Chapter Seven #2
‘I’ve never done this before either,’ she said, huffing out a breath.
‘But I’m happy to be fair about contact.
If you’re ever in the UK you can drop by and visit, with reasonable notice.
A child deserves willing parents in their life.
Even though it’s pretty clear what your thoughts are on the subject. ’
Lily wasn’t cruel. She wouldn’t hold Rocco hostage to this situation if he wanted to see the baby. What she thought about him as an individual didn’t really matter anymore. Their child’s interests were all that was important.
‘But you can be assured, if you decide to never set foot in the UK, our baby will have a good life with me.’
Our baby will have a good life with me.
Rocco’s brain still couldn’t wrap his mind around the situation he found himself in.
He’d had trouble believing the truth of what Lily had told him, but once his logical sensibilities had kicked in he’d realised that it would have been impossible to maintain a lie.
DNA testing would have outed her. Sure, she could have demanded some hush money without the need for testing, but that would have been a bold move.
If he’d called her bluff, the house of cards would have collapsed.
A lot like she had.
Acid burned in his churning gut at the shock of the memory. Her, simply pitching forwards into his arms. Once again, that hadn’t been faked. She’d gone utterly limp as he’d carried her to the bedroom. Whatever he might have believed about her at the time, she hadn’t been faking that.
As for the rest, once again, his life was on a knife edge, waiting for a DNA result. He’d been so sure about what the testing with Leo would show. In his arrogance, that it would prove the man a liar. When it hadn’t …he’d known his world would never be the same.
Now this.
A baby.
Merda. He didn’t have the same confidence and arrogance about this test. Of course, Lily could be mistaken. The child another’s. His stomach roiled at the thought of her with another man, even as a prickle in his consciousness whispered that she was telling the truth.
Yet another truth, his own, was that he didn’t want Lily out of his sight until the DNA results were back. She’d clearly researched him, but he knew nothing about her. There, he was at a complete disadvantage, and he needed to become a quick study. Who was Lily Rutherford?
The one thing he was sure about, she hadn’t been looking after herself. Rest, fluids and nutrition, the doctor had said. He could supply that here whilst he found out more about the potential mother of his child.
‘Is there any family I can call for you?’
It seemed like the right question to ask.
Of course, family could be a complication, but anything could be overcome.
She nibbled on her lower lip, still sitting on the side of the bed.
His bed. He’d not thought when she’d collapsed, and simply brought her straight there.
How many fantasies had he had in this room since Venice, about this very situation.
Them finding each other. Bringing her here.
Even if it was impossible because he hadn’t known her last name …
‘I have no family.’
All alone then. That simplified things and began to solidify the immediate plans in his mind.
‘An employer then? When are they expecting your return?’
She picked at the throw blanket he’d placed over her when he’d laid her on his bed, twisting it in restless fingers. ‘My employer isn’t expecting me back for another ten days or so. But since you believed I was a liar not an hour ago, pardon me for my cynicism over your interest in me now.’
‘You’ve had almost ten weeks to come to terms with this reality. I’ve had barely an hour.’
His scalp prickled uncomfortably. The things she was telling him could lead someone to take advantage if they were the wrong sort of person. With what appeared to be the fragility of her health, Lily was a person who was vulnerable, whether she’d realised it yet, or not.
‘I had no idea I was pregnant in the beginning. I’ve only been sure about five weeks myself. Don’t think having the knowledge that long makes it any better. It came as much of a shock to me as it did to you. More. Since he or she will be my responsibility.’
Something inside Rocco raged against the presumption he’d be excluded from looking after his baby.
He breathed through it. There was still no evidence that this child was his, other than her word.
Then she placed her hand over her belly.
The move didn’t appear confected, but completely natural and automatic.
Protective. A movement that twinged an ache deep inside of him.
Whoever the father may have been, Lily Rutherford was already seeing the baby as under her care.
Would she be a good mother? He supposed being protective now boded well. And if the child was his?
The breath crushed in his chest and an urgent drumbeat struck inside of him.
