11. LUNA
Luna
I can’t breathe.
The suited man is at my side, whispering soft words in stark contrast to the suited goons I’m usually dealing with. When I first stepped in here, I was terrified. It was like they had somehow caught up with me and were just waiting for me. Instead, this man seems to belong here and I finally make the connection between the suit and Griffin that this man must be the lawyer.
Griffin’s lawyer.
His boyfriend.
My eyes widen at the connection as Griffin takes timid steps closer. He’s not the sweet piece of sunshine I remember. His gray eyes are duller than they usually were and the way he keeps wringing his hands together tells me that he’s nervous. Why wouldn’t he be? I left him.
I need to leave. There’s people after me and there’s no way I can bring this kind of trouble to his doorstep. What was I thinking, taking on this editing job for closure ? Besides, I slept with his friend. My face scrunches up as I try to wade through my thoughts. Casey’s ‘gay’ comment sits forefront and center which is amusing because I know for a fact that Griffin considers himself bi.
We had our moments of experimentation and I saw my fair share of spiced moments between Griffin and one of his classmates, moments that I thoroughly encouraged.
Why the fuck am I thinking about this?
A small hand on my back has me jerking back to the present and pulling away from Griffin’s boyfriend. What was his name again? Nova. I clutch my bag tighter to my back, hating that I’m pushing myself into a corner rather than toward the door. Nova is safe. Realistically, I know that but he’s wearing a suit and his hair is slicked back and…
Two seconds later, familiar arms are wrapped around me, the comforting musk of a man I never wanted to leave suffocating my senses. “I never got to say goodbye,” Griffin whispers into my neck and I can’t help but break down.
“You can’t. We can’t. You have Nova and I… I don’t want to hurt you.” I need to get myself together, edit his work, and leave Spring Haven. Why did I think I was going to be able to do this? Griffin bands his arms tighter around me, refusing to let me go when I press against his chest.
He places small kisses alongside the curve of my neck, rocking us back and forth. “Hurt me for what? Precious, you left without an explanation and-” Griffin pulls away to look at my face, tears streaming down my cheeks as I fail to hold it together. My gaze darts to the door and then back at him, relieved that no one else has entered in the last few moments.
Nova tilts his head to the side, “You keep doing that. Are you expecting someone?” When I don’t answer, he adds. “Is someone after you?”
I shrink against Griffin’s chest just as the door rattles, my entire body on alert. Rome steps through, frowning when he catches me in Griffin’s arms. I untangle myself from him and inch toward the door, my hands raised to keep everyone at arms’ length. “I have to go.”
“You’re safe here. Trust me.”
Two things I haven’t trusted for the last six years. How can I? How can I believe that I would be safe anywhere until that loan is paid off? And trust? People have to earn trust and I haven’t been in any one place long enough for trust to be built. I will not be trusting anyone, not even Griffin’s warm embrace or Rome’s perfect smile or Nova’s gentle but firm touch.
Rome curls an arm around my waist and I fight his hold, my breath coming in quick pants. My vision blurs as my fingers dig into his shirt, my head swimming with chaotic thoughts. The only thing I want to do right now is run.
“Luna?” Griffin asks.
Rome slides a gentle hand around the side of my neck, his thumb pressing up against my chin until my tear-filled eyes meet his. “Want to tell us what’s going on?”
“Not particularly, no. Can I—I just need to go back to my room.”
Griffin steps toward us, “Is what you’re running from the same reason you left me?”
The same reason you left me.
His gray eyes flicker with a sadness I thought I felt alone. I thought I was the only one dealing with that burden but his expression tells me that he feels the same pain as I did. As I do.
A cry tears from my throat at the fact that I didn’t just break me—I broke him too.
I’m still lightly struggling against Rome’s hold, hoping he’ll just let me escape. I can have Griffin’s manuscript emailed and I don’t really need to be here as we discuss. What’s more, is that Nova’s presence is starting to terrify me. Well, not Nova but the presence of a suited man in this room. His eyes are much softer than the goons usually after me but I’m having a hard time separating the two at the moment.
Griffin moves closer until he’s at my back, both men silently holding me in what feels like a practiced embrace. It feels perfect right here, almost safe.
“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.”
“I need Nova to change,” I push out. The tension in the room thickens and that sudden urge to run resurfaces. “I shouldn’t have come. I’ll tell Max it was my fault and-”
Griffin presses his lips against the back of my head and for the first time in years when someone touches my backpack, I don’t immediately freak out. “I can’t lose you again, precious.” His voice is raw with need as I turn around just in time to see my ray of sunshine drop to his knees, pleading with me to stay and explain my absence. My resolve for closure and to leave again is breaking.
Everything is messed up and I should have known that after seeing Griffin again he would never allow me to leave. He was and still is my safe place. I drop to my knees in front of him, not sure what I’m supposed to say. I don’t have to say anything, though, as he tugs me into his lap, one arm banded around my waist and the other caressing my cheek as he looks deep into my eyes. “What happened? Where did you go? Why did you leave?”