Chapter Twelve #2
The taxi started moving again. Whatever had been holding them up had cleared.
She’d be at Leo’s Milan home, their Milan home, soon.
There she’d fight for him, fight for them.
Simone had come to realise that while she’d spent her whole life believing she wasn’t enough, she strongly suspected Leo felt the same.
And wasn’t that the trap? Two hurt and broken people believing the one they wanted could never want them in return?
In the last few weeks she’d discovered so much more about the man Leonardo Zanetti truly was.
Especially since she’d called the company accountant and learned what she could about Rome.
Because, whilst the press liked to write about Milan, Rome was where Leo’s real story began.
The taxi finally pulled up outside his house, and she paid, her heart beating a frantic rhythm in her chest. Taking out the keys he’d given her and hoping that he hadn’t changed the locks. Trying them.
They still fit.
Just like her and Leo, if only he’d recognise it.
Simone made her way quietly through the house finding him on the back terrace.
He sat at the table, laptop open. Working on something because he consumed himself, both personally and privately.
She relished the view of him against the backdrop of their home’s beautiful garden.
His broad shoulders—the ones that had carried so many of her burdens and the burdens of others.
Those burdens that he’d kept secret because he’d thought what he was doing showed the worst of him, when really, it showed the best.
As she eased closer, it was like he knew. Leo stiffened and turned.
The moment those vibrant ocean-blue eyes fixed on Simone, twin aches of love and pain crashed over her like a wave onto the shore. Then she caught his expression-surprise and need, before it hardened and he hid behind the veneer he so often presented to the world.
Leo seemed to unfold from the chair, lifting himself up.
It was then she noticed other things. How he wasn’t as put together as normal.
Stubble on his jaw, like she’d witnessed in the days after her accident.
His hair was a little longer than she’d ever seen him with before, and messy.
Like he’d run his hands through it too many times.
His shirt, usually pressed and perfect, a bit wrinkled.
He looked like he’d just come home from some corporate battle.
Well, she was here to start an emotional war.
‘Simone.’
One word, but it was full of meaning. A rough sound, like it hurt him to say the syllables. Then he frowned.
‘What are you doing here? Have you forgotten something?’
There were so many answers open to her, but she told him the truth.
‘I left because you said you were a bad man. That you didn’t want me. I came back because I discovered—you’re a liar.’
His eyes widened.
‘You’re not a bad man. Even though you think you are. And I’m here to remind you of that.’ She took a step closer. ‘Because I know all about Rome.’
Leo hadn’t seen her in over a month and, whilst it might have been a cliché, she was like an oasis in the desert. A cool drink to a parched man.
She stood before him, looking more like herself than he’d ever seen.
In a beautiful denim dress, no sleeves. Espadrilles that made her look summery, as if she was about to go to the beach or for a stroll by a lake.
Embodied with a casual elegance he’d always known lay inside her.
It struck him then, how she’d grown without him.
Morphed, like a chrysalis turned into a vibrant butterfly.
It ached, seeing her. Knowing without a doubt that she’d moved on without him…
And yet, Rome?
‘You’ve heard the story about Rome. I told you myself.’
‘You told me the lies you tell yourself. When are you going to see the truth for what it is?’
He didn’t understand. He’d laid out the truths of his past. The things he’d done. Whilst he might pretend he was a better man now, the reality was harsh and incontrovertible. He hadn’t looked after his mother and he hadn’t looked after Simone. He was, in all ways, a selfish man.
A good man wouldn’t have entered into an arranged marriage with his executive assistant to secure a business deal, no matter the merits and knowing what he could do for the company in the partnership.
A good man would have been there for his mother.
Wouldn’t have tried to change the woman now standing before him.
She’d fallen and almost died because she was trying to please him. Just like his mother had fallen because she was trying to ensure she earned enough money for him.
He always hurt those he loved the most…
Loved? No. He loved no one. If he did, he wouldn’t have done the things he had. Yet why did it feel something inside him had torn in two and was bleeding in torrents?
‘Morzone.’
It was as if a shock of electricity jolted through him. A name from a past he wished was more distant. Or wished he’d never heard at all.
‘I don’t know what you’re—’
‘Bazzoni, Antonelli, Riccardo…’
She kept going. The list went on and on. Names of the families he’d helped extort. Families he’d tried to ruin. Each sin he was required to atone for.
‘I know about them, Leo. I know about them all.’
It should have been impossible. ‘How?’
‘Circolo’s accountant. It seems you haven’t told anyone you’d asked me to leave and since I’m still your wife and EA…’
He hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone that he’d pushed her away, most of all himself. He’d been waiting for the inevitable resignation letter when it would have been impossible to deny the rumours currently swirling round, that all wasn’t sunny in the Zanetti household.
‘All these people, they show the best of you, not the worst,’ she said.
Leo shook his head. ‘You know nothing.’
She didn’t. Repaying debts owed was meaningless. It was the least he could do. Giving back money didn’t make the taking of it any better. Because he couldn’t give them back the time they’d lost, and money didn’t heal all wounds—as he well knew.
There were some people who would never recover from what he’d done. The trauma he’d inflicted.
‘I know a lot, because I’ve spoken to some of the families. They’ve told me how their lives have been changed, even though they never knew who their benefactor was.’
His blood turned icy. He’d buried that part of his life so well by creating a charitable foundation that gave back to the families he’d once helped to ruin. His greatest shame and yet the heart of all he was. He never wanted it revisited. No one was ever meant to find out.
‘Did you tell them who I am?’
