CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER EIGHT
Javier looked at Caitlin , who was moving around the bedroom in search of clothing that had been scattered earlier en route from door to bed. It was a matter of a few paces but after an excellent meal, that had gone on for way too long in his opinion, they had been so desperate to rip each other’s clothes off that there were items of clothing everywhere.
Worth the haste, though, he mused now with intense satisfaction as he watched her hold a sock in one hand and her bra in the other. He’d propped himself up on one elbow, all the better to appreciate the swing of her heavy breasts as she padded naked across the room. Her hair was dishevelled and he clocked the sway of her peach bottom… Incredibly, he could feel himself hardening again.
They’d prolonged their stay. That first night had been amazing, explosive, revelatory and, more to the point, not enough for either of them.
She’d lain in his arms and he’d stroked her hair and been tickled pink as she waxed lyrical about how fantastic the experience had been.
They explored the city to within an inch of its life. She’d barely travelled, and he enjoyed showing her around the famous museums, strolling through the old town, with its charming streets and colourful buildings, and pausing for lunch on the promenade surrounded by tourists with the warm sun pouring down on them like honey, making them lazy and hot for one another.
For Javier, life was on hold, and he was enjoying it. Why not? Problems lay round the corner and there would be time enough to deal with them when this madness was over: Isabella; her situation; the company that would need at least some steering whether he was her husband or not; and of course the timeline for his own marriage, which wasn’t going to go away, because he wasn’t ready for it.
He thought of Caitlin—her joyous innocence, her sweetly responsive body that was always eager for his touch…
He wanted to lose himself in a holiday from reality and enjoy what he would never have again because his journey now would be with another suitable wife to replace the empty spot left by his vanishing fiancée.
Of course, he’d been astute enough to remind her that this was just time out for them, nothing serious, just fun. He’d sidelined any concerns that had sprung to mind when she had confessed that she’d been a virgin. He’d buried them under the fact that she knew him, and knew what he wanted in a woman, because he’d made it clear over the time they’d been here.
She’d met Isabella, so she would be in no doubt that the woman he eventually sought for his wife would be of a similar mould. She’d said as much, unprompted by him.
If he’d omitted the fact that there was a timeline governing finding this woman yet to appear on the scene, then that had simply been a courtesy. He fancied that she was enjoying him, and enjoying the bubble they were in, and would hardly want it burst before its time.
He fancied that he was doing her a favour, when he got right down to it. With him, she was preparing herself for the reality of life in which sex and lust didn’t necessarily lead to love and marriage. She would emerge tougher and stronger, more capable of protecting herself against men like the boyfriend who had broken her heart.
His thoughts did what they always seemed to do when he was with her—strolled off in the opposite direction. Lying back just as he was now—naked and stirring into pleasant arousal, appreciating her voluptuous curves—he would suddenly catch himself idly imagining the sort of guy she should end up with. And found the whole idea of it vaguely distasteful.
‘Is it just me or are you getting a little bored here?’
‘Here, as in the bedroom, right now? I’m…not bored, no, but I’m a little hungry.’
Javier glanced at his phone on the bedside table and realised that it was now a little past seven-thirty in the evening. They’d been in bed for a staggering amount of time. How had that happened? he wondered. He frowned and swept aside a stirring of unease.
‘Now that you mention it, so am I. It’s later than I thought.’
‘I guess we’ve been busy.’
Their eyes tangled and again he felt something stir inside him, something a little bit unwelcome, a tenderness that seemed to leave her and find a connection in him.
‘It’s time to get out of here,’ he drawled. ‘And no need to go with the bra, by the way. I like the weight of your breasts in my hands. I like being able to touch and feel your nipples harden.’
He grinned with wolfish intent and enjoyed the way she went red and was momentarily lost for words. His addled head cleared.
* * *
‘Get out and go where?’
When she looked at him, she felt that familiar surge of sexual charge, but this time it was mixed with a flare of sudden panic because she knew that she was living on borrowed time with this beautiful, wonderful guy.
One night! That was all it was meant to be. She had crept into his bedroom, nerves shredded but overcome with the sort of mad desire she’d never thought herself capable of feeling, and they had made love. She’d been scared that her lack of experience might turn him off, but it had been just the opposite. The minute he’d touched her, her body had burst into flames and now…? Now she knew that he held her in his hands like a puppet master. The crush had turned into something fierce and raw, and it was more than physical. He’d captured every bit of her, from her body to her soul. She’d fallen for him, and she wondered whether she hadn’t fallen for him a long while back, because he was just so much more than the sum of all his parts. Barriers had been broken down and, in this wonderful bubble, he had become her world. It didn’t matter that he had warned her off wanting more than he was prepared to give.
