Chapter Fifteen
It was only after she’d left that he let those words really sink in, and make sense.
It was only after she’d left that he thought about love, and vulnerability, the great leap of faith that it took to love someone, and finally understood what, on some level, he’d known all along.
Known, but chosen to determinedly ignore.
Known, but resisted with every inch of himself, with every breath in his body, until the strain of pretending he didn’t care was threatening to tear him to shreds.
Love could make you stupid.
Really, really stupid.
His curse tore through the apartment as he dragged a hand through his hair, staring out at the view, looking, this time, to the east, towards the mountain upon which his family’s estate stood.
More importantly, towards Rosemary. Almost as if by looking towards her, she might feel a difference in the atmosphere.
Might understand the epiphany he’d had—that he should have been brave enough to understand, months before this. Years?
He cursed again, but this time it was accompanied by a swift movement as he crossed through the penthouse towards the front door, grabbing his keys from the console table as he swept by.
Having recognised what was in his heart, he couldn’t go another moment without acting. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.
For almost the first time since their abandoned wedding, Rosie left her room.
It was a beautiful late summer’s day and the garden was in full bloom.
Fragrant and evocative of so many of her best memories.
Confident that she could still be left alone out here, she chose to walk amongst the citrus grove, lined as it was by the most fragrant hedge of gardenias.
She breathed them in as she went, aware that if she were to reach out and touch the velvety white flowers they would turn brown by the morning.
She did allow herself to pick one, though, plucking it carefully from its hedge and holding it to her lips, closing her eyes as she inhaled that sweet vanilla scent.
When she heard gravel crunching underfoot, coming from behind her, she presumed it would be her father, intent on bringing her back for dinner.
She knew they were worried about her, and she felt terrible about that.
It hadn’t been her intention to cause them any concern.
She just knew she needed space and time to heal. Maybe it was working.
Or maybe it was just that seeing Aristotle today had put a temporary plaster over her heart, giving her the false hope that the emotional torment was almost at an end.
She angled her face, only half turning. ‘I’ll come in soon, Dad. I just want to see the sunset.’
He didn’t answer. She stopped walking then, sighed softly and turned around, schooling her features into a mask of contentment, even when she didn’t feel it.
But the mask slipped the second she saw Aristotle standing only a few feet behind her, wearing the same suit he’d been wearing earlier. And yet, somehow, he looked different.
‘Aristotle…’ She could hardly say his name. She wasn’t ready for this. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I came to see you.’
She closed her eyes as the summer breeze lifted the magnolia scent and carried it towards her.
‘We’ve already seen each other.’
‘Fine—I came to talk to you.’
‘We’ve done that, too.’
‘Not really.’
She blinked across at him, frowning. ‘Is there something else you have to say?’
‘Yes, in fact. A hell of a lot.’
She shook her head, rejecting that, but her feet didn’t move and nor did her lips. She could only stare at him beseechingly.
Finally, in a last-ditch effort at self-preservation, she murmured, ‘Please, Aristotle. Leaving you almost destroyed me. Don’t make me go through any more. I just can’t bear it.’
‘I spoke to my mother,’ he said pensively, eyes raking her face.
She wished she didn’t care, but how could she not? This affected two people she loved. Her curiosity was natural.
‘And?’
Her heart thundered as he explained the truth, tears filling her eyes.
She shook her head on a wave of mixed emotions.
Sympathy and compassion, anger and disbelief.
How could Stavros Machairas have invented an adoption rather than admit to an affair?
Particularly when, technically, he and Melina had been separated at the time.
‘I can’t believe he put you through that,’ she muttered, lifting a hand to drag a windswept lock of hair behind her ear, right as he went to do the same thing.
Their fingers brushed and her whole body sparked with electric charge.
She dropped her hand quickly to her side, squeezing her fingers into her palm.
‘I can.’ His voice was gruff. ‘He loved my mother enough to do anything for her.’
Rosemary frowned, glancing towards the horizon.
