Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Annalena woke to find her head turned towards the car window as they drove through darkness. Benedikt was beside her in the driver’s seat. The vehicle was climate-controlled but she felt the warmth of his body and registered the unique tangy scent of his skin.
After last night’s intimacies her physical awareness of him had turned into something more, as if he’d imprinted himself on her psyche and her body.
She knew she’d be able to sense his presence anywhere. She felt that awareness now in the pit of her stomach, a coiling consciousness, and in her chest, expanding as she inhaled that tantalising scent.
All the more reason to her keep eyes closed while she gathered her wits. It had been an eventful day and she needed to process it.
She’d woken feeling more alive than she ever had in her life.
But disappointment had consumed her on discovering Benedikt’s absence.
They’d spent the night entwined, even when they weren’t having sex.
Annalena was careful not to confuse sex with making love.
Even if that was what it had felt like—his gentleness, his care and his passion.
Just as well she was a pragmatist. She understood the way she’d felt last night, and her searing disappointment at his desertion this morning, must be products of her inexperience. Losing her virginity was a major event on top of weeks of strain and high emotion.
No wonder she’d felt so much.
When she became acclimatised to physical intimacy she’d be able to separate her emotions. It was just that last night had been so…
She had no words. Wonderful didn’t encompass the depth of her emotions as she’d hugged Benedikt to her and felt him spill himself inside her. When he’d taken such care with her that it had seemed not like calculated patience but tenderness, almost reverence.
She stifled a snort. The illusion hadn’t lasted. Waking alone and naked, the bed cold around her, had brought her back to reality.
They’d share the crown and their bodies but emotions weren’t part of the deal.
Of course he’d had a plausible reason for leaving, as he’d explained over breakfast. He hadn’t wanted to wake her, knowing she’d be exhausted and possibly sore. His solicitousness about that had made her blush despite her best efforts.
So, he’d explained, he’d worked in his own suite with the door open so he’d hear when she got up.
She had needed the sleep. And she wasn’t sore but tender, aware of her body as never before. All day, at the most inconvenient times, she’d felt that tenderness, remembered last night and wished…
There’s no point wishing for the impossible.
Despite Benedikt’s solicitude over breakfast, there’d been no breath-stealing kisses, just reminders that theirs was a pragmatic marriage.
He’d ushered her to a seat, his hand hovering close but not touching.
As for a good morning kiss, he’d pressed his lips to her forehead as she’d sat and when she’d tilted her head up for more he’d already turned away to sit on the other side of the table.
They’d discussed allocating her a security detail and a private secretary. That was when he’d surprised her, asking if she’d like Udo, the guard she’d first met in the palace foyer, on her security team. She’d seen Udo several times in the palace and had always stopped to exchange greetings.
Annalena didn’t know whether to be worried that such minor interactions had been noted, or pleased at Benedikt’s thoughtfulness, suggesting a friendly face on the team she’d need, despite her protests.
When they’d discussed candidates for her secretary there’d been another surprise. ‘As long as it’s not Ida Becker,’ Annalena had said.
Only to have Benedikt declare, ‘Ms Becker has left palace employment.’ Seeing her stare, he’d added, ‘I discovered she was the one who rudely left you waiting that first day, and her attitude since…’ He shook his head, his expression grim. ‘I won’t have her near you, or the palace.’
Benedikt’s words, his protectiveness, had disarmed her.
It was impossible to believe now that Ida had had a relationship with him.
He had better taste and he wasn’t the sort to dally with staff.
When Annalena had accused him of toying with the Countess’s feelings he’d looked appalled at the suggestion, and that was the woman he’d considered marrying.
Benedikt confused her. His thoughtfulness was real, as was his passion, but he deliberately distanced himself.
Organising a surprise honeymoon is hardly distancing himself.
That had been utterly unexpected. He hadn’t mentioned a honeymoon, nor had she anticipated one, for they weren’t ordinary newly-weds, eager to be alone together. The news that he’d organised one had stunned her. She knew his workload. How had he carved out time for a bridal trip, and why?
Obvious. Benedikt wanted the world to believe theirs was more than a convenient marriage. He wanted it to appear solid.
Annalena remembered her shock as the motorcade had left the palace and headed, not for the airport, but towards Edelforst.
