8. Eight
Eight
Jasmine
I browse the wall of ready-to-paint pottery at the studio, surrounded by my girlfriends. It’s our first girls’ night out since the auction. So much has happened in a few days.
Sabrina and Betsy have already chosen the pieces they’re going to decorate. Naomi’s with us for the first time. It seemed fitting to invite her since she went through hell after the auction.
Betsy’s already covered a heart-shaped piggy bank in pink, while Sabrina meticulously studies a set of four nesting dolls. She painted the first one a couple weeks ago, and has the other three left.
Naomi chooses a mug so I make a quick choice.
“Updates, please.” I sit at the table with a kite piggy bank, and squirt a vibrant red onto my palette. “I need more than text messages and rumors.”
Betsy giggles. “The things I’ve done… My stepdad and brother really get me.”
“Like?” Sabrina chimes in.
“They’re playing out my fantasies… Things I can’t even talk about. Maybe you should tell us how that checklist is coming, Sabrina?” Betsy detours the conversation.
Sabrina loves checklists, so I gave her a checklist of things to look forward to.
She looks to both sides and lowers her voice. “Check, check, check… plus a few things.”
I nod, proud of her, but a nagging thought tugs at me. Am I using my business plan as a shield?
“Jasmine? You okay?” Naomi’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
“Yeah, just… Do any of you ever worry about losing yourself in a relationship?”
“Worry? No. Hope? Yes.” Betsy gives her pig a smile. Kind of creepy.
Sabrina picks up the smallest doll. “Letting someone help doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
That makes sense on the surface, but I flash back to my mom, always walking on eggshells around Dad. Is that what’s holding me back? The way he took control of her life. The way he disrespected her hopes and goals.
“I get it,” Naomi says softly. “Giving someone a piece of yourself can be scary. But sometimes it’s the best thing ever.” She stares at her mug and we give her the space to decide if she wants to reveal more to us—her new friends as of the auction. “Getting locked away, twice, then kidnapped, all by people I trusted, messed with my head. But once I figured out who to trust, I was more than grateful.”
“I heard it was a rough couple of days. Are you sure the guys you’re with are good? I heard your dad is furious, threatening to take legal action.”
Naomi shrugs. “My mind’s still pretty messed up, but he was into some bad stuff. For now, he gets jail and I get my dream guys.”
We all laugh, the tension breaking.
“So, Jas…” Betsy leans in, worried. “How was it seeing Trent after all this time?”
I bite my lip. “Weird, but we’re all trying to be cool about it. Even Trent. I just don’t think I should get too comfortable.”
“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” Sabrina muses. “If you and Trent are truly okay with the arrangement.”
Are we okay? Good question. It would be easier to just move on from all of them, but they’re teaching me so much. Sex. Negotiations. Trust. And that I still have feelings for Trent.
I trail black paint over the kite’s frame. Am I ready to let my guard down with his roommates? I decide to practice my trust and go to a level deeper with my friends. “I’m starting to see that it’s not so bad to let people into my life. In a funny way, his roommates mentioned getting me a dog, which I desperately want, but I can’t be a good parent—dog parent—on my own.”
“So you’re thinking of…” Sabrina teases.
“I need time to play it all out. But, I can’t see how this can work without Trent. What if he thinks I’m just rubbing salt in the wound even though he denies there is one? He says he just wants me to be happy.”
Sabrina’s brow furrows, while Betsy’s eyes light up as if she’s lost in one of her dreamy theories.
“Jasmine.” Sabrina’s voice is gentle but firm. “If Trent says he wants you to be happy, you should believe him. Men aren’t usually that complicated.”
“But what if deep down, he’s still hurting?”
Sabrina puts down her brush. “Since when do you live your life worrying about everyone else? Consider this your next adventure. See where it goes.”
“But—”
“No buts,” Naomi interrupts, her voice surprisingly firm. “It’s great that you don’t want to hurt him. But you’re also not letting yourself be happy. Don’t you think Trent deserves better than to be your excuse?”
She’s right. I’m not one to make excuses. I have a lot to process about my business, the SSSS, and Trent’s role in my future.
Betsy reaches across the table, squeezing my hand. “If these guys make you happy, and Trent’s given his blessing, what more can you ask for?”
Trent. Ugh… Why can’t I get past him?
They’ve all stopped painting.
“You really think he’s over me?” I ask, my voice small, surprising me with how much I wish he could be a part of my reverse harem. That’ something I never thought I’d say.
Betsy smiles softly. “Not necessarily, but he’ll figure it out if you start spending time with his friends.”
Sabrina adds, “Maybe don’t meet at their place. Give yourself time to explore the other three without the Trent complication.”
“There’s wisdom and simplicity to that, but I think I need to be completely honest with Trent.”