As she glanced over her shoulder, she could see that what she’d felt for Andy had been a pale shadow of what she felt for Javier. But, then again, working for him, alongside him, getting to know him in a million different, little ways… Her heart had been lost a long time ago and she hadn’t even realised it.
Of course, she couldn’t carry on working for him when they returned to London, so this time here was precious. The longer they extended their stay, the happier she was. She would deal with the chaos of her emotions when it ended and she walked away from him for good.
It was a struggle to meet his intense, dark gaze without giving away her thoughts. She didn’t dare raise the topic of returning to London. If he raised it, then fine, but she wasn’t going to pre-empt anything.
She found that she was holding her breath and, at risk of going blue in the face, she hissed it out slowly.
‘No need to look so worried, but I think it’s time to move on.’
‘Oh, really?’ Her heart sank but she kept her cool and maintained his stare.
‘We’ve done the cafés and the jazz club and the museums, and exclaimed sufficiently at the ocean and the scenery.’
Caitlin maintained a mute silence whilst surreptitiously gathering her clothes from the ground and trying to shield her nakedness. Naked and serious, life-altering conversation didn’t seem to go hand in hand.
‘Change beckons,’ Javier drawled, flinging the covers aside and treating her to the magnificent sight of his bronzed, muscle-packed body.
‘So it does,’ she said faintly.
‘And I know that there’s frankly a ton of work waiting to be done, amongst other duties too many to mention.’ He strolled towards her, relieved her of the bra, held it up while maintaining eye contact and grinned. ‘Tut, tut. What have I said about not liking you wearing a bra?’
‘And back in the day, when dinosaurs ruled the world, that sort of macho talk might have meant something…’ Her voice was more tart than she’d intended.
‘Don’t tell me you don’t love it when I do this…’
Caitlin breathed in sharply and shuddered as he reached to cup her breasts and then roll his thumb over her stiffened nipple. She flung back her head, felt wetness begin to spread between her thighs, and her arms went limp. She could feel his hot satisfaction as he stroked her nipple between his fingers, while with his other hand he reached down to cup her wetness.
He slid fingers into her and teased a devastating response. Caitlin dropped everything she’d been clutching and clutched him instead as her whole body quivered. She barely recognised the guttural moan that emerged as his rhythm got quicker and firmer over her throbbing clitoris until she could no longer contain the orgasm splintering through her.
She arched back and groaned, eyes squeezed tightly shut, and the high colour of sexual gratification scorched her cheeks.
He caught her as she subsided like a rag doll against him, their naked bodies pressed hard against one another. She felt his hardness against her and reached down to circle it. It was his turn this time.
He’d taught her well. When she glanced down, forehead pressed against his chest, she thrilled at the sight of his impressive brown member and the slightness of her pale fingers circling it. She could feel the pulse of his arousal and, as she worked her own magic, she never took her eyes off him as, like her, he came to a shuddering orgasm.
‘I think we’re both due a bath,’ he rasped into her hair, and she looked up at him and blinked, already careering into the conversation they’d left behind when touching had become more urgent than talking.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ he asked with a frown.
‘Like what?’
‘Like you’re worried about something.’
‘I always get worried when I’m hungry.’ Caitlin glanced down to escape the penetrating intensity of his gaze. ‘One day I’ll get to grips with a rigid diet, and then I’ll be able to laugh in the face of semi-starvation.’ She was keeping it light but her heart was pounding like a sledgehammer as he drew back from her, held her at arm’s length and just looked until she reluctantly returned the stare.
‘Promise me you’ll never do that,’ he said seriously.
‘Do what?’ Her voice was bewildered.
‘Go on any diet, rigid or otherwise. You’re beautiful just the way you are.’
‘If you say so.’
‘I do. I love making love to you, feeling your body under my hands, your curves… I think I’ve already proved that. In fact, I’d say that particular record is on permanent repeat.’
Caitlin thought that ‘permanent’ was an adjective that couldn’t be further from the truth. ‘Permanent’ was the one thing he’d reminded her more than once that he would never do.
She turned, breaking the connection, and walked towards the en suite, aware of him padding softly behind her.
‘I’d go for the bath option,’ he said with lazy amusement, reaching to turn on the waterfall shower which, in its vast wet-room space, was easily big enough for both of them and then some. ‘But I think we both need to eat. I can hear my own stomach protesting from lack of food.’
