Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
‘Quite something’ was one way to describe it, Alex reflected darkly as everything Olympia had told him flashed around his head like lightning. He didn’t know what he’d expected when he’d asked her to expand on her upbringing. He hadn’t given it much thought. But it had turned out to be far more complex than he could ever have envisaged. And so—he was coming to realise—was she.
The press had always made her out to be shallow and flighty and, more often than not, a contemptible waste of space. And if he was being brutally honest, that was how he’d seen her too, at least initially. But as the details of her childhood had unfolded, even the most cynical of people would have been disabused of any those assumptions, and that included him.
He was the first to admit he was no expert when it came to siblings, but he excelled in applying logic to a situation and, the more he thought about it, the more he felt that she’d simply reacted to a set of circumstances beyond her control. Her most basic emotional needs had not been met. She’d never had any support. No one had ever cared enough to recognise what was going on and address it. Her parents, her siblings, everyone had failed her, and it was therefore no wonder she’d been so troubled. No wonder her self-esteem was on the floor and she struggled to locate her value. And he now completely understood why she’d wanted to spin the story of their relationship, which meant he would probably have to reconsider the idea of the engagement party she’d proposed.
What did come as a surprise, however, was his reaction to her many and varied revelations. An intense wave of anger, frustration and offence on her behalf was sweeping through him. He wanted to shake her siblings and throttle her mother, and not because of what she’d done to him. He wanted to erase from this world every scathing article the press had ever written about her and fire the people responsible.
Most of all, though, he felt a pressing urge to fix the way she viewed herself. He wasn’t sure quite why. He wasn’t remotely altruistic and, as much as he wanted her in his bed, her efforts to turn her life around deserved his respect and he would never deliberately try to thwart them by falsely building her up.
Perhaps, then, he had in mind their child and its need for stability. His own mother had been anything but emotionally robust, and she’d become even more fragile after his father’s sudden death, which was why he’d had to step up to the plate even though he’d been a little more than a kid himself. He’d witnessed the misery self-doubt could cause and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone apart from Selene Stanhope. Their child would certainly benefit from two strong secure parents, so yes, that was most likely it.
‘I agree that crazy is one way of looking at it,’ he said, not much liking the way Olympia had paled and was biting her lip, as if she feared his verdict, which for some unfathomable reason made him want to hit something hard. ‘Through no fault of your own you didn’t have it easy, and I can understand how and why you made some unwise choices. But we’re all shaped by the past and there’s nothing any of us can do to change that.’
‘Even you?’
‘We’re not talking about me.’
‘Yet.’
‘My point is,’ he continued, vowing to keep his past private for as long as he possibly could, ‘you can reframe the way you perceive it. What you’ve been through has made you resilient and tough, a survivor. It shows you’re open to new and unconventional experiences. You’re adventurous and a risk-taker. You’re self-aware. You identified a problem and you took action. Decisively. These things are positives, not negatives, and they come from you. No one else. You.’
By the time he’d finished speaking, Olympia was looking a little shell-shocked, which wasn’t far off how he was feeling right now. Where all this was coming from he had no clue, and God knew he was no therapist, but it seemed as though he wasn’t done, because apparently he had more observations on the subject that were clamouring to be voiced.
‘When you started working for Stanhope’s,’ he said, having shuffled them into some sort of order, ‘I thought your appointment an absurd affront to the industry. I didn’t think you’d last five minutes—as you know. But I underestimated you. You’ve proved yourself to be determined and tenacious. You don’t give up. You go for what you want and don’t stop until you get it. You take no prisoners. I’ve witnessed that myself on a number of occasions. Even though I disapprove of you trying to steal my number one client, and I wasn’t at all happy about being seduced in a stairwell or by the pool, I can’t deny you’re impressive. You have charm and charisma in abundance. The way you’re turning your failures into success is admirable. You should give yourself more credit, Olympia, and believe in your abilities. Because they’re not insignificant. They’re not insignificant at all.’
Now he really was done, which was just as well, because if his heart beat any harder it would be in danger of cracking a rib. And if her eyes widened any further they’d likely pop out of her head.
‘Do you really think all that?’ she said breathlessly, clearly stunned.
