Chapter 40
40
Liv’s Christmas had been exactly what she’d needed. It was just her, her mum and sister and that was great. They didn’t need men in their lives. Men just complicated everything. They made women have unrealistic expectations of life and themselves, and they left dirty socks lying around – eurgh. No, they didn’t need that, especially not when they had Prosecco, leftover turkey sandwiches and a tin of chocolates.
Liv put her hand in the tin and pulled out a Snickers. She dropped it like it was a turd. Though in fairness Snickers bars did kind of remind her of poo. She tried again – Snickers. What the hell? She peered into the tin. There was just Snickers left and there were only four of those. ‘Who ate all the chocolates?’ she asked sitting up a bit straighter to identify the culprit. There were little piles of wrappers on the arm of her mum’s chair, on the sofa next to Charlotte and on the floor by her own leg. Liv’s pile was by far the biggest. She was surprised, also impressed and a little nauseous at the discovery. She hastily scrunched up the wrappers and clambered to her feet.
‘I think I’m going home,’ said Liv, nudging her sleeping sister as she headed for the kitchen.
‘Huh, no more for me,’ said Charlotte looking slightly dazed as she came to and tried to focus on the flashing lights of the Christmas tree. ‘Did you put those on the psycho setting again?’ she asked. ‘You know that gives me migraines.’ Charlotte always exaggerated.
‘I’ll watch the rest of this tomorrow,’ said their mum switching off the telly.
‘I was watching that,’ said Liv, pausing in the doorway.
‘You said you were going back to Charlotte’s.’
‘Yeah but I was going to watch the end of that first.’ Liv tried and failed to stifle a giant yawn. She was tired. And as per tradition they would be doing it all again tomorrow but with cold turkey and no presents, so she might as well give in. She put the evidence of her chocolate feast in the bin and returned to the living room. Charlotte was already on her feet and had packed her presents neatly into the bag she’d brought with her. Liv’s were still in a heap with a mix of scraps of wrapping paper and yet more chocolate wrappers – how many had she eaten?
‘I’ll leave my stuff so I can have a proper look at them tomorrow,’ she said. ‘But I’ll post the DNA thing.’ She picked up the envelope. She’d done the swab as per the instructions and she was quite intrigued to get the results if only to prove to Charlotte that she wasn’t three parts Neanderthal. She grabbed her coat from the hook in the hall and put the envelope in her pocket. She chucked Charlotte’s coat at her and it landed on her head.
‘No plans to grow up anytime soon then?’ asked her sister.
‘Maybe next year if I’ve room on my resolutions list.’ Liv grinned at Charlotte.
‘Stop fighting, girls. Now give me a kiss. I’m going to make a hot water bottle and go to bed.’ She hugged them both. ‘Thanks for a perfect day and for all my lovely presents.’ Liv could have sworn her mum frowned at the toilet seat she’d bought her.
There were more hugs before they were finally outside and could hear the sound of their mum rapidly bolting the door and putting lights out. They walked down the path and both did their coats up that last centimetre as the full force of the chill enveloped them.
‘It’s a bit parky,’ said Charlotte.
‘It’s nothing compared to—’
‘Scotland,’ cut in Charlotte. ‘Yeah, you said.’
‘Are you sick of me going on about it?’
‘Nah… Actually, maybe a bit. But I’m glad you stood up for yourself and got things sorted out.’
‘Thanks,’ said Liv although she wasn’t entirely sure she had.
They walked and talked and soon they were nearing Charlotte’s. They went back via the post box so Liv could deposit the DNA swab. A bit further on it started to spit with rain, which made them speed up.
‘You never see rain on Christmas cards,’ said Charlotte. ‘Far more rain than snow this time of year.’
‘Not in Scotland,’ said Liv, and Charlotte shot her a look.
‘Okay I get it.’ Liv mimed zipping up her lips and throwing away the key. ‘Ooh funny story, this policeman I met—’
‘Shit,’ said Charlotte.
‘Come on just one more Scotland story and then I’ll shut up about it.’
‘It’s not that,’ said Charlotte. ‘It’s that.’ She pointed to her doorway where there was the shadowy figure of someone sitting on the doorstep and slumped to one side. ‘Christmas drunk. That’s all we need.’
‘We should have brought the little Snickers chocolates.’
‘Nobody likes those, Liv. Not even the homeless.’
‘He might not be homeless. He might just have had too much turkey and needed a sit-down.’
‘I can relate to that,’ said Charlotte giving her middle a rub. ‘What shall I say to him?’
‘I’ll do it,’ said Liv.
Charlotte did a double take. ‘Bloody hell, you have changed.’
