ru, but I came by daily to nurse the fucker back to health per a personal request from Crow. Leo had settled in and, after Selene did surgery on his knee to reset the poorly healed joint, he seemed to be doing much better. But being in that house again ... looking at all the things I’d left behind ... my chest ached just thinking about it.
Trojan had died while trying to protect Alba and Ru from Leo’s uncle, Benito, the former boss of the Caputi crime family. After his death, the family had been taken over by his widow, Gabriella. We were still trying to figure out how to take her down.
Of everything I’d lost in my life, of everything that fate had stolen from me, that one hurt the most. I should have gotten over it by now as it had almost been two years, but in my darkest moments, I’d admit I probably never would.
I opened my mouth to tell Bear good luck, but my phone vibrated and cut me off. I reached into my back pocket, and after recognizing the number, I headed toward the door so I could take it outside.
“Will you accept the collect call from Allegheny County Penitentiary?” the robot voice asked.
“Yes.” I reached into my pocket for my cigarettes, pulling one out to light it while I waited to be connected.
“Matty?” came my mother’s hoarse voice. “Matty, is that you?”
“Hiya, Momma,” I said, clenching my eyes shut at how horrible she sounded. She’d been a smoker all my life, but these years in prison had not been good to her. “How ya feeling?”
“Like rotten hell,” she said. “But it’s so good to hear your voice.”
“You, too,” I said, smiling. “Tell me what you’ve been doing.”
“Not much of anything,” she confessed before updating me about her sewing job and how little she’d made last week. “I hate to be trouble, but I need shampoo and conditioners.”
“I’ll put some cash in your account as soon as we hang up.” I’d been taking care of her ever since Trojan died, sending her as much as I could every month. It never made a dent in helping her well-being, but I’d like to think it did more good than bad. “How’s everything else?”
“Everything is all right, baby boy. How are you?”
I filled her in on the garage and the upcoming charity auction for Pollux. “I’m living with Saint and Ru, but I think I need to find a new place.” They were still in the honeymoon phase of their reunion, and not that sex normally bothered me, but when I wasn’t getting any of my own, I itched hearing it through the walls.
“It’s good to talk to you, Momma,” I said at the end. “Will you call me tomorrow?”
“I’ll try,” she said. “I love you.”
“Love you most.” We hung up and I cleared my throat, swallowing back the shame that usually burned in my gut when I talked to my mother. Images of being that scared little boy floated through my mind—the feel of the gun in my hand, the warmth of brains splattered on my face, the wail that had come out of her mouth after it’d happened.
“Don’t you ever blame yourself for that,” Trojan had once told me. “He got what was coming to him.”
I repeated that to myself and stuffed those complicated emotions deep down inside where they couldn’t gnaw at me.
“Hey, you still working on this Honda or what?” Bear said, leaning out of the door with his eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, just taking a smoke break.” I flicked my cigarette out and went back inside, determined to get the damn thing going before I left.
I hadn’t always worked at Rose Garage. Back when Trojan had been alive, I only took shifts when times were rough. With no older brother looking out for me and Mom, I had to make up for both of us, and Thor needed the help now that KC’s cam-star career was taking off.
Trojan and I had come to the SRMC when I was twelve. After Mom went away, someone had to take care of me. My brother hadn’t even blinked before signing the guardianship papers and moving me from Pittsburgh to Madison County. He joined the SRMC shortly after that and got married to Marissa, the love of his life and one of the most awesome women I’d ever met. Once I turned eighteen, I prospected my way right on in with KC and Bear.
They’d been my best friends since we were kids, but once we’d patched in, they’d become brothers. I’d give my life for them and nearly had on several occasions. The oath I’d sworn to the Roses had protected me more times than I’d done for it, and I considered it my highest honor to call myself a part of their family. Besides, it wasn’t like I had an old lady or kids waiting for me at home. Compared to every other brother, I was dispensable, just another body in the war against the Caputis.
