13. LUNA
Luna
W e’re alone but I have no idea what to do—with my words, my hands, my eyes, so I just stare at my lap, content to have Griffin hold me against his side, his lips on my forehead as he rocks me back and forth. I don’t feel like I deserve this after everything I’ve put him through, not to mention the protection that Rome and Nova are now offering.
“I don’t bite, Luna.”
“I know. I just…” I cut myself off, not sure where I was going with that statement.
“You ran trying to protect me but you don’t have to do that anymore.” He lets out a small sigh as he pulls away before twisting my seat to face him. I feel exposed with my knees brushing against his, his hands on my upper thighs as he captures my attention. “Precious, I have no idea what you went through and I can’t imagine the pain and turmoil you’ve suffered over the past six years but you don’t have to run anymore.”
I can see that he’s trying to avoid the typical ‘you’re safe’ statements because I won’t believe them. For some reason though, I feel like if he says it, I might. Maybe. Probably not.
“What can I do to calm your nerves?”
“Tequila.” I push out, a sour laugh following.
A silly grin spreads across his lips. “I don’t have that but-” He pops to his feet and heads for the small fridge in the corner by the lounge I was sitting on earlier. “Don’t tell Rome. I have some Bailey’s that I can pop into a Nespresso. That work?” He holds up a liter bottle and points to the coffee maker on a nearby stand. I nod, watching him prepare it for me, wondering where life steered me wrong.
I wish I had told him what was going on the moment I knew. Dealing with all this shit alone has taken a toll on the both of us and now in less than 24 hours, I’ve somehow tangled myself up with two men and a third who’s intent on protecting me. And I know they will. Or at least they’ll try to.
Griffin returns with my coffee and I chug it, relishing the delicious hint of alcohol that the Bailey’s provides and the nearly burning warmth that coats my throat. It’s nowhere near as good as Rome’s coffee but it hits the spot, the warmth and swirl of alcohol relaxing me. I twist around and check the door, frowning when nothing happens. I swear I heard something move. Griffin takes my anxiety in stride, moving my chair to face the door so that he’s now sitting with his back to it.
He’s always been like that, putting my needs first, and reading me so that I don’t have to voice my fears. I cling to my mug, trying not to fall apart again.
“Would you like another one, Luna?” I shake my head and he just offers me a soft smile. “No one comes here other than Rome and Nova. Maybe a few of the older ladies who drop off food because they think none of us can cook.” Griffin shrugs, his gray eyes brightening a little. It’s starting to feel like the Thursday afternoons six years ago when I found myself in Griffin’s living room, snuggled into his lap as we spoke shit about our professors. This feels natural, comfortable.
Griffin’s parents passed away when we were in high school, leaving him a sizable amount of money to rent an apartment while we were in college. While I missed the few holidays I spent with his family, I relished the moments with Griffin when it was just the two of us. When I had to worry about nothing more than the man holding me.
I sigh and return my attention to Griffin, his last sentence finally registering. “She brings you food? Well, that’s good. You never could cook.” Just the memory of Griffin squealing when a fire erupted on his stove because of charred cheese brings a smile to my face. The poor man could take on the world, just not the kitchen.
“No, I can’t but Nova can.”
My brows crease. “Nova? The guy who looks like he belongs in a gang?” Despite the suit, Nova is gorgeous in a very extinguished kind of way. Very put together, slightly older than I usually go for, but a version of tall, dark, and handsome that I could absolutely see Griffin being with. “You all look like you belong in a gang, really,” I say. And they do. Between the tattoos, numerous piercings, and the general vibe in this office, I would have thought that this was a rendezvous rather than a writer’s office.
Not that I mind the eye candy.
The vibe is just… confusing.
Again, Griffin just shrugs. His hands inch toward me and then fold in his lap. “Something to do, I guess.” He makes tattoos sound like stickers, like they just decided to decorate one day.
“You know the PR Manager—Yana— used that to spin tales about you? Apparently, you’re a brooding bad boy who’s an easy lay.”
Griffin barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “She’s been trying to spin stories for a few years now but yeah, the last few editors thought they’d be able to edit and get a little something something on the side. Never happened and Nova always had to make a show of it before kicking them out.”
That has me tilting my head to the side because as much as I loved watching Griffin lose himself with someone else, I have never known him to submit to anyone. Just thinking of Griffin pinned against the wall, Nova demanding his submission has me pressing my thighs together. I can only imagine what Nova must have done to make Casey understand that her advances weren’t wanted.