They showered together. It wasn’t the first time. But this time her head was cluttered as she tried to make sense of what was going on.
Was he going to try and persuade her to carry on what they had when they returned to London? She would, naturally, decline the kind offer if that turned out to be the case but no way would she hint about the resignation she was determined to hand in. Or maybe he was going to call it a day. That being the case, he was very upbeat, but then again he wasn’t emotionally involved. She was just someone else who’d come along in the void left by Isabella.
Tension made her stomach tighten as she flung on some clothes. She’d bought some stuff in a couple of the little independent shops. Javier had tried to urge her into some of the more expensive boutiques, but she had laughed and turned down the offer.
‘Where will we go for something to eat?’ She broke the silence as they headed out.
‘Somewhere small and quiet so that we can talk.’
‘We do need to do that,’ Caitlin said tensely while her heart continued to beat a frantic tempo and her brain scrambled over possible scenarios, none of which had a happy ending. ‘There’s a ton of work stuff piling up, as you said. I’ve actually tried to clear some emails over the past couple of days.’
‘As have I. We can get to the work chat later. Right now, let’s try and find somewhere to eat.’
‘You…mentioned that it was time to move on,’ she forced herself to say as they stepped into another balmy evening and walked out towards the bustling shops and cafés.
‘I did. Like I said, I think it’s time to move on from Nice, and I have a proposition.’
‘No.’
‘Come again?’
Caitlin was warming up to what was coming. She carried on walking briskly but then slowed up when he tugged her to his side, pulling her to a stop.
‘Let’s find somewhere to sit so that we can have this conversation,’ he said quietly.
The minute he’d uttered those words about having a proposition, she’d known where he was going. She’d worked alongside him long enough to be wise to his dating habits. He enjoyed women, and treated them like queens just until his interest started to wane, at which point they were politely but firmly ushered out. Isabella might be no more, but Caitlin would stake her life’s savings on her boss returning to his previous lifestyle.
Was she going to be like all those other women? No. Her heart just wouldn’t be able to stand it. She lacked their experience, and the line between fun and misery would be an easy one to cross. She intended to have her say before he could use any persuasive tactics on her. She was weak around him, but being weak wasn’t going to do. She had to assert authority over the situation or risk even greater heartbreak by being persuaded into ditching the resignation and continuing an affair with the guy she worked for.
How easy it would be, working by day with the slow build of excitement racing in her veins as she anticipated a night with him…the accidental brush of his hand on her arm…dark eyes lingering just a little too long. It would be clandestine, thrilling, decadent…
And way too dangerous for someone whose dream had always been to be safe in a relationship.
She had no regrets about making the choice she had made. How could she? But she couldn’t afford to layer it up with complications she would find impossible to deal with.
* * *
‘So…’ Javier mused, just as soon as they’d found a suitable restaurant, having strolled there in silence. ‘You’re suddenly very serious, querida . You haven’t heard what I’m going to say and you’ve decided that you want no part of it?’
‘I know what you’re going to say.’
‘Really? I’m shocked. I had no idea you were gifted in the art of mind-reading.’
‘Work calls,’ Caitlin said wryly. ‘And it’s time for us to return to London. In all the time I’ve worked for you, I’ve never known you to take spontaneous time off, so I’m guessing you’ve got itchy feet. How am I doing so far?’
‘I’m curious to hear where the story is going.’
Caitlin’s heart fluttered. Why did he have to be so stupidly gorgeous, so incredibly clever, witty and perceptive? So unavailable ?
‘You and Isabella are no longer together…’
‘Ten out of ten for observational accuracy.’ He grinned, raised his eyebrows and slid a glance at her. ‘What comes next?’
‘And we’ve had a good time here. Unexpected—not a good idea, but…’
‘Agree on all counts.’
‘I won’t continue this situation once we return to London. It would be untenable.’
There, she’d said it. She thought about walking out of his life for good and gritted her teeth. Tough situations demanded tough choices. Would he miss her—the person he’d grown to know aside from the employee without the back story? ‘You’re not the kind of guy I’m looking for as a partner and, whilst this is fun, it’s really opened my eyes to the importance of getting on with my life.’
‘Getting on with your life?’
‘Finding the guy who’s right for me. You were my adventure, and it was good that I…that we… It wasn’t a mistake, put it that way.’
‘That’s very gratifying, and should I be flattered that you considered me a stepping stone in your ambition to find yourself Mr Right, or offended? Or insulted even?’
Caitlin reddened. Was he teasing her? Was he less bullet-proof than she’d always thought?