Liv shrugged a shoulder but she did feel different after Scotland. Something had shifted a little. She liked the more ballsy version of herself and wanted to hang on to her. As they approached the doorway she stepped in front of her sister. ‘Hiya, wakey, wakey. It’s time to go to bed.’
The person sat up, pulled off their hood and stared at Liv. ‘I hope that’s separate beds.’
Liv was stunned for a moment. Was she seeing things? ‘Shit, Fraser! What are you doing here?’ But she was already giving him a hug. She was so pleased to see him. And then she felt a bit self-conscious. Perhaps a tad too much fizz had made her overfriendly. She pulled back to let him stand up. ‘It’s Fraser, the guy who… but he hadn’t and I stayed in his hotel… well his cousin’s. Anyway, it’s Fraser. This is my sister, Charlotte,’ she said as her sister held up the door keys.
‘Hi. Nice to meet you. Let’s get inside out of the cold,’ said Charlotte.
‘It’s all right. I’m used to it,’ said Fraser. ‘It’s not as cold as Scot—’
‘Bloody hell, not another one,’ said Charlotte unlocking the door and ushering them inside.
There wasn’t enough space in Charlotte’s tiny hallway for all three of them, especially not with Fraser. But they all started removing their coats, hats and scarves at the same time, making them awkwardly apologise as they bumped and prodded each other whilst trying to take things off. Fraser kept his coat on but took off his hat and scarf. Charlotte escaped from her coat first and hung it up triumphantly. ‘Tea? Who wants a cuppa?’
‘Please,’ said Liv, finding she’d managed to pull both sleeves inside out and her arms were still inside; it was like wearing a straitjacket.
‘Not for me thanks,’ said Fraser before turning his focus to Liv. ‘Did you need a hand?’
‘Noooo, I’m fine.’ Liv tried to shake off the coat. ‘Actually, just a bit of help please.’
Fraser untangled her and she hung up her coat. She looked at him afresh and something leapt inside her. She’d hoped she’d see him again but this was unexpected. A thought struck her. ‘Heavens, is everything okay? Nobody’s ill are they. Or has Robbie got another warrant out for my arrest?’ Liv laughed but Fraser’s frown deepened. ‘Shit, what’s happened?’
‘Is there somewhere to sit down?’ he asked looking uneasy. That same sensation was now creeping over her. She showed him through to the small living room. And they both sat on the sofa.
Liv clapped her hands together for no apparent reason before putting them on her thighs and that felt really odd, so she folded her arms, and now Fraser was watching her, so she’d have to leave them there. ‘What brings you to Blackburn on Christmas Day?’
‘There’s no easy way to soften this and I’m sure of that because I’ve had a six-hour drive and two hours sitting on your doorstep.’
‘Ooh six hours – you made good time,’ said Liv automatically and hated herself for sounding like her mum.
‘Yeah, nothing on the roads. And before I forget, everyone sends their best wishes including Robbie Williams.’
There was the sound from the kitchen of a mug smashing on the tiled floor. Charlotte was clearly eavesdropping. ‘Not that Robbie Williams,’ called Liv. ‘I’ll tell you later.’ There was some muttering from the kitchen by way of reply.
‘And it was Winnie who ghosted you,’ said Fraser.
‘What?’ Liv started to laugh.
‘It was Winnie on the internet. She thought she was helping but obviously she wasn’t.’
‘Shit. You mean it was little old Winnie who set up the fake profile?’ said Liv, quite bewildered.
‘Yeah. I know. She feels awful. Turns out she’s got a degree in computer science so she’s actually dead smart and computer-savvy. She was trying to find me someone but then she closed everything down without thinking through the impact of that. Sorry.’
‘You don’t say.’ Liv tried to process the information. ‘How did she not recognise me?’
‘She said the picture was of a blonde, elegant woman with film-star looks.’ Fraser had the good grace to look a little uncomfortable. ‘We thought maybe it wasn’t your photograph.’
‘Bloody cheek! That was me. It was taken last summer.’
‘If it’s the one of you at that party, I did your make-up and it did have a filter on it,’ called Charlotte unhelpfully from the kitchen.
‘Still. I thought it looked like me. Maybe a best version of me. But anyway, we’ve gone down a rabbit hole. Why did she ghost me?’ This was the crux of everything. What was it about Liv that had made Winnie do this?
Fraser’s discomfort was increasing. ‘There’s a little place on the way to Edinburgh called Blackburn so she thought you were Scottish. But then when she realised you weren’t…’
‘She ghosted me because I’m English .’
‘Winnie deleted it all in a bit of a panic, I think. She is truly sorry and sends her apologies. Oh, and these.’ He pulled a package from his pocket and handed it to Liv.
Liv read the wobbly handwriting on the label: ‘ With love from the world’s worst matchmaker. Truly sorry. Love Winnie xx ’
Liv unwrapped a pair of tartan slippers, which made her smile.
‘They’re regifted. A present from Winnie’s neighbour but they’re a couple of sizes too big for her,’ said Fraser but Liv was struggling to concentrate on what he was saying.
It was a lot to take in. More than anything she was relieved because she’d never felt Fraser was entirely convinced about her story and she could understand his scepticism when she had no proof. But best of all it meant it really was absolutely nothing to do with her. She couldn’t change being English. And now she didn’t want to change anything about herself at all.
‘I wasn’t expecting that,’ she said. ‘Not being funny or anything but you could have telephoned to tell me. Not that it’s not great to see you ’cause it is.’
‘I didn’t get you a present so…’ Fraser pulled another small neatly wrapped package from his pocket and handed it to her.
‘Thanks,’ she said as she pulled the paper off. She stared at the gift for a moment. ‘A signed Mariah Carey album. I don’t know what to say.’
‘I won it in a competition when I was a kid. Listened to nothing else that summer.’
‘I can’t accept it,’ said Liv trying to hand it back.
‘No, I want you to have it. I know you’re a fan too.’
Liv ran her thumb over the thick marker-pen signature. It was something she would treasure that was for sure. ‘Thank you. I’m blown away. I mean it’s a seriously close second to the slippers.’
‘I get that. Nothing beats second-hand tartan slippers. I’m glad you like the CD though and I wanted to see you open it. Not everyone gets Mariah.’
‘Thanks. I really appreciate you coming all this way on Christmas Day to play postman.’
‘And I also needed to tell you that I like you.’ Liv stopped staring at the CD. He liked her – this was huge. ‘I’m not expecting anything in return,’ he said hastily. ‘Because I think I could have behaved better, been nicer. Listened more. But in my defence you were a bit full-on crazy most of the time and none of what you said made much sense to me. Anyway, I’m sorry and I need to pass on a big sorry from Winnie too. Or did I already do that?’ He looked a little flustered, which was quite cute. ‘And Effie says hello and wanted me to give you a big hug but you might not want that now.’ It was funny to hear him ramble. It was the first time she could see the family similarity with Effie and it was endearing.
‘Apology accepted. I know I can be a bit intense when I’m focused on something,’ said Liv.
‘She’s the same with jigsaws!’ yelled Charlotte from the kitchen.
‘Ignore her,’ said Liv. ‘And I’m sorry too,’ she added.
‘It’s cool. Right, I’d better get going. I’ll leave you to your cuppa.’
He got to his feet and Liv felt a sense of loss hit her. This was madness. ‘Where are you staying?’
‘I was going to sleep in the van and then set off at first light. I slung a camping mat and a sleeping bag in the back.’ He’d thought it all through.
‘You can’t sleep in the van; it’ll be oorlich.’
Fraser chuckled. ‘Och I’m used to it.’
‘Charlotte!’ yelled Liv making Fraser flinch. ‘Fraser can stay the night can’t he?’
‘If you want him to!’ she called back.
Fraser was watching her closely. Liv took a moment too long to answer and he got to his feet.
‘Nah, I’ll not impose.’ She followed him into the tiny hallway and he paused at the door to put his hat and scarf back on.
‘You can stay. It’s fine – really it is.’
‘I know. Take care, Liv,’ he said.
‘Thanks for coming and for my present. I love it.’ He nodded and reached for the door. She felt like she was losing him all over again. ‘Actually,’ said Liv. ‘I will have that hug. The one from Effie. I’ll have it now please.’
He turned to face her, opened his arms and she stepped into the warmth of his hug. It felt so right and safe. And yes he annoyed the crap out of her, but there was something there and she wanted to know if that something could be significant if it was nurtured. And he liked her – that was a very good start, especially when he’d seen her at less than her best. At last she pulled back from him and he looked down at her. ‘I would like you to stay because I like you too,’ said Liv. ‘Not fake Fraser.’ She wobbled her head. ‘I did like him a lot. But I like you too… a lot.’
Fraser looked up. ‘You don’t have any mistletoe,’ he said.
‘Don’t need it. I already live with a witch,’ she said.
‘I heard that!’ shouted Charlotte.
‘I knew you would,’ said Liv and she mouthed, ‘See she’s a witch,’ to Fraser and he laughed. ‘Why did we need mistletoe?’ she asked, her heart picking up its pace.
‘I was looking for an excuse to kiss you.’
‘You don’t need one of those,’ she said. ‘Because all I want for Christmas is you.’ She leaned in and kissed him. He held her tight and her jumper burst into song.