‘I do,’ he replied, because in the end it hadn’t been hard to identify her strengths, of which, he’d come to realise as she’d shared the details of her upbringing, there were many. He hadn’t had to embellish or invent a thing. He did genuinely believe that she was in possession of every trait he’d described. Objectively, it was nothing less than the truth.
‘I don’t know what to say.’
No, well, in all honesty, he was just as confused as she was. Not by her this time, which made a change, but by himself, because there was nothing objective about the tightness of his chest and the fire powering through his veins. Or about the other adjectives rattling around his head that described her—magnificent, unique, fascinating. He didn’t understand what he was doing or what he was feeling, so the rumble his stomach suddenly gave could not have come at a better time.
‘Are you hungry?’ he asked as, with some relief, he switched his focus from the insanely complicated to the very simple. ‘I am. We should eat.’
* * *
Olympia followed Alex into the kitchen in something of a daze. He shrugged off his jacket, hunting down some equipment and ingredients while she struggled to make sense of everything he’d said. Her offer to help with the slicing and dicing of the salad vegetables was declined, which on reflection was a good thing. She’d never chopped a tomato in her life and now, with the way her hands seemed to be trembling, was probably not the time to start.
She didn’t much follow the conversation over supper. She answered his questions about Daphne’s illness automatically, and elaborated on some of the other things she’d got up to as an out-of-control adolescent, but she was so distracted by his alternative view of her character that she hadn’t been able to give him or the conversation her full concentration.
She ate the chicken souvlaki and salad without really tasting it. The elderflower pressé she drank slipped down largely unnoticed. She was fleetingly diverted by the flickering candles that cast dancing shadows across the handsome planes of his face, but within moments she was back in her thoughts, trying to get her head around the value he saw in her.
The process was not an easy one. Worthlessness had been entrenched in her for so long that denial was her default setting. It had never occurred to her to find anything constructive in the chaos that had been her life. She’d only ever focused on the destructive, which had been so impactful, and which for the last decade the headlines had reinforced at every available opportunity.
But now she was being forced to give it some thought, to fight through the denial and try to consider herself in the light that Alex had shone on her. Was she really everything he’d described? Well, yes, perhaps she was. She was determined and tough. Persistent and focused. She only had to look at the last year or so to see that. But even before then she’d thrown herself into every decision she’d made. They might not necessarily have been wise ones, but she’d always had a plan and gone with it. She’d always given everything one hundred per cent. And, as he’d pointed out, she was trying her best to put her failures behind her and seek success.
So maybe he wasn’t the only one to underestimate her, she thought, as all the revelations he’d unearthed began pinging around her head and zapping the nuggets of self-doubt that plagued her. She’d underestimated herself, and not just on an emotional level. Because she was a dropout who didn’t have a clutch of academic qualifications she’d always thought of herself as somehow lesser than her siblings. Deep down she’d considered herself a loser. But that wasn’t necessarily the case. The lack of a certificate or two didn’t mean anything. She might not have passed any exams but perhaps the charm and charisma he’d identified made up for that deficiency. A piece of paper certainly wouldn’t have helped smash the targets Zander had set.
She had to start believing that her worth lay in herself, in her work and in her plans for the future. She got a thrill out of her brother telling her she’d done well. When she signed another new client, the high she felt was because of something she’d achieved. She was stronger and more confident than she’d imagined. Whatever her motives for seeking a good time, she was fun to be around and a loyal friend. And in the last few days, she’d been called impressive—twice.
It had all been there, she thought a little giddily as a wave of acceptance swept away the last vestiges of denial, and she was filled with a strange sense of calm. She’d just needed a nudge in the right direction to realise it, and Alex—clever man that he was—had given her that nudge. For the first time in her life, she could allow herself to take pride in what she was good at rather than wallow in shame over what she wasn’t. She could believe that she didn’t have to be defined by the past, and that she did have something to offer the world.
And it was all because of him, she thought, her heart rate picking up as she watched him from across the table. He’d been unexpectedly fierce in his defence of her. He’d seen things in her that no one else ever had. To have someone on her side, in her corner, was such an overwhelming concept that she could barely breathe with the force of it. If he protected and looked out for their child in the same steadfast way, it would never have to question its self-worth. It would never make bad decisions and wind up dancing in fountains. It truly would be blessed.