‘I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry.’
‘I’m kidding, Caitlin. Of course you haven’t hurt me, so don’t worry about that. I’m thicker skinned than you think. No, I get what you’re saying one hundred percent.’ He leant forward, elbows on the table, and steepled his fingers. ‘We’ve already established that when it comes to longevity you’re no more my type than I am yours. You want all sort of things a man like me could never provide, aside from which…’
‘Aside from which…?’
* * *
Javier hesitated. He’d already told her enough about himself—too much. Why launch into his need to get hold of vineyards, what he had to do to get them to fulfil his dream of owning a slice of his past tied up in memories of joy and happiness? Why repeat what she already knew? That the lessons from his past could never be undone. That he would tie the knot with someone who understood his limitations.
‘You had a rough time growing up, and I can understand why you’ve invested so much in finding love with the right guy, and that’s fine. If I’m your adventure on the way to getting there, then that’s also fine.’
* * *
‘Will you…?’ Caitlin hesitated but what did she have to lose? They’d already crossed a million lines, and besides, she would be handing in her resignation as soon as she got to London so there would be no repercussions from anything she might decide to ask him now. No awkward moments.
‘Will I what?’
‘Will you still have a business-like marriage, with some other suitable candidate?’
‘Yes.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
‘I know myself and I know what I want and what I need.’
He’d said that before and yet she still felt a stab of pain because she was forced to accept what her heart didn’t want: his casualness; his affection that was only skin-deep; the fact that she was disposable, however much he liked her, and however many laughs and confidences they shared.
‘What I meant—’ she smiled stiffly ‘—is whether you think you’re destined to marry someone else who has a company you would like to merge with yours.’
‘No immediate candidates spring to mind. Why are we talking about this?’
‘I don’t know how we got there. I suppose I’m curious.’
‘Well, if it satisfies your curiosity…’ He dropped his voice, topping up both glasses with wine and leaning towards her in a way that was confidential and intimate, making her skin tingle. ‘I’m not completely ruthless when it comes to choosing a woman I’d want to spend my life with.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means I would never marry any woman because of her financial holdings.’ He grinned. ‘I have plenty of my own. Isabella and I had something that went beyond that. We had family loyalties and tangled duties and a shared history, along with the weight of familial expectations, not to mention a list of other reasons all vying for airtime.’
‘So then what on earth would you be looking for?’
‘Let’s stay in the present,’ he drawled. ‘This is a dead-end topic.’
‘It’s only dead-end because you don’t want to talk about it.’
‘It’s dead-end because it’s not relevant to what I want to say.’ He sighed, impatient and indulgent at the same time. ‘ Querida , you know the sort of woman I’ll end up with. Someone who doesn’t need of huge amounts of attention. Someone who will be able to ease comfortably into a lifestyle of making sure everything is running efficiently on the home front, and also being able to effortlessly deal with the socialising that will come with the terrain.
‘It would also help, I suppose, if she came from a similar background to mine. Spanish high society is slightly different than its equivalent here, and as and when I take over my father’s business interests I expect I’ll end up splitting my time between London and Madrid. There won’t be much time for on-the-job training.’
‘Perhaps you might need a training manual of sorts for whoever gets the job,’ Caitlin said. ‘I could get one put together for you.’
How could he say all this stuff, utter sentiments that couldn’t be further from what she expected out of life, and yet capture her heart and soul without even trying? Eager to get away from this diversion, she dug into the prawn salad, made suitable noises about it being delicious and then reconfirmed what she had earlier said about having no intention of continuing what they had just because they still happened to be attracted to one another.
‘This…all of this…’ She drank some of the wine and looked at him evenly. ‘Is wonderful.’
‘Got it—your personal adventure before you find the real thing. No need to labour the point… And yes, it’s been good, I won’t deny that.’
‘Well, that’s sorted, then. We agree.’
Javier looked at her steadily. ‘I agree,’ he told her flatly. ‘About London. When we return, it would be difficult for us to return to the right balance if this continued—too many blurred lines. Which is why I’m not proposing that we do any such thing.’
‘You’re not?’
‘I’m not.’ He smiled slowly and sat back, pushing his plate to one side and looking at her for a few seconds in contented silence. ‘What I’m proposing is this: we leave here and head somewhere else. This was a work destination, after all, and the work’s been concluded. We’ve had fun here, but I want us to go where we won’t be interrupted. Somewhere where we can make love whenever we like and get this thing we have between us out of our systems before real life beckons.’
