Chapter Forty-Eight
Damian stood at the window that looked out over the harbor from the Trade Wynd office, his attention on the Charlotte Rose. In a few days, she would once again sail for Carrera. It was the same ship that Georgie had stowed away on. The ship that he wanted to board.
He shook his head. To do so would be impractical. He did not even know if she would be home when he arrived. Could he truly leave Trade Wynd for the weeks…months for what might be a foolish venture?
One does not alter their life and future because of twelve days. Except, it felt like it was forever.
He missed her. He loved her.
Damian shook his head, heart aching with emptiness in his soul, a pain within that could not be healed except with time, perhaps, but he wasn’t even confident that would help.
He turned way and closed his ledgers, prepared to exit his office. It was nearing dinnertime and he simply did not want to be at his desk any longer.
Prior to Georgie invading his life, most of his waking hours were spent here, and he thrived, he had control.
This was his domain where everything was in perfect order and made sense.
He was accomplished and proud of how he had improved Trade Wynd and welcomed challenges daily to make it even better.
The passion that had once served him had diminished and been replaced by another.
Someone who was now out of his reach.
With the now-familiar heaviness of mourning and loss that filled his being, Damian made his way to the mews where he retrieved his horse and started home to Wyndview Hall.
He had even remained in Dublin for a sennight hoping that he would see Georgie again.
Of course, he made the excuse that he was there for Trade Wynd.
He toured the docks, visited various vacant office spaces, and learned what he could of their exports, which included wheat, oats, and barley, all needed in England.
They also exported livestock, but Damian dismissed the idea of transporting sheep and cattle on one of his ships.
However, salt beef and pork would be welcome, as well as butter.
Ireland also had a large linen industry, which would benefit not only England but could be shipped to America. He was still formulating the plans to enter into trade agreements with the various manufacturers, which would require him to return to Dublin.
Damian was cautious in everything he did, especially when it involved important decisions, yet, he was over half tempted to board the ship to Carrera and leave Southampton behind for a woman he had known for twelve days.
One thing that had changed in his absence, which he once again noted when he entered the parlor at Wyndview Hall, was that along with his eldest brother Sterling, his younger brothers Jules and Avery now took dinner with the family.
He’d been told that it had been Livia who had caused the changes. She told them both that if they did not go to dinner when told and sit with her mother and the earl that they wouldn’t be given their supper.
Apparently, Livia had disappeared a few times, which had caused both Sterling and Caroline to become worried until the child had been found pestering Avery with questions about plants or with Jules, watching him sculpt.
She had also shamed both brothers for ignoring their family when all it would take was an hour of their time away from their projects.
Now, they both joined them for dinner, though often they were anxious to return to their work.
It was the same anxiousness Damian had often experienced when away from Trade Wynd when he knew that work needed to be done.
He no longer experienced the same urgency.
“Where are Caroline and Livia?” Damian asked as he crossed to the sideboard to pour a glass of wine.
“They will be taking their supper in the nursery,” Sterling answered.
He frowned and faced his brother. “Is Livia ill?”
“No. Caroline and Livia believe that you are bothered and that you will be more forthright if they are not present for the conversation.”
“I am not bothered,” he lied.
Sterling snorted.
“You have not been the same since your return,” Avery noted.
How would he know? He rarely left the conservatory or the vast gardens.
“Livia says you are unhappy.” Jules shrugged.
Ah, so it was Sterling’s stepdaughter who had been the cause of the fuss about him.
“You are not happy. That is obvious,” Sterling added.
Damian wanted to deny his claim but couldn’t. The contentment that he once possessed before Georgie no longer remained.
“It will pass,” he finally said.
“You never told us about your travels with Miss Wylde and how you found her sister.”
Upon his return, Damian had said that the sister had been located, she was safe, not ruined, and that Fisher was likely on his way to America while Georgie and Grace were visiting with family in Ireland.
There were no further details and he immediately began telling Sterling that he was going to look into opening a shipping office in Dublin, or at least export from there and that once the details were worked out and plans were made, he would advise him.
