Chapter 10
FORD
No one would ever accuse me of being a chef, but the things I knew how to make, I made pretty well.
I was halfway through prepping the steak tips, a favorite of mine, when I realized I was caring way too much about how it turned out.
My onions had to be sliced perfectly, the mushrooms cleaned without being bruised.
It was ridiculous. This was supposed to be a thank-you meal, not a page out of a romance novel.
Sure, the thank-you should be big because he’d done a lot for me, from taking me in when my life imploded to giving me a shower, a bed, and a place to stay. And the big one, not making me feel like an intruder after my initial arrival when I sort of really was one.
There was more to this than thank you, though. It was time I accepted that. I went so far as to check the steak sauce, just in case he didn’t like the sauce I made, and make sure it wasn’t expired.
My dragon, on the other hand, was prancing around like the king of the world. I ignored him. Mostly.
Dinner was just about ready. The meal smelled amazing, which only reminded me how horribly I smelled when I’d arrived. Everything always came back to Zack.
The table was set, and the food was nearly ready to be plated.
The only thing missing was him. Being a dragon, I’d be able to hear him pulling in before I could see him, but that didn’t stop me from looking out the window every minute to see if he was there.
Anybody who saw me would think it was pathetic. They might’ve been right.
I was getting all ready for a date, despite not having an actual date. I missed him, which, given that I saw him every day, didn’t make sense. True, I hadn’t talked to him this morning, but that was hardly an “I haven’t seen him in days” kind of vibe.
Finally, I heard the truck pulling into the driveway.
Zack was here.
Zack was home.
I stared out the window like a little dog waiting for their owner to come in, not even trying to be subtle. When he parked his truck, that was when the anticipation really hit me.
Not able to wait anymore, I stepped out on the porch. “Surprise.”
I stepped out of the way so he could walk in. “I hope you're hungry.”
He came in and froze in his steps. “You cooked all this?”
I nodded.
“Smells amazing.”
“I wanted to say thank you.”
A small smile touched his face. “Our dragon seems to like us,” he said.
Our dragon. That had to mean something, right?
“Why don’t you go wash up, and I’ll get everything on the table?”
He went quickly, and I was almost finished getting everything set up when he came back out.
“It smells delicious, but I don’t see the steak sauce.”
“Oh yeah, I was gonna go get that for you.”
“No, I don’t need it. I just thought…” He reached over and wiped something off my face. “Steak sauce.”
“Oh,” I stuttered, “I didn’t realize I spattered. I wanted to make sure it was still good, in case you didn’t like the sauce I made.”
“How could I not?” He put his fork in and brought it to his lips. The alpha was trying to kill me. “It’s delicious. Maybe one day you can teach me how you made it.”
I picked up my fork to give me something to do. I had to think before I spoke. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to mess everything up.
“How was the den?”
“They were good.” He told me about his day between bites, and then I took over, telling him about the store, the pie, and making a new friend.
“I was wondering where Liam went.” He served himself seconds, and I felt like taking a victory lap. “Liam’s a good guy. Everyone likes him.”
I could see why. “He thought maybe we could play darts someday.”
“Prepare to lose.” Zack chuckled.
“Is he that good?” Liam wouldn’t need to be very good to beat me, but it sounded like he had skills.
“He’s that good.”
For the first time, it felt easy talking to Zack. After my initial nerves fell away, the conversation flowed naturally. My dragon wasn’t pushing, he was just enjoying the moment, which allowed me to do the same.
Eventually, the discussion shifted back to the den, which was good.
There was so much I wanted to know. Was I fishing for information?
Yes. I didn’t feel bad about it. I wanted to understand the relationship that my mate had with them, what it was like growing up there for him, why he left, and if he still loved them.
And the big one, why did he spend so much time there if he preferred living alone?
Then he told me, not holding back a single bit.
He talked about when he was a child, about his first shift, about the time he thought about moving away.
The more he spoke, the more I understood.
Just like me, he had complicated relationships with his loved ones.
Only, even after all these years, he still mattered to them and they did to him.
Whereas growing up, I never mattered in any real sense. I was shunned and treated as less-than.
To Zack, the den wasn’t just the group he belonged to, not in the same way my flight was to me. It wasn’t a place, although his physically was. That den was part of him. That should’ve made me happy. He had what I’d always wanted, and it was on his own terms. Shouldn’t that be how life was?
Only I wasn’t happy. I felt sick.
I’d made the right choice not to claim him because Zack belonged here, in Bramble Woods—in this climate, in this house. He needed to be with his den, his roots. The thought of taking him from that made me queasy.
Instead of explaining all of this to him, like I knew I should, I pushed my fork around my plate, trying to look like I was still enjoying my tasty meal.
Zack noticed.
Of course he did.
“Why’d you go so quiet?” he asked.
“Not so quiet. Just looking for the best mushroom.”
“Ford?”
“It’s nothing.” I stabbed a mushroom that I had no intention of eating to prove I’d been telling the truth despite lying.
“Look up at me, please.”
I did.
“You’ve barely said two words in the past two minutes.”
“I’m fine.” Fine was the biggest lie I’d told, and he gave me a look that told me how untrue it was.
I picked up my fork, planning to force myself to chew and swallow that mushroom down and hope my stomach made it through. I knew if I didn’t tell him how I was feeling now, I wasn’t ever going to.
“My contract with Sampson is one year. I wasn’t planning on staying here.”
He reached over, but I stopped him.
“No, let me get this all out. Sampson needed someone to get things in the shop set up so he could have more time to himself and streamline things. My job is to work myself out of a job, and the terms were one year. I planned to work, save money, then figure out what came next. This was my escape plan. I needed to get away from my flight, to get away from where I knew I would never belong.”
This time when he reached over and put his hand on mine, I let him.
“A year is a long time,” he said, and I was confused. What did that even mean?
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“A lot could happen in a year.” He gave my hand a squeeze.”You don’t have to leave then.”
Was he asking me to stay?
“Dragons mate differently, right? They don’t rush bonds.”
“Right,” I said again, and he believed me.
Or maybe he pretended to believe me.
We cleaned up, and I tried to pretend everything was fine, except it wasn’t. It was back to being awkward for me, but he didn't seem to mind. Maybe I was a better actor than I thought.
I made us some tea and brought out the cookies I bought.
“They’re good. I’ve had them before.”
“Ford, are we going to keep pretending like you don’t need to tell me something?”
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out.
“I don’t want to take you slow. I want it to go forward… with you. Thinking of leaving you physically hurts.”
“Are you sure? We don’t have to rush things. I will respect your timetable.”
“My timetable says now.”