Chapter Six
ASTRID WATCHED AS Apollo’s sultry smirk froze into one of shock, his large, firm body visibly withdrawing a few inches from hers on the sofa. ‘You were…’
‘Pregnant, yes. With your child.’
He seemed frozen in time, his hands braced on his knees as though holding on for dear life. She felt as if she was diving into her revelation all at once, trying to get it all out before she completely lost her nerve under his scrutiny, so she continued.
‘Once I found out and I knew I wanted to keep the baby, I tried to track you down. I had nothing else to go by, other than your basic description that night and the scar on your groin. Nothing solid enough.’
The look on his face was frozen halfway between amusement and horror.
The silence was prolonged and painful as Astrid grabbed her shirt from the floor and hastily did up as many buttons as she could manage.
When Apollo still made no move to respond, she produced her phone from her bag, clicking a few times until she drew up a photograph, and extended the bright screen towards him.
‘He’s nearly seven…and his name is Luca. ’
Time seemed to move in slow motion as Apollo took in the boy’s smiling face, and she watched the play of emotions change from confusion and disbelief to, eventually, awe.
The picture she’d chosen was from a couple of weeks ago, on the last day of school.
The sun shone on Luca’s little face as he took off down the biggest slide in the playground where they often stopped on the walk home.
Short dark curls framed her son’s heart-shaped face and his wide toothy grin emphasised the sharp dimple in his little chin—a dimple identical to Apollo’s, she realised.
How had she not noticed the small similarities?
She’d been too busy avoiding her very confusing and improper attraction to one of her drivers that she’d missed what had been right in front of her face.
‘You’re sure?’ Apollo’s voice was deeper than usual. ‘He’s mine?’
There was no accusation in his tone or animosity; in fact he seemed unnaturally calm for a man who’d just been told he was a father. That one word, ‘mine’, sent a small trigger of alarm through her but she shook it off. She nodded. ‘He is your son.’
He remained silent for a long moment and Astrid tried not to fidget under his gaze. ‘We used a condom that night, I know. But it was dark and…it must have failed.’
‘There was no one else?’ he asked.
She shook her head, watching as his eyes darkened with some unnamed emotion before he turned away from her.
She didn’t expand on that fact; there was no need for him to know that there had been no one else since him, either.
He definitely did not need to know that embarrassing fact.
But perhaps he might have guessed at the length of her celibacy after how quickly she’d just come apart in his arms after only a few minutes of frantic touches.
She’d been so hypersensitive and lost to his touch that standing alone in the middle of the room had felt like a rush of cold water in comparison.
She waited as he silently processed her words, her body unconsciously braced for the uncertainty of his reaction.
He was a powerful man, and she was here alone with him in his cavernous home, but she was not afraid.
Whatever happened, she didn’t believe he would react to her bombshell with anger, the way her own father had.
Sure, he might deny everything she’d just said, or perhaps demand lawyers and a paternity test. Even if it came to that, she’d know she’d done the right thing.
But after a moment, Apollo’s eyes raised, pinning her in place with an almost painful intensity.
‘You realised this earlier, in Lake Como. When I was in the ice bath.’ His eyes met hers, his stunned shock gone, replaced by something darker. ‘You discovered something of this magnitude…and you immediately tried to run away from me?’
‘I didn’t plan to run away.’ She bristled. ‘I saw your scar, and that tattoo you’d mentioned you wanted, and I just…panicked.’
She blew out a breath, looking around the luxurious apartment that was so very different from her modest home. ‘I have a little boy who relies solely on me for stability; what would happen if I just went around accusing Elite One drivers of fathering my son without proof?’
He stood up, moving towards her. ‘And you’re sure now?’
‘I saw the golden helmet statue from that night and I knew it was you without any doubt.’ She stood her ground when he came to a stop mere inches from her. ‘I knew you were Luca’s father.’
His jaw tightened at the last word, his brows furrowing as though he was in pain.
She let him think, knowing she’d had an entire afternoon’s head start on processing all of this.
