Chapter Eight #2
He peeled the delicate folds gently apart, opening her up even more to his questing tongue, and he took his time rousing her, taking her so close to the edge and then pulling back until she began begging him to stop teasing her, whimpering that she couldn’t stand it any longer, breathily panting that she needed to come.
Every uttered plea filled him with visceral pleasure. He could feel the steady pulse of his erection, demanding satisfaction.
He didn’t speak as he stood up and swept her off the lounger in one smooth, hurried movement.
‘You’re driving me mad,’ he muttered in a driven undertone. ‘How do you do that to me, woman?’
He looked down at her small, perfect breasts, at the nipples still glistening from his tongue, and wanted to come on the spot.
He made it to their cabin on the yacht in the nick of time.
The bedroom on the yacht, with its luxurious, high-end en suite, was huge. The bed was king-sized and indulgently comfortable. The air conditioning had been left on and it was cool as he nudged open the door with Erin still in his arms.
He had to clear his head to slow himself down, to make time for the little foil packet of condoms he kept by the bed.
Most of all he had to make sure not to look at her, naked and flushed on the bed. One glance at her and the unthinkable might happen.
He donned protection with shaking hands and didn’t bother trying to play it cool or to take his time.
He simply thrust into her, long and hard and deep on a guttural groan of fulfilment and only just managed to hold off his climax until he felt her body moving in tune with his and her orgasm tearing into her.
Immediately, he came with a long shudder that left him weak in the aftermath.
He collapsed onto his back and let his breathing do its best to return to normal then he flipped onto his side and looked at her.
‘You look as though you’re falling asleep,’ he teased. ‘Is that what I do for you? Send you to sleep?’
Eyes closed, Erin smiled but then she wriggled onto her side as well and drowsily opened her eyes to look at him.
Her busy thoughts were returning.
Raffaele might enjoy this vacuum but sooner rather than later reality was waiting for them and they would have to confront it.
When he had suggested staying on in the Caribbean, sailing down the Grenadines and taking a little time out, she had played it cool on the outside but inside, she had jumped at the idea.
He’d mentioned something about a week. He needed a break, he’d told her, holding her and kissing her, and since he was the boss he could do as he damn well pleased.
He’d grinned and told her that as his secretary, she was duty-bound to agree with him.
‘We let this run its course,’ he’d said with infectious confidence, ‘and then we put it behind us. But if we don’t see it out…it’ll stay there, eating away at both of us, making it impossible to work alongside one another.’
She’d agreed.
It had sounded simple enough.
It wasn’t simple now and truthfully, it never had been. She’d just kidded herself because the thought of saying goodbye to him was overwhelming.
‘I guess,’ she murmured without any hint of anxiety in her voice, ‘we should talk about where this isn’t going and start thinking about getting back to real life in London.
I’ve been checking my emails daily and there are things waiting to be done that can’t be done here, even with an internet connection. ’
‘Where this isn’t going?’
‘Let’s not play make-believe, Raffaele,’ Erin said drily. ‘I know you. Don’t forget I’ve sent many a Dear John token to girlfriends who were ushered out the back door so that you could open the front door to their replacement.’
She stroked his cheek and knew that she was mentally saying goodbye.
How could she just carry on as though nothing had happened when they returned to London?
He would be able to do that because he hadn’t emotionally invested, but she wouldn’t and that was a deep, devastating ache in her she would have to deal with over time.
She just suddenly needed to know how much time she had left with him.
‘That’s a little on the harsh side!’
‘But untrue?’
She saw him shift uncomfortably, saw the dark flush stain his cheekbones. He couldn’t deny it even if he found it a little too blunt for his liking.
‘Define untrue.’
‘You’re an idiot, Raffaele.’
‘I don’t have a revolving door of women! And besides…you know why I never promise commitment. I’ve told you about my parents, their dysfunctional marriage…’
‘You don’t have to be afraid of committing to a relationship because the example that was set for you was a bad one.’
‘No? Is that the sound of you trying to psychoanalyse me?’
‘It’s the sound of me trying to be logical.’
‘Erin…’
‘What?’