I used to revel in everything that came with being a part of a MC—the drugs, the booze, the women. God, the women. I’d known I was good-looking since I hit puberty and people my mother’s age started grabbing my ass whenever they wanted. Once I discovered I liked men too, they did the same. What could I say, I loved the attention. Who wouldn’t?
The problem came after Trojan died, and I realized all those meaningless hookups were just that. Worthless. Emotionless. I saw the intense intimacy KC and Alba had when they looked at each other. I watched Saint and Ru come to terms with their own adoration after keeping it secret for so long. Thor and Selene had finally gotten together after years of chasing after each other’s tails. I was never gonna have that if I didn’t clean up my act. It took one conversation with Ru to realize that if I ever wanted to find a love like that, I needed to take myself more seriously, perhaps starting by keeping my dick in my pants until I found someone worth taking it out for.
Losing my brother so young made me appreciate the fact that life was too short to live the way I was, and if I kept going, I wasn’t going to have anything to show for it but an early grave right next to Trojan. At least he had a widow. At least he had someone who could say they loved him and knew him better than anyone else in the world. All anyone had of me was the persona I put on every morning like a mask: good ole Hollywood, the guy with a smile for everyone, the one who would let anyone in his bed.
By the end of the day, I still didn’t have the Honda working and I’d run out of ideas. Frustrated and resolved to work on it tomorrow, I dropped off the ticket to Selene on my way to the time punch.
“I’ll have to check it out again later.” I shook my head and scratched at the back of my hair. “The CPU could be busted.”
Selene nodded and smiled. “Sure. I’ll see you at the clubhouse later.”
“You got it.” I cleared my throat and swallowed down the guilt of what I was about to ask. I figured Selene would be a good person because she had a reputation of keeping her mouth shut and not digging too deep. “Hey, do you know if V is planning to come?”
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, assessing me for any sign of weakness. Like her husband, she was a hunter and sniffed out injured prey a mile away. “I think so. Why do you ask?”
“No reason.” I tried to play it off like my gut wasn’t doing Goddamned somersaults, and I hitched my jeans higher on my hips. “I was just curious ... ya know ... who all is gonna be there and what not.”
“Uh-huh.” Selene tilted her head to the side, her bright blue eyes shimmering like she saw through me, all the way down to my bullshit. As my best friend’s twin sister, she had known me as long as him and nearly as well. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your little freak out at the Beacon’s reopening ... would it?”
“I didn’t freak out.” I didn’t. I swear I didn’t. Was it startling to see V decked out in leather with a crop in her hand? Yes. Was it even more shocking to see her skill with a cat-o’-nine-tails? Absolutely. Did it rattle me to the very core of my sick, perverted, sex-deprived heart? I plead the fifth.
“Sure,” she said, taking a step closer to me. “Then what would make you get up and walk away while your buddy’s sister was on stage performing her heart out?” Selene furrowed her eyebrows, pretending to play dumb. “Are you suddenly a big prude?”
“No,” I spat, physically repulsed by the idea. If anyone in the MC were comfortable with their sexual liberation, it was me. I didn’t limit myself to pussy. I enjoyed all humans, everything being a solid three on the Kinsey scale meant to our species. “I needed to get some air.” I coughed, my throat suddenly too dry. “Besides, it was lucky I did, considering what happened afterward.”
The whole place had exploded.
“Okay.” Selene let out a small laugh and shook her head like she could see Liar stamped on my forehead. She patted my shoulder as she passed me, heading toward Thor’s office in the back. “Have a nice night, Hollywood.”
“Yeah, you, too.” I turned and put my sunglasses on before heading out to my beat-up two-door pickup I’d inherited from Trojan ten years ago. It drained batteries and leaked oil like a son of a bitch, but I couldn’t afford anything else, so I had to keep it running until the wheels fell off. After swinging by the house, where thankfully Ru and Saint weren’t home, I grabbed a quick shower and tried to forget about that conversation with Selene.