‘Ever since he told me I was adopted I have felt this chasm of emptiness in my chest, a sense that I had been scraped hollow and was just an outline of a man.’
She shook her head. ‘How can you say that? You, of all people. You are dynamic and real—a powerhouse. You walk into a room and the air seems to change. It doesn’t matter where you come from, who your parents are, you are you.’
A muscle jerked in his jaw. ‘The thing is, you’re right.
When my mother told me the truth I didn’t feel a sense of closure—the healing—I might have expected.
I didn’t realise it, but that hole inside of me had already been filled.
’ His eyes bored into hers, the emotion in them taking her breath away.
‘By you, Rosemary. By you, and our baby, and the life we built together.’
Her throat felt raw. Everything hurt. Tears flooded her eyes as she shook her head.
‘I know we were happy,’ she whispered. ‘It would have been enough for me, you know. To marry you and live that life, even knowing you didn’t love me and never would.’
‘But it would never have been enough for me. Love can make you stupid, agápi mou, and I have been the worst kind of fool. Ever since I met you, I found you fascinating, but it wasn’t until our parents’ wedding, when I heard how my one-time friends were talking about you, that I realised I would set the whole world on fire before I’d let anyone hurt you.
’ A tear slid down her cheek. ‘That night terrified me.’
‘Why?’ she demanded fiercely.
‘Because I had become very good at keeping people at a distance, but with you, I already felt you were under my skin. I couldn’t get you out of my mind afterwards.’
She blinked quickly in an attempt to clear her tears.
‘And then, at my mother’s birthday party, I had prepared myself for seeing you, but that didn’t stop me dragging you into my arms the first chance I got.’
‘I didn’t exactly fight you.’
His lips twisted in a grim half-smile. ‘I have been fighting this for so long that I didn’t stop to ask myself exactly what I was fighting.’
‘Which is?’
‘Isn’t it obvious? I’m completely in love with you.
I probably always have been. There is not a single doubt in my mind that this baby was gifted to us to make sure I wasn’t so stupid that I let you go.
Even on our wedding day, all I could think about was what would be right for you.
I loved you so much, but not knowing that, I thought letting you leave would ensure your happiness.
I’ve never felt so incredibly stupid. To think that I ruined everything, put you through this pain—put us both through it—believe me, Rosemary, I have been tortured by this separation as well.
I have ached for you, needed you, dreamed of your smile and laugh.
All I want, the hope that is deepest in my heart, is that we can start again—this time, understanding that we are together because of love. ’
She sobbed again.
‘I want to see the world with you, through your eyes, marvelling at the sites you love. When you go to a dig, our baby and I will come, to be near you, so you can work, and we can be together. I—’ His brow furrowed and the light in his eyes dimmed.
‘Christós, I’m going too fast.’ He took in a deep breath.
‘I love you,’ he said simply. ‘Let me ask, before we think about the future, if you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance?’
‘Aristotle…’ she whispered, her heart beating so fast it was causing an actual painful fluttering in her chest. She lifted a hand, pressed it there, trying to calm it. ‘If this is because you’re worried about me, please don’t.’
He opened his mouth to say something, but she lifted a finger and pressed it to his lips, needing to get this out.
‘I’ve been to a lot of dig sites. I’ve studied a lot of ancient cultures.
And there’s one thing that always strikes me—the enduring familiarity of human emotions.
The need to survive, to love, to grow—a need to feel safe.
’ Her hand dropped to his chest. ‘Love is a part of life, so too is loss. And yet, the survivors move on.’ Her eyes narrowed.
‘I’m a survivor. This, right now, feels impossible, but I’m stronger than you think.
’ Her hand pressed to her stomach, feeling their baby in a way that gave her strength. ‘We’ll be okay.’
‘I know that,’ he said urgently. ‘But I’m not so sure I will be. Particularly not if I have to face the future without the woman I love by my side, knowing it is all my fault.’
‘You told me not to fall in love with you,’ she reminded him. ‘At every step of the way, you were honest with me.’