He made it sound so simple. As if what they had between them was no bigger than a passing infection, easily killed off with some antibiotics, never to resurface again. They couldn’t have been more on different pages.
‘What are you suggesting?’ she asked carefully.
‘Maybe a week or two on my yacht.’
Whilst Caitlin knew everything there was to know about the company holdings, she knew next to nothing about his own private possessions. Yes, he owned several priceless paintings. She had once had to renew the eye-watering insurance on them, because his private fund manager had been in hospital, but for the rest she had not a clue, really.
‘Your yacht…’
‘Which is conveniently moored at the moment off Monaco. We could do some perfunctory sightseeing there and then decamp to the yacht which, let me assure you, is far from ostentatious. You could say it’s in the same league as a handy run-around car when you don’t want to bring out the Bentley.’
‘I doubt it’s the equivalent of my run-around car.’
Caitlin was already thinking ahead to a few more snatched moments with Javier. She gazed off into the distance and rapidly worked out pros and cons. It was all pros and no cons, as far as she was concerned. She’d committed to this wonderful bubble for as long as it continued. She’d accepted that she would resign once the bubble had burst because there was no way she could continue working for a guy she was madly in love with, watching while he picked up where he’d left off with other women; arranging dates for him to fancy places with his trademark catwalk-model girlfriends. Until such time as the perfect accessory came along, suitable for marriage and living the life expected of Spanish aristocracy.
But in the meantime she was on this adventure. She would pick up the pieces later and she knew that, when she did, she would be all the more determined that safety was what she wanted, but at least she would have got the heady adventure out of the way. She was only doing what most girls did! She’d just taken her time getting there and had had to jump one enormous hurdle along the way.
‘You’re looking thoughtful.’
Caitlin blinked and focused on Javier, who was staring at her with an expression she couldn’t quite read.
* * *
Capturing her thoughtful blue gaze and holding it in brooding silence, Javier realised that he was in the grip of something seldom experienced: uncertainty.
Why was she looking thoughtful? Why hadn’t she jumped at his offer? What was there to think about? They still wanted one another, neither of them was in this for the long haul and they had to let it run its course or risk it interfering with their working relationship when they returned to it.
And, from a more personal perspective, Javier could see that once they returned to London his hunt for a wife would become serious business. This was his window, probably his last window, of carefree sexual pleasure.
And, more than that, this was… He frowned and didn’t follow that thought. Instead he focused on her thoughtful expression. Neither of them wanted complications and that was the main thing. So where was the problem?
It was an effort to sit in silence and wait for her to say something. Always in control of events, Javier was unsettled at the way he now felt out of his depth and controlled by something over which he had no say. He had a moment of wondering whether this was the right thing. It made sense on paper. He still wanted her so badly it was overwhelming, and yet…
He had this weird feeling of not being in control… Should he be wary of it? Had he somehow become vulnerable because his deadline was now set in stone? Vulnerable to the need to snatch fun while he still had the chance?
‘Well?’ he finally prompted in a voice that was a lot heartier than he was actually feeling.
‘I think it’s a good idea.’
Javier hadn’t realised that he’d been stressed out waiting for her to respond until she actually responded, and then he half-smiled with relief and satisfaction.
‘I’ll have to sort stuff out with Benji.’
‘If it’s a problem, you can bring him over,’ Javier said magnanimously.
‘ Bring him over? I didn’t think you were that fond of dogs.’
‘You’ll miss him, and I have no problem with arranging transport for him.’
‘A yacht might be a little much. I’m not sure how good a swimmer he is. Plus, there are loads of formalities involved when it comes to getting a dog from the UK into Europe.’
‘You hardly have to worry about such things with me.’ He clicked his finger and shot her a smile of utter satisfaction. He was the magician pulling rabbits out of the hat and impressing his audience. ‘Put it this way, I wouldn’t want you to spare a thought for shortening our time together because you’re missing the dog. He’s old and, trust me, there’s sufficient room for him to stretch his legs, and we’ll disembark on a regular basis. He can come with us and explore the wonders of the second-smallest country in the world.’
* * *
Their eyes tangled and Caitlin lowered her eyes as a thought flashed through her head.
Surely this was more than just sex for him? The fact that he was prepared to dump work, enjoy what they had and, furthermore, do what it took to make her day complete by getting Benji over—wasn’t that above and beyond? He might laugh off what they had as just something physical that he had to get out of his system…but maybe he didn’t see that there might just be something more lurking just beneath the surface.
‘Okay.’ She smiled and was flooded with warmth. ‘I would love to see Monaco, and I’m pretty sure Benji would as well…’