Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ryan
“Can I ask you something?” Raven asked as she nuzzled into my chest after I fucked her senseless all over my apartment when I was finished recording.
I’d gotten to a sex scene in the script and I pulled her into the studio.
What began as her listening, turned to hands exploring and before I knew it I was playing a game of trying to narrate with my fingers inside her.
I pulled her shoulders in tighter and wrapped my other arm around her back to cup her perfect heart-shaped ass. “You never have to ask permission to ask me something, baby. Ask away.”
She blew out a breath. “We never really discussed the other night.” She hesitated. “After our date.”
“The one where you made me a whimpering mess?” I chuckled, my skin heating as I remembered kneeling at Raven’s feet.
Raven groaned. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
I trailed mindless strokes up and down the small of her back. “What about it?”
Her voice turned to a whisper, suddenly unsure of herself. “Did you…did you like it?”
“The way I came for you wasn’t an indication?” I moved my hand to tip her chin up to me. “Of course I did, baby. It was fucking hot.”
The corners of her eyes pulled tight as she grinned. “Really? So you’re into it?”
I nodded and she dropped a kiss on my chest. “In my opinion, BDSM looks different for everyone,” she said. “Being a domme is my typical role with partners, but only in the bedroom. I don’t always do it, either. Sometimes it’s just sex, nothing too wild, but every so often it’s something I need.”
“Raven—”
“Shh, let me finish. I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted the thrill of surprise. You said you didn’t have many limits, and I made sure to designate a safe word first. I would never create an unsafe space for you.”
I cut off her words with my lips, savoring every inch of her mouth. When I pulled away her eyes were clouded with need. I could have her again if I wanted.
“Listen, that wasn’t something I’ve done before, and if I’m honest, I wasn’t expecting it.
I thought you might be more submissive because you’re so dominant in every other facet, but I was wrong.
Regardless of my experience, I would submit to you any time you wanted because I trust you.
” When I brushed the hair from her face, something shifted in my chest. “I like to be dominant too, though. I guess I like both. Is that okay with you?”
“The truth?” she said as she buried her face against my skin.
I kissed the top of her head. “Always the truth with me, baby.”
She took a deep breath. “I haven’t ever submitted to anyone, either.
Not like I did with you the first night.
When I realized it was you and not him, I wanted to let go.
I felt safe enough to let go. I’m sorry I cried after.
Everything hit me at once, but like I told you before, I liked it. I like being both ways with you.”
“Don’t you ever fucking apologize for being emotional or vulnerable with me.
” I gripped her neck and forced her head back, staring into her eyes.
“If someone can’t handle you at your weakest, they don’t deserve you at your strongest. I want all of you.
Your tears, your smiles, your laughs, your whimpers.
” I chuckled, rubbing my nose against hers. The mood lifted and she smiled.
She settled back against me, the silence stretching between us. Her steady breaths on my chest was the only sound, a perfect white noise for just existing with her.
Suddenly, she spoke and snapped me out of my daze. “Do you like Halloween?”
“I don’t dislike it. I’m indifferent, I guess. My parents never played up holidays so I don’t have the same attraction to them as other people.”
Her head snapped up. “Wait, are you saying you never went trick-or-treating as a kid?”
“Nope. I got into shit when I was in college on Halloween, but honestly, the day didn’t matter. I got into shit most days when I was in college.”
She raised up to sit beside me in the bed, the sheet falling away from her body. Her breasts were still red from my hands and mouth, and a nudge of satisfaction stirred between my legs despite the multiple times I’d already come for her.
“I’m devastated you didn’t get to experience the best day of the year like a normal kid.
I love everything about Halloween. From handing out candy at my parents’ house to staying up late watching old slasher films.” The tempo of her words increased with excitement.
“Since I opened my office, I’ve always done a big, themed display the week before.
The first year I did Frankenstein and built the monster himself… ”
She was so fascinating with her animated rambling that I fell into a trance, her stories about her decorations drenching me like a rainstorm.
Her lips moved quickly, and she gestured with her hands, and I lost the ability to speak.
I was captivated by her, this beautiful creature that was enthralled by something so simple as Halloween decorations.
“Are you listening to me?” Raven snapped.
I reached for her, tugging her back down to my chest. “Of course. I would listen to you ramble all day, baby. Inject that shit into my veins,” I said as I kissed her forehead.
She chuckled. “Sorry, I get excited about Halloween.”
My laugh boomed off the walls. “You? My goth queen, excited over Halloween? Surely not.”
“Hey!” she said as she nudged her knee into my thigh. “If you don’t behave like a good peasant, the queen might not consider your company worthwhile any longer.”
Before she could blink, I flipped her onto her back and hovered above her. Her squeal of surprise swelled my cock.
“Could a peasant coax a sound such as that one from a queen?” I lowered my head and nipped her bottom lip before pulling back. “I think not,” I whispered and devoured her mouth thoroughly.