Seeing V up on stage dominating our friend, Candy, lived in the darkest parts of my imagination. But if I were honest with myself, something had changed with her the moment she came home from college. When we were in school, she was Bear’s little sister—the goth girl that gave me shit for sleeping around and wearing more hair products than she did. She’d gone away and come back a fucking powerhouse. She’d grown into her curves, confidence radiating out of every pore, and when she stared at me with that heated violet gaze, preparing to cut me down to size, I hung on the edge of my seat, just waiting to see what she would say.
Of course, she didn’t think of me that way, and up until that night at the Beacon, I’d been very careful not to think of her that way, too. But fuck me ... the dreams I’d had since then would make Bear beat my face in. If her brothers found out the things I’d been thinking, if her father found out, they’d feed me to the pigs. I was secure enough in my masculinity to admit when I was outnumbered, and the Montgomery men would pummel me for even considering it.
Standing in the shower, the house blissfully silent, I let myself sink into that fantasy again—the one where she tied me to a chair, my hands linked behind my back with ropes holding down my shivering muscles and anticipation brewing in my gut at watching her slink closer. She wore her chunky platform boots, a tiny black miniskirt with metal chains, and a cropped Bad Company T-shirt, arguably the most underrated band of all time.
“You’ve been such a naughty boy, Hudson,” she said, using my last name.
Bound and gagged like this, all I could do was murmur a quiet, “Yes, ma’am.”
“You’ve got a lot of making up to do, you sick little perv.” She slapped the riding crop in her other hand as she circled me, waiting until she was behind me to lean down and whisper in my ear. “You think I don’t know that you stand in the cold shower and pull your dick thinking about me? You think I don’t see the way you stare? Oh, I know what you want, you nasty fuck.”
I gulped, watching as she came back around to the front, stepping in between my bare legs to stare down at me like a disapproving Goddess to her reckless devotee.
I’ve been bad. So, so bad. Do it. I deserve it.
“And I’m going to give it to you.” V raised the crop and brought it down with a harsh thwack on the inside of my leg.
The sting feels so good, and it’s for her. She owns me. She owns every part of my body. I let her have it.
I didn’t stand a chance. The idea of her using me the way she’d used Candy, bringing me unimaginable pain mixed with the release of incredible ecstasy, had me shooting my load down the drain before I could catch my breath.
Perhaps it was the eight months with no action that had me leaning up against the shower wall and panting like a raging alcoholic in a distillery. I’d never come like that thinking about anyone else in my life, which was probably why she kept the starring role.
Was it because she was Bear’s little sister, the most forbidden of fruits? Or was it because she complemented the side of me that wanted to submit, the side that wanted someone to take control, to take my worst behavior out on my ass?
Everyone I’d ever met saw my face and treated me a certain way because of it. Not V. She was the only one who clawed at me, desperate to draw blood no matter where she swiped ... and God help me, I fucking wanted her to bleed me dry.
* * *
I spotted Verona the moment I arrived, sitting with Selene and Thor in the audience. She had on that black miniskirt from my daydream and a Van Halen crop top with a big fluffy black sweater that looked soft and fuzzy. I immediately wanted to curl up in her lap, let her run her fingers through my hair, and bury my face in her secret places.
Despite all the people I’d fucked, all the people I’d effortlessly charmed into my bed, I suddenly didn’t know how to act around this one girl—and not even because something weird had happened between us. No, it was because I wanted the worst fucking things in the world from her, and I simply couldn’t have them.
Nope.
Shouldn’t want them. Couldn’t think about wanting them. And every time I did, I deserved to be strung up and whipped. Fuck, I wonder how hard she could hit.
No. No. No.
Shoving that deep down inside where no one could see it, I put on my Hollywood mask and made the rounds, laughing and hugging everyone I called family.
“Heya, Ruthie,” I said, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. Even though I lived with her, I relished any time we got to spend together. She was one of my best friends, the proverbial little sister I’d never had. When Saint started fucking around with her heart, I’d stepped in to remind him who and what she was. No one fucked with any of my girls like that and got away with it, especially not Ru.