It was a lot to take in and, while discovering the identity of her child’s father had been a shock for her, she couldn’t imagine it was any easier to be landed with the existence of an entire child he’d never known existed.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked softly. ‘I know this is a lot to take in.’
‘That’s quite the understatement,’ he said with a frown. ‘All day, we’ve been talking about work. About me inheriting Accardi Autosport and potential media fallouts… Meanwhile, you were hiding this.’
‘I wasn’t hiding anything. I searched for Luca’s father, for you, from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I never dreamed it would be someone in Elite One, someone I’ve been working with over the past year.’
She closed her eyes, pained once again by the cruelty of it, just as she had been all day.
They’d lost so much time. Apollo had missed so much.
‘I promise, the moment I realised it was you, I planned to tell you. I wanted us to be alone, to give you time to process everything. There’s no manual on how to disclose paternity to someone you had one encounter with in a darkened lift several years ago. ’
Apollo was still standing statue-like in the centre of the room and the desolate look in his eyes was beginning to make her feel more than a little uneasy.
‘Has he ever asked about his f-father?’ he said finally.
That heartbreaking question cut through her as his voice stumbled slightly over the last word. She’d never heard Apollo Accardi stumble over anything; the man was carved from brazen confidence. She slid her damp palms down along her skirt before answering. ‘Yes. Many times.’
‘And what did you tell him?’
‘That his dad lived somewhere far away and didn’t know about him yet,’ she answered truthfully. ‘Luca was diagnosed with autism a year or so ago. He’s a very literal child. I could never lie to him, as he asks follow-up questions and remembers everything.’
She watched as Apollo stared at the phone screen once more, his eyes tracing over the face of the little boy he’d never met.
She felt compelled to keep talking, so she told him more about Luca’s favourite hobbies and interests—how deeply he adored public transport vehicles at the moment, but how last year it had been dinosaurs and then sharks the year before that.
It felt strange, sharing details about her son like this, but at the same time it felt right in a way that scared her senseless.
Apollo drank in every detail Astrid gave so easily about this little boy who was a stranger to him.
He wasn’t sure how he withstood the earthquake of emotion taking place inside his chest. He stood up and walked to the window of the living room, looking out at the night skyline of Venice spread out below.
He closed his eyes, taking a moment to let the last ripples of shock pulse through him.
He had a son. Luca.
‘You’ve raised him alone this entire time?’ he heard himself ask, hating that he had to ask such questions about his own flesh and blood. He knew so little about him, and felt himself grabbing onto every piece of information like rare treasure.
‘We had some wonderful nannies, and I was able to bring him to race weekends with me thanks to his godfather, Grayson Koh. Grayson is actually married to Luca’s old nanny Izzy now. They’re like our family.’
He felt a flash of jealousy at the mention of Grayson Koh, an older driver and one of his biggest rivals from his early racing days.
He ran a hand through his hair, pushing away the discomfort at knowing the other man had been there for all the moments with Astrid and Luca that he’d missed.
He was glad she had not been completely without support.
Still, he had to wonder how on earth this had happened.
How had they not found one another when they’d both looked?
Astrid had said she’d even hired a private investigator.
Was it a simple twist of fate that had kept them apart or a more deliberate outside force?
His mind turned over the information, something feeling off.
Her phone rang and she froze, uncertainty marring her brow. ‘I… I usually video call with Luca every night when I’m away.’
‘Answer it.’ He sat back against the window ledge. ‘I won’t announce myself to him over a phone screen, if that’s what you’re thinking.’
‘I don’t know what I’m thinking,’ she confessed, letting out a breathless sound. ‘After today, I don’t think I know about anything any more.’
He nodded in understanding, feeling a small moment of solidarity with her in the sea of uncertainty they’d found themselves in. She tapped the screen to answer the call, a small voice with a British accent sounding out loudly in the room.
‘Mummy!’
Astrid shifted seamlessly into a soft, loving tone, complimenting something being shown to her on the screen. ‘You’ve tidied your toys up so well, darling. I’m proud of you.’