And so perhaps she should start looking for the positives in her relationship with Alex too. Now they were talking, this marriage had a real chance of success. Now she could accept herself as he saw her, there was no reason to hold back. Nothing was stopping her from taking what she wanted, and right now, with hot heady desire suddenly crashing through her, she wanted him.
* * *
Alex was fighting a number of internal battles when he noticed a shift in the air that prickled his senses and sent a rash of goosebumps skittering across his skin.
First, there was his suggestion that Olympia reframe her perception of the past, which had somehow lodged in his head and which, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake off. He didn’t know where that insight had originated but it had unhelpfully occurred to him since that he could equally apply it to himself. Which made no sense, because his situation was entirely different. His past hadn’t had nearly such an impact on him. Up until his father and her mother had had their affair, his life had been uneventful. He’d lacked for nothing either materially or emotionally. He hadn’t had to go off the rails to get attention or push at non-existent boundaries. As an only child he’d been doted on.
And yes, things had irrevocably changed once his family had fallen apart, the comfort that he’d taken for granted evaporating virtually overnight. But while he could easily have descended into a boiling pit of anger and resentment, he hadn’t. Instead, he’d channelled how he’d felt into restoring the family’s fortunes, and once he’d achieved that he’d devoted himself to chasing the success that would make him invincible. He was more than happy with the way that had turned out, so he couldn’t for the life of him work out why he was suddenly dwelling on it.
Then there was the desire that burned as brightly as ever. Olympia looked impossibly sexy in her white strapless dress with her dark shining hair tumbling around her shoulders. As supper progressed, increasingly all he’d wanted to do was realise the dreams that had tormented him these past two nights, even though such a course of action was obviously out of the question.
He’d eaten the chicken that had tasted of nothing with gloomy despondency. How long it would take for her to see what he saw? Presumably, that sort of thing took months of contemplation. If he sourced the very best therapists the world had to offer, might that speed the process up? And what if she never reached the point at which she could bring herself to sleep with him? How would he bear it?
But now, suddenly, the night seemed to be crackling with electricity, as if a storm had enveloped them, and when he glanced up to find her gaze on him—intense, hot, shimmering—every cell of his body stilled. A surge of adrenaline dried his mouth and kickstarted his pulse.
What was going on?
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ he asked, his voice thick and strained, even to his own ears.
‘Like what?’
‘As if you’re thinking about kissing me.’
Her gaze dropped to his mouth and darkened and the world seemed to glide to a halt. ‘Because I am,’ she said with a huskiness that tightened his stomach and sent all his blood straight to his groin. ‘And it’s not just kissing you that’s running through my mind.’
‘Oh?’
‘I want to finish what I started by the pool.’
Images from that afternoon flashed through his mind. How good she’d felt. How crazed he’d been. Instinct urged him to leap to his feet, grab her by the hand and haul her up the stairs, but his head was yelling no! Despite their earlier conversation, he still had little understanding of how she operated. This could be another attempt to manipulate him. Or it might give rise to another about turn when her insecurities took over.
‘What’s brought this on?’ he asked, doing his best to suppress the urgent response of his body because he didn’t think he could face another cold shower. ‘I thought you were embracing celibacy.’
She shook her head. ‘Not any more. And it’s you who’s brought this on. With all those things you said about me. Your reframing of the past worked. You’ve made me recognise the value I have and realise what I’m capable of.’
He swallowed hard. ‘That was quick.’
‘I know. But it was all there. I just needed a push in the right direction, which you gave me. If fund management doesn’t work out you could make a fortune as a therapist. Mine never even suggested it. I’m very grateful. I’d like to show you exactly how much.’
‘Is that right?’
‘It couldn’t be more right. I know I have many faults, and I know the incident by the pool may suggest otherwise, but prick teasing has never been my thing.’ She tilted her head and gave him a smile that, for some reason, struck him square in the chest. ‘There’s no reason sex can’t be just sex, right?’