‘No. That’s your story to tell, not mine. What I asked, was whether they’d like to say anything to the person who’d helped them.’
She reached into her bag and pulled out a folder with sheaves of paper in it.
‘I have these. Letters to the charity. Thanking you for what you’ve done. How you’ve saved each of them. Changed their lives for the better. Look.’
She thrust the folder into his face. He shook his head. He didn’t want to look at the words when all he could see was her.
‘You think this is the worst of you?’ Simone asked, ‘The worst was doing nothing. This is the best. It’s not who you were once, Leo, but how a person changes that makes the difference. You rose from your earlier life like a phoenix. You became someone better.’
‘Money doesn’t change anything, it just papers over wounds.’
‘Here’s the thing. You have all these people believing you’re good. You’re the only one who thinks you’re bad. Have you ever thought that might mean the problem’s not with all of us? It’s with how you’re thinking about yourself.’
‘All I ever do is hurt people. These families. My mother. You.’
Simone cocked her head, frowned. He wanted to smooth that troubled crease away. He clenched his fists instead.
‘What do you mean, me?’
‘You fell because of me. Because of my vanity.’
‘You wanted to give me a beautiful gift of that pair of shoes and I wanted to accept them, so I did. My fall was an accident. Just like your mother’s.
Do you think either of us would want you carrying misplaced guilt for ever?
These things aren’t your burden to bear.
When I was in the hospital…’ Simone’s voice trailed off, Cracked.
She took a deep breath, gave a shaky smile.
Would his mother have wanted this for him? She’d worked hard, long hours, to make his life better. But in the end, he didn’t know, because he couldn’t ask her. As for Simone…
‘You stayed by my side in hospital,’ she said. ‘Looked after me at home. Those weren’t the actions of a bad man, but a good one.’
She walked towards him slowly, almost as if she was scared he’d try to get away.
‘I love you. Despite everything. I wasn’t looking for it. I wasn’t expecting it, but it hit me all the same. You care about your staff. You cared about me. Around you, I began to like who I was again. And I hope, that if I love you, then maybe you can love yourself.’
For so long, he’d been dead inside. Rejected by his father. A petty criminal. Believing himself selfish. Vacuous. Good only for his looks and what he could sell. Yet, it was as if an ember had burst to life inside of him, bright and blazing.
Simone, believing in him. Loving him.
Everything seemed suddenly clearer, like a blindfold being torn from his eyes and he could see for the first time.
Those moments when all he wanted to do was please her.
To make her smile. Now, Leo didn’t think about what he’d done, but how those things had made him feel.
Like a good man, a man who was worthy. A man who could make Simone happy.
‘Do you love me?’ she asked. ‘Because I think the man who showed me a waterfall on Lake Garda. Who sat by me every night when I was in hospital. Who created a beautiful room for me in his home that showed he knew who I was. The man who didn’t want me to fall again… I think that’s a man who loves.’
It was as if every part of Simone had been holding its breath and now, she’d allowed herself the briefest of moments to exhale.
He hadn’t asked her to leave. He was listening and maybe it meant he might also hear.
She stepped towards him again, reached out her hand tentatively and placed it in the middle of his chest, the muscles firm and solid underneath.
‘This is where I feel it, in my heart. Maybe, if you let go of the things your head’s telling you, you might feel something in your heart too.’
She’d almost expected him to step back but he didn’t.
Instead, he leaned into her touch. His chest rose under her hand, then he shut his eyes.
The slightest of frowns on his forehead.
She didn’t know what he was thinking. All she could do was stand there and hope, as the heat of him burned into her palm.
Then his lips parted and he let out an exhale, opened his eyes and stared at her.
The deep blue of his intense gaze burning like a pilot light, pointed in her direction.
‘I have no idea what I’m doing,’ he admitted.
She gave a shaky laugh. ‘Neither do I. All I know is how it feels. Like I’m too big for my skin. Like I want to burst from myself.’
‘The only way it’s any better, that it feels like you finally fit, is if you’re with the other person,’ he said.
‘It’s too big to hide or run away from.’
‘Because it’s all-encompassing.’ He placed his hand over hers. ‘It takes over your life. It takes over your soul.’
Simone was certain in that moment, that he understood. Her eyes stung with tears and she took a breath of relief.
‘It’s so easy not to listen, when you don’t trust yourself,’ she said.
‘This marriage was a means to an end. It should never have been that way and you deserve something more.’
‘And yet in the end, we still chose each other.’
‘Why can’t I find someone like you?’ he asked, with a smile.
‘Maybe you can,’ she replied.
‘Maybe we always knew we were meant for each other.’ Leo laughed and wrapped her in his arms. ‘I love you, cuore mio.’
My heart. Her home.
‘So, what now?’
‘Our honeymoon was rudely cut short by an accident. I’m thinking we should arrange another. Verona perhaps?’ Leo winked.
She answered with a smile. ‘Are you being a romantic, Mr Zanetti?’
‘Around you, always, Mrs Zanetti.’
‘Then how about Lake Garda? That’s a place I’d like to get to know better.’
‘Perfetto,’ he said. ‘But right now?’
Leo dropped his head and she rose to meet him.
Their mouths capturing each other’s. The kiss unlike any that had come before it because this one was full of love acknowledged, not suppressed.
After a few breathless minutes of searching lips and hands, of recognition and reconnection, Leo eased himself away, though he didn’t let her go.
His talented mouth curling into a slow and wicked smile.
‘I think we should start the honeymoon here, tesoro.’
Simone laughed as Leo swung her into his arms.
‘It’s the perfect place to begin our lives again.’