Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Wariness crept into Collin’s eyes, and her stomach threatened to revolt, but she took a deep breath and powered on.
She was about to take them over a relationship cliff, and while she thought he’d be okay with it, the fact that they’d only been back in each other’s lives for less than two weeks played in her head.
Like her grandfather’s records when they used to skip, playing the same five notes over and over again.
“Talk here or somewhere else?” she asked.
His head swiveled a little wildly, then he stepped away. Twining his fingers with hers, he led her down a series of halls to a smallish library in the back corner of the castle.
“I don’t know what this room was originally,” Collin said, flicking on a gas fireplace.
“Roger made this upgrade when he did the others. Sometime when I was a kid.” He paused and studied the flames.
She remained silent as he prodded at some memory or thought.
He came back to the room abruptly and gestured to the leather couch. “Shall we?”
She held out her hand, her body warming as his big one closed over hers.
When they were seated, he pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her legs.
“What’s this plan?” he asked, the expression on his face reminding her of someone winding the handle of a jack-in-the-box waiting for it to pop out.
“I’m guessing you and Kendall both want to get settled in Mystery Lake.
” He opened his mouth, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“I have no idea what the next few weeks or months are going to look like with Sundaram, so I’m only focusing on the next few days.
” He gave a hesitant nod. Her heart started fluttering, and she turned his hand over to trace the lines of his palm, more to give her own hands something to do as she jumped off this cliff.
“My parents want to meet Kendall. They’ve accepted she’s going to be a part of their lives, and they want to welcome her to the family.
” She felt his head jerk toward her. Not that she saw it, since her eyes were fixed on his palm.
“My brother and Patrick will be in tomorrow. I propose that we stay here and have Christmas Eve with my parents and brother’s family, then after dinner we drive up to Mystery Lake so Kendall can wake up Christmas morning in her new home.
I have a few weeks off, and she and I can spend the time getting to know the town and maybe learning more about the schools and that sort of thing.
I say ‘Kendall and I’ because I know you have to work.
Hopefully, we can troop around as a threesome when you have the time, though. What do you think?”
Several seconds passed and he said nothing. Nausea started crawling into her throat, sharp and bitter. But then he blinked, drawing her attention to his eyes. His glassy eyes.
“Collin?” she said, tentatively lifting a hand to touch his cheek. Only she didn’t get the chance. Before she could even gasp in surprise, he had her across his lap, his lips on hers.
In a whirlwind of clothes, indiscriminate sounds, and squeaks from the couch, what felt like a heartbeat later, an orgasm rocketed through her thanks to his nimble tongue and talented lips.
Before she even finished, he pushed inside her, saying something.
Lots of things. But consumed by the feel of him, by his unleashed need and trust, she couldn’t make any out.
Not that she needed to. His body, the way he touched her, told her everything.
She shouldn’t have questioned leading them over this cliff.
They were already falling. And holding on to each other the whole way.
That heady realization, that certainty that he was with her through whatever the future might bring, brought her to the edge again, and together, pleasure erupted through their bodies in pulsing waves so strong they stole her breath.
They hung, suspended there in that moment, a moment much bigger than the physical, for the space of several breaths. Then, as it was wont to do, life inched its way back into their world.
Her spine released its tension and relaxed onto the couch. Collin didn’t lower himself fully on top of her, but the tautness of his back eased under her fingers. Languorously, she traced the muscles, his skin damp beneath her touch, as they caught their breath.
She wanted the moment to stretch and imprint itself in her memory, but her hip digging into the back of the couch had her shifting. Collin lifted away but didn’t rise. Instead, he stilled and gazed down at her, an impossibly tender look in his eyes, maybe even a hint of awe.
She ran her fingers along his jaw, then cupped his cheek. “I take it my plan works for you?”
“It’s more than I ever thought to even hope for,” he answered, his voice gruff with emotion.
Her heart threatened to break for him—for all the holidays he hadn’t had as a kid, for those he spent deployed in far-flung parts of the world, for the family he never thought he’d have.
Yes, he had his brothers, but Collin’s yearning for a family of his own, for a partner in life, had never been a secret to her.
He’d never said anything, not at fourteen or even eighteen, but she’d seen it in the way he watched her parents, in the way he became a part of her family.
She tipped her head back, lifting her lips toward his.
He obliged her invitation with a lingering kiss before withdrawing from her body and crossing the room to the massive dark oak desk.
For someone who didn’t have a lot of sexual experience, he was remarkably comfortable with his own nudity.
Maybe the military made any sort of modesty difficult, but whatever the reason, she definitely didn’t mind.
In fact, she rather enjoyed the sight of him prowling around without a stitch on.