Well, yes. That was what he’d always believed and a policy he’d always followed. But this would not be the short-term affair he usually favoured. This would be something that would likely tangle him up for years, with an outcome that was anything but clear.
On the other hand, it was entirely possible he was overthinking things. He could understand how her many insecurities might lead to a need for control that he’d misread as deliberate manipulation. The real her might well be transparent and honest. Why shouldn’t he trust that it was? And who was he to question her decision anyway? Hadn’t he just pointed out her capabilities in that area?
He wanted her with a desperation that was turning him inside out and he could see no reason to deny it. Once the chemistry was addressed the tension between them would vanish. The insatiable lust he had for her would lessen. And what better way to distract her whenever she asked him a question he’d rather not have to answer? The benefits of taking her up on her offer would be many indeed.
‘You see,’ he said, sitting back, watching her closely as his blood thickened and his body hardened even more. ‘Determined and tenacious. You go for what you want.’
‘I want you.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Then come and get me.’
Olympia regarded him for one heart-stopping moment and then, without taking her eyes off his, rose from her chair in a move that could only be described as sinuous. His pulse thudded heavily as she lifted the hem of her dress and slipped off her underwear. Then she sidled over to him and pushed his legs apart. She dropped to her knees and his temperature rocketed. She unbuckled his belt and tugged down his zip to free him, and when she leaned forward to take him first in her hand and then in her mouth, he nearly passed out with pleasure.
Shuddering, unable to hold back a rough groan, he tangled his hands in her hair and closed his eyes, thinking that if this was the way she showed her gratitude he’d make more of an effort in future to deserve it.
The ministrations of her soft hands and warm wet mouth were sending molten currents through his body, into his head and destroying his brain cells. Tension gripped his muscles, tightening them to the point of pain, and he could feel the need for release swelling fast and hard—but it was too soon. He wanted to demolish her control, as she did his. One part of him, a part he didn’t wish to analyse too closely, wanted to make her pay for the torment she’d put him through these past few days.
‘Enough,’ he grated before he reached the point of no return.
Ignoring her faint mewl of protest, he pulled her up and settled her on his lap. He clamped his hands to her hips, shifting her so that the straining length of his erection pressed against the softness of her centre. Winding her arms around his neck, she lowered her mouth to his and kissed him with such heat that the blood in his veins turned to fire. It spread through his body like a fever, incinerating his bones and draining the strength from his limbs. When they came up for air her breathing was as ragged as his.
‘You have no idea how hard it’s been resisting you,’ he muttered hoarsely as she lifted her hips urgently and he moved one hand between them. ‘I thought it would simply be a question of mind over matter. I was wrong. You’ve been killing me. Another reason I had to leave.’
‘I’m glad you’re back.’
‘So am I.’
She gave a soft moan when he slipped his fingers inside her, trembling in his arms. She writhed against him, panting a little, and their mouths met again, but within seconds there seemed to be an urgency in her that matched the growing desperation in him. Then she moved, he moved and, a moment later, she was sinking onto him, taking him as deep as she could, and everything but her disappeared.
His senses reeled. Her skin was as soft and smooth as satin. Her scent was in his head and her hair felt like silk. Her eyes were dark and wild and locked to his with such heat that surely he was about to combust. She arched her back and breathed ‘Unzip me’ and he had no issue with that when it meant he could take her nipple in his mouth and tease it until she was begging him for release.
But he was in no mind to grant her wish, so he held her in place and focused on learning the shape and taste of her, every muscle he possessed coiling tighter every time she sighed or gasped or twitched.
Her breathing was shallow and choppy. Her head fell back. He moved his hand down her body, letting it linger for a moment where their baby grew, and then lower, to where they were joined—and with a cry she shattered so powerfully that it triggered his own roaring release. She clung onto him and shook and he hauled her close, pulsating into her hard and deep in a blaze of ecstasy that left him limp and dazed.
When the heat faded and the world swam back into focus, he tipped her off his lap and set her on her feet. Somehow he found the strength to get up himself.
‘Follow me,’ he muttered, grabbing her hand for support, although whether he was providing it or taking it he wasn’t sure.
‘Where are we going?’
‘I seem to recall you wanting to find out what we could do in a bed.’