Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
They married a scant two weeks later.
Never had time rushed so quickly. Annalena had returned to Edelforst, seeking solace in familiar work and faces but didn’t find it.
As she delivered on research goals and finalised contract negotiations, her inbox filled with messages from the palace.
Questions to be answered, decisions to be made, reams of material to digest.
Then there were the calls. To be fair, Benedikt rarely called during business hours, like her, busy with his work. But early in the morning and in the evening she’d hear his deep voice, sometimes scratchy with tiredness, and her senses did an unwanted little shimmy of anticipation.
Those calls catapulted her back to the ball. The whirl of them dancing in harmony as if they were the perfect couple they tried to appear.
To the kiss. The wretched kiss that had upended all her certainty about what she didn’t want from Benedikt.
‘Annalena?’
Colonel Ditmar stood beside her, imposing in dress uniform. His kindly eyes met hers.
‘Sorry. I was…’ What? Wishing herself anywhere but here? ‘Gathering myself.’
A brisk wind caught them on the cathedral’s porch, making her glad she had no veil and wore her hair up. She refused to appear veiled like some virgin, passed from one male protector to another.
Even if the virgin part was true. How was she meant to navigate this marriage when Benedikt undid her so easily? His impact on her had to be down to her inexperience. The alternative was untenable.
‘It’s a big thing you’re doing, my dear, but you’re up to it. You’ll make a wonderful queen. Your grandmother is proud of you and your parents would have been too.’
The colonel’s sincerity as much as his words cut through her jangling nerves. She felt a warm glow, even as her mouth wobbled and she blinked suddenly scratchy eyes.
The thought of her parents approving was surprisingly strengthening.
As for Oma, how Annalena wished she could be here.
But the old lady’s agoraphobia made that impossible.
Annalena knew how frustrated she was by it, and how she hid it behind a brisk manner.
Even now she’d be watching the live broadcast.
The realisation made Annalena straighten and grip her bouquet tighter.
‘Thank you, Colonel, that means a lot.’
She turned to her attendants, a colleague’s twelve-year-old twins. Wearing coronets of wildflowers and pretty dresses of pale spring green, they twitched the hem of her dress. ‘Ready, girls?’
They hurried into position, their eagerness a stark contrast to her feelings.
The colonel nodded to an attendant. A trumpet fanfare sounded then the resonant notes of the massive pipe organ.
Music rolled through the doorway, grand and ebullient.
Celebratory. Annalena refused to acknowledge her stomach’s nauseating churn.
Instead she lifted her chin and let the colonel lead her forward.
Shafts of sunlight, coloured by ancient stained-glass windows, lit the massive heraldic flags hanging high above the congregation. The cathedral was packed. She saw suits and traditional festive clothes, beaming smiles and stares. All those people and she probably only knew a dozen.
It was easier to look at the guests than the tall figure at the end of the aisle. Yet how could she not look?
It felt as though a taut, invisible cord stretched between her and the man waiting at the end of the long red carpet.
Despite her best efforts, her gaze lifted. His eyes were on her, even from this distance she felt the snap and sizzle of his stare. His face looked chiselled, proud and imposing. Her insides did that appalling dance of awareness and her mouth tightened.
Then she remembered the millions watching the televised ceremony and forced a smile.
He was so close now she saw the amber-gold glow of his eyes. But she couldn’t read his expression, just that his focus was totally on her. Was that triumph she read? Satisfaction? It couldn’t be eagerness except for what this marriage brought him—the crown.
There was no more time for thinking. Her attendants took the bouquet. The colonel squeezed her hand and placed it in Benedikt’s.
A tumble of feelings rocked her. Emotions she didn’t want to acknowledge. How could one man’s touch be so different to another’s?
The priest spoke her name and she snapped her head around. But all through the ceremony Annalena felt distanced from it, as if separated by a wall of glass. She was aware only of Benedikt’s hand holding hers and the thrum of her heartbeat. And her stilted voice as she spoke her vows.
Until the moment when a pleased voice said, ‘You may now kiss the bride.’
Inevitably her thoughts flew to the kiss that had left her limp with need. Heat flooded her cheeks as she turned to her husband.
Her husband!
She swallowed and tilted her chin, lifting her face.