It seemed she was the only one who hadn’t known.
When they’d reached her province people had lined the roads in every town and village, sometimes even in forests and farmland.
Her throat had closed as she’d seen beaming faces, flags waving, and wildflowers strewn across the road.
And when they’d taken the road to her grandmother’s home…
‘I know you’re awake, Annalena. I can hear you thinking.’
Had his senses become attuned to her the way hers were to him? Then she realised how ludicrous that was. She sat up, blinking as the headlights cut the darkness, following a winding, well-made road.
‘It was kind of you to visit my grandmother.’ She blamed her scratchy voice on the fact she’d just woken. ‘It meant a lot to her, and me.’
‘She’s a formidable lady. I can see where you get your strength.’
Annalena turned, surveying his profile in the light from the dashboard. Her heart did a funny little somersault and for a second she felt a jab of distress. Would it always be like this now? This weakness for a man who could never be the sort of husband she wanted?
‘She’s strong-willed, but she’s caring too.’
Some people only saw Oma’s formality and didn’t realise the kindness that made her the special person she was.
A wry smile curved Benedikt’s mouth. ‘I know. It’s there in the respect her people have for her. And the obvious love she has for you. But I wouldn’t like to get on her bad side.’
‘I don’t think you need worry about that. She approves of you.’
That hadn’t entirely surprised Annalena, given Oma’s comments about him as a potential husband. Yet she’d been surprised at how well the pair had got on. Oma had unbent enough to let him kiss her cheek, a rare privilege.
‘I take that as a huge compliment. I admire her enormously.’
‘I didn’t think you knew her.’
‘No, but I knew of her years ago. She was one of the few people in all Prinzenberg able to hold my father to account. I always admired the way she spoke up for what she believed was right, even when he tried to bully her.’
His words created an inner glow. ‘She’s been my heroine all my life.’ And the closest she’d had to a mother.
‘I thought she’d come to the capital for the wedding.’ Benedikt glanced her way. ‘You said she was unwell and so I didn’t expect someone so spry.’
Annalena hesitated, about to prevaricate. But they’d agreed to be truthful with each other and there’d be other times when Oma’s incapacity would become obvious.
‘Not all disability is visible.’ She turned to look at the windscreen, trying to work out where they were, but the forest wasn’t familiar.
‘Oma is strong in many ways but the trauma of my parents’ death took a toll.
She refused to enter the rest of Prinzenberg again, but when I was little I travelled with her regularly all through Edelforst. Then, gradually, I realised she wasn’t travelling as far as before.
Her physical boundaries have narrowed, even though her interests and her mind haven’t.
Nowadays she barely goes beyond our valley. People come to her instead.’
Warmth closed around her fisted hand. Warmth from Benedikt’s long fingers, gently squeezing. ‘Agoraphobia?’
Annalena nodded. ‘I know she wanted to be at my wedding.’ She’d wanted it too.
‘I’m sorry she couldn’t be. It was tough for you not having family there.’ He lifted his hand to the wheel as they took a bend and Annalena was surprised how much she missed his touch. ‘We’ll just have to visit her often.’
Annalena’s head swung around. In the dim light he looked serious, and he’d said we not you . ‘You’d do that?’
‘She’s important to you and you to her. Why would I get in the way of that? My father was deplorable but other members of my family saved me from the worst of him. And from myself. If you have good people in your life you need to cherish them.’
That surprised her. Talk of cherishing seemed at odds with the tough negotiator who’d put their wishes behind the country’s future.
He seemed genuinely taken with her grandmother but to decide they should both visit her, as if he wanted to build a relationship with the old lady, was something she’d never considered.
Because you’ve spent so long thinking of him as your enemy. You know there’s more to him than that.
Then there was his candour about his family. How had they saved him and from what? Did he mean his mother? But why not say so? Annalena was ashamed she had no idea what other family he had. None were at the wedding.
She was about to ask when Benedikt said, ‘We’re here.’
The car swung out of the forest, the road curving up to a wide-eaved chalet overlooking a meadow. Lights shone at the windows and along a deep balcony with a carved wooden balustrade where scarlet flowers spilled. High beyond the chalet sat the dark bulk of a mountain.