Chapter 4 #2
"She was diagnosed about nine months ago, I believe.
At first she didn't want to do any treatment at all, but I started researching natural treatment options, and.
.. I'm kind of doing that on the side." She seemed a little sheepish about it, and Hannah understood why.
Medical doctors did not practice alternative medicine.
It could void their license, cause their insurance to cancel, and get them into a world of trouble.
"Because she's your mother?"
"Yes. I know she's not going to sue me, and she's not going to say anything either. But she does come here for blood tests and other things. And you're going to know about it."
"I see."
That was a hard one, but she understood. No one would want to see their mother at least not try to fight the cancer.
"Are the methods working?"
"I suppose. She's not gotten worse. But her recovery has been slow, if you can call it that. She’s also very tired constantly. And... I'm just not sure if it's going to work or not."
Hannah nodded, and Terry seemed to gather herself.
"You might end up talking to her because I have Brenda Bryant scheduled at the same time, and she's already told me that she won't see anyone but me.
I wouldn't mind if you have time to pop into the room to say hi.
I suppose that will be the best way to ease you into these patients who refuse to broaden their horizons and see a different provider. "
"All right. I'll make a note of doing that, and I can definitely see your mom.
I met her on the street when I was going grocery shopping, and she's just as wonderful as I remember her.
" The idea that she had cancer was devastating.
But it made sense because she had noticed that the woman seemed tired and worn.
"Yes. I tried to explain to Mom that she needed to take the treatments for the cancer because the town needed her, not just because I selfishly wanted her."
"She's definitely a wonderful woman. Why did she say she didn't want to take the treatments?" Hannah asked this, even though she knew she could look at the chart and the information was most likely there.
"I think she was afraid, honestly. But she also said she was ready to die. And if God wanted to take her, He could."
"So she doesn't believe in traditional medicine?" She thought that was odd, considering that Marjorie had a daughter who was a doctor.
"I don't think that's it necessarily. Although she definitely puts more faith and trust in God than she does in medicine." Terry gave a self-effacing smile, as though she knew it was odd considering that she was a doctor.
"I do too. At least I say I do. Although.
.. I don't know if I had cancer that I would just calmly say I'll trust God to do whatever He wants.
That's... that's a crazy amount of trust and faith.
Because... she could die." She knew that Terry knew that, but sometimes saying the words out loud just made them more real.
"I know, right? But even if she did the traditional medicine, she could still die. Or, as she said to me, she could be hit by a car walking down the street. God could take her whenever He wants to. And... somehow she's not really afraid."
"But she's afraid of cancer treatment?"
Even as she asked that question, Hannah knew it was a legitimate fear.
Sometimes the treatment was almost worse than the disease, and she knew people could die from the treatment rather than the disease.
Or at least die as a consequence of taking the treatments.
They could be really nasty and harsh, but they needed to be in order to fight the cancer.
"She just has such a calm peace about her, and I'm not saying that she's never scared.
I have seen her afraid. And I know when she made this decision it was very difficult for her, because.
.. who wants to die?" Terry huffed out a breath.
"Although I think it's more that she just doesn't want the pain.
And I promised her, as much as I was able, that if she chose to go the natural way, I would make sure that she did not end up in pain because of it. "
"That's a pretty tall order."
"I know. She might not be conscious, but she won't feel pain. Not if I can help it."
It was easy to see that Terry was resolved about this.
And Hannah appreciated the fact that as much as she could, she was going to allow her mother to make her own decisions about her treatment and the way she was going to die.
Sometimes in Hannah's experience, the medical establishment could railroad a person and bully them into choosing what they thought was the best way rather than allowing a person the autonomy of making a choice that the doctor considered to be wrong. It was something she’d turned a blind eye to so far in her career, but Terry brought it out front and center and forced her to think about it. The thoughts weren’t pleasant.
To Hannah's surprise, after the office staff came in and the nurse as well, Terry led them all in a prayer before the day started.
That was new. Of course, a lot of things were new. It was much, much different than the big city hospital she was used to.
Not worse, to her surprise. She thought the adjustment would be in the fact that the clinic didn't have as much medicine or access to care like the hospital did, and as the day went on, that was true.
But the cases they couldn't handle were sent to a hospital that could, and those were few and far between.
For the most part, they saw people needing stitches or people who were diagnosed with flu or ear infections, sinus infections, and those types of things.