Chapter Forty-Six
Damian did not return to the cabin right away. He needed to be alone with his thoughts.
He had come close to confessing to Georgie that he was in love with her when he said that it was not an Englishwoman that he wanted. Would she realize that he was speaking of her?
Could they be married but live apart, as his parents had?
Except those two never saw each other again, but that was because Father was bitter and stubborn. It also took nearly half a year to sail to and from Cape Colony whereas traveling to Carrera would only take a month, then another back.
It could be possible that he remained in Southampton and at Trade Wynd while she lived with her parents in Carrera, and they would take turns sailing to visit the other. When it was his turn, he would have plenty of time to make arrangements for his absence, unlike now when he left work to be done.
Those very arrangements could be made whenever she visited him or he traveled to her.
Then he would never have to worry about her being lonely or despondent before she left him for good.
It was a foolish dream and one that he must forget.
She wanted to live in Carrera with her family and he was needed in England and no matter how much his heart ached at the idea of never seeing her again, he also had to be sensible.
Yet, he also knew that he must tell Georgie how much he did care for her before she left. She needed to know even if she did not feel the same.
*
When Damian did not return, Georgie found one of the books and began to read, except she could not keep her mind on the story because she kept remembering what Damian had said.
Even if he had meant her, it changed nothing.
They were from two different countries and had only known each other such a short time.
No future should be based on so little.
Yet, that didn’t mean her heart did not ache for him, but she also knew that in time it would stop and she would carry on and likely lead a lonely life while she ran Accetta Panetteria and Damian ran Trade Wynd.
It was their destiny and these days spent together would be nothing more than fond memories.
However, despite having made up her mind and believing herself very wise, Georgie could not read and set the book aside, then closed her eyes. She was tired, even though she had not done anything, but at least her heart would not ache once she abandoned her thoughts to sleep.
Georgie did not know how long she slept, but when she awakened, Damian was seated beside her on the bed, pillows behind his head, and reading Glenarvon, just as she had found him before.
“Is it still riveting?” she asked with a smile.
“In a way, yes, it is,” Damian answered. “If this was truly written by Lamb and if what Society has claimed is true that the characters portray real people such as Byron, then it is indeed scandalous and very unflattering to those she has encountered in the aristocracy.”
“Then I look forward to reading it, even if I do not know who the characters are supposed to be in real life.”
“If none of it is true, then you have a gothic novel full of passion and betrayal.” He set the book aside and stood. “I shall retrieve our evening meal and return.”
“Evening!” She could not have slept all day.
“You are recovering,” Damian said as if to answer her unspoken concern.
“What if I cannot sleep tonight because of too much rest.”
“Then I shall read to you.”
“But you will not get rest.”
“I can rest when you are gone, Georgie.”
The words were barely whispered as he slipped out of their cabin.
Was it possible that he was no more eager to be parted than she was?
When he returned, Damian retrieved a bottle of Wynd Wine and the two cups from his valise.
“Cook had packed two and we only drank one.”
While they enjoyed a meal of ham, bread, fruit, and cheese, Damian told her how he had toured the ship and now understood how Chisholm had created passenger cabins in a merchant ship and it was something that he might consider doing in the future, especially if he did decide to sail somewhere.
Georgie wanted to ask if it would be Italy but anticipated that his response would be somewhere more interesting.
When they were finished, he set the tray aside and refilled her glass, then returned to his place on the bed beside her.
“The ship will arrive in Dublin tomorrow.”
Her heart hitched. Yes, she wanted to see her sister, but Georgie was not ready for her time with Damian to come to an end.
“I will miss you,” she said quietly. “After the way we had met, I would have never believed that I would utter those words to you.”
Damian chuckled. “I will miss you as well.”
She sipped her wine, not certain what else could be said. A heaviness filled the room, almost dread. For her, it was the parting that was to come. She wasn’t even certain if Damian noticed.
“I am a practical man.” He said after a moment. “No decision is ever made without thinking the matter through and weighing the good and the bad and potential outcomes.”
“Yet, you decided to accompany me to London.”
“Extenuating circumstances and one that I will never regret.”
“I also plan carefully and never rush because mistakes and poor decisions could be made,” Georgie said.
“It is better to think with one’s mind and never the heart,” Damian proclaimed without conviction.
“I agree completely,” she responded weakly.
Damian set his cup aside and turned more fully toward her. “I believe that I may have fallen in love with you, Georgie, but the practical side of me insists that it is impossible.”
“We have not known each other long enough to know if it is truly love.”
“That is what I keep telling myself,” Damian admitted.
“I, as well, Damian. My heart tells me that I love you and I hate that we are going to part, but my head is telling me to be sensible.”
“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”
“Neither one of us is a fool.”
“Which is why I will not pursue or court you. When we reach your sister, we will part. You will return to Italy and I to England.”
“If only there had been more time to know for certain what is true: our heads or our hearts.”
“Unfortunately, we do not since we will likely reach your sister in two days and I will no longer be needed.”
“You will not stay?”
“There is no need. You will have the protection of your family and I am only prolonging the parting.”
“Is it because of your mother that you will not consider the possibility that this love might be true?”
“I do not want to repeat what my parents experienced and they had been married twenty years when she separated from him.”
“And we have not known each other even a fortnight,” Georgie reminded him and herself.
“This may not be real after all,” Damian acknowledged.
“It may only be real for now,” Georgie agreed.
Georgie stared into his blue eyes and wanted to cry. At least they had said what was in their hearts and they both feared the same, and neither of them was a fool.
“I want to touch you but because of your sunburn, I fear that I will cause you pain.”
“My arms are not nearly as tender as they were earlier.”
He searched her eyes as if hoping to read the truth, but Georgie would rather risk the discomfort than go without being in his arms.
And then, he kissed her. Sweet, possessive, loving.
His touch was gentle as he caressed and kissed her.
First her lips, cheeks, then neck—slow and deliberate as if he were memorizing her body.
She did the same and explored Damian in a way that she hadn’t taken time to do before because she wanted to remember everything about him so that she could hold this night dear and in her heart for years to come.
When they finally came together and he filled her, tears came to her eyes. She had never felt this loved and she hoped he did as well.