CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
H E HAD TO let her go. It destroyed him to do it, but he had to.
If you care enough about me to want to protect me, then you’re not a bad person .
It was a paradox, though. How could he protect her if she wasn’t where he could see her? Touch her? Feel her asleep beside him and know she was safe and warm and happy?
How could he be a good person when he was hurting her by pushing her away?
“Text me when you arrive,” he said as she shouldered a small bag on her way to the door.
She only released a choked noise, barely acknowledging him as she left with her chin high and her mouth trembling.
She did text, though, while he was staring at his breakfast, incapable of swallowing a bite.
Here.
If she had been able to think of a shorter word, he was sure she would have used it.
He drew a breath that held more acid than relief.
Sleep had eluded him. He’d kept pushing himself to go over the points he would make to the board this morning, but his heart wasn’t in it. What was he trying to prove? Yes, he believed he was better equipped to lead DVE into the future, but did he expect to feel validated by being awarded that role? Legitimate? Accepted? Was he still trying to get what he thought his mother had deserved from her very brief affair with Oliver?
He was making a case that he was better than Oliver, but if he was using his father’s underhanded tactics to achieve his ends, did he deserve to run the company?
He arrived at the DVE building still unsettled and had a brief meeting with his assistant, Derik, and other key personnel. When they made their way to the boardroom, he bumped into Carmel in the hallway.
“I didn’t expect you,” he said. She usually voted by proxy, typically giving her support to Oliver, so there was no reason for her to be here unless she was hoping to gloat after Atlas lost.
“It’s only my future that’s being decided.” She touched the diamond stud in her ear, still looking wan and brittle from her stay in rehab, but her eyes were clear, her color good, and her appearance impeccable. “I was going to stay home and watch reality television, but I finished that book Stella gave me and thought she’d like to read it. Is she here?” She looked past him toward the office they’d just left.
“No. She’s in Switzerland.”
“Oh. Is everything okay?” She almost sounded sincere in her concern.
Don’t tell her .
He knew she would use it against him in the meeting, but he seemed to be on a full bender of self-destruction because he snapped, “No, it’s not okay, Carmel. Yesterday she had a taste of what she married and rightfully spat it out.”
“She left you?” she asked in a shocked hush. “But what about this meeting?” She motioned toward the boardroom where everyone was taking seats. “You married her for this.”
“I know that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling as though he was being drawn and quartered. Pulled in too many directions.
Because he hadn’t married her for this. This takeover had been the justification he’d used to make sense of his desire for her. After one brief meeting, she had stayed in his memory for five years . She hadn’t been gone twenty-four hours and he felt as though he’d had a limb amputated.
He never should have let her go.
His phone vibrated and he reached to silence it, but saw Stella’s face on the screen.
“Stella.” Words piled up in his mouth. He didn’t know where to start.
“It’s Beate. We’re in the hospital,” her sister said with an unsteady hiccup. “Pappa pushed Stella down the stairs.”
“What?!” His shout was so loud, everyone inside the boardroom stopped to look. He snapped his fingers at Derik and started toward the elevator.
“Don’t say that!” He could hear Stella saying in the background. “Give that to me. Atlas, I’m fine.” Her voice came on the line, adamant but shaken. “It was more of a stumble.”
“Are you hurt?” he demanded, heart stumbling.
“I put out my arm to stop my fall and it needs an X-ray. I told Beate you’re going into a meeting and that I’d call you later. You should have let it go to voicemail.”
“I don’t care about a stupid meeting, Stella. I’m leaving now. Get the jet readied for Bern,” he ordered Derik, who was hurrying alongside him with the rest of his entourage. “Where’s your father? Did he hurt anyone else?”
“The police took him for questioning. One of the neighbors saw it and called them. At least this time it’s not his word against mine.”
“ This time?” He nearly lost his mind.
They all crowded into the elevator, but he stopped one of the suits and pointed him back the way they’d come. “Tell them my wife is in the hospital. They can have their meeting without me.”
“I’m telling you I’m fine,” Stella insisted. “Oh. They’re here to take me to X-ray. Go into your meeting. Call me after. I—I’d like to know how it goes.”
They would talk in two hours or less, he resolved as he ended the call and ran his hand down his face, shaken to his core. What had he expected would happen if he let her go back there alone? What an idiot . What a blind, callous idiot he was. Even if she forgave him, he never would.
As he climbed into the back of the SUV, Carmel slid into the seat on the other side, taking the spot his assistant would normally use.
“What are you doing?”
“Coming with you.” She made a show of straightening her pleated skirt.