“Hey, Hollywood. Are you ready for this?” She wagged her eyebrows. “I overheard the hang-arounds talking about how there’s a pool on when and with whom you’ll break your celibate streak.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows, suddenly intrigued. “How big’s the pot? Maybe I ought to get in on that action.” I could use the money.
She laughed and pulled me into a hug before letting me go so she could head toward the stage to finish getting things ready. I joked with Wheels and wrestled with Lore, happy I could put a smile on the lonely brother’s face. Last summer, he’d been maimed by the Caputis and hadn’t really bounced back. He was a nice guy, and he’d looked out for Ru when no one else had, so I figured it was the least I could do.
Verona had finally caught sight of me and stood to walk closer, her gaze piercing through my heavily guarded fortress like a laser. I had to get out of here. I had to move before I smelled her delicious perfume and whatever it was that drew me in like a succubus.
I turned to make for the bathroom but ran face-first into Chelsea, the last hang-around I’d hooked up with before deciding to quit cold turkey. It had been months, but every so often, she came trailing around again like a feral kitten that knew I’d feed her if she meowed hard enough. Not that our time together hadn’t been nice; it had just been same as all the other people before it—physical and devoid of anything special. I didn’t want that anymore. I thought ... Well, maybe I thought I deserved better, that Trojan died so I could have better.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed up on her toes to press her entire body against mine.
“I want you deep inside my ass, Hollywood,” she said. “It’s been so long.”
Good fucking God. These women are ruthless.
“I already told you,” I said, pulling her arms down so I could push her back. “I’m taking a break.”
She blinked up at me with disappointment in her big eyes and a pout on her lips. “Not even for me?”
Especially not for you.
“I’m sorry, sugar.” I brushed a piece of hair out of her face and pushed it back behind her ear. “But hey, if you’ve got the money, you can bid on a few hours of my time.”
Her face lit up like I’d told her the winning lotto numbers, and she wrapped her arms around my waist tighter.
“A few PG hours of my time,” I corrected, disentangling myself from her embrace again before she got handsy.
That deflated her ego, and she backed away with a frown. “I’ll see you then.”
Trying not to grimace at the thought of attempting to keep her off me if she won, I walked toward Alba, who was waving at me from the side of the stage where she stood next to KC.
“You look great, Hollywood,” she said, brushing her hands over the shoulders of my blazer. “Where’d you find this?”
“It was Trojan’s.” I shrugged, trying not to make anyone cry at his memory. “I think he wore it to prom.”
Alba laughed and hugged me while KC shook his head and lit a cigarette.
“You clean up nice, old sport,” KC said, patting me on the cheek like a grandpa sending one of his grandchildren off to school on their first day.
“Yeah? You, too.” I nodded and fixed my jacket, buttoning it together to make myself look more dapper. He, of course, was still wearing jeans and his cut, indicating he had no intention of getting up on that stage to take one for the team.
Coward.
Though, to be fair, Alba would probably claw a girl’s eyes out before anyone else got their hands on him.
Ru climbed the platform to get things started and rev up the crowd while I stood on the sidelines waiting for my turn to go.
“Thank you all for coming,” Ru said. “As you know, the proceeds from tonight will go to help our brother, Pollux, recover and pay his medical bills, which are piling up, so please be generous.”
The crowd whooped and hollered, clapping for Ru as she went on. She called the brothers up one at a time and read their highlight reel out to the audience.
“Skulls is a graduate of Baltimore College,” she said, gesturing to the brother in question while he model-walked his way to the middle of the stage and grinned into the spotlight. “He’s six foot three-inches of intimidating fun, working as a bouncer at the Viper. When he’s not keeping dive bars safe, he enjoys reading and romantic walks on the beach.”
Skulls narrowed his eyes at that last embellishment but maintained his forced smile while the bidding began. After one of the old ladies won, he stepped off the stage so that Ru could call up the next brother, Switch, our resident IT guru.