‘You know who I am, don’t you? You know that I’m not someone who’s spent his life thinking he can’t commit because he hasn’t happened to find the right woman. I mean, Erin, you know that I’m not interested in commitment…’
Erin knew that this was a warning. A gentle one. This was a fling and nothing more than that. Don’t go getting any ideas.
‘You bet. And sure, I understand that you feel you have to be careful…but will you never be tempted to settle down one day? Have a family? I don’t care whether you remain a confirmed bachelor for the rest of your days.
I don’t care if the only companions you have when you’re a wizened old man are a bunch of cats. I’m just curious.’
Raffaele couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
‘That’s a very seductive picture you paint of me.
Wizened old man? Well, if that turns out to be the case then it’ll be no great shock if the only creatures that actually want to hang around me are a bunch of cats.
’ He paused and then said with a slight shrug.
‘I expect the time will come. An heir will have to inherit the throne.’ He smiled with self-irony.
‘But when that time comes, I won’t be doing it for love.
I’ll be doing it because it makes sense.
No illusions that could lead to disappointment. ’
‘Yes, but isn’t that what your parents did? Married to unite two powerful families? No illusions there that could lead to disappointment?’
‘Who said either of them are disappointed?’ His mouth curled derisively.
‘I assume they both accepted certain terms and conditions within their union and one of those just happened to be infidelity. You’ll find that there are many uber wealthy families where a lot is tolerated for the sake of the status quo. ’
‘But you would never tolerate that.’
‘I’ve always been a one-woman man. That won’t change if and when I ever decide to tie the knot.
That said, within those parameters, I would need a woman who wasn’t in search of romance, who was practical about what I could bring to the marriage.
Stability, monogamy and a great deal of money.
In return, I would want a calm home front, someone undemanding, there to raise whatever children we might have.
Someone who would accept that I work long hours and wouldn’t nag to do things I probably wouldn’t have time to do. ’
‘Things like what?’
‘Time off work for spontaneous picnics in a park somewhere…chocolate and flowers and love notes left under pillows…’
‘That sounds very specific.’
Raffaele hesitated. ‘I took a chance on love once upon a long time ago,’ he said heavily. ‘I was in my early twenties and obviously hadn’t yet bought completely into the mindset I now have. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well.’
‘What happened?’
‘She was very sweet, very wide-eyed and romantic. She was everything I wasn’t and I honestly believed that if anyone could persuade me that love was possible, then it was her.
I thought I could give her what she wanted but it turned out that the lessons I’d learned had been too well ingrained to be cast aside.
I was building my own empire and time was in scant supply.
She wanted more than the guy who worked all hours and I was puzzled by her growing demands for more of…
me. When I did make an effort…she complained that I was still too wrapped up in work to give her my full attention.
The sweet-natured girl turned into a shrew and I could hardly blame her. ’
‘How sad.’
‘Timely,’ Raffaele said flatly. ‘We could have been married…had kids, and then the whole situation would have been a million times more complicated. As things turned out, we ended the relationship and after a few months she actually got back in touch with me to say exactly what I felt at the time we ended things.’
‘Which was?’
‘That it was better the end came sooner rather than later. All’s well that ended well. You’ll be excited to know that she found her dream guy a year after meeting me and is now happily married with two kids. She invited me to the wedding but I thought it tactful not to go.’
Raffaele heard the cool, detached indifference in his voice when he recounted this story.
Inside, though, he could feel, once again, the pain of finally accepting that that life would never be his.
A life of love, vulnerability, of sharing hopes and dreams with the anchor of a woman he loved by his side.
This, what he had now, his work and his women, was his life and always would be.
And now Erin was a part of that life. He liked that. Liked the thought of them continuing what they had. And he’d figured out a way to make it possible.
Yes, it was just another relationship based on sex, but it was good, and he wasn’t ready for it to be over. He’d shared a lot with her and against all odds, he had more to share. She’d got under his skin in ways he hadn’t predicted and he wanted to keep her there.
His head told him for the time being.
His heart…? Perhaps the story was a little more nuanced. Did he dare explore those nuances?
Raffaele frowned as blurry, uneasy feelings tried to break through the logic of his thoughts.
He wouldn’t allow that to happen.