Chapter Thirteen #3
He’d come for her. But that pronouncement could be made later.
Instead, he walked up to her desk as she watched him, like a lamb might watch a wolf.
He pulled from his pocket the ultrasound picture that he carried with him everywhere.
It had replaced Leo’s DNA test as the most life-changing piece of paper he’d ever received.
A fresh reminder of what had brought Lily and him together. Of a future he craved.
‘I wanted to thank you for sending me this.’ He placed the ultrasound on the desk between them, a representation of one of the things he was fighting for today. ‘Are you well, Lily?’
She looked up at him, her face pale, dark rings under her eyes not entirely hidden by make-up. He regretted the loss of her blush-pink cheeks. She looked tired, and there was little doubt he’d done this to her.
‘I’m as well as can be expected in the circumstances,’ she said.
His heart rate jumped as if he’d been shocked by electricity.
Was there something wrong with the pregnancy he hadn’t been told about?
But looking down at her, he suspected she wasn’t talking about her physical health, or the health of the baby.
She was talking about what had happened between them—how, when she’d asked to be loved, he’d told her it was impossible.
How he hadn’t been honest with her when he’d said that. He’d been every bit the coward she’d accused him of being.
When he’d first met her, the word muse popped unbidden into his consciousness.
And that may have been true. She inspired him.
He wanted to create for her and because of her.
But it was more than that. He realised now that deep down he’d recognised a missing piece, another part of himself.
Someone who, despite the pain and heartbreak of a broken relationship, had still opened her heart and allowed him inside.
It took immense courage to stay open and believe in the goodness of people in the face of past experience.
Whereas past experience had led him to believe that love would make him weak. Vulnerable. That had been the lie he’d told himself when in truth, Lily’s love and acceptance had given him strength.
‘You came a long way to just ask me how I am. When are you going back to Italy?’
‘So keen to get rid of me?’
She winced. A look of pain flashed over her face and was gone. She deserved so much more than he had given her. He’d hand her the world on a platter if he could. He only hoped Lily would accept his heart instead.
‘I’m not going anywhere. Not right now. Not until after our child is born.’ Perhaps never, if here was where she wanted to stay.
‘What do you mean?’
It was time to make his play. To offer her what she’d asked for and hope she’d consider him. Even if she didn’t, he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d promised her his care, his support. A village. He would bring all of that to her, if she’d allow him to.
‘I’ve been advised that continuity of care is important for a pregnant woman. You need a team of professionals around you who you can trust. I’ve read that it improves outcomes, so that’s why I’ve purchased an apartment and moved to London.’
Lily gripped onto the cold white marble of her desk. She’d heard the words but could hardly comprehend what he meant. He’d moved here?
She stood, unable to sit still any longer.
As she did, his gaze dropped to her belly.
It was still a small bump, but she was definitely growing.
The midwife estimated that the baby was in the ninetieth percentile for size and asked about the height of the father.
All that question had brought back was how, for a time, she’d felt safe and secure with Rocco.
His solidity and his strength. Till he’d taken it all away from her, leaving her alone.
‘I don’t understand.’ It was as if she was missing some vital piece from this puzzle that had him here, in a wet overcoat on a miserable London day, telling her he was now living here. ‘Your business is in Italy.’
He frowned as if he likewise couldn’t understand what she was talking about. ‘And yet you’re here in London and your welfare is all that’s important to me.’
She shook her head. Droplets of water sparkled under the lights on Rocco’s shoulders, the bottom of his overcoat dark and wet.
Even sodden and what some might describe as bedraggled, he was still the most compelling man she’d ever met, and likely ever would.
‘No, I’m really not. You made that clear and I finally listened. ’
‘I’d promised you honesty, Lily. The only problem was, it was hard to be honest with you when I wasn’t being honest with myself.
I have so many regrets over our last conversation and how I treated you.
How I didn’t value what we had. It was easy to centre everything on the baby because it allowed me to live in denial. You were right. I was afraid.’
He walked towards her slowly, as if not wanting to frighten her away. The only thing she was scared of now was hope, because she’d tried that once and it had only led to Rocco breaking her heart.
‘I should have made it clear long ago, Lily, but I’d protected myself for so long, I didn’t realise what was happening.
You were the bright spark in a life that had become dark and cold.
You lit me up in ways I’d never imagined.
I’d closed off my heart for too many years …
but you held the key to opening it again.
If only I’d realised and listened to what my heart was telling me, rather than my head. ’
Lily’s emotions churned inside of her. Elation, and a kernel of hope that she’d been afraid of. Hope had let her down once. She wasn’t keen to invite it to visit again.
‘You hurt me.’
‘I know. And for that, I can’t forgive myself.
I’ll never forget the look on your face as you walked away.
Instead of allowing you to go I should have begged for forgiveness and gone down on my knees—’ Rocco simply sank to the marble floor in front of her, taking her hands in his ‘—and said what I’m going to now.
You and our baby are all that I’m interested in.
There was never any practicality in our relationship, Lily.
You’re the mother of my child. You’re my muse.
You’re at the centre of my whole universe, and I love you. ’
Everything froze. She didn’t know where to look or what to do, but in truth, there was only Rocco.
As she gazed at his face looking up at her she saw it.
A world of emotion offered to her. Hope, fear, honesty, openness.
But more important than all of that, he’d done what she’d asked of him.
Had the courage to love her. And that meant more to her than anything else.
Lily cupped his face in her hands. Dropped her mouth to his. The kiss a welcome, a homecoming. She poured her own love and her heart into the moment, so that he’d never forget what he meant to her too.
‘And I’ve never stopped loving you,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘That’s why it hurt so much.’
‘I’ll spend a lifetime making it up to you, tesoro.’
A lifetime had never sounded so good.
Rocco stood and reached into his pocket, pulling out a familiar burgundy box and opening it.
The engagement ring he’d bought for her on the night he’d shown her who he really was.
When she’d realised just how easy it would be to fall in love with him.
Knowing in this moment that her feelings would never change.
‘When I first saw this gem it reminded me of the dawn of a new day, of stepping into a new life. It was as perfect then as it is now. Is that what you want, Lily? A new life with me? Because I never want to spend another day apart.’
She looked up at him, his face so open, the love beaming from him like first sunlight breaking over the horizon. That same love expanding in her own chest, bright and all encompassing. She held out her hand, as he slipped the ring onto her finger before wrapping her in his tender embrace.
‘Yes, Rocco. There’s no-one I’d rather spend every new day with for the rest of my life, than you.’