Chapter Nine #2
After Sophia, clingy, needy women who wanted more from him than he could ever give were off-limits.
He’d always made that clear. In fact, he’d made it clear to Georgie from the start, if he recalled.
It was all about protecting himself and his daughter from anyone who might see him as a meal ticket or as devoted husband material, willing to change himself for the greater cause.
He scooped his hand in her hair and angled her so that they were looking directly into one another’s eyes.
‘I don’t want this to end.’
Georgie, ensnared by his dark gaze, felt her heart leap inside her as hope kicked in and with it all those expectations she had kept at bay. Love, marriage, babies, the dog…a retriever, maybe…?
‘What do you mean?’ She cleared her throat. Inside the flames of hope licked higher and higher.
‘There’s no reason for us to end this just yet.
Hear me out. On more than one level, it makes perfect sense.
You and I are supposed to be in a relationship.
When this first kicked off, I remember telling you to keep your distance from Flora but that hasn’t happened.
If you disappear, she’ll be upset and understandably so.
So were you to stick around for a few more weeks… then what we have could taper off…’
‘Taper off…’ Georgie repeated in a daze.
‘In a natural, organic way. The way two people come together, think it’s the real thing, only to discover that they don’t have quite as much in common as they originally thought.’
‘Yes, I see…yes, those relationships…the ones that never last, hope that fades, dreams that come unstuck…’ Tears clogged somewhere deep inside, in her soul.
‘Yes. Just so! That way your departure will be a gradual process that Flora won’t find too upsetting. Wouldn’t you agree?’
‘She might be shaken if I were to vanish all of a sudden is what you’re saying.’ Holding hands one minute, Georgie thought, and then going in separate directions the next minute, with just a backward glance at something that had never, ever stood a chance.
How could she have been so stupid?
‘Exactly what I’m saying. I’m glad we’re both on the same page. Excellent!’
‘What’s the other level?’ She cleared her throat in an attempt to clear her head, to sound normal when she spoke. Everything inside her was hurting.
‘Come again?’
‘You said on more than one level it makes perfect sense. So what’s the other level it makes perfect sense on?’
‘We still want one another, Georgie. I can feel it in you every time we touch and it’s the same for me. We could both pretend that we could walk away from this in a couple of days’ time and look back as though nothing’s happened, but something as strong as what we have needs to run its course.’
‘Why? Isn’t that just stupid self-indulgence?’
Alessandro kissed the words away, a long, lazy kiss, and then, when he was about to draw back, he resumed his devastating assault on her senses.
‘You speak your mind,’ he murmured. ‘And I love that. And you make me laugh and I love that as well. Georgie, we get along. That’s why it makes so much sense for this to carry on to its natural conclusion.’
‘Because we get along? Because I’m honest and don’t pander to you like all those other women you’ve dated in the past probably did? That’s why this has to continue? Until you get bored of me and my honesty? Or I get bored of you?’
‘I enjoy you.’
‘But this isn’t all about you, Alessandro, is it?’
Georgie had heard enough. The hope that had been shooting off in all sorts of ridiculous directions when he’d opened his monologue by telling her that he didn’t want things between them to end had taken a sizeable battering.
She’d leapt to all sorts of conclusions, had misread the situation and she had only herself to blame.
She’d had another Hans moment, even though she’d spent months upon months on a learning curve that would henceforth protect her from making another mistake when it came to guys and misreading their intentions.
So much for learning curves.
That said…she wasn’t going to run away with her tail between her legs, mopping up her broken heart with her friends when she got back to the ski resort, and she wasn’t going to let him see how much she was hurting.
She was going to be in control of herself, at least with him, and if she wasn’t when she was on her own, then no one would witness her devastation.
Wasn’t that what inner strength was all about? Being dignified in the face of loss?
‘I enjoy being with you as well, if you want complete honesty. And the sex is off the chart but that’s not a reason for me to want to carry on with this situation until it fizzles out.
I have a life waiting for me after this and plans to make about returning to England.
I need to get on with that life and move on from what we have here, which was only ever going to be a blip. ’
‘A blip?’
‘Yes, Alessandro, a blip. We both know that, and you might think it’s great to carry on until you’re stuffed and feeling sick but that’s not me.