“I know that look, Luna. You want to watch, don’t you?”
“No,” I squeak. “We can’t do this. I… I’m so happy that I got to see you again and clear the air but I don’t believe for a second that Nova is just okay with whatever this is and it’s weird to just jump back in.”
“Luna-”
“I slept with Rome,” I blurt out.
“He’s my best friend.”
“And I met him yesterday and I’m leaving in two weeks. Griffin!”
He snaps to attention, realizing that I’m not joking. “These feelings aren’t one-sided, Luna.” Griffin reaches forward and wraps his thick fingers around my arms, gently tugging until I give. I find myself straddling his lap, both of us letting out twin sighs of relief as my hands come to rest on his shoulders, his now caressing my waist. “I still love you. I always have.”
“I’ve thought about you every fucking day since I left, sunshine.” His nickname tumbles from my lips and his gaze dips down to the necklace I still wear after all these years. “I won’t bring my problems to your doorstep and I won’t ruin what you have with Nova to bring up something that might fizzle out. We were kids when that happened and as much as I want to, I think closure is best.” I’m lying through the skin of my teeth but I won’t hurt Griffin so that I can be selfish.
His fingers dig into my waist, causing me to move forward, my thighs widening as I sink down further onto his lap. A gasp falls from my lips as his hands slip up a little higher, catching the hem of my shirt so that he’s touching the bare skin at my waist. “Do you really believe that or is that what you think you need to say, Luna?” Those gray eyes darken with a fierceness I’ve missed and when he drags me down so that his arousal is pressing against my core and I lose the ability to do anything other than whimper.
“Luna, precious, you have been a part of me since the day I met you in fucking middle school. I’m not letting you go without a fight.” He thrusts upward and I tighten my hold on his shoulders, knowing that Griffin’s resolve will break me. He doesn’t care that I’ve been running for six years or that I look like a frumpled old woman. He wants nothing more than to pick up where we left off. Regardless of the consequences. “I can’t imagine what you’ve had to endure out there with no support system, money, or someone to call home. Luna, I hate that you thought you couldn’t lean on me but you have someone in your corner now.”
“Griffin-” A tear falls down my cheek and a shuddering breath leaves my lips as his hands slide up my back beneath my shirt and my backpack.
“Tell me not to kiss you, Luna.”
I answer him by angling my chin down, Griffin pulling me forward until our lips meet. They’re just as soft as they used to be as he holds me against him. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, my fingers sinking into his hair. I’ve thought about this moment for years and it’s just as beautiful and heartbreaking as I thought it would be. His musk suffocates me once again as he sups from me, reminding us both of what I left behind.
When his fingers brush over a rather large scar just below my shoulder blade, I tense, Griffin halting the kiss and searching my expression. “Luna, fuck, what happened?” His words come out pained, his jaw pulled tight. I know that if I give him a name, he would absolutely bring me back their head on a stick to ease my fears. Too bad that it’s not that easy.
“Not yet,” I whisper. “I’m not ready to tell you.”
He brushes his lips against mine again. “Then I’ll make the most of it.”
We stay there for several moments, kissing and touching, his hands no longer roaming as I cling to him as if he’ll disappear. My hips move of their own accord, searching for friction where there is none. A needy whine tears from me and I still, unsure if I want to do this. “Griffin.”
“You lead, Luna. I’ll follow.”
I slide off of his lap knowing that last week’s me would clear her throat and then choose to return to the task at hand—the manuscript I still haven’t seen. But I’m not her and I might not have the two weeks I want with this man. I might only have today and I’m going to use it. I’ve been given permission and hell if I’m going to give it up.
Gesturing to the steps, I draw my bottom lip in between my teeth, Griffin jumping to his feet and gingerly taking my hand to lead me up there. I’m not sure what I expected but it wasn’t the full, open apartment awaiting me. I don’t have time to truly dwell on the layout as he drags me into a room located at the far end.
“Is this the room where you-”
A wild grin splits across his face. “Luna, I do crawl into his bed most nights but his room is that one.” He points to the door a few steps away. “I wouldn’t spend my first night back with you in his bed.” I know Griffin sees the heat in my eyes at that idea but I’ll never admit to the fantasies spilling into my mind. He manages a chuckle as he takes my face in his hands and peppers kisses on my lips.