An expression cut across his sculpted face, so quickly she almost missed it. Annoyance. A fleeting frown of annoyance!
What the hell did he have to be annoyed about?
Then warm lips covered hers. She inhaled sharply, drawing in the stunningly familiar scent-taste of him. His hand covered her cheek as he tilted his head, a gesture that to the onlookers would appear tender, even possessive. His mouth moved on hers and suddenly she felt—
‘That’s enough,’ she whispered through stiff lips.
Benedikt paused, mouth still brushing hers, then slowly lifted his head as a roar of delight rose from the crowd.
He smiled down at her and she knew the world would see a fairy-tale prince besotted with his bride. Only she knew his smile didn’t reach eyes that stayed serious and watchful.
‘One ceremony down,’ he murmured. ‘Only the coronation to go.’
Hours later Annalena stood in the sitting room of the new suite she’d been allocated, adjoining Benedikt’s. Her face ached from smiling and her feet felt hot from so many hours in heels.
She’d discarded her shoes by the door. She’d thought of running herself a bath since she’d sent away the maid who’d been eager to assist. She wasn’t up to dealing with other people, however helpful.
But instead of relaxing in warm water, she found herself at the window, still in her heavy, satin wedding dress, watching the fireworks explode over the city as Prinzenberg celebrated.
‘I thought you might like some refreshment. You didn’t eat at the reception.’
Annalena swung around in a swish of long skirts, one hand going to her throat. Across the room, in the doorway to his rooms, stood Benedikt.
He’d discarded his jacket and cufflinks and rolled his sleeves to the elbow, baring strong, tanned forearms. His bow tie hung loose and his formal shirt was undone at the throat.
His air of undiluted sexiness stopped her breath. He had a vitality that proclaimed him far more than an office-bound administrator. Annalena wondered what he did in his spare time.
It took a second to register the tray he carried.
‘I didn’t hear you knock.’ Was her voice too high?
‘No. You were oblivious. You’re a fan of fireworks?’
He moved into the room and put the tray on a low table. She saw canapés and fruit, pastries and a wine bottle nestled in the silver cooler.
A tickle of something that might have been excitement stroked her backbone.
That wouldn’t do. She couldn’t allow herself to be wined, dined and charmed.
Not if she wanted to be his equal. Benedikt threatened her equilibrium in ways she’d never experienced.
She couldn’t trust the yearning he made her feel because she feared that would make her vulnerable.
Emotions had made her mother vulnerable and destroyed her.
‘It’s been a long day. I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood for company.’
‘And I’m in no mood to be ignored.’ His tone was even but his words made her head rock back in shock. ‘Listen, Annalena.’ He moved closer. ‘We’ve embarked on something together. Something big. We need to share, not shut each other out.’
In other circumstances his words might have softened her. But she remembered, vividly, his expression in the cathedral. He’d barely hidden his distaste.
‘I agree. We need to work as a team. But not now. I’m tired.’
For a long moment Benedikt said nothing, merely surveyed her, then slowly shook his head. ‘No, you’re not. You’re wired. I can see it from here, feel it. You’re tense with excess energy.’
He was right. The adrenaline that had ridden her all day was still in her bloodstream. How did he know? It couldn’t be that obvious.
‘Okay, then. I’m not tired but I’d rather be alone.’
His gaze narrowed on hers and she felt like a specimen under a microscope. What did he see? The trouble was, the longer he stood there, so effortlessly charismatic, so annoyingly virile, the more her nerves jittered and her composure cracked.
Because for two weeks, underlying everything else she did had run the desire for more from Benedikt. More than that ravishing kiss. Though she knew it would leave her wide open in a way she couldn’t afford. Though she now had confirmation that he really wasn’t into her.
‘If you feel that way I’ll leave. But first tell me what’s wrong. There’s something, isn’t there?’
A ragged laugh escaped. ‘Apart from being blackmailed into marriage?’
Benedikt said nothing, merely waited, leaving her with the disturbing feeling that she was overly emotional. She folded her arms across her waist, palms flat against heavy satin.
‘You come to my room as if we’re friends or lovers.’ She licked dry lips. ‘You talk about sharing, but I know what I saw in the cathedral. I’d rather you were honest about your feelings.’
His eyebrows scrunched down, furrows lining his brow. ‘What did you see?’