Chapter 15 Benny
Was he dead? Was Grandpa gone? Another scream froze in Benny’s throat, the words stuck there.
What have I done?
Everything around him blurred from tears and ice and a big white ball of terribleness in his heart.
“Grandpa!” Benny’s voice cracked as he smashed his face against Mom’s jacket, his whole body shaking with another sob.
He glanced over his shoulder when he heard Grandpa groan and try to bark at Cameron, who was talking in fast, calm words—pulse, pressure, transport—with the Santa jacket spread wide open as he did…medical things.
“If the ticker ain’t broke, I’ll freeze to death.” Red rasped out the complaint, but the words lifted Benny’s heart.
If he was complaining, he was alive.
“Come on, honey,” Mom insisted, guiding him away from all the people and skaters and a bunch of firefighter guys with a stretcher.
They were taking Grandpa on a stretcher!
Lights kept flashing, and now some snow started falling, and all Benny could think was, I did this. I made him do this.
His mom’s arms wrapped around him from behind, but Benny shoved forward, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Grandpa! I didn’t mean to—I just wanted—”
“Benny, sweetheart, stop,” Mom said, her voice shaking, trying to pull him back. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Red’s face, the way it twisted up, the sound he made when he hit the ice, the way his eyes rolled back a little.
Feeling like he might throw up, Benny went slip-sliding over the ice with Mom, everyone parting to let them through. She kept murmuring things to make him feel better and telling him how everything would be fine, but Benny knew better.
Grandpa had a heart attack and could die because Benny’d insisted he skate in this show. It made him sick to even think about it.
“Gracie!” Marshall’s voice cut through the noise, steady but loud. He was suddenly there, skating on his boots, Olivia at his side. “Let me take Benny. You go with your family to the hospital. I’ve got him.”
Benny looked up at his mom, vaguely aware that he’d never seen her face that white. She was the same color as the ice, looking as terrified as he felt.
“No, no,” she said. “He’ll stay with us. With his family.” She clutched at Benny again like she was scared to let him go. “I can’t…leave him.” She kept kissing Benny’s hair and he didn’t care. He clung to her. “I can’t.”
“They’re taking Red to Intermountain,” Marshall said, very calmly. “Please go with your family and let me take care of Benny.”
Mom straightened and looked at him. “I can’t…”
“Yes, you can.” He put his hands on her shoulders and for a minute, Benny thought he was going to hug her.
“You don’t know what’s going to happen there, or what Benny…
” He glanced at Benny. “You don’t even know if they’ll let children in the ER.
Please trust me to take care of him and bring him to you the minute Red is in the clear.
I’ll treat him as if he were my own son. ”
As if he were my own son.
The words rang loud in Benny’s ears, giving him an ache that felt like something was right and wrong at the same time. Like he wanted it so much but shouldn’t dream that big. A dad like…Marshall Hampton.
“Oh, Benny.” Mom folded again, hugging him. “What do you want to do, honey?”
“I, um…” He let out a wobbly breath. “I’m a little scared of the hospital.”
Marshall instantly reached down and wrapped both Benny and Mom in his big arms, holding them tight.
“Come on, Gracie,” he whispered. “I promise he’ll be fine and you can concentrate on what the doctors say. Right, Ben?”
Benny nodded. “Mom, call Marshall when Grandpa…gets better, please? So I know.”
“Gracie! Gracie!” Nicole and Uncle Jack came rushing to the side of the rink. “Is Benny okay?”
No, Benny thought. I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay until Grandpa is. I’ll never—
“All right, Benny.” His mom put her hand on his cheek, drying tears. “You stay with Mr. Hampton and Olivia. I’m going with Uncle Jack to the hospital, and I will call the minute I can tell you he’s fine. Marshall will take care of you.”
He stood a little straighter and managed to nod but then clutched her jacket when his heart broke again. “Please don’t let Grandpa die. Please. Please don’t…” He couldn’t finish. His throat shut tight, his voice gone.
“He’s going to be fine. I promise.” She turned away, fighting tears of her own. Then she looked up at Marshall. “I’m sor—”
“No, Gracie. I’m sorry. So sorry you’re going through this. Take Benny off your mind. I’ll have him with me in town and if he needs to come to our house tonight, he can. He’s in good hands. I promise.”
His words made Benny feel a little bit better, but then he looked past the man’s big shoulder and saw tears pouring down Olivia’s cheeks. Had he ever seen her cry? He didn’t think she was capable of it.
For some reason, that made him want to be strong.
