Monster of My Dreams (Shadows of the Heart #1)

1. Janie

Chapter 1

Janie

I sipped on my hot coffee, its warmth spread through my body as I gazed at my phone screen. I yawned again as I put the mug down. I’m not completely sure if I am truly experiencing deep, rejuvenating sleep. I am sleeping. But I am not waking up full of vigor and energy. You could say that my dreams have been restless. There isn’t much rest inside my dreams. Heat rose to my cheeks as the memories filled my mind.

Even the memories of the touching caused my body to react. Strange tendrils caressed my body while I dreamed. Sometimes they felt real, like someone was touching me in real life. Sometimes I was sure it was a dream. There was another spike of fear filling my body that I was in the middle of a psychotic break. I took another sip as I checked the time on my phone. The light above my table flickered. I bit my lip as I looked up, my heart pounding in my chest. I could have sworn the lightbulb was one of those energy-efficient ones that claimed to last a decade. After work, I will have to make a quick trip to the store to buy another pack of light bulbs. Another brand, obviously. With the price of these fancy light bulbs these days, I needed to find a brand that didn’t start flickering after a few days. This had been happening too often. I stood up and dumped my coffee into the sink.

I touched the light switch and paused. Maybe I should talk to the landlord. It could be faulty wiring. Except he will probably blow me off. What are the chances it will actually be an electrical issue? I grabbed my purse and walked out the door. Maybe my dreams were manifestations of things I needed. My co-worker always said that I needed to get laid, and those shadows did naughty things to my body. And I enjoyed it . I shook my head as I jammed my key into my car door. The comforting click of the door unlocking echoed in the air. I tossed my purse into the front seat.

As I slid my feet into the car, a shadow moved by the car door on the concrete. I paused. As I looked around, I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. Were there clouds covering the sun? Did I imagine it? There was no way that shadow moved like that. My hand covered my mouth as I stared at my feet in horror. I closed my eyes to calm my nerves. As I shook my head in disbelief, I closed the door with a resounding thud. Trying to push the fear out of my head, I drove to work. Once the car turned off, I took a few breaths before I walked out of the car and into the factory.

In the back room of a bustling factory, I spent my days as a lab tech, feeling the vibrations of the machinery through the floor. I wasn’t sure about the legality of it. Evidently, we only sold these lenses overseas, which seemed . . . suspicious. Or that’s what Tana said. It was a job that my ex’s friend had snagged for me. It mostly paid my bills. I couldn't help but despise it. Sitting hunched over all day had made my body ache in ways I never expected. I inserted my time card into the clock and walked to the back room. I slipped on my lab coat and walked into the “clean” room. This was another thing that didn’t seem legit. Maybe I had Hollywood’s definition of clean room in my head. It didn’t seem that clean. On the whiteboard, my name was beside stamping . I walked over to the corner where there was a box of envelopes and I pulled out the stamping supplies. My co-worker, Tana, breezed in through the doors. I’d spend the next few hours stamping the envelopes before the lenses would be placed in them. Usually, Ms. Brindle would seal them after that.

“Janie! I see Teresa will not be here today!” she said with glee. Tana’s dark hair was covered in a blue bonnet. The same type of bonnets we wore in the lab. She stopped in front of the whiteboard and turned toward her station that was across from me as she piddled around with things over there. That was one of the few stations I wasn’t trained on yet. Training for each station in the lab was taking forever, and I never felt confident in what I was doing. Even Tana didn’t cover all of Ms. Brindle’s stations. Tana was one of the employees who had been here the longest that wasn’t also ancient. I sometimes wondered if they saved the easiest jobs for Ms. Brindle. Tana spun around in her office chair. “And Ms. Brindle is in the back today. Sealing. It’s just you and me in the big room.”

Stamp . “Good. You know Ms. Brindle hates me. Glad I don’t have to seal with her.”

Tana stopped and looked at me. “You look tired.”

“I’m fine.” Lie. Stamp.

“You look tired,” Tana said.

“I slept.” Stamp. That’s the truth.

“That is a non-answer.”

I shook my head. Stamp. “Maybe you’re right about what you were saying a while ago. ”

“You need to get laid? Yes! We could go to a bar this weekend! I’ll give you my number! Or friend you on the socials and DM you? Or you can get that new app I was telling you about. But what do you want? Love or some dick? Do you like things kinky? I know a website like that!” Tana giggled loudly as she looked at her microscope.

My face warmed at the suggestion of something kinky. “I don’t know what I want. It’s not like I have much experience. I don’t know,” I mumbled.

Stamp. Memories of shadowy tentacles wrapping around my ankles came to the surface. My body started responding to the memories. This was not the time to get hot and horny over…shadows. A few months ago, I would have never thought that would have been alluring. Honestly, after the traumatizing one time with my ex in high school, I didn’t normally have an interest in getting laid. I thought I was the broken one. Although, I still didn’t feel an interest in any sort of man. I had a few exes, but my lack of sex drive and attraction pushed them away. There was a reason they were exes. I didn’t have a powerful urge like Tana seemed to have when she discussed her conquests.

“You just need to relax. And that’s the best way to relax!” she said with a laugh.

Stamp. “I’ll think about it,” I said.

The door opened, and an old woman walked inside. Ms. Brindle was here, and my day was about to be ruined. Her white hair was pulled into a severe bun underneath her hairnet.

I turned toward her. “Good morning!” I said brightly. Gotta fake it till she likes me. Plaster a smile on my face. The woman sneered at me and breezed past my table. She opened the door beside me and walked through. I sighed. “Why does she hate me?”

Tana shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s jealous that you are young? I don’t remember her doing this to the other girls, though.”

“I’m not that young. Just not old.” Somehow I was in that nebulous phase of life where I wasn’t young, but not old. Everyone was happy and getting married. Or vacationing with their friends. How do you make friends as an adult? All I had was Tana in my life. I shouldn’t push her away, but what if she realizes I’m not friend material once we get closer? There was something deep inside me that pushed people away, because maybe I deserve nothing nice.

Tana shrugged again, her shoulders rising and falling nonchalantly. “It’s not like everyone here is young except for the boys,” she said as she pointed to the wall. She didn’t turn to face me, but I could imagine a flirty wink on her face if she wasn’t looking into her microscope. On the other side were the bulk of the men that worked at the factory. That’s where they made the raw lenses. “Maybe you should bone one of those guys.”

As I shook my head, my hair swayed from side to side. “No way. That could be a recipe for disaster.”

“That one guy, Rick, always says hi to you through the window,” Tana said.

“Not interested.”

Am I interested in anyone, though? Memories of cold tendrils touching me warmed my belly. Maybe. There was one.