CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Tessa
I STARE AT my husband, standing framed in the doorway looking impossibly handsome as always in black pants and a black shirt.
“Tessa.”
I want nothing more than to go to him, press myself against him and fling my arms around his neck. Tell him everything that’s on my heart.
Slowly. I need to go slowly so as not to send him running off into the night.
“Hello, Rafe.”
“What are you doing here?”
My resolve falters. Is he not happy to see me?
And then I shake my head. Maybe after I tell him everything I’ve come to say, he’ll still stick to his resolve to have nothing to do with me. That having a family of his own is the last thing he wants.
But I can try. I can tell him everything I’m feeling, take the risk and reap the rewards or leave Rafe in my past knowing I did everything in my power to try.
“I…I forgot something.”
Ah, yes. The lamest excuse I could possibly come up with.
His brows draw together. “In the master suite?”
“Well…” My voice trails off as I take in the room beyond him. “Oh! It really turned out well, didn’t it?”
He glances over his shoulder. Then, at last, he opens the door wider and steps aside, gesturing for me to come in. I try to ignore the heat of his body as I pass by. I sweep a critical eye over the furnishings, the decor. It turned out even better than I anticipated.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes.”
I glance at him over my shoulder. He’s watching me with an intensity that unsettles me. Momentarily knocks me off my course.
“I’m glad.”
“The paintings were a nice touch.”
“Thank you.” I hesitate. “I always saw you looking out. I thought after a long day, this might be a good place for you to come.”
He takes a step toward me. My breath freezes in my chest.
“I always commended myself on my powers of observation. But you have considerable skill of your own.”
“Thanks.” I try to force a smile, even as it feels as though a dozen birds are madly beating their wings against the inside of my rib cage. “An important skill for an interior designer.”
“You failed to notice one thing, however.”
I blink, unsure of what to say. “Oh?”
“You didn’t notice the most important thing that’s missing in here.”
My eyes roam around the room, trying and failing to think of what I missed.
“What?”
“You.”
Time stops. We stare at each other, hearts thudding, pulses pounding. I swear I can hear his from across the room.
And then we’re moving, crashing into each other as though it’s been years instead of a few weeks. His arms band about my waist. I release my grip on my crutches, slide my arms out of the cuffs and let them drop as I fling my arms around his neck and bury my face against his shoulder.
“Rafe.”
His name comes out on a sob. His fingers tangle in my hair as he pulls back just enough to seal his lips over mine. The kiss travels through me, lightning bolts of pleasure that blend with the sensation of coming home.
“Tessa.” He keeps one arm around my waist to steady me as the other comes up and cups my face. He presses a tender kiss to my forehead. “I was going to come to you. To Paris.”
“Guess I beat you to it.”
I cling to him. His initial reception gives me hope. But I know there’s still so much to be done. So much for us to figure out.
For now, though, just for this moment, there’s us. There’s hope.
“I did forget something, you know,” I murmur against his neck.
“What’s that?”
I steel myself, summon every ounce of courage I have even as I fight against a deep-seated fear.
“I forgot to tell you I love you.”
His fingers still on my back as his body tenses in my arms. My heart catapults into my throat. Have I made a mistake?
One hand grips my chin and tilts my head up. His mouth crashes down onto mine. A deep, possessive kiss that makes my soul sing.
“Tessa.”
He murmurs my name, says it over and over again as he kisses my lips, my cheek, my forehead.
“I should have told you.” I hold on to his neck, lean into his touch. “I didn’t want to tell you and have it come across like I was using my emotions to keep you tethered to me. To influence your decision.”
He pulls back and gives me that half smile that drives me crazy. “If you haven’t noticed, I rarely surrender to the wishes of others.”
“It wasn’t worth the risk.” My tone is serious, my conviction strong. “I never wanted you to feel trapped, Rafe. I already felt like I had used you when we got married. I couldn’t bear to do that again. To either of us.”
“I don’t know if you telling me then would have made a difference. I was so entrenched in the idea that I wasn’t enough for you that I was blind to everything else.” He glances around the room. “It took you being gone for me to realize the kind of life I could have with you. And the kind of life I would have without.”