Since finding out about Leo, he’d tried to reach out to the man.
The enmity between them had been longstanding, but at least Rocco understood it now.
He likely would have reacted the same way.
With rage, as a child rejected by his father, seeing his half-brother with riches whilst he’d lived in poverty …
He looked down at Lily where she sat, still pale as the flower that was her namesake, the Madonna lilies that dotted the garden here.
Looking as if she were deciding whether she could stand, rather than when she would.
What if the baby was his and he sent her away?
He’d witnessed the anger and hatred from Zanetti directed towards Rocco and his father.
Would a child of his one day feel the same if he let its mother go?
‘Don’t bring me home a bastard.’ They had been his father’s words. But Rocco hadn’t understood at the time that they were words spoken from experience.
If he allowed Lily to leave, then wasn’t he the same as his father?
Abandoning his own flesh and blood? And what might happen to that child?
He knew nothing of Lily’s circumstances or what she could provide for a baby.
Whilst he would never allow any child of his to grow up unsupported, would the anger of rejection still be there, poisoning their life one day, like it had poisoned Leo’s?
The thoughts swirled in a conflicting morass as Lily stood. That same incessant voice that had once whispered muse now shouted stop her. A kind of instinct which hinted that if he let her go, something might be lost forever.
‘I have to leave. Could you please call me a cab?’
In no lifetime would she be leaving his house today.
‘You can’t go anywhere. No matter what you say, you’re clearly not well. I’m sure the nuns are kind and caring but what if you fall and no-one’s there to catch you? What then?’
Her eyes widened. Hands clenched at her sides. ‘Are you refusing to let me go?’
He couldn’t stop her, but he wasn’t above playing dirty to keep her here. Using any motherly instincts she had, and guilt, to convince her his home was the best place to stay.
‘The doctor said you needed rest, fluids and nutrition. Can you honestly say you’ve been doing what he suggested up until now?’
A flush of colour rushed to her cheeks. ‘I’ve been doing my best. You have no idea what it’s like.’
‘You’re a young woman, on her own, who’s admitted to me she really has no-one to call apart from her employer.
You told Dr Antonelli that you’ve had “gruelling” morning sickness.
How will you rest when you’re working? When you’re at home, who’s making sure you’re drinking enough, eating enough, when you’re not feeling well?
Who’s there to help you do what’s right for the baby? ’
In that case, the answer was clear. Nobody. His solution would give him time, space. He could learn what he needed to about this woman, and then set a proper course.
‘The answer is plain, Lily. There’s no-one back home to help you. Therefore, you’ll stay here with me.’
Lily’s heart crashed against her ribs. Since ending her engagement with Richard, and in the process destroying any meagre relationship with her family, she’d never felt so alone.
Rocco’s words reverberated through her. ‘There’s no-one back home to help you.
’ The nauseous feeling flooded back, bile rising to her throat because he was right.
She hated it. Outraged at how her body was failing her in stark comparison to Rocco because the man was so strong.
Vibrant, like a force of nature. Lily had liked to think of herself as strong too.
Resilient. She’d fought back against her fiancé, against her parents’ demands.
She’d made clear what she would and wouldn’t accept. But his words …they’d undone her.
How could he demand she stay? The man seemed to openly dislike her. Didn’t believe her. Whilst it took two to tango, she felt right now as if she was standing on the dance floor alone.
‘What do you say?’ he asked.
She had lots of things she could say. How she hated that he’d thought the worst of her. How, in a few cold words, he’d ruined the memory of a magical night that she’d wanted to hold on to forever.
But she didn’t say any of those things, because she was too damn tired, and the way he’d treated her earlier had left her too raw. The fight threatening to bleed right out of her.
‘You don’t believe the baby’s yours.’
‘I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I hadn’t meant what I said.’
She wanted to ask what had changed, but it really didn’t matter. Nothing had changed for her. ‘Don’t pretend to want me here.’
Lily wouldn’t stay where she wasn’t wanted, ever again.