Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
“I was so upset that you had feelings for Austin and so mad at myself for hurting you that I punched the house and broke my hand. Sometimes it still hurts along the fracture lines. That’s always felt like an appropriate punishment.
” He smiled ruefully, looking at his hand instead of her eyes.
“It’s been brought to my attention that I have the emotional transparency of a brick wall.
I thought I was doing a better job of being clear before, but I didn’t get all the way there.
So in case I haven’t been painfully obvious, Ivy, I—” He closed his eyes and took a breath.
“I have feelings for you. I’ve had them for a really long time.
I don’t think they’re ever going away and I don’t want them to go away.
I don’t know how you feel about that, but I am going to be trying really hard to be more open and honest from now on. ”
Ivy stared at him while she inwardly replayed a lifetime of interactions, trying to pinpoint when he’d developed feelings for her and how she’d never noticed.
“Since when have you had feelings for me?”
A blush spread across Grant’s cheeks. “Since the summer we worked at the theater.”
“B-But why?” she sputtered. “I was so fucking awkward.”
“No you weren’t—okay, maybe a little, but it was endearing.
You were just…you. You’re kind, and smart, and such a hard worker, and you’re funny.
But smart funny. I tried so hard to get you to notice me.
I did anything I could to make you laugh—with me or at me, I really didn’t care—because I wanted your attention any way I could get it. ”
That entire summer came into sharp focus as she looked at it with fresh eyes.
Grant hadn’t put her bike in the back of his truck and driven her home at night to be nice or because he thought his mom would be mad if he didn’t—he did it because he liked her.
He did silly things, like pretending a popcorn bucket was a top hat and he was Gene Kelly when the theater played Singin’ In the Rain, not to pass the time but because he wanted her to pay attention to him. To smile at him. To laugh at him even if it meant making a fool of himself.
She replayed the night she’d accidentally confessed her feelings about Austin and felt sick. If the roles were reversed, she never would have recovered from that level of humiliation and heartbreak.
“I had no idea,” she murmured, still reeling.
“I really thought I was being obvious.” He cupped her chin and guided her face so she’d look at him. Grant was a perfect picture of earnest concern. “Now that I’ve explained, can you forgive me?”
“I have one question.”
“Anything.”
“What were you and Austin doing in the snow earlier?”
Grant dropped his head with an embarrassed chuckle. “I tackled him because he expressed interest in trying to start a casual sexual relationship with you. He also didn’t know the depth of my feelings for you…or that I had feelings of any kind. Ever.”
“Are you going to get mad at me if I spend time with your brother?” she asked.
“I wasn’t mad at you,” he promised. “I was scared you were going to drop me as soon as Austin showed the faintest interest in you. Because even he admits he’s dense, but a man would have to be comatose not to see how perfect you are. Eventually, he’d have figured it out. And then maybe…”
You’d choose him over me. The words hung between them, as heavy and gray as a cloud before a snowstorm.
Ivy had spent her whole life believing she’d never done a single remarkable thing—believing that she, herself, was unremarkable.
She’d convinced herself she was in love with a boy who’d never really noticed her existence, because for so long, that was all she thought she deserved.
Even teenage Ivy knew, on some level, that Austin would never choose her.
But she hadn’t cared, because believing she loved him let her avoid the messy, awkward, wonderful, terrifying reality of being perceived. Being known. Being seen.
But all that time, there had been Grant.
Knowing her. Seeing her.
She’d been so busy believing it was her destiny to be nothing that she never realized he’d made her the center of his world.
Ivy blinked back tears. She had wasted so much time. “Ah, yes,” she said, retreating behind humor just long enough to compose herself, “a very normal and reasonable fear, considering I let you come inside me the night before.”
Grant brushed a thumb across her cheek, the gesture tender enough to break her in two. “Ivy, I’m never going to be normal about you.”
It was a good thing she was sitting, because he’d turned her to goo in less than ten words.
She threw herself at him, fastening her lips to his and swallowing whatever he was going to say next.
It took a moment for him to comprehend what had happened, but she knew the moment he caught up because his arms locked around her, one at her waist and the other over her ass, and crushed her against him.
“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Grant managed to eke out between kisses.
“You’re on thin ice,” Ivy said, but didn’t mean it.
Grant eased her back onto the nest of pillows. “I missed you.”
She ran her fingers through his hair. “I missed you, too.”
Their kisses were deep and unhurried, but somehow still desperate. He unzipped her coat and palmed her breast, thumbing her taut nipple.
“You’re not wearing a bra. Was it always your plan to seduce me?”
“There—” She gasped as the hard ridge of his cock rubbed against her sensitive clit. “There isn’t much seducing…” She whimpered as he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “When you’re already begging.”
“On my knees,” he confirmed, biting the sensitive hollow of her neck. “Only for you.”
Grant eased down her pajama pants and damp panties, then showed her exactly how on his knees he could be for her. He licked the length of her pussy, opening her up with his tongue, and moaned.
“You taste so good,” he breathed, and licked her again, this time swirling his tongue around her clit.
Ivy arched her hips and pressed herself against his face, wanting more. Grant obliged. He sucked and licked at her clit, then slid two fingers inside her, stroking her upper wall until she was panting and writhing.
“Grant,” she whined, so close to coming she could taste it.
He glanced up at her, not removing his mouth or his fingers from her body, and winked.
“Oh, fuck.” Her pussy clenched around his fingers and her core contracted as her orgasm rocked through her. When she settled, she was warm and giddy. “That was one hell of an apology.”
“I’m not done with you.” He sat back on his heels and put the two fingers he’d used on her in his mouth and licked them clean before undoing his belt, then his pants. There was a little damp spot on his boxers near the head of his cock.
“You liked that?”
“I loved that.” He pushed his underwear off his hips, and his cock jutted forward like it was spring-loaded. Ivy widened her legs in invitation.
Contentment suffused her body as Grant filled her. When he slid into her, it was like a missing piece of her had been returned and she was whole. She wanted to feel this way forever.
Happy. Wanted. Cherished.
Loved.
Another orgasm started to build inside her as they rocked together. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her heels into his firm ass cheeks to encourage him.
“I’m—”
She felt him begin to pulse inside her, filling her up, and that was the little extra sensation she needed to tip her over the edge. Grant gasped like his soul was being pulled from his body as she clamped around his sensitive cock.
“Oh my god,” he croaked, and his arms trembled, then gave out. He barely caught himself on his forearms before he crushed her.
Ivy giggled. There was no greater compliment than having a man like Grant come undone because of her. She was as relaxed and content as if she’d been soaking in a hot tub with a margarita.
“Just so we’re clear,” she said, combing her hands through Grant’s tousled hair. “How do you feel about me again?”