Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
CHARLOTTE
One minute we were enjoying tacos in post-coital bliss and making small talk in my kitchen, and the next he was pushing for yet another step toward a full-blown relationship. Why couldn’t he leave things where they were for a beat?
“Gabriel—”
He got up, all taut lines and frustration, and God help me, the sight of him shirtless weakened my resolve. “It’s fine. If you’re not ready, it’s fine.”
His voice wasn’t angry. It was hurt. And that made it worse.
“The interviews are this week,” I tried, my throat tight. “Until we know the decision—”
“And then what?” His eyes searched mine. “What changes? You have feelings for me. I sure as hell have them for you. Why are we pretending we don’t?”
“Because everything changes,” I whispered. “You being in my head before the most important interview of my career is—” I stopped short, realizing it was coming out wrong.
His jaw tightened. “So that’s all this is? I’m in your head, hoping it’ll what? Throw you off your game so I can have the job?”
“That’s not what I meant—”
Gabriel sighed. “But what? I’m asking too much?”
Maybe he was. “It’s going too fast.”
He left, the sound of his footsteps sounding on the stairs. He was back down in minutes, his shirt halfway on.
“I’m just asking for some time before we meet families.”
“I’ve met your family. You’ve met Samantha. Why is this the step freaking you out?”
Because I’d already become attached, and once the job was determined, I wondered how much it would hurt when it all fell apart. “I’m asking for more time.”
“So you’ve said twice now. But for someone decisive about everything else in her life, it’s clear this isn’t anywhere near the top of your list.”
“Gabe—”
He looked up, his eyes dark with frustration and something deeper. “Maybe I’m asking for a kind of trust you’re not capable of. I can’t shake the feeling that in two weeks, when this promotion’s decided, there’ll be yet another excuse.”
By then, the entire dynamic would have changed. Unless of course neither of us got the job.
My silence spoke for me. He turned and walked out.
The click of the front door closing behind him echoed like a final word I never said.
Fuck.
“Why are you riding your bike like your ass gave up on life?” Michelle called out the next night, effortlessly cutting through the blaring soundtrack.
“Leave it alone, Elle.” I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Did you hear about the promotion? Isn’t your next interview this week?”
My sister didn’t speak leave me alone. She never had.
“The interview’s Thursday,” I muttered, trying to focus on the pedals. God only knew how many candidates were in the final pool.
“And how’s Mr. Tall, Dark, and Hunky?”
“He’s in LA for a couple days.” The office manager up there had gone on emergency leave, and it made sense for Gabriel to cover, but the timing felt suspicious. A clean, convenient way to avoid me.
“You should join him.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. He has his interview Thursday, too. And the last thing I need is for him to get in my head before one of the most pivotal days of my life.”
“Mm.”
I shot her a glare. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“The last time you said ‘nothing,’ you’d stolen my favorite navy blouse and ruined it with bleach.”
She sighed dramatically, as only a younger sister could. “Fine. I think you’re scared.”
“What?” Of all words, scared wasn’t one I’d ever been called. “How?”
“You’re letting your ex-husband hijack every ounce of trust and joy you’ve got left. You like this guy. Really like him. And from the sounds of it, he’s crazy about you.”
“I regret confiding in you.”
“No, you don’t. Do you actually think he’s trying to get in your head about this interview?”
I hesitated. “No. But this thing between us is a big enough distraction without him actively trying to make it bigger. We don’t need to go and up the stakes by introducing one another to our families.”
“He’s already met your family. Did he ask you to meet his?”
Ugh. “Yes. And he didn’t meet mine on purpose.”
“Come on, Char, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“He gets the job, and I quit because I can’t stay at a company that passed me over, and I resent him for it.”
“Or?”
“I get the job, he quits, and resents me for it.”
“And those are your only two options?”
“There’s always the chance neither of us gets it.”
Michelle shook her head, ponytail swishing. “Why does anyone have to resent anyone? Are you qualified to be CEO?”
“Absolutely.”
“And is Gabriel?”
“Yes, he is.” He might not know Arrow like I did, but I had no doubt he’d come up to speed.
“Then why the hell would either of you resent the other?”
“I didn’t say it would make sense. Resentment never does. Steve didn’t make sense, either.”
“Exactly.” She leaned in on her handlebars, relentless.
“Steve was insecure from day one. But because you met in college, when everyone was still finding their footing, you didn’t see it.
His resentment was never about your promotions.
It was just an excuse. The man can’t be happy if Austin wants to spend more time with you, or if you so much as smile at a baseball game.
He can’t be happy for anyone but himself.
That’s a character flaw. Your success was not the reason for his unhappiness; it was simply a trigger for it. ”
Her words stopped me cold. I’d never thought about it that way.
“Is Gabriel insecure?” she pressed.
The answer was immediate. “Not at all.”
“Then stop acting scared. And let him in.”
I tried to let the pounding music distract me, but one word kept repeating in my head. Scared. The insight stung because a small part of me wondered if she was right.
Maybe I was using the promotion as an excuse, a way to keep him at arm’s length because it was safer than trusting him.
I pedaled harder, forcing the burn in my legs to drown out the panic in my chest about what to do next.