“He’s smart,” Ru said, “and he’s good with his fingers, ladies. He can type over two hundred words a minute. Give him anyone to track down, he’ll find them in under an hour.” She rattled on about Switch’s most precious assets, and after he went for two hundred dollars, I figured the night would go well for Pollux. The brothers after him went for a similar amount, and all was going fine until Aris started a bidding war among three of the hang-arounds. Everyone else found it hilarious, but I worried about the veep. Until recently, he’d never been one to sleep around, not with club girls. I figured he musta hit a midlife crisis going a thousand miles an hour, especially after his daughter, Ru, got engaged to his best friend, Saint.
Maybe I ought to try talking to him after this is over. Maybe I can cheer him up. That could help, right?
“Are you ready?” Alba finally asked, squeezing my shoulders and bringing me back to reality.
“Of course. I’m always ready.” I straightened my suit jacket and grinned, giving her a wink that had her rolling her eyes with a laugh.
“There’s a reason they put you last,” KC said, clapping me on the back.
“I’m hoping you clean house.” Alba smiled and cupped both sides of my face before giving each of my cheeks a big kiss. “Go make me proud.”
Once upon a time, KC had dated a hang-around, Nikki, before she turned traitor and betrayed us to the Caputis. Their relationship had been one of the most toxic things I’d ever witnessed. When KC met Alba, I worried it might end up being the same thing, but they balanced each other out more than I could have ever hoped. She brightened his world, and he kept her safe, giving her a place to call home. I envied what they had with a passion—the intimacy, the adoration, the trust in another person to be a peaceful haven.
“And last up,” Ru said, drawing my attention back to the stage. “You’ve all been waiting for him. Hell, he’s probably the reason most of you are here. Let’s give it up for Hollywood!”
I walked up on the platform, waving to the crowd of hang-arounds, members, and old ladies. Everyone clapped, some whistling and shouting, “Take it off!”
I laughed, amused and delighted by the attention. I knew I looked good. I took great pride in staying that way. If I wasn’t at the garage or Saint’s house, I was in the clubhouse’s makeshift gym behind the back rooms. Of course, my Leo babysitting duties and extra shifts at the shop had put a damper on that recently, but I still got it in when I could.
“By day, Hollywood is a mechanic, but by night, he has been known to prowl the clubhouse with his charismatic grin, searching for anyone who might need a laugh.” Ru read a SparkNotes version of my life from an index card while whoever ran the music blasted “Whatta Man” by Salt-N-Pepa over the speaker. “We’ll start the bidding at one hundred dollars.”
Chelsea was the first to raise her bid.
“I see one hundred,” Ru said. “Do I have two?”
KC made everyone laugh by putting up his number. “I need help renovating the Beacon.”
I chuckled and shook my head, knowing I’d do it regardless, but I was happy he’d pushed the bid higher.
“Two hundred,” Ru added. “Anyone going for three?”
Chelsea fought back, shooting a sneer at KC while she raised her marker. Then another hang-around, Amber, joined her and my heart dropped into my gut. I hadn’t talked to Amber in months, not since that awkward drunken night between us, and not that I’d mind a few hours in her company, but she’d probably want to fuck. That was all anyone ever wanted from me.
I cleared my throat and tried to smile wider, knowing a million eyes were on me and they’d see any sign of insecurity. Besides, the money went to a good cause, right? Pollux would have some of his medical bills paid, and all I had to do was sit through an afternoon of a beautiful woman pawing at my bits. I’d done worse for less.
After those two duked it out up to five hundred dollars, someone else joined the fray, someone I’d been avoiding for weeks now, someone I purposely hadn’t looked at or talked to for reasons I couldn’t explain.
“Eight hundred dollars,” Verona said, raising an eyebrow at Chelsea before shooting a side-eye at Amber. My pulse hammered through my body, thrumming down to my cock before traveling the length of my legs and back up again. My grin tightened. My hands clenched into fists before I consciously relaxed them.
What the fuck does she want with me?