Chapter Forty-Two
His irritation rose. Georgie did not understand.
“We each must take on the duty of a former ancestor. My father had only two living siblings, a brother and a sister who had already married, so everything from the vineyard in the Cape Colony, Trade Wynd, and the earldom became his responsibility, while his younger brother managed the vineyard in Madeira.” His voice rose, which he tried to control, but he did not appreciate the harsh judgment of his father.
“And, since Uncle David never fathered any children, one of my brothers had to be trained to take over those responsibilities. It should not all fall to one person, but be shared equally, so that Trade Wynd could become even more successful.” To shirk one’s duty would be unfair to the rest of the family.
“I understand the reasoning and why your father would want his sons to take over the various aspects of the Trade Wynd empire,” she offered calmly and Damian relaxed, knowing that she understood.
“However, that also does not change the fact that you were never given a choice but to run Trade Wynd.”
The stiffness began in his shoulders and spread to his neck but instead of arguing, Damian looked down, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a sigh. It was the fact that Georgie spoke the truth that bothered him so much.
She wasn’t even using a confrontational tone.
She was simply stating a fact and if he were to be honest, he could well understand her disapproval.
He and his brothers should have been given choices, as all younger sons were, but they hadn’t been and were told that it was for the best because they would have reliable incomes and not need to be concerned with quarterlies or going into other forms of trade.
Maybe his resentment was not so much directed at her but his father. Damian had just never been allowed to express it previously.
“Were you ever asked if you wanted to do something different?” The softness…gentleness in how she asked the question, bathed him with warmth. Maybe because it was the first time someone seemed to care about what he may have wanted, even if he did not know fully what that was.
“We were not,” Damian finally answered. “We were also too afraid of father to go against him. By the time he died, I was already managing Trade Wynd and Elliot had already sailed for Madeira.”
“You asked me what I would like to do if I had a choice. I now ask you the same question.”
All Damian could do was stare at Georgie. He had no answer.
“I am limited because I am female. You are not. Besides being a male with the freedom allowed, you also come from wealth, yet you have done what you were told.”
“I suppose I was not given a choice because my father was not.”
“Because wine is in your blood,” Georgie said quietly. “It is what made Trade Wynd what it is today, before marble or any of your imports and exports.”
“Yes.”
“But are you doing what you want to do?” she asked.
Damian could not answer her with a yay or a nay.
“I have never given the matter any consideration.” He did not dare entertain other possibilities because they would have been denied, which would have led to disappointment and a discontented life.
Therefore, he accepted what was expected of him because it had been easier and it was too late to change that future now.
“Maybe you should.” She shrugged and strolled away.
He hated that Georgie had made him ponder matters that he refused to acknowledge when he was younger but maybe it also explained the disquiet in his being.
Was the crack he acknowledged in the last month because something was missing from his life—the one he currently led, or until Georgie came along—as he had assumed, or was it because he was missing something else? Something he needed to do and not wait for it to come to him?
Could it be as simple as he would be happier doing something else?
Damian stared out and over the water, not really seeing anything.
Was there something else that he wanted to be doing?
He had been afraid to ask himself.
*
Georgie stood at the railing and enjoyed the breeze of the ocean and warmth on her face. She’d left her bonnet below so there was no protection from the sun, but she did not care. She also knew that she would likely have twice as many freckles before the day was over.
It was a beautiful day, and the wind cooled any heat, so it was not uncomfortable being in the sun. She wanted to spend the entire day on the deck.
“How did you manage to avoid the tedium when you sailed from Carrera, especially in the hold of a ship?” Damian asked as he drew to her side.
“It was not easy.” Georgie chuckled and turned to face him. “This is much better, I promise, and I am not the least bored.”
Damian frowned. “Yes, well, I can see where being on the deck of a ship instead of below it would be preferrable.”
“If you need entertainment, I do have a book that I can recommend. I enjoyed it while traveling by mail coach.”
Damian arched an auburn eyebrow. “I would take you up on the offer but I am fairly certain that you were telling me a falsehood when you claimed that it was riveting.”
“You may find that you do enjoy it,” Georgie insisted, though she would be quite surprised if he did. “I also have three other books, one being Glenarvon, that you may borrow.” She grinned. “Are you not eager to read about the affair that Lady Caroline Lamb had with Byron?”
“That depends,” Damian said before he leaned close to her ear. “How descriptive is she about the intimacies that were shared and might I learn anything from them?”
Georgie’s face heated, burned in a way that had nothing to do with being in the sun.
“I did not manage to get far into the book before I fell asleep so I have no way of knowing. However, I believe I am the one who would benefit from their experiences since the few times that we…well…I was surprised.”
Damian offered his arm. “If lessons are needed, allow me to be your teacher.”
Her heartbeat spiked, along with her pulse. “Now?” she whispered.
“We have a private cabin,” he reminded her. “Or would you rather remain up here for the rest of the day looking at the ocean.”
Georgie glanced back. She would have plenty of opportunity to do so once she sailed back to Carrera, whereas her opportunities to be intimate with Damian were limited.
“I do believe I would like to go below and rest.”
That was said only because others were near, and she was embarrassed that they may guess what she and Damian were about.
“You will rest, my dear.” He leaned in again. “Eventually.”