He swings his door open and throws his arm wide to a room that is wholly and unapologetically Griffin. Where most might have thought there would be navy blues and grays intertwined with dark furniture, I’m not surprised to see the swirls of pale yellow and greens, reminding me of spring. “Luna-”
I cut him off by stepping into his chest and rising onto my tiptoes to kiss him again. “I’ve missed you.”
He hesitates before his hand slides around the back of my neck and into my hair, somehow successfully pulling it out of the ponytail. Curls cascade around my shoulders and his eyes glitter as he watches them slowly bounce. The other lands on the back of my thigh, as he gathers me up and then guides me to straddle his waist. Griffin doesn’t break our kiss as he walks toward the mattress, gently laying me down before pulling away. “Luna, I love you but I’m not fucking you with a backpack on.”
“Such dirty words, Griffin. What about in doggy style?” Playfully I climb onto my hands and knees, giving him my ass and a little wiggle. He growls, pulling me to the edge of the bed so that my feet are flat on the floor. I know what I’ve just started, what with the way he hastily rips my bag off my back and throws it by the door. It’s almost as if he did it on purpose so that I can still see it.
In the next moment, I find him rolling up my shirt but the same insecurities from last night wriggle their way into this moment and I shake my head, grabbing at the hem of my clothing. I twist around and meet his eyes, hoping he understands. There were a few times when we were younger that I needed the same reassurance. I always wanted to be perfect for this man and didn’t want him to see the changes my body went through. Griffin took that in stride as he did everything else by slowly showing me that he loved me regardless.
“Lights off. I can do that.” He presses a kiss to my lips and reaches toward the lamp before clicking it off. It’s like the entire room falls into darkness and I notice that the shades covering the windows are actually blackout curtains. “Good?”
“Yes,” I breathe as his hands return to my waist. This time instead of moving north, they fiddle with the button on my jeans and shove the fabric and my panties halfway down my legs. I try to kick out of them but he merely twists me back around and bends me over the mattress.
“I want to feel you, Luna. Truly feel you squeezing my cock like a vice grip. I want to torture you a little for leaving me here, not knowing if you were alive, if you were okay, or even where you had gone. Do you know how many nights I wondered if you were safe? Or if your body was lying in a ditch? I didn’t even know why you left. Your mother was no help.” His grunt punctuates his sentence as he kicks my feet apart and I fall forward, unable to hold myself up.
Another version of myself might have cared where my mother had gone but I stopped worrying about her when she pushed this debt onto me. I hear his zipper being undone just before the foil of a condom is ripped open. “Dreamt every fucking day that you would just show up and tell me that it was all a mistake.”
“Griffin.” Tears prick the edges of my eyes as I whisper his name, moaning as the blunt head of his cock presses against my entrance. My fingers curl into the covers as he spears into me, taking what he needs and leaving me to melt in his grip. His hands have my hips in a punishing hold as he fucks me hard and rough, every thrust more passionate than the first. He’s trying to repair the heart that I broke and it isn’t until a cry tumbles from my lips that he pulls out.
Swiftly, he rips my pants farther down my legs until the fabric drops to the floor, yanking off my shoes as well. Then he flips me over before sliding back in, his face inches from mine.
“Precious, I missed you so fucking much. We lost six years. Six years but I’m not losing another moment.” Then he kisses me and I’m overwhelmed by everything that is Griffin. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he continues to fuck me but his strokes are long and sensual, pushing me toward an orgasm that’s slowly creeping up. My pussy flutters around his cock as he rocks his hips against mine, both of us tangled up in each other.
Griffin swallows my moans as one of his hands moves to cup my cheek, the other staying put on my waist. They don’t roam, just squeeze every now and then when the passion between us becomes almost suffocating.
“Come for me, Precious. Coat my cock with your orgasm. Let me feel you like you’ve never left.”
My back bows off the bed as he drags his cock out and thrusts back in one more time. We come together, the heat of his release throwing me over the edge as pleasure shoots through my veins. My nails dig into his shoulders as he stuffs his head in the crook of my neck, not moving from this spot. Most of his weight hovers on top of me but I don’t want him to move. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
“Sorry. I meant for that to be a little more romantic,” Griffin purrs into my neck.
“If you don’t think having sex after reconnecting with a high school sweetheart regardless of the position is romantic then all the movies are wrong.”
