Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryan
I took Raven’s face in my hands and pulled her into my chest. She cried softly into my hoodie as I looped an arm around her shoulders and stroked her hair. She was vulnerable, and I suspected she didn’t show this side of herself to anyone. Hell, she might even hide these feelings from herself.
I wasn’t sure what brought her to this state, but I’d learned in the past that sex makes emotions surface that are usually tamped as far down as we can shove them.
Carnal sex brings it out even more. Raven was a strong woman, and submitting to me the way she did had probably released pent-up feelings.
As she cried in the dark against me, I didn’t want to take her emotions away. I wanted her to feel everything so she could work through it, but I wanted to help her. I wanted to be someone she could show her weaknesses to without fear of appearing weak. She was anything but weak.
Her sobs turned to sniffles and I stood, pulling her up off the floor with me.
The whispered words had ripped open my chest, and though my plan hadn’t involved staying the night, I hadn’t wanted to leave even before she asked me to stay.
I walked us through the massive living room and down a hall that had a handful of doors on either side.
Assuming the main bedroom was the last one, I shuffled us in and closed the door.
It was dark, but I could tell by the almost nonexistent light from streetlights outside the curtained window that I chose the right one.
I walked to the side of the large bed and flicked on the lamp, the soft warmth filling the room.
Everything was adorned in black which I wasn’t surprised by.
The sheets, the drapes, and decor on the light gray walls were all the same shade of onyx, but it was tasteful.
It wasn’t over the top, which could have easily been the case with this theme. I liked it.
When I looked back to where I left Raven, she was gone.
My gaze traveled to the ensuite bathroom with light spilling from underneath the door.
I wasn’t going to let her isolate herself now that the post-sex haze was fading.
If she didn’t want to be alone before, she wasn’t going to change her mind once she regained her composure.
Moving to the door, I knocked but she didn’t answer. “Raven, I’m coming in whether you want me to or not. You have five seconds before I do. And don’t try to lock me out because we both know that won’t stop me.” My poor attempt at humor probably didn’t make her laugh but it was worth a shot.
“One. Two. Three.” Right before I said four, the door opened.
A plush white robe, the ones you see in hotels and movies, covered her body. The useless dress she’d been wearing was still ripped to shreds on the floor somewhere. She looked up at me with blank eyes for a moment before walking back to the sink.
I moved behind her as she ran a damp cloth over her face, but I didn’t touch her. I wanted to spin her around, take her into my arms and never let go, but I kept my hands at my sides.
“Tell me what you need.” Gone was the dominant Zander, and in his place was me, Ryan, who just wanted to make her smile.
Raven sighed and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest like she was embarrassed. “I don’t need you to stay. I’m better now. I don’t know why I said that out there,” she murmured as she averted her gaze.
I shook my head. “I’m staying. I technically just broke into your house.” I chuckled. “Then I defiled that pretty mouth, and after all of that you asked me to stay.” I moved close enough that our bodies were touching and grinned down at her. “Baby, I’m staying.”
Loosing a breath, she finally looked at me. “Fine.”
“I didn’t scare you, did I?” I said as I reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear.
She leaned into the touch and closed her eyes. Cupping her cheek with my palm, I smoothed my thumb across her soft skin.
“Yes, but I wasn’t scared anymore when I knew it was you. I didn’t know I would like something like that, but I did.”
I kissed her forehead. “Why aren’t you scared of me, Raven? Most people would be scared.”
Her green eyes glinted, tears pooling in their depths, as she stared into my soul. “There are worse monsters in the world, Ryan. I know a monster when I see one.”
The blow of her words landed in my chest, and I almost stepped back reflexively. Instead, I hauled her into my arms, hoping her body against mine would quell the burning inside me. “What happened to you?” I whispered.
I didn’t know what or who happened to her, but I wanted to hunt down her monsters. I wanted to strangle the life from their lungs. Someone or multiple someones had hurt her, and they deserved to suffer for it.
We stood in silence as the minutes ticked by.
Raven in my arms was the most natural thing I’d ever felt, and I wasn’t ever letting her go.
When she finally drew back and looked at me again, the tears that threatened were gone.
She gazed up at me with a face devoid of emotion, like she was indifferent.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. It was a long time ago, and I’ve moved on.”