When I came up for air, she was heaving. “Even though I’m not well-versed in all things spooky, I can still think of a few things I’d like to do with you on All Hallows Eve. Maybe some hunting and masks would be ripe for the occasion.”
Her pupils dilated, the emerald only a sliver around the black, and she fervently nodded. “Please,” she whimpered.
I rolled back to the bed and cuddled her back into my side. “Your wish is my command, my love.”
Her breath hitched, and my heart stopped. Fuck. I didn’t mean to say that. Just then my phone rang on the nightstand, and I lunged for it, thankful someone decided to bail me out. “Aaron” was displayed on the screen.
“I need to take this, babe.” I swung to the side of the bed, sliding my thumb to answer the call. “Hey, man. Give me a sec.”
I put the phone on the nightstand while I slid into sweats. “All right. What’s up?” I asked as I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me.
“I’m in the camera system. One of the employees clicked the link yesterday, and I hacked into the feed today. I’m gonna send a link to an app for you to download, then login credentials. You should be able to see and hear everything, in addition to controlling the rotation features.”
“Thanks, Aaron, I owe you. Send me the costs, and I’ll send the money.”
“No sweat.”
The phone beeped, signaling the end of the call, and I laid my phone on the counter.
Trepidation hung in my chest. I was going to have to talk to Raven about what this thing between us was.
I was attached, and if she didn’t feel the same, it would be better to end it now.
I was going to be hung up on her, regardless, but it would suck worse the longer this went on.
Saying I was addicted to her was an understatement.
Hell, I might not leave her alone even if she told me to.
The phone rang on the counter again, and “Dad” flashed on the screen.
Fuck answering that. I wasn’t going to be subject to whatever bullshit Dad had to say right now.
He rarely called me, but it was a Saturday night, and he was likely too far into the whiskey.
He always liked to berate me when he was three sheets to the wind when I was a kid.
Every now and then over the years of being shunned, he would get drunk and call to tear into my ass.
I silenced the ringer and turned to the cabinet for a glass. The bedroom door creaked open and Raven stepped out, fully dressed.
“Hey, I’m going to head out. I’ve got to run to the grocery store on my way home, and I need to get some chores done before I go have lunch with Mom tomorrow.”
My stomach dropped as she came to give me a hug and kissed me on the cheek.
She hadn’t mentioned meeting her mom. I assumed she would crash here tonight or we would go back to her place.
Thoughts ran rampant through my mind. Had I spooked her with what I said?
Was she running away because this was, in fact, just something casual to her?
I hurried around the counter and caught her arm as she was halfway to the door. “Raven, wait.”
She turned, looking at me with her gemstone eyes and that was it. That was the moment I decided I was going to do whatever it took to keep her. Even if she didn’t want a relationship, it was better than a life without her.
A lock of hair had fallen in her face so I reached up to brush it away, my fingers ghosting along her cheek. “Are you okay?”
Her green eyes bore into me like the winds of a cyclone. I held my breath, ice water sluicing down my spine and heart pounding in my chest.
“Raven, I…I didn’t mean—”
She reached her hand up to cup my cheek, cutting my words short. “I’m fine, Ryan. Don’t overthink, all right?”
I let out the breath, the hiss between my teeth filling the space between us.
“I’ll text you later, and maybe we could have dinner tomorrow before another busy week?” she asked.
I ducked my head and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth in response. “Be safe, all right?”
She donned a wicked grin. “Don’t worry. Anyone who fucks with me will have it coming to them. I bite back.”
I brought my lips close to her ear and whispered, “Promise?”
The app finished downloading, and I tapped the blue magnifying glass icon. After entering the login details Aaron had sent me, two camera feeds filled the screen.
I couldn’t quell my curiosity, and needed to test the cameras anyway, so as soon as Raven left, I downloaded the app.
Tapping into each feed, I rotated the camera using the arrow controls and everything seemed to be responding adequately.
The green night vision effect had an eerie feel to it, but both the outside of Raven’s apartment door and her office were dark and undisturbed.
There was also a feature that allowed me to go back in time since it seemed the cameras recorded instead of just being a live feed.
This was full send stalker mode, but was it actually stalking if the person I was watching had just been in my bed, and I was simply doing it to make sure she was safe?
The question lingered in my mind, and now that I’d gotten to know Raven, guilt tugged at me for watching her.
That guilt was dashed when she walked into the frame of the apartment camera.
As I watched her fumble with her keys and disappear inside, I suddenly didn’t care what was wrong or right when it came to her.
It didn’t matter in the beginning when I craved her so badly I couldn’t stop myself, and it didn’t matter now that I was falling for her.
The aching feeling in my chest when I thought about her was there from the beginning.
Maybe it was an obsession at first, but it grew into something different.
I knew from the moment I heard her voice that she was different.
I had to stop myself from grabbing my keys and driving to her apartment to tell her exactly that.
She said not to overthink it earlier, but the fear of fucking this up lingered.
I couldn’t lose her, no matter how much I wanted to make sure she knew she was mine.
I would give her the space and whatever time she needed, but she was fucking mine and had been all this time.