“Dinner is served,” the butler announced, much to Damian’s relief and he turned for the dining room, hoping that by the time they were seated that a different topic of conversation would be introduced.
“What did you do during your search?” Sterling asked once they were seated.
Damian blew out a sigh. Sterling would demand while Jules watched with curiosity and Avery remained attentive.
Three brothers so completely different.
Jules’s hair had likely not seen scissors or a blade in two years.
Half of the time he did not even shave, looking much like what he had always imagined a hermit from childhood stories would appear.
And he did prefer to live in seclusion. Then again, Damian couldn’t remember the last time his hair was trimmed and he had forgone shaving until he returned home, so he should not judge his brother.
As for Avery, his hair was always perfectly in place, clothing impeccable, never a smudge on his glasses, and he kept to a shaving and bathing ritual, unlike his brother.
“We took a mail coach to London, as you know.” From there he explained what he had learned and how they had traveled to Liverpool, then Greenock, leaving out as many details as possible. Many of them were too personal to share.
“I am quite happy that we were able to visit Greenock,” he said in an effort to change the subject from Georgie to a topic more related to Trade Wynd. “There I was able to tour John Scott & Sons.”
“Who are they?” Jules asked.
“Shipbuilders,” he answered. “They also build steamships, which I am not yet prepared to introduce to Trade Wynd.”
He paused only long enough for the first course to be placed before them. “We visited the customhouse as well. Greenock is a thriving port with refineries to process sugar. I left with ideas on how to better improve Trade Wynd.”
“What else happened in Greenock that led you to Dublin?” Sterling asked as if he were not at all interested in what Damian may have learned.
“We found Fisher,” Damian answered. He’d already told them the reason they set sail for Dublin.
All three brothers studied him. Sterling’s eyes were narrowed and his head cocked as if he was trying to reason something out. Avery frowned as if perplexed, but not certain why, as if Damian were a specimen to study.
As for Jules, sadness filled his eyes as he shook his head.
What had he said that was so bothersome?
“Why are you here?” Jules asked.
That was an odd question. “I live here.”
“Why are you not in Dublin or Carrera?” he clarified.
“I have no reason to be in either place.”
Since when was Jules interested in anything or anyone other than his sculpture?
His brother shook his head again, disappointment in his blue eyes.
“It was obvious from the beginning that Georgie was for you,” Sterling said. “My question, why are you not with her or why is she not here?”
Damian stared at his brother as if he had lost his mind. “You saw our interaction all of one day. How could you possibly have decided that we were a match?”
“Because I have never seen you react to any woman the way you did Georgie. You were overly protective. She irritated you, exasperated you, argued with you, and you were not quite certain what to do with her.”
“I would have been the same with any argumentative, stubborn woman,” Damian defended.
“No, you would not have been,” Sterling answered. “I have seen you encounter women who were difficult, stubborn, and infuriating, and you dismissed them. Put them from your mind.”
“None of them wanted to go off on their own to London, or anywhere else, where they would be quite lost and in danger.”
“You could have arranged for a footman or two to accompany her, use the carriage even.”
“You denied her the carriage!”
“I denied you the carriage. Had you made arrangements for her to have security while you returned to work, I would have let her have use of it. It was the fact that you felt someone, who was not a servant, should accompany her that was telling.”
“It was too soon for me to tell anything,” he argued. “Why did you not suggest a servant go with her?”
“I was waiting for you to reach that conclusion.” Sterling smiled. “You did not, thus, you took responsibility for her, thus, she already meant more to you than any other woman you had ever met.”
He was wrong, but to argue with Sterling would make his brother more confident that what he had decided was accurate when it was not. At least it had not been then.
“That was the reason Caroline and I thought the two of you should be forced to spend more time together. Just like mother manipulated me and Caroline because she saw what we had not.”
Damian glared at Sterling. He would never have anticipated that his eldest brother would use such a tactic on him. Could Sterling ever be trusted again?
“You are in love with her,” Jules said. “Again, I ask, why are you here?”
“Why would you make such a claim?” Damian demanded. “You have not met Georgie and I have barely mentioned her.”