Clearly, she hadn’t moved on, but instead of pressing, I steered her into the bedroom. She crawled into bed without hesitation, the robe parting slightly around her breasts as she did, and my mouth watered at the hint of them.
I pulled the duvet up over her and situated myself atop the covers with my back against the wall. Settling on a pillow, she gazed up at me.
“You can sleep, too,” she breathed as her eyes roamed over my clothes.
Finding her hand underneath the sheets, I entwined my fingers with hers. “I’m making sure no other men break into your house to give you orgasms. That’s my job now.”
She giggled, the sound a sweet song drifting into the room. I leaned down to kiss her cheek, and soon her breathing evened out as I watched over her.
I jerked awake, disoriented and unsure of my surroundings. I glanced around the unfamiliar room, trying to right myself. A whimper came from beside me and I glanced over to see Raven on her back with her brows creased and her eyes squeezed shut.
I must have dozed off while she slept. I only meant to stay for an hour or so before creeping out to make sure the rest of my plan for her was in place. Breaking into her house was only the beginning.
Scooting back, I brought myself flat against the wall after having slumped down in an uncomfortable position in my slumber.
Raven cried out, her breaths coming in pants and tears leaking from her eyes.
I hustled to my feet and pulled back the covers, sliding in beside her.
I hated that my clothes were between us so I pulled my hoodie and T-shirt over my head and threw them to the floor.
Pulling her into my arms, I rolled her onto her side to face me and held her head to my chest. “Raven, baby, it's just a dream,” I soothed, loud enough to bring her out of sleep, but quiet enough to not startle her.
Her breathing began to return to normal and she shifted in my arms, bringing her hands up to my bare chest. Her nails dug into my flesh, but I didn’t care. I would rather her cause me pain if it took hers away.
She moved her head back, and I glanced down, meeting her eyes.
I smoothed the hair that was plastered to her face away and wiped her tears like I had a few hours before.
She was beautiful even with tear-stained cheeks and hair mussed from sleep—looking at me with emotions written on her face that I couldn’t decipher.
“Are you all right?” I asked, and as soon as the words left me, her tears welled up again.
She shook her head and buried her face back into my chest. “He came after me. In my dreams,” she sputtered. “I was into what happened earlier, but before I knew it was you I thought he found me.”
I pulled back and searched her face. “Who found you? Raven, tell me what happened.”
Sighing, she sat up in bed, pulling her robe back into place after it had fallen off one shoulder.
She dropped her head in her hands like she was ashamed.
“When I was eighteen, I was sexually assaulted. Before I decided to go to college to pursue finance,” she admitted, wiping her eyes.
She glanced over at me and must have seen the rage plastered on my face because she rushed to add, “The guy wasn't able to go all the way before they were dealt with and the other one just held me for him. I wasn’t raped, but he touched me.”
That didn’t help. Just the thought of someone touching her without her explicit consent prior made my blood boil. I would have never done the things I had with her if I hadn’t known her boundaries beforehand.
I gritted my teeth. “You can tell me as much or as little as you want, but I have to know one thing. Are you still in danger from them?” I asked.
I was terrified of her answer given that she was nervous someone was following her, but if she was being threatened I was going to lose my shit if anyone came near her.
“No. The guy that did the most is dead now. His friend who held me down ran away before the cops came.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “He’s still out there, and he threatened me before he left, but I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”
She peered out into the room, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I sometimes dream that he finds me. My therapist said it can happen for decades after the event.”
Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Raven thought I was him earlier. I dropped my head into my hands and balled my fists in my hair. “Fuck!”
I couldn’t bear to look at her. I’d done too much, went too far. I brought all of that back for her. Her soft touch caressed my arm. “Ryan.”
I lifted her hand from my arm, bringing it up to my lips. “Raven, I’m so sorry. I—”
She put a finger to my lips. “I know what you’re thinking. Stop. You didn’t know and honestly, once I knew it was you, I was ready to do anything you told me to. You make me want to submit in a way I’ve never wanted to before.”
“I’m supposed to be the one comforting you right now, you know?”
She smirked. “Yeah, well, it’s in my nature to be the composed one.” She shifted closer, moving so she was nestled into my shoulder, staring out into the room. “But with you, I feel like maybe I don’t have to be.”
My heart squeezed like a vise in my chest, and even though I was already obsessed with this woman, the night solidified the idea that I was beginning to feel something more than that.