“No.” He held up his hand to keep the driver from shutting the door, even though some tourists were aiming their phones to catch a snap of both of them inside the car. “I know you enjoy it when I suffer, but this amount of schadenfreude is in poor taste, even for you.” He flicked his hand, ordering her to leave.
Her mouth pursed. “You would go with me if the situation was reversed.” She leaned to see Derik, who was hovering with confusion. “Get a message upstairs. Tell them if Daddy is left in charge, and Atlas takes all his money out of DVE, then I’m taking Davenwear and all of my share of the assets, too. I refuse to stay on a sinking ship.”
Atlas was floored. “Is that really why you came in today?”
“I’m not as blind to Daddy’s shortcomings as you think I am,” she said haughtily. “I’m learning how to look after myself, same as you. Now let’s go.” She waved with annoyance at the men on the curb. “We have a flight to catch.”
The door slammed and the driver got behind the wheel while Derik took the passenger seat, already relaying Carmel’s message to someone over his phone.
“Will she be okay?” Carmel asked with quiet concern as they pulled into traffic.
“I don’t know.”
Physically, it didn’t sound too serious, but emotionally, Stella had to be traumatized. He wasn’t even there and he was filled with anguish.
He should have been there.
“I hope so.”
The greater question was, would they be okay?
On that, he didn’t have much hope at all.
* * *
* * *
Stella was making her police report from her hospital room, waiting for the fracture in her forearm to be cast, when Atlas strode in.
“My husband,” she blurted as the startled police officer held up a stern hand.
Her heart nearly burst with shock and joy at the sight of him. She had cried most of the journey from London, berating herself for falling in love with a man who had seemed to feel nothing for her at all.
She had been so hurt, so angry with him and herself, she hadn’t wanted to call him after her tumble. Beate had thrust her phone in front of her face to unlock it and placed the call herself.
The truth was, Stella hadn’t believed he would come if she asked. He’d made it clear that he didn’t love her and she’d thought that was the end of it.
“How bad is it?” Atlas stopped next to her bed, hands coming out and pausing in midair before he gripped the rail. His gaze swept over her from the collar of her hospital gown to her legs beneath the blanket, then came back to the arm that was elevated on a pillow and wearing an ice pack.
“A hairline fracture in my wrist. As I was just explaining to…” She motioned with her good hand to the officer. “I called Pappa to say I was visiting Grettina, in case he wanted me to look at anything at the house.”
She explained about the house she’d purchased for him and why.
“He came over an hour later, angry that I was staying with Grettina when he wasn’t allowed to. He said I should stay in my own house and let him resume living with his wife. Grettina came to the door so I stepped out to stand beside him. She told him she wanted to stick to their arrangement where he comes for dinner once a week to see the twins. I offered to order a car so he didn’t have to wait for the bus and he lost his temper and elbowed me. I lost my footing and fell down the stairs.” Eight of them.
She had to take a moment to push back the horror as she had realized there was nothing but air beneath her foot.
Atlas’s grip on the bed rail looked strong enough to bend it like a paper clip.
“Has this happened before?” the officer asked.
“I made a complaint a few years ago.” She rushed to get out the rest so she never had to speak of it again. “It turned into a he said, she said, but that’s why Grettina left him. She was worried he would continue to lash out physically, especially with the little ones. Pappa was advised to go through an anger management program, but he never did.”
“Where is he now?” Atlas asked sharply.
“He’s in custody,” the officer said. “He’ll likely be held overnight. We have the neighbor’s statement. I expect he’ll face criminal proceedings.” The officer gave her contact details for a social worker who could provide mental health and other supports.
“I saw Beate in the hall,” Atlas said once the officer was gone. “Where is Grettina? Is she safe?”
“Elijah is with her at the house.” He had arrived when the police did. “He’s going to drive her and the twins to visit her cousin in Berlin. Her cousin’s husband is a divorce lawyer. Beate will stay with Elijah until school finishes.”
“And you’ll come home with me.”
“I—” As she had sat here in the numbness of shock, certain her marriage was over before it had properly started, she had wanted nothing more than to be where she had always felt safe. Where she felt empowered and independent and sure of who she was. “I was planning to go to Zermatt.”
His expression shuttered. “To close your apartment?”
Her neighbor had cleaned out her refrigerator the day after Stella left with Atlas, but—
“I’m not sure.” She searched his gaze, trying not to feel a lilt of hope at his presence here. “What happened at your meeting? Do you even need a wife anymore?”
His expression spasmed. He looked to the door as it opened.
The nurse came in with a wheelchair to take her to have her arm cast.
