Chapter 7 – Jasper Bartholomew
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?
JASPER BARTHOLOMEW
Her body moves over me and her pale skin glows with jewel colors. Her eyes are locked on mine as she runs her fingers down my chest. Shivers dance over my skin and I groan under my breath as her fingernails tap at my nipples, dragging across them.
Her hands come down and she takes my hands up to her breast, closing them around the taut peaks as her hips slowly rotate over top of me.
“Fuck, you’re a goddess, Merry. A damn Christmas angel made just for me.”
My hard rod slips along the slick heat of her core and she moans, lifting her hips until just my tip is right there, ready to slip inside of her. Ready to find his home.
Her eyes widen and she whimpers. “What about protection?”
“I’m clean if you are.”
“I am.”
“Are you on the pill?” I hate to ruin the mood of crazy need with plebeian things like protection but it’s what needs to be done.
“I am,” she whimpers. “I want to feel all of you. Feel every inch of you inside me…bare.”
It’s crazy. I shouldn’t. I never have. But with her? I’m a damned crazy man and I’ll take whatever she can give me.
I lift her up by her hips and help line her slick hole up with my aching, steel-hard length. Then she slips down on me and I feel her warmth, her wet heat slowly engulfing me. My head goes back and I bare my teeth, barely human. More animal than man.
“Fuck, you feel so damn good. So hot, so tight. So perfect.”
Shivering, she grits her own teeth, sweat breaking out on her pale body as she takes me inside her.
Finally, her plump ass is settled on my thighs and I’m fully inside her.
Drawing in a deep, shaky breath, I gaze up at her, stunned. “Move, baby. Show me what you need. I’ll give you anything you need. Everything I can.”
Her glittering eyes lock on me as she shimmies her hips and circles them around and around. My tongue glues to the top of my mouth and I can’t think about a damn thing but her. She’s it for me. My perfect woman.
Mine.
My hands clench on her lush hips and I help her circle on my cock.
My whole body tightens and it feels like bees buzzing in my back, my whole body going taut, my head falling back as I let the taut, intense buzz take over and then I come up when I feel her body tense and tighten around my cock.
Ripples of her orgasm wash over me and a rush of her sweet juices paints my cock.
Growling, I push into her over and over again until my body goes so taut that it feels like I’m going to break into a million glittering pieces and my dick jerks as my cum paints her pulsing walls.
She screams and then falls across my chest and my heart hammers in perfect time with the pounding of hers resting against my chest. Her breath gently washes over my skin and my skin erupts in goosebumps.
She shivers and I roll to my knees and then to my feet.
I reach down and gather her into my arms, smiling gently when she grins weakly at me until she melts into me, her fingers tangling in my chest hair, her whole body limp.
Her lashes come down on her shimmering eyes and I miss seeing them. Seeing the green and gold glimmer in those soft gray depths. The eyes that I thought were so plain.
Now I know that every bit of her is perfect just the way it is. She’s soft curves, soft eyes and sassy words.
She’s Christmas incarnate and I don’t deserve her. I shiver as I carry her upstairs and slip into bed beside her, my head swimming as she curls into me.
Her breath slows and evens and I know that she’s asleep. But I can’t close my eyes. Panic races through me.
I lost control. That’s something I’ve never let happen and I know that it’s wrong. I can’t do that.
If there’s one thing I learned from my father it’s that you can’t let someone be everything to you. Because when they leave, all you’re left with is your control. Your fingers desperately clinging to your emotions, holding them inside until you finally get your head on straight.
Unless you never do. Like he never did.
And if there’s one thing I refuse to do, it’s let someone do that to me. My mother fucked me over when she left and left me with my dad. I will not let another woman make a mockery of my emotions.
So while she sleeps, I slowly move away from her and plan. My head won’t rest so I slip out of the bed and run down to my studio.
Like an obsessed asshole, I set up my easel and my paints and the whole thing comes so easy.
Her soft skin, her lush curves lit with the fire’s glow and the dancing colors of the Christmas tree.
I don’t usually paint nudes but it’s like I can’t stop myself from remembering the night. Remembering how she looked, tasted, smelled.
Every single piece of her. Every move she made and every damn crazy thing I said.
Until dawn breaks and the walls light up with golden light. Pale, watery light. The clouds are building again and there’s another storm coming. I can feel it in my bones. Feel it settle in my chest like a weight that’s dragging me down.
Then my shoulders stiffen as I hear her shuffling lightly down the stairs. She comes inside and wraps her arms around me and I drop my head, wanting so much to touch her, kiss her, claim her.
But that way leads to madness and anger. Just like my father. And I’m not him. I refuse to be him.
I stiffen and feel her arms drop to my sides as she steps back, her eyes on me.
I don’t look at her. Just move to the window watching the next storm move in, the snow starting to fly, the air rushing past the window pane and rattling it like a thief trying to break in.
“I should get out there and make sure that everything’s secure. It looks like this one is going to be a lot worse than the last one. You should make sure that you’re ready for the power to go out like the last time.”
“Jasper? What’s going on?”
“We’ve got a lot of things to do to get ready for this storm. I’m afraid I don’t have time to chit-chat this morning. If you need anything, just let me know and I’ll take care of it.”
“I do need something. I need for you to look at me and tell me what the hell is going on?”
Locking down my feelings, I turn to look at her. “There’s a storm coming. We need to be prepared.”
Her wide eyes fill with tears and I fight to keep from touching her. “I thought you were the one, Jasper. That’s what you said last night. Was that just something you say to all women to get in their pants? Did I ever mean anything to you?”
I don’t answer her, silently watching as her eyes close and a tear trickles down her cheek, sparkling like a damn diamond.
Then she straightens and opens her eyes, her own gray eyes cold and hard. “Right. Well, let’s get ready.”
And then she stalks out of the room and away from me and my whole body aches to follow her, hold her.
But I’m not my father. I can’t let the same things that destroyed him, destroy me.
Even if I have to give up every damn good thing in my life.