Griffin snorts as he slides his cock from me, my legs dropping back to the mattress. He discards the condom in a nearby trashcan and tucks himself back into his pants before grabbing a few wipes from the bedside table and wiping my inner thighs. I flinch at the sudden cold on my skin, Griffin just dragging me closer until he’s finished, mumbling a soundless sorry. He licks his lips as he stares at my bare pussy and even though I know he’s not seeing much without the lights on, I know where his head is at.
“ Later, ” I say before sitting up and tugging him close for another kiss. I want more but if I don’t produce at least something, Max will have my ass. Still, I make no move to put my clothes back on, sliding back onto the mattress until I hit the headboard and then reach for Griffin. He follows, curling into my chest. I’ve missed this, wrapping myself around someone as they hold me. We can still talk business like this, right?
Once again, silence falls between us. It’s comfortable and neither one of us finds the need to talk, enjoying each other’s company. My mind is racing a mile a minute, though, running through every possible scenario of how this could go wrong but Griffin isn’t fazed. “I can hear you thinking.”
“I’m always thinking. You know that.”
“I do. Always had a plan for everything, even before a plan was needed. How about I give you something else to think about?”
“I’m sore.”
Griffin barks out a laugh, the sound vibrating through my chest. He places a kiss between my breasts before speaking. “Luna, Rome take you for a little trip?”
“Don’t… isn’t it weird?”
“You and Rome? No. He bakes. Everybody loves a baker and he’s… Rome. Besides, he’s basically a brother. If you weren’t mine, I would absolutely recommend him. The fact that you found him on your own just makes this more interesting.” He presses another kiss to my chest, a little higher this time, teetering on the edge of my collarbone.
“That’s weird.”
“Luna, we used to share people all the time.”
I’m glad the lights are off as I sink my hands into his hair, holding him tight against me. Griffin isn’t wrong. We shared. We watched. We attended parties in Red Brook that allowed us to explore and partake in part of a nightlife that wasn’t available in Spring Haven. However, there was always one rule—that we were both in the room. What Griffin is insinuating can’t happen. I just met Rome and Griffin and I… well, our relationship is only a fraction of what it used to be.
“Let me give you something else to dwell on,” Griffin offers again, untangling himself from me and reaching over the side of the bed. He retrieves his phone, scrolling several times before thrusting it into my face. The light illuminates the small area around us and the lax smile on his lips makes me happy.
My attention turns to the phone. In large bold-type, Risky Taste is written. I scroll a few times, frowning at the lack of feeling in these paragraphs. The main character, Noah, is a gorgeously tortured Military doctor and from just what I can pick up, has gone through the wringer a few times. Unfortunately, I just can’t connect with the passage. “What is this?”
“My book,” he mutters, scooting closer. He places his elbow on the pillow and props up his head.
I try reading through it again but I can’t. This isn’t the work of our most popular writer—not because I’ve read him—but because I know that Max would never publish something like this. “Seriously? Griffin this is…”
“An attempt.” Something in his words reveals a wariness that defines what I’m reading as if he couldn’t find the spark he needed to give the characters their own stages. The personalities fall flat and the next character introduced makes me sigh.
Reaching over, I run a hand up and down his arm, trying to bring back the smile I love so much. “Are you sure you’re the Griffin Solace? Where did you hide him?”
The playfulness dies on my lips when he speaks. “I… wasn’t in the right headspace. Three days from now is the sixth anniversary of the day you left.”
Oh. Shit. Of course. “I really hurt you,” I whisper, laying the phone down. I don’t want him to see the anguish in my expression, nor the regret I have for leaving—nor the fact that I may have to leave again.
“No, Luna. You didn’t hurt me. Circumstances made it so that we couldn’t be together and I’ll hate your father until the day I die for dumping this shit onto you.”
“How could you still love me after six years?”
“Because you’ve never once done something without a reason. And because your letter said that you would always love me. Because when you saw me you didn’t actually run. Because when you came closer, I saw that you still wore our necklace. Because when you had the chance, you leaned into my touch rather than away. You don’t have to say the words, Luna. I can feel them. I know you don’t want to love me because you think it might bring danger here but I told you once and I’ll tell you again. You will always have a home with me, Luna. Always. ”
“Thank you,” I mutter, pulling him farther up to my chest. “For believing in me.”
“Do you think you can fix this dumpster fire?”
“In two weeks? God, you need a fucking miracle, Griffin.”
“Well, I’m glad she showed up on the doorstep this morning.”