He leans down, presses his forehead against mine. “The possibility of having a real marriage, a family, all of it seemed impossible because I had never really contemplated it. When I saw you in Paris, I wanted more. But my only basis for comparison were my experiences with Lucifer and my mother and Gavriil.”
I trace a soothing hand down the side of his face. “Gavriil wasn’t your fault.”
“I talked with him.”
“When?”
“Just before you arrived. You must have just missed him.” He shakes his head. “Michail was here, too.”
“The Drakos brothers all together.” I laugh slightly. “I would have paid to see that.”
“It was something.” His smile fades as his gaze intensifies. “It was…helpful. I don’t know where it will lead. But I didn’t realize until Gavriil forgave me that I’d been carrying that weight around with me for so long. It impacted me more than I had realized. Once I didn’t have that hanging around my neck…”
His breath rushes out. He moves one hand between our bodies. When he settles in on my stomach, I can’t help it. Tears gather on my lashes. One traces a warm trail down my cheek.
“I thought about it, Tessa. I thought about it and suddenly I wanted it like nothing I’ve ever wanted before. Well,” he says as he looks up from where his hand rests, “except you. None of it means anything without you.”
“Rafe.” His name is a broken sob as love swells inside me.
“I love you, Tessa. I’ve loved you for far longer than I ever realized. When you left…” His breath rushes out. “It nearly killed me, Tessa.”
“I missed you, too. It was like a piece of me was missing. I couldn’t have survived.”
“You could have.” His voice is strong, firm in his belief. “You are so capable, Tessa. I still have things to figure out with Drakos Development and what my future will look like. But I promise to never hold you back. Your company, scuba diving, mountain climbing…”
I laugh. “Mountain climbing?”
“I have literal billions at my disposal.” He kisses me, as if he can’t bear to stop touching me. “No matter what the future holds for us, you will always have the freedom to do what you want.”
“Rafe, that means so much. But,” I add gently as I brush a kiss along his jaw, “you’re a part of this, too. That means we’ll figure it out together.”
He guides me over to the edge of the bed and helps me sit. He holds up a finger and disappears, giving me a moment to look around the room and take in everything from the wood ceiling fan spinning lazily overhead to the picture frame he kept on the bureau.
I thought I was happy in Paris. That was nothing compared to the complete and utter contented joy filling me to the brim.
Rafe walks back into the room, a sheaf of papers in hand. He drops down to one knee in front of me and holds them up.
“Tessa Drakos, may I have the honor of ripping up this petition for divorce?”
I can’t help my laugh. “Yes.”
He grabs the corners of the petition and rips it clean down the middle. He tosses the torn shreds on the floor behind him, then grabs my left hand in his. A smile spreads across his face as he sees the engagement ring made of citrines and diamonds and its matching platinum band.
“You put it back on.”
“It seemed right since I was coming back here to tell you I wanted to give us a little more time.”
“And now?” he asks as he gently tugs the rings off.
“Now I want forever.”
A shudder passes through him.
“The last time I proposed, I asked you if a marriage would be agreeable.”
I press my lips together to keep from smiling. “I remember.”
“This time, though,” he says as he slides the engagement ring back onto my finger, “I’m asking you to stay married because I love you. I admire you. I want to dive with you in the ocean and wake up with you in my arms every morning. I want to travel the world and, when the time comes, I want to be the father of your children.”
Tears are falling down my cheeks, steady now, but I don’t care.
“Yes, Rafe. Yes.”
He slides the silver band onto my finger. I barely have time to look at the rings together before he eases me back onto the bed and covers my body with his. I respond in a heartbeat, every fiber of my being trembling as his firm weight settles on top of me. His breath feathers over my skin.
“I haven’t slept in this bed yet.”
I blink back more tears. “I’m not normally this weepy.”
“So long as they’re good tears.” He kisses one away as it slips down my cheek. “The thought of sleeping in here without you…it felt wrong.”
I kiss him. “I’m here now.”
“You are,” he says with another true smile that melts my heart. “And I’m never letting you go again.”