I don’t see the sense in continuing with this, behaving like a couple of kids in a sweet shop, until we both get sick of the sweets on offer.
I know Flora will be upset but that won’t last. Kids get over things quickly.
She’ll be back at school in the blink of an eye and I will become a distant memory for her, just like I’ll become a distant memory for you. ’
‘Why are you making a straightforward situation so damned complicated?’
They had pulled apart, confrontational now rather than conspiratorial.
‘I’m just being honest and it was never that straightforward, if we were both to tell the absolute truth.
It was crazy to end up in bed together but we did, and I don’t regret a minute of it, but that doesn’t mean that I want to continue until…
it just fizzles out. Look, Alessandro, we’re here for a tiny bit of time longer.
Why not enjoy it without wanting to prolong something that was never going to stay the distance anyway? ’
She’d been through the eye of the hurricane and now…now was time to get to clearer skies. The hurricane would return later…when she was on her own.
‘I never thought you were that sensible,’ Alessandro said in a driven undertone.
He had pulled back from her and stiffened as the conversation he had foreseen swerved off on an unexpected tangent.
‘What did you think I was?’
‘More spontaneous.’
‘After Hans, the next guy I invite into my life is going to be someone who is serious about a relationship.’ She paused. ‘You were right about the fun thing, though.’
‘The fun thing…’
‘I went from a broken heart to, as you said, battening down the hatches, but in between I needed to loosen up and have some fun and I have. Here. With you. Fun fun. Not serious fun.’
He’d been a bit of fun? Fun fun?
What was going on here? Wasn’t he supposed to be the one talking sense in a polite, warm way as he wrapped things up? And why did this feel so weird and painful?
‘So you’re turning down my offer to carry on with what we have…’ His voice was incredulous. ‘Is that what I’m hearing?’
‘Correct.’
‘You’ll return to the ski resort and pick up where you left off.’
‘That was the deal, wasn’t it? I could continue doing the cleaning at your house? You’re not going to renege on that, are you?’
‘No! Dammit, Georgie…now we’re talking about bloody cleaning?’
‘Good, because the more I have towards a deposit, the better. You wouldn’t believe the prices of shoeboxes in London. Crazy.’
‘I could buy you whatever you want. All you have to do is say the word, no strings attached,’ he muttered with a hint of challenge in his voice.
‘Why would you do that, Alessandro?’
Good question, was what Alessandro was thinking, suddenly bewildered at his own suggestion. Why would he?
‘I’m a generous guy,’ he said, with just a hint of defensiveness in his voice.
‘Yes, you are. I mean, I just have to look around this place to know that you live in a no-expense-spared world.’
‘I came from nothing. What’s the point having everything if you forget how to spend what you have? Well? What’s your answer?’
Georgie looked at him narrowly. ‘There’s no such thing as a gesture like that that comes with no strings attached. You might have good intentions, and one thing I’ve realised is that your intentions are good, despite my first impressions, but—’
‘But you think that if I buy you an apartment in Mayfair, I’ll be tempted to think that sleeping with me would be on the cards?’
‘Wouldn’t it?’
‘I don’t know. Georgie—’
‘I can’t, Alessandro. I just can’t. I’m not like you.
But I appreciate the offer and at least you’re honest. Actually, even if sleeping with you wasn’t on the cards, I wouldn’t accept your offer.
Something else I just couldn’t do.’ Underneath the controlled voice, Georgie could feel her heart collapsing on itself.
‘I couldn’t, Alessandro, because it would make me feel…
cheap. It would demean everything we’ve had, make me feel as though I was being paid for services rendered.
’ She forced a smile but her jaw ached from the effort.
She leant into him and curved a trembling hand on his cheek.
‘Let’s not talk about this any more. Let’s just enjoy the time we have left together. ’
Three days later Georgie was back at the ski resort. Her nerves were shredded.
But she had her memories. Making love…those last few hours at the park, laughing at Flora zooming higher and higher on a ride she’d been saving for last. Alessandro’s laughter as he scooped Flora up into the air and swung her high until she squealed.
The way he’d looked across at Georgie with an expression she couldn’t read…
They’d parted company with a kiss, a chaste, formal kiss while Flora had looked on, holding Alessandro’s hand and wearing an outfit he had bought for her the day before as a souvenir.