Chapter Five #2
He could pretend his ego was stung that Jade hadn’t tried to find him, and it was.
He was genuinely affronted that she had come so close to marrying someone else while knowing the baby was his.
He had worked too hard to rise to this level of wealth and respect to be passed over as a father for his own child. That was beyond insulting.
He could also tell himself he had stopped her wedding for the sake of his reputation, which was also true. He couldn’t be seen as a man sowing wild oats. He had to own his faults and step up to his responsibilities. His personal moral compass demanded it as strongly as the rest of the world.
Beneath all of that, however, was a more acquisitive compulsion, one that flared emerald green every time he thought of her in that church, about to pledge herself to another man. Yes, he wanted to claim his flesh and blood, but he wanted to claim her.
The scorching encounter in the library flashed into his mind all too often. The memory was so unsettling in its power, he had spent months downplaying it. Trying to forget her.
Because he had instinctively sensed she could make him forget himself and act in ways that could derail his life.
Which was exactly what she was doing.
What if her baby wasn’t his?
He made himself confront the question, but experienced an immediate, visceral reaction that said, It has to be. She’s mine. They’re both mine.
Mine. What a barbaric word. But it had been nipping at him from the moment Yardley had said, Her father bought her a husband.
In that moment, as he’d faced the prospect of Jade being completely off-limits—married to someone else—he’d had to acknowledge a deeply primitive possessiveness.
Inspired by what? An orgasm?
He refused to be one of those men so struck by lust that he allowed a woman to lead him around by his libido. He sure as hell wouldn’t allow himself to feel anything deeper.
You don’t know what you’ll do for someone you love.
Luca rubbed the tension from his face. He needed to pull back from Jade, rather than jump onto a bullet train into matrimony.
He was reaching for his phone to delay his flight when her angry shout resounded through the wall.
Jade accepted Giselle’s call with the intention of promising she could work remotely from Milan, but Giselle went on the attack so quickly, Jade was struck dumb.
“You’re sly, aren’t you?” Giselle affected a tone of amusement, but Jade heard the scathing contempt beneath it. “I wondered where he had gone that night. I guess you can thank me for that golden ticket you’re growing in your belly. Congratulations.”
“I didn’t do this on purpose.” Jade stopped herself from adding, I didn’t even know who he was. It would make this infinitely worse.
“You’re still screwing me over, Jade,” Giselle said testily.
“I can’t be the brand of Runaway Brides.
I have a whole launch planned around your wedding.
What am I supposed to do now? Why did you accept the gown if you didn’t plan on going through with the wedding?
Why didn’t you tell me that Luca Cardillo was your baby’s father? ”
“Because it’s none of your business,” Jade snapped. Snapped. “I didn’t want to go to your stupid party in the first place. I know you only brought me there as an insult to Abigail.”
“Is that what this is? You’re getting back at me because bloody Abigail showed up at my party? You’re such a child. You know what else you are? Fired. I don’t need this.”
“That is the only good news I’ve had today!” Jade cried, and jabbed to end the call first.
Then she began to shake.
She didn’t burn bridges. Ever. She certainly didn’t trust that Luca was a safe side to be on when she did.
Her shouting had brought him to the arched doorway. He glowered at her while she edged ever closer to a complete nervous breakdown.
“This is your fault,” she said, voice bouncing out in a way that left a sting in her throat.
She wasn’t just losing control over her life. She was losing control of herself.
Tears welled. She fought them with everything in her because she hadn’t allowed herself to fall apart when she learned she was pregnant.
Not when her father had berated her for Giselle’s gossip and told her how she would “fix” it.
Not when Luca had crashed her wedding and toppled her tentative house of cards.
She wasn’t going to fall apart now when she’d lost her job. She couldn’t. Her mother depended on her. She had a baby on the way. She couldn’t afford tears. Tears had never solved anything. She needed a plan.
But her chest felt so tight. She kept gasping for air and it came in as though she sipped it through a very thin straw. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen. That scared her.
“Jade.” Luca crouched in front of her and rubbed her thighs. “You’re hyperventilating. Slow your breath.”
She wanted to knock his hands away in panic, as though he was suffocating her with his bare hands, but her fists clenched into his sleeves, holding on for dear life because she was pretty sure she was dying. What would happen to the baby?
This was bad. So bad. Sharp tears stung her eyes.
“I can’t—” Her voice choked itself out. She tried to blink the blur from her vision, terrified by the way her chest felt clogged and crushed.
“You’re having a panic attack, but you’re safe, Jade.” His tone was weirdly calm and gentle. “Long slow breaths, now. Take it in while I count.”
She clenched her eyes shut, never more scared in her life, but his voice seemed to lead her out of a brambled forest of adrenaline toward a wide, quiet meadow of emotions that tilted like something at a fun house, lurching her from anxiety to resentment to relief to fresh angst.
Eventually, her breaths eased and she came back into her body. His hand was on the side of her neck, the heel of his palm against the thudding pound of her pulse.
When she eased her grip from his arms, he stood and fetched a box of tissues from across the room. She plucked a few to dry her cheeks.
He disappeared and came back with a glass of water.
“How, um…” She blew her nose, then sipped the water. “I thought my heart was exploding. How did you know what it was?”
“My sister used to get them before she had to perform.”
“You have a sister?” She latched onto the small detail as a lifeline to pull herself out of this pit. “What does she do?” She lifted her gritty, salty gaze to his and found him turning withdrawn and unreadable.
“She used to dance. She’s gone now.” He picked up her phone from the carpet. “Who was that? Giselle?”
“Yes. Firing me, thank you very much.” She leaned her elbows on her knees and pressed the tissues against the rise of fresh dampness in her eyes. “I thought I could work remotely until the baby comes. What am I supposed to do now?”
“Did you speak to your mother?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t told her much beyond warning her about the statement and stressing that she wasn’t sure if she would go through with marrying him.
Patricia had sounded both worried and relieved when she had said, I like him better than Reggie, but darling, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
Patricia didn’t like depending on anyone.
She had said many times that she felt a burden on her daughter.
Jade always brushed that aside, but the fact was, Patricia had very real limitations.
And as much as Jade tried to downplay how hard it was to meet her mother’s needs, it was very hard.
She was worried all the time and she had felt spread thin even before she’d become pregnant.
“She knows you’re coming to Milan with me?” Luca asked. “Will she be all right for a week or two while we settle things? Or will your father pester her?”
That was too many questions for her fried brain to parse through. “I don’t know. I’ll call him and tell him if he wants to talk to her, he should talk to me.”
“No. I will make clear to him that if he has anything to say to either of you, he can relay it through me. If your mother or her helper needs something, tell me and I’ll have it looked after.”
“Luca…” She picked up her head, but it felt heavy. All of her did. “You’re taking over. I don’t like it.”
“I am taking over,” he agreed. “I promised you solutions and I’m keeping my word.”
Another breath left her, this one more of a defeated laugh.
“Fine, then. Call my father and stick one more sword in that beast. Let me know how that goes.”
“I will. Now please gather your things. We’re leaving for Sicily.”
“Wait—what?”