Finding what he went looking for, he returned with several tissues. “Sorry, there’s no bathroom attached to this room,” he said, handing them to her.
It took her a second to figure out what he meant; when she did, she shook her head. “There’s one two doors down. I’ll go use that to clean up.”
He frowned. “Then you have to get dressed.”
She rose and reached for her shirt. “As appealing as a day lounging around in the nude with you is, we have a house full of your family, a lunch that will be ready in a few minutes, and the rest of the holiday to plan.”
He stared, then grunted an unintelligible word but reached for his own boxer briefs. After dressing quickly, she slipped down to the bathroom. When she returned, he was sitting on the couch, fully clothed, phone in hand, with no sign of what had happened moments before.
“What are you looking at?” she asked, joining him.
“We need to order Kendall’s presents,” he said. “I don’t want to go too crazy, that will kind of feel like I’m trying to buy her affection—”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that, but I see your point. It might be overwhelming.”
“But I want to get her a few meaningful things.”
“I have a few ideas,” she said, pulling out her own phone.
His chuckle rolled over her like a warm blanket. “I knew you would.”
Twenty minutes later, six gifts were on their way to the Falcons’ clubhouse.
Helia’d stopped him from texting Dottie to ask if she could wrap them, insisting they do it themselves.
Midnight wrapping parties were part of the fun of the holidays.
They were practically a requirement. His eyes had narrowed, and he’d cocked his head in doubt at that statement, but in the end, agreed.
At her suggestion, he had, however, asked Dottie to make sure Kendall’s room was ready when they arrived.
She’d heard from Callie that Philly had happily agreed to give her his old one—right next to Collin’s.
Helia veered off to the tasting room when they exited the back room, but a text from Kendall had her changing direction and heading to the third floor.
After knocking on the girl’s door, she poked her head in. “You rang?” Helia asked.
Kendall paced the room, her baggy black jeans swishing with every step. A contrast to the silence of her sock-clad feet hitting the wool carpet.
Helia stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. Kendall paced to the other side of the room, then spun, the sides of her unzipped sweatshirt flying open to reveal the vintage Hello Kitty shirt they’d found in the thrift store.
“Christmas,” Kendall said, coming to an abrupt stop, her already big eyes even wider. “I don’t know anything about Christmas.”
Ah.
“Well, not nothing,” she continued, resuming her pacing.
“My mom and I celebrated every now and then. We even had a tiny tree a couple of times.” She held her hand out to about four feet high.
“She gave me a pair of socks and a new backpack one year. I got my computer three years ago. I gave her a silk scarf I found at a Goodwill and a wallet.” She paused and cast Helia such a look of terror that Helia nearly reached for her.
“I don’t know what to do about Christmas.
And…and my mom just died, and I don’t know whether I should be excited or sad.
And…and I’m worried that I’m going to do something wrong, that maybe I’ll disappoint everyone by, like, being sad about my mom, and then they won’t want me around because I’ll be spoiling their day.
And what about presents? How am I supposed to know what to get everyone, let alone have the money to pay for it? ”
Helia couldn’t take any more, and she stepped forward and gathered the girl in her arms. Kendall remained stiff as a board for about ten seconds, then melted. “What am I gonna do?” she said, her voice mumbled against Helia’s shoulder.
“First things first,” she said, glad she and Collin hadn’t gone overboard on the presents.
“Feeling all these things is fine. Don’t ever think you have to feel, or not feel, something because of other people.
You shouldn’t do that ever, but in particular, you don’t need to do that around anyone in this house.
Or the Falcons clubhouse,” she added, thinking of the few brothers who weren’t in the castle.
“You know a little of Collin’s background, and unfortunately, his story isn’t unique among that group.
And you heard Juliana, Callie, and Lina tell you a little about their lives.
If anyone is going to understand how complicated grief and childhood can be, it’s this group of people.
” She paused to let that sink in. Three breaths, then four, and Kendall’s body relaxed.
“What about presents? I don’t have any money for presents.”
Helia smiled and led her over to the bed.
Climbing up onto the big hulk of furniture, she scooted over, then patted the empty space beside her.
“The good news is, one of the rules about Christmas is that kids aren’t expected to give gifts.
Not to everyone anyway. I picked up a few small things for Collin the other day but wanted to find one more present to put under the tree.
Maybe we could find it together and it could be from both of us.
And before you mention money again, your input is contribution enough.
You hear things and see things that I don’t.
I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re going to have a better idea what he might like than I will. ”
“I think he already got what he wanted for Christmas,” Kendall said, nudging her with a grin as she snuggled against the stack of pillows.
“Rude,” Helia muttered affectionately, making Kendall giggle. Smiling to herself, she tilted the phone for Kendall to see. “Now what do you think of this?”