The wheelchair wasn’t necessary. Stella was able to walk and not the least bit dizzy or lightheaded, but Atlas helped her off the bed and into the chair, then followed her into the hall, where Beate sat with Carmel.
“Hello,” Stella said with surprise, putting up her good hand so the nurse would pause next to the pair of women. “I didn’t know you were here,” she said to Carmel.
“Atlas nearly fainted when he got your call. I thought I’d better keep an eye on him. I hear your father makes ours look like Santa Claus. Oliver’s been told to clean out his desk, by the way,” she informed Atlas offhandedly. “You’re in. The announcement said it more nicely, but it’s effective immediately. How long are you here?” She looked back at Stella.
“I’ll be discharged as soon as I get my cast.” It was done then. Atlas had what he wanted from their marriage. He didn’t need her.
“Pity.” Carmel pouted with disappointment. “Beate and I were putting together an order for some really spicy books for you. Have you read this one?” She pointed at her phone and looked to Beate. “I nearly got pregnant just reading about this guy.”
Beate snickered.
It was a pity, Stella thought. She and Carmel might have become friends if they’d had the chance.
She looked at Atlas, aware that his sister liked to exaggerate for comedic effect. He might have rushed to her side out of a sense of duty, but he hadn’t been that upset. Had he?
“I’ll be here when you get back,” he said, giving nothing away.
* * *
While Atlas waited for Stella to be discharged, Beate left to meet a friend. She had arranged to stay with her while Elijah was taking Grettina to her cousin’s and the other girl was off work, so Beate was meeting her downstairs.
“Atlas.” Carmel crossed her legs and clasped her knee, leaning toward him. “This is how my therapist talks to me. Atlas, what brings you here today? Use your ‘I’ statements.”
She had been surprisingly decent this whole time so he didn’t tell her where to go. Even so, “Pass.”
She sighed and sat back. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. My stumble.”
“You asked me if I should call your sponsor. I should have.” He pushed his hands into his pockets, looking down the hall, willing Stella to come back even though she’d only just left.
“No. I should have. I wasn’t even that upset when you told me you were married. Not until Daddy came downstairs and started saying things to get me worked up. The worst part is, I knew what he was doing. He was drinking in front of me, wanting me to fall off the wagon so he could make it your fault. I let it happen because…” She shrugged, mouth twisting into deep remorse. “Because I want him to love me.”
“I know.” Atlas watched her eyes fill with tears. “I don’t blame you for that.”
“He doesn’t, though.” She wiped under one eye, expression tightening. “In therapy, we’re always talking about making sure the people around us will support our sobriety and he doesn’t. He never has. You do, though. I don’t know why, since you can’t stand me.”
“I can stand you a little. When you’re not being horrible.” It wasn’t entirely a joke, but he added more sincerely, “I don’t blame you for resenting me. I would, in your shoes.”
“I shouldn’t, though! You’re the one who gets me into rehab and calls while I’m there. You’re the one who says ‘good job’ at work. And now you have this wife who is not a vapid witch like Iris. She’s nice . Please tell me you haven’t really ruined it with her? Why would you do that?”
He drew a breath and held it, shaking his head. “I don’t know. Why do you hurt yourself when you’re mad at him?”
“Oh, Atlas. You don’t care enough about him to let him affect you like that.”
“After yesterday, I saw too much of him in me. I want better than that for her.”
“Then be better. Gawd. It’s not that hard.” She waited a beat before adding facetiously, “For you.”
He looked again for Stella. What was taking so long?
“You love her, don’t you?” she asked gently.
His heart was beating outside his chest, calling to Stella, but he’d spent too many years hiding his closest feelings from this woman. She had used them too many times to hurt him.
“I thought you were going to cry, Atlas. When you got that call. I’ve never been so scared in my life because I really didn’t know what I could do to help you if you’d lost her.” She rose and squeezed his arm, smiling and nodding past him. “Here she comes.”
His entire being settled as he saw Stella being wheeled toward him.
He hadn’t known what he would do, either, if something more serious had happened to her.
“You’re here, Atlas. Not in London. You have your priorities in order. You’re not like him.”
That moment of danger had put everything into perspective for him, though. When it counted, he had no problem walking away from the nonsense of life toward the meaning of it.
That’s what she was, he realized. All these weeks since meeting her again, he had suffered an indefinable sensation of Stella being beyond his reach. He realized now he’d been holding her off. He had known that she would become his world and that meant letting go of all those other things that had consumed him.
They were inconsequential now, though. None of it mattered so long as he had her.
As she rolled to a stop before him, she seemed to come to rest inside his heart.
She was his everything. He didn’t know how he would make up for the hurt he’d caused her, but he was damned well going to try.