“I’ll be okay, Mom,” he said, forcing himself to stand up straighter. He swallowed, managed a breath, stole another look at Olivia. “You go and tell Grandpa I’m…I’m…that I love him.”
She made a weird noise in her throat and hugged him again, kissing him on the cheek. “He loves you so much, Benny-bean.”
He smiled at the nickname only Grandpa used, needing to hear it more than he realized.
Uncle Jack hugged him, and Nicole, then they put their arms around Mom and took off, leaving Benny with a family that wasn’t his.
“Let’s go, Ben.” Marshall scooped him up into a bear hug. He helped him get out of his skates while Olivia found his shoes and regular clothes. The whole time, Kat licked his mittens and put her snout in his lap because that border collie was smarter than anyone and knew something was wrong.
In fact, everything was wrong. A world without Red was…not what Benny wanted.
They ended up at Craving Clean, with Mr. Hampton—well, he told Benny to call him Marshall—sidestepping people and questions like the former professional running back he was. He took Benny, Olivia, and Kat back into his little office that was a lot like Mom’s, only smaller.
Olivia brought in a blanket—pink, but he didn’t care—and wrapped it around him while Marshall went out into the kitchen to get them…something.
“Kat has to stay in the office,” Olivia told him, “or she’ll go crazy if there’s food on that kitchen counter.”
He nodded, swiping his face, hoping he was done crying. His nose was stuffy, and his eyes burned like more tears could show up and slide down his cheeks any second.
“Benny, this was my fault.” Her voice sounded raspy and like she might cry again, too. “I shouldn’t have pushed for this.”
“I pushed for it, too,” he said, not sure why but he didn’t want her to feel the guilt he felt. Nobody should feel like this. “It’s not your fault.”
“I feel so bad,” she said, obviously not taking the pass he was giving her. “If anything happened to your great-grandfather…” Tears welled up. “I love him, too, you know. Not like you do, obviously, but he’s funny and he’s always so nice to me and…and…” A sob caught. “Benny, I’m so sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Marshall asked as he walked back in, catching the end of that.
She looked up at him. “This was all my fault. I was pushing and pushing—”
“It’s okay, Olivia,” Benny said, quieting her. “Please don’t cry. You know as well as I do that it’s my fault.”
“Then it’s both our faults.”
Marshall crouched down across from him, elbows resting on his knees as he looked from Benny to Olivia. His face looked tired and serious but not angry, not even a little.
“I think both of you need to tell me why you’re taking the blame for this.”
They both exhaled at the same time, sharing a look.
“It was my idea,” Olivia said.
“And I went along with it,” Benny added. “In fact, I think I was the one who told that lady we could make a deal.”
“A deal?” Marshall asked as if the word really mattered to him.
“For Red to be Santa if…”
Once again, he and Olivia exchanged looks. Which one of them was going to tell him they were—
“If she would tell Gracie and me to make a gingerbread house together,” Marshall finished, slowly nodding like Red when he finished the Sunday crossword puzzle. “Was this…your idea?”
“Mine.” Benny and Olivia said the word at exactly the same time, in perfect unison. If smiling were possible right then, Benny might have grinned at her.
“So, it was a group effort,” Marshall said. “And…your mom?” he asked Benny.
“Was pretty mad at me,” he said. “When she found out what we did, she told me I shouldn’t meddle and that she would tell you and call off the whole thing but then she didn’t and I don’t know why, so…”
“It was me, Dad,” Olivia interjected into his breathless explanation. “Benny went along with it, but I just wanted you and Miss Gracie to…you know.”
“Oh, I know,” he said, with the slightest smile as he gave Benny a look. “Women,” he whispered softly.
“Grandpa says you can’t live with ’em and you can’t bear life without ’em.”
Marshall snorted softly. “Wise words from a great man.”
Benny felt his face crumple. “He is! Which is why—”
Marshall put a hand over Benny’s arm. “He’s too tough to die, Ben. I promise you. And he’s in good hands. Your mom texted and said they already have him with a doctor in the ER and they’re running tests. She said kids are allowed in the waiting area, so if you want to go, we can.”
“Okay.” His shoulders collapsed.
“But I need to know more about this scheme you two came up with.”
“I made him watch The Parent Trap,” Olivia started. “So…”
Her father smiled. “So you thought you could do a little matchmaking. And Red went along with that? Because I got the impression he didn’t exactly relish skating as Santa.”
Benny almost smiled, not sure what “relish” meant but getting the idea. “He hated it, but he did it for me.”
“And you pushed him for me,” Olivia said.
“And Gracie went along with it for…” Marshall closed his eyes and sighed before whispering, “Me.”