Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
Tisera
I was concerned about Daz.
I hadn’t seen him since he’d run off yesterday. He’d seemed shocked and ashamed after walking in on me changing. I didn’t know why. We’d grown up together and seen pretty much everything there was to see when bathing as youths. Sure, he was bigger now and I assumed all parts of him had grown, even if I hadn’t seen them, but… what did that matter? We were family. We were close.
When I’d been in Drako’s Dragoons, I’d been the only woman, so I’d done as the men had done. I’d bathed and camped with them. They’d seen all of me. Some of them had been awkward about it, but it wasn’t as if there was a women’s area for anything, so what choice did I have? Eventually most of the men in my company had become like family. I’d been “just another guy” to them.
For my part, I’d learned not to care much for my modesty. I was a warrior. Warriors didn’t have modesty.
I’d thought it the same with Daz, but it seemed perhaps, he didn’t see it that way. Was he really that sensitive?
Perhaps?
“What are you thinking about? You’ve been quiet all morning.” Veora’s words brought me out of my reverie and I smiled at her. We were returning from a morning visit with the prince. It was just before noon and the city bustled with activity.
“Nothing,” I lied. “Just… family stuff.”
“You haven’t said much about your family,” she said. “What are they like?”
I smiled, realizing we were just about to cross Outer Ring Road, the wide boulevard on which I lived.
“Would you like to meet them?” I asked. “We’re not far from my house. I could make you lunch. Though my lunches are nothing spectacular. If Daz is there, he’ll whip us up something amazing. He’s my brother. He’s who I was just thinking about.” But… would he be there? He hadn’t returned after running off yesterday. Hence why I was worried for him.
“Oh! That would be wonderful. Yes, I’d love to see where you live,” Veora replied with a wide smile.
“This way then,” I said, turning onto the road. She followed and soon enough we were at my long lane.
“This is where you live? It’s lovely!” Veora gushed. “I love the trees and the lawns. I wouldn’t have expected this inside the city.”
Avela and Shorine waved, tending to sheep on my front lawn.
I waved back.
“It’s not much. And the cottage is nothing compared to your manor house, but it’s home. My grandfather bought this land off a destitute nobleman,” I said as we made our way down the lane toward the cabin. “He liked having nature around him, but didn’t need much of a house, so… this is it.”
“Still, this is truly lovely! An oasis within the city. You’re very lucky to live here.”
“Daz?” I called as we entered the cottage.
Silence.
I went to his room, but hesitated before entering, remembering yesterday. The difference between us was, I didn’t care if he was naked or not, so I went in.
What I found within baffled me. His room was made up and serene and… several of his things were missing. When I checked his wardrobe, most of his clothes were gone, as was his travelling bag.
Had he been called away on another urgent mission as a Phorasti?
That must be it.
I sighed and hoped he was well.
“Sorry,” I said to Veora as I returned to her. “Daz isn’t here. He must have been called off on Phorasti business. That means it’ll be a simple lunch.”
“Phorasti? Truly? Is he powerful?” She was a bit agog at this.
“I don’t really know. He says he’s a Master, whatever that means.”
“Oh! That is impressive.”
“Is it?” I didn’t really know. He’d never really talked about his abilities.
All I knew was that when my father had taken me from Aunt Emri — eighteen years ago — he’d had with him a small Dathi boy. Father had told me I had a brother now. We’d been raised together for four years before Daz’s abilities had grown in strength and he’d gone off to The White Tower to study. When he’d returned, about nine years ago, he’d been a man, and a Master Phorasti, whatever that meant.
He’d been called away on missions now and then, and when the latest war had broken out, he’d been called to The White Tower once again, while I’d gone off to fight.
Our father had died while we’d both been away. I’d returned to an empty house. That memory still stung, especially since that had been right after Kel had abandoned me.
Daz had returned home roughly two years ago. He’d been tense and tight-lipped, refusing to say anything about where he’d been or what he’d done. But then… that wasn’t new. He’d never told me anything about his work.
Since then, he’d been a fixture in my life. Even when he’d gone away on Phorasti business we’d sent letters back and forth. And when he was home, he did everything for me. He liked the day-to-day stuff, which I agonized over. I truly appreciated everything he did for me.
If he was some powerful and impressive mystic, he’d never said a word about it. But then, he’d always been quiet and modest.
“Perhaps he’ll be around some other time and I can introduce you two,” I said to Veora. “Now… for lunch.”
We ate a simple meal, but I still had some of the exotic fruits from our market day, so we finished them off.
Veora sat back in her chair with a sigh. “Tell me, Tisi, is there a man in your life? You seemed to know that man who came with Victor the day we met.”
Ah yes, Kel.
I sighed, contented, from the sweet food and pleasant company. Could I tell her about Kel? I hesitated as she hummed softly to herself, a habit of hers. Then I shrugged. Why not…
“Yes, and no. There’s no man in my life now, but Kelric, the man you met that day, was a part of my life, long ago. Then…” I shrugged. “I don’t know. The war ended and so did our relationship.”
“Oh?” she asked, curious.
I nodded. “I… I wouldn’t say we were ever in a deep relationship, but… I guess I’d hoped we could be.”
The memories filtered back to me. So much of that time I didn’t want to remember. The Siege of Vestrea had been… horrific.
Kel had been the one shining light in that abysmal Hellscape.
“We were lovers and… very passionate.” I blushed a bit admitting this, but Veora made me feel so comfortable that it passed quickly. She didn’t judge, just listened.
“The war was… horrible and our moments together were all that kept me sane some days. We were in the same mercenary company so there wasn’t much privacy. But we’d sneak away to dark corners and… ah… well, you know. I thought he loved me.”
“I sense a ‘but’?” she asked.
“Indeed.” I sighed. “When the war ended and the siege on Vestrea was lifted?—”
“Wait, Vestrea? You were at the siege of Vestrea? I hear that was horrible.”
“It was.” And that was all I’d say on that.
Yet listening to Veora’s soft humming soothed me and I found myself going on.
“We were all happy when the armistice was called and we could go home. But our company had to stay for a little longer to oversee some of the aid coming into the city.”
I drew in a long breath. This was the hard part. “One day Kel… he came to me and kissed me passionately with a strange smile on his face and… and said he’d be back, but nothing more about where he was going. Then… he vanished.”
I shuddered out a breath then forced a smile, telling myself I wouldn’t cry. I’d cried enough over that man and hated every tear.
“I thought he’d return later that day and when he didn’t, I asked his father, Drako, the leader of our crew, where Kel had gone. He said he didn’t know, only that Kel had asked for special permission to leave and hadn’t said when he’d be back.”
“I waited for him for days, but he never returned.” I shook my head at the heavy memories, swallowing around a lump in my throat.
“I was devastated. Even though the war was over, I was surrounded by so much desolation and death and horror that I’d needed some comfort. But he’d disappeared. He’d said he loved me, then… he abandoned me when I’d needed him the most!”
My voice had risen, so I drew several long breaths to calm myself. My expression turned sour. I wasn’t proud of what I’d done next.
“I was so lost and uncertain. My sergeant found me crying my brains out. He held me close and whispered some kind words and… I’m ashamed to say… I’d needed to be with someone so I… took some comfort from him that night.”
I grimaced.
“That turned out to be a mistake. He was not what you’d call a patient lover, nor particularly skilled, but he’d been a warm body next to me in the darkness and that had helped.”
I sighed heavily, shaking my head.
“As for Kel, he never returned as far as I know. Some of the crew said he’d come back at one point then left again, but I’d never seen him. That was it. He’d deserted me when I’d needed him most. Then, when our company finally returned to Pearlia, he was here. Apparently, he’d been here all along. I couldn’t face him, and he couldn’t face me. So, we left it at that.”
“That’s horrible, Tisi. I’m so sorry.” Veora reached across the table to take my hand. Her warmth and compassion helped to restore me to myself as I wiped a single tear from my eye with my free hand. I loathed remembering those hard days.
“It’s nothing really. I’m well over him now.” I smiled.
We chatted for a bit longer before I escorted Veora back to her house. Walking home again, I realized I felt far better than I had in a long time. I’d never thought telling anyone about Kel and the war would help, but it had.
I smiled and even hummed to myself as I returned home, very